Separation Anxiety
by VioletHills
Summary: Kate is given guardianship of a friend's one-year-old daughter.  Castle tries to help in his own unique way.  Chaos and fluff ensues.
1. IF

**Separation Anxiety**

_A/N: I KNOW. I'm starting another story. But I had this idea and I really wanted to write a fluffier, more family-friendly affair! So, the good news is, I'm pretty much done writing _Tryst _so it won't be me forsaking one story for another. BUT, the bad news is, I have assignments and exams coming up so I probably won't be able to update _this_ story until late next week, if that (after exams though... HOLIDAYS and all the writing I want!) _

_Still, I thought I would post the first chapter and see if there was even any interest/any point in me continuing this little love-fest. So, let me know, 'k? _

_Oh, let's say this story can take place anywhere from third season onward (obviously, in an alternate universe where I own Castle)._

_Onwards, brave readers!_

_

* * *

_**Chapter 1**

.

The phone was ringing.

It was seven a.m. and the phone was ringing.

It was seven a.m. and the phone was ringing and Kate had just gotten home to _finally _get some rest after being at the station for the past two and a half days solving a case.

"This had better be good," Kate muttered as she reached towards her side table, searching blindly for her cellphone. She was stubbornly refusing to turn on the lights until absolutely necessary. She squinted at the number. It wasn't the station and it wasn't Castle. "Hello?" she answered.

"May I speak to Katherine Beckett?" came the female voice on the other end of the line.

"Speaking."

"My name is Anna Lee. I'm with Children and Family Services. Are you familiar with a woman by the name of Madison Queller?"

Kate sat up. "Yes."

"Are you aware that Ms. Queller had a child?"

Kate doesn't miss the use of the past tense. Her voice is strained when she asks, "Has something happened to them?"

"I'm extremely sorry to have to be the one to give you this news over the phone, Ms. Beckett but Ms. Queller was involved in a motor-vehicle accident two weeks ago. Her injuries were too severe and she passed away while the doctors were attempting to get her to surgery."

Kate gasped, "What about Zoey?"

"Her daughter was in the back seat and thankfully, only suffered minor injuries. This is the main reason I am calling you, Ms. Beckett. Ms. Queller didn't have a living will at the time of her death and we are unable to locate any family members."

"Yes." Kate's voice was starting to shake. "Madison's mother passed away when we were teenagers and her father also, a couple of years ago, although they weren't close. I think she has a distant uncle in Norway but I'm not really sure. Maddie didn't talk much about her family."

"Yes, well, it's taken us quite a bit of time to track you down, Ms. Beckett. Ms Queller's friends in the restaurant industry were of a professional capacity and most were unaware she had a 15-month-old daughter. Currently, Zoey has been placed in the foster care system and Ms. Queller's affairs are being managed by the state. It was only several days ago that we discovered a note among her belongings that indicated Zoey's guardianship be awarded to you should she pass away. Unfortunately, the document isn't legally binding but the courts have since agreed to honour Ms. Queller's wishes if you are willing to undertake the responsibility. Of course, a series of background and security checks would have to be done as well."

Kate's brain was spinning with the sheer amount of information she had just been given. "But," she started, "I've only met Zoey a couple of times."

"I know all of this comes as a bit of a shock, Ms. Beckett and it is perfectly acceptable if you decline guardianship. I just wanted to make sure we've exhausted all avenues available in order to provide Zoey with the best care due to her."

Kate was trying to think and breathe at the same time. Overwhelmed didn't begin to describe her emotions at the moment. "Ms. Lee?" she finally responded, "Do you think I could give you a call back? I just need some time to think about my options and the situation."

"Of course, Ms. Beckett." The social worker provided Kate with her phone number before hanging up, indicating that she would be in her office until 4 p.m.

Kate hung up the phone and leaned back on her headboard. She was definitely wide-awake now. "Oh, Maddie," Kate sighed. She briefly wondered why she hadn't been informed that her friend had passed away before she realised that she and Madison didn't really have any mutual friends anymore. They'd only reconnected two years ago during that case she had been working on. After that, they had gone out for coffee several times and Kate wasn't surprised to find out that Madison had been ready to have a child with or without a guy in the picture – Madison was always very goal-oriented. Two months later and Madison had chosen the "perfect man" via sperm bank biographies and was expecting a baby.

Kate immediately realised what an idiot she had been for even hesitating at claiming guardianship for her friend's daughter. It said a lot that Madison would trust her to take care of the most important thing in her life even after all of these years; she knew that Madison wouldn't even humour the possibility of not doing the same for Kate if the situation were reversed.

Kate picked up the phone and dialled. Not five minutes had passed since she had hung up with the social worker. "Hi, Ms. Lee," she said when the phone was finally picked up. "This is Kate Beckett."

.

The house was nice, if a little on the dilapidated side.

Kate entered the house with Anna to meet the Millers, the foster parents who had been taking care of Zoey. The house was loud with many kids running around, unable to play outside now that the weather was getting colder.

"She had curly _blonde_ hair the last time I saw her," Kate said as she peered into the living room where Zoey was playing with a stuffed animal.

"Yeah, that happens," said Melissa Miller with a smile. "I had blonde hair when I was a baby and now –" she gestured to her light brown hair.

"Do you want to say hello?" Anna asked.

Kate nodded. She was nervous even though she knew Zoey couldn't possibly remember her and would have no expectations whatsoever. She sat down cross-legged on the carpet and Zoey looked up at her curiously. "Hi Zoey," she said with a smile. "My name is Kate."

.

Zoey had clothes and toys from before that Kate packed into the trunk of her car. Anna had warned her that Zoey would probably be upset at having to leave the Millers (she had cried for a couple of days after arriving there as well) and to help with the transition, she had Anna and Melissa accompany her back into the city. Only when Zoey was settled in Kate's apartment did Anna and Melissa leave.

And then Kate was left terrifyingly alone in her apartment with a one-year-old.

She had taken a week off of work in order to help herself and Zoey set up a routine but Kate realised on the Sunday before she was due to return that a week wasn't nearly enough time to adjust to a life with a toddler. For one thing, there was a lot more laundry to do now.

Kate hadn't told anyone but Lanie and the Captain about her new situation and when Castle kept pestering her about why she was taking a week off of work, she shut him up by saying it was a family emergency. (Only that kind of backfired because he started getting that concerned quality in his voice and kept asking her if he could help in any way.) She had purposely been screening her calls for the week, only picking up if it was Lanie, the Captain, or her father. By her count, she probably had 20 new voicemail messages from Castle by now.

And Kate hadn't really been planning on letting anybody else know that she had managed to acquire herself a child in the week of her absence except that when she tried to leave Zoey with the nanny that morning, she had screamed bloody murder and refused to leave Kate's side. Needless to say, when she stepped off the elevator that morning, she was met with more stares than she had gotten since Castle had released the newest cover art for the latest Nikki Heat instalment.

"Uh, Beckett?" Esposito said as she passed him and Ryan at their desks. "Something you want to tell us?"

Kate sighed as she dropped her purse next to the knapsack she had packed for Zoey (for some reason, it had surprised Kate how many things a child needed). "Yes boys, this is a child."

"Is it _your _child?" Ryan asked.

And Kate thought that she might as well tell them the story now that there was absolutely no way she couldn't. They reacted the way she knew they would: confused, then shocked, then sympathetic and then with adamant declarations that she could count on them to help out in any way they could.

"Good morning, detectives," came a cheery voice behind her just as she was finished thanking Ryan and Esposito for their support.

During this entire time, Zoey had maintained a vice-like grip on her shirt with one hand while sucking her thumb with the other. Her head was on Kate's shoulder but her grey eyes were wide open, curious but too shy to acknowledge the new faces around her. As Kate turned around, Zoey's head shifted slightly to see who had just spoken. "Castle. You're here surprisingly early," Kate replied, glancing down at her watch.

"Well, it's your first day back." Castle sounded completely normal and Kate was surprised that Castle _wasn't _surprised. "I thought you could use the coffee," he continued, "Oh, and I brought apple juice for the tiny human. I found Alexis' old sippy cup. Isn't it awesome?"

They had made their way back to Kate's desk where Castle placed her usual cup of coffee on the table beside a sippy cup that had the words "_juice junkie" _scrolled across it.

"Castle, how did you—"

"I finagled it out of the Captain and then got it confirmed from Lanie." Castle grinned. "Those two cannot keep a secret."

Kate rolled her eyes. "You probably just annoyed them until they gave in so that they wouldn't murder you instead."

"Whatever works," he responded. He tilted his head to peer at Zoey whose eyes widened at the sudden appearance of a face entering her field of vision. "Hi…"

"Zoey," Kate supplied.

"Hello, Zoey! My name is Rick but feel free to call me whatever you wish in your babble language. I won't be offended." Castle looked back up at Kate. "She kind of looks like you with the brown hair," a beat and then he added with a small smile, "And beautiful eyes."

It always happened when Castle sounded so damn sincere instead of cheeky and flirty – it just threw Kate off completely. She chose to skirt around it. "Yes, well, she refuses to leave my side. I tried with the nanny this morning and she wouldn't have any of it." Kate's tone sobered. "I think she's tired of people going away and not returning."

Castle nodded. "What are you going to do with her all day?"

Kate sat down in her chair, turning Zoey so she was sitting facing Castle on her lap. "Well, I brought all of those toys for her." Kate gestured to the knapsack. "I'm hoping she'll play while I catch up on all of this paperwork."

Castle laughed. "You clearly haven't spent any time with a toddler before, have you?"

"Well, I've spent plenty of time with you, Castle," Kate retorted.

Castle pulled his chair up against Kate's so that their knees were touching. He bent down so that he was eye-level with Zoey. "Hey Zoey, do you want some juice?" he asked, offering her the cup.

Zoey glanced up at Kate to gauge her reaction. "Go ahead, Zo," Kate said with a smile.

Castle pulled out a sparkly tiara made out of ribbons from the plastic bag Kate hadn't noticed that he had beside him. Her eyebrows shot up. "Still playing dress-up, Castle?"

"It was Alexis'."

"Uh huh."

The novelty of a shiny object seemed to work, though, and Zoey immediately reached for it, almost dropping her cup in the process.

Castle made a grab for the juice, placing it on the table before handing Zoey her new toy. And to Kate's surprise, Castle plopped down on the tile floor and started pulling out some of the games from the knapsack. Zoey immediately looked intrigued at this giant of a new friend and slid out of Kate's lap to join Castle on the floor. Kate shook her head and let out a chuckle.

Of course Castle would get along with a one-year-old.

.

* * *

_A/N: Continue? Or just get my ass off of the computer and concentrate on my midterms? Sound off in reviews!_


	2. MY

_A/N: Can I just say how freakin' AWESOME you guys are? All of those reviews and encouragements (and the occasional nudges to just forego those damn midterms), I loved them all! :)  
__P.S.: Totally opted to procrastinate studying...obviously._

_

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_

**Chapter 2**

.

"What is this? A day-care centre?"

It was about an hour later and Kate hadn't been paying much attention to what Castle and Zoey were doing. It was only with the Captain towering over her desk that she looked up from her paperwork and realised that Castle had helped Zoey (or vice versa… Kate wasn't really sure) build an entire kingdom made out of blocks, plastic cups, and other miscellaneous office supplies. Needless to say, the toys were no longer contained in the immediate area of her desk.

"Jeez, Castle!" Kate groaned. "Who's the child here?"

"Beckett," said Montgomery with arms crossed. "Is there a reason why your…"

Kate could see that he had no idea whether or not to call Zoey her child and honestly, Kate wasn't really sure how to define their relationship either. "Zoey. Her name is Zoey," Kate supplied.

"Right. Well, is there a reason why she's here? In the precinct? Where there are firearms and criminals?"

Kate didn't know whether or not to feel guilty. She hadn't had any another option. "Separation anxiety," Kate finally answered. "She's only just gotten used to having stability again and I don't think she wants to be separated from me. Believe me, sir, I've tried."

"Well, how long do you think it will take before she's less… anxious?" Montgomery looked uncomfortable at having to ask the question but he was more uncomfortable with the prospect of having a small child in a not-so-safe environment.

As Kate shrugged, Castle piped up from his position on the floor. "It'll get easier," he said, "Alexis was the same way when she started attending pre-school."

"And did you stay with her the entire day?" Kate asked.

"Well…no. She cried for a full twenty minutes and then I left and snuck into the bushes to make sure she was all right. Stayed there for the whole morning. But, Alexis was a little older and the circumstances were –" Castle looked down at Zoey "—different."

Montgomery nodded. "Beckett, I understand the difficult situation that you've been put in and I'm willing to grant you as much time as you need."

"Thank you, sir."

"But, maybe Zoey could stay somewhere that's less busy?" It was his kind way of saying that they needed to pack up shop. "The lounge is free," he suggested as he walked back towards his office.

Kate let out a sigh and bent down to help Castle gather up all of the makeshift toys, grumbling the entire time about the mess. "Okay, Zoey," she said, picking up the little girl, "We have to play somewhere else now."

Kate grabbed a couple of files off of her desk and the three of them made their way into the lounge.

"Yo, Beckett," Esposito called right as she sat down at the table. "Body just dropped. 43rd and Lex."

"Okay," she answered, while in her head, she thought, _shit_. "You guys go first. I'll meet you there."

She turned towards Castle who was currently sitting on the couch and bouncing Zoey up and down on his lap.

"I can stay here with her," he said.

Kate looked dubious at the prospect that Zoey would allow her to leave without alerting the entire precinct. Still, she _had_ to work and there was no way she was bringing a child to a bloody crime scene. Kate crouched down on the floor in front of the couch and her green eyes met solemn grey ones. "Zoey," she started, wondering if she would even be understood, "I have to go and do some work."

Zoey's eyes immediately started welling up. Having obviously understood at least the word '_go_', she said, "Bye bye?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, but just for a little while. I'll be back really, really soon."

"No!" Zoey cried and then tried to dive into Kate's arms. Castle held her back but as soon as Kate sat down beside them, Zoey struggled out of his grasp so that she could wrap her arms around Kate's neck. "No!" she repeated.

Kate shook her head. "Honey, it's not forever," she said, briefly wondering when she became one of those people who used endearments. She unlatched Zoey's arms and settled her down into a sitting position, wrapping her arms around her tiny body and pulling her close. "Don't you want to stay here and play with Rick?"

"No!" Zoey's vocabulary was growing by the day but that word definitely remained her favourite.

Kate used her thumb to brush away some of Zoey's tears although the little girl was no longer crying so much as sniffling. Kate sighed and gave Castle a wayward glance that clearly read, "_Do _you_ want to give this a try?_"

Castle nodded. "Hey, Zo?" he asked.

Zoey's gaze remained averted. One of her hands still firmly grasping Kate's while the other absently toyed with her watch.

"I really liked playing with you this morning," Castle continued. "Did you have fun?"

It was a couple of seconds before they received a slight nod.

"And don't you want to keep playing?"

Another slight nod.

"Well, Kate has to go somewhere where there are no toys and no games."

Zoey shook her head at that. "No," she said.

Castle chose to take that as a repetition of his words, "That's right, _no_ fun."

"But, if you stay here with Rick," Kate chimed in, "Then you can keep having fun."

"And Kate _promises_ that she'll be back as soon as she can." Castle wrapped his hands around Zoey's for emphasis but since Zoey was holding on to _Kate's _hands, his fingers ended up tangled with hers as well.

"Is that okay, Zo?" Kate asked.

Zoey still looked sceptical.

"How about –" Castle let go of their hands and slid down to the floor. "—Do you see these blocks?" Zoey nodded and Castle started stacking them one on top of another until they were 5 stories high. "When all of the blocks are gone –" Castle demonstrated by removing each of the blocks until just a red one was left on the floor. "—When only this one is left, then that is when Kate will be back."

"Here?" Zoey asked.

Castle and Kate both nodded. "Right here," he repeated. "Okay?"

Kate was filled with relief when Zoey finally nodded. She hugged her tightly before setting her on the floor and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said to Castle when he stood up beside her. "Three hours, max."

"We'll be fine," he told her.

Kate looked back one more time at Zoey before shutting the door behind her but Castle was already busy teaching her how to put a puzzle together.

.

It actually took Kate a bit more than three hours to get back to the precinct.

"How is she?" She was rushing towards the lounge just as Castle was coming out. "Sorry for not calling; it took a little longer than we thought."

Castle waved it off. "I didn't even have to stall with the blocks," he said, "I coerced her into taking a nap an hour ago."

"How did you manage that? I've been dealing with an extremely cranky child every night because she's been refusing to take a nap during the day."

"Magical powers." Kate rolled her eyes and Castle grinned. "Okay, that or the always effective backrub."

Kate peered through the window and saw Zoey sleeping peacefully on the couch with Castle's jacket draped over her and several chairs backed up against the edges. "'Cause that's totally safe," Kate said wryly.

"Hey, I was keeping an eye on her," Castle replied. "I just came out because I saw you coming and didn't want you to wake her up with your fretting."

"Who uses the word 'fretting' any more?" She retorted and added, "Which I wasn't, by the way."

"I could use the word 'hysterical' if you'd prefer. 'Flustered'? 'Fussy'? 'Atwitter'?"

"Thanks but I really don't need a thesaurus."

"And you totally were."

"What?"

"Atwitter."

"Was not."

"You're already turning into a helicopter mom."

"Castle."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay. But, you really shouldn't say bad words in front of small children. They'll repeat it. Oh! I should tell you about the time I accidentally whipped myself – it was research – and Alexis heard me scream 'z—"

"—Castle!"

"Right. Inappropriate."

"Wait. What swear word starts with a 'z'?"

"It's French."

.

Castle seemed to anticipate Zoey's continued refusal to part with Kate because the next three days went much like the first. There was a whole lot less crying though when Kate was called away to interrogate a suspect or follow up on a lead. By Thursday, Zoey barely took notice when Kate left the room. That is, as long as Castle was there.

They made the mistake of letting Ryan watch over her while she took her nap on Wednesday. When she woke up and couldn't see either Kate _or_ Castle, she screamed so loudly that some of the other detectives rushed over to see if somebody had gotten mortally wounded.

"Hey Esposito, where's Castle?" Kate asked. She had been in the morgue with Lanie for the past hour.

"I think he said something about going to the park," he answered.

Kate glanced at her watch. It was a little after one, the time when Zoey normally went down for a nap. Just as she was about to call Castle, a high-pitched squeal rang out from the direction of the elevator. Castle was tickling Zoey while she attempted to wriggle away; spotting Kate, though, her eyes lit up and Castle let her run into Kate's arms.

"Hello, little girl," said Kate, picking Zoey up and hugging her tight. "Where did you go?"

"Swing!"

"Did you have fun?"

Zoey nodded, her brown pigtails bobbing up and down from her enthusiastic movements.

"Here," said Castle, "We got you a sandwich."

"Oh," Kate said, surprised, "Thanks."

"Figured you haven't had anything all day except for coffee."

"Well, I had some Skittles," she replied.

"Healthy."

"Says the inventor of the s'morelet."

Castle grinned. "So," he said, pointing to the murder board, "What happened with the husband?"

"Ugh." Kate sighed. "He alibi-ed out."

"I knew it wasn't him."

"You did not! You've barely even looked at the case!"

"Hey, I can multi-task," he said.

Kate then realised that she had probably sounded incredibly unappreciative since the reason Castle hadn't been helping out on the case was because he was too busy helping _her_. "Oh god, Castle, I'm so sorry," she said immediately.

"For what?"

"For making you take care of…" she nodded down at the little girl in her arms (who was nearly asleep on her shoulder as the adrenaline of the afternoon slowly wore off).

"Hey," said Castle. "You didn't _make_ me do anything. I volunteered."

"Yeah, but—"

"—Kate," he placed a hand on her arm. "Really. I love taking care of Zoey. She's really fun." He moved his hand to slip some of the loose tendrils behind Zoey's ear. "Reminds me of when Alexis was little."

Kate smiled softly. "Okay. Well, just so you know, you don't have to keep doing it if you don't want to. You can say 'no'."

He grinned at that. "When have I ever been able to say 'no' to you?"

.

* * *

_A/N: Guys, I was so wired after seeing a certain MAJOR CASTLE SPOILER that I could barely finish writing this chapter. DAY-UM. I just kept looking at it and looking at it… I need CONTEXT, people! Anybody else freak the hell out and scare whoever was around them at the time?_

_And to the person who picked up on the name Zoey, YES, I freakin' LOVE(D) Firefly. But also, I just really like the name. Changed the spelling, though; artistic license and all. ;) /Browncoat out._


	3. HEART

**Chapter 3**

.

"Rosie, I'll try to be home by six," Kate said to the nanny as she wrestled with her coat while simultaneously trying to slip into her heels.

"That's fine, Kate," Rosie said from the kitchen. Zoey had been up hours ago (Kate no longer needed an alarm clock) but it was only in the last ten minutes that Kate had managed to convince Zoey to eat her breakfast.

"Can you—" Kate indicated the mess of soggy cereal bits scattered across the table and the floor.

"Yeah, I'll take care of it."

"Thank you so much, I'm running a little late." She grabbed her keys and her phone from the side table. "Bye Zoey!"

"Say bye to your mommy," Rosie said.

Zoey twisted around in her high chair and waved, mouth occupied from stuffing a handful of Cheerios in there a second earlier.

Kate laughed, waving one more time before shutting and locking the door behind her. She was glad that Zoey seemed to be adjusting to Rosie – it took a couple of weeks but she was no longer as clingy as she had been. Still, Zoey remained super shy around people. Castle did manage to make her warm up a little to Esposito, Ryan and Lanie during the weeks that she spent at the precinct but she really only showed her true bubbly personality to Kate, Castle, and now occasionally Rosie.

.

"Beckett," said Castle, handing her a cup of coffee before settling down in his chair, "How's the Zoester?"

"Zoester?"

"Just tryin' in out. You don't like it?"

"It sounds like toaster."

"Or gangster."

"Is that better?"

"Street cred, Beckett."

"Right." Kate rolled her eyes. "_Zoey_ is fine. We seem to be settling into a routine now which I think is what she needs."

"And would I approve of this Rosie character?"

"Well, she's not a young, hot blonde if that's what you're asking," Kate replied with a smirk.

"Oh, haha. I _meant_ is she as awesomely fun as I am?"

"Nobody's as 'awesomely fun' as you are Castle."

"Why, thank you, Detective!"

"That wasn't a compliment," Kate retorted immediately. "And Rosie is a good person. I mean she raised two children of her own so she probably knows more about taking care of a toddler than I do. She's very helpful."

Castle scrunched up his nose. "If 'helpful' is the best adjective you've got, I don't think I would approve. And '_very_ helpful'? That's not a promising adverb."

"Well, not everyone can be described in superlatives, Castle."

"Funny, those are the only kinds of people I surround myself with."

.

"Beckett."

"Ssh."

"No, really, Beckett…"

"Castle, I'm trying to think here." Kate was staring intently at the murder board as if staring down the suspect's picture would suddenly make the real person, who was currently sitting in the interrogation room, confess.

He tapped his watch. "It's 7:30."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, it's _7:30_."

Kate's eyes widened. "Oh, shit! I told Rosie I'd be home by six!"

"Yeah, I know."

Kate picked up her phone and quickly dialled her home number. "Rosie!" she exclaimed when the other line clicked on. "I'm so sorry! I got held up at work. Do you think you could stay for a little while longer? … Maybe another hour? … Oh. … No, no, I understand … No, I'll just figure something out … Yeah, I'll see you in a bit. Bye."

"What'd she say?"

"Her son is performing in a play that starts at 8 o'clock." Kate pushed her hand through her hair in frustration. "And that guy-" she pointed a finger accusingly in the direction of the interrogation room, "- refuses to speak."

Kate ran through her options and quickly realised, she only had one logical one. By the look on Castle's face, it seemed as though he'd already thought of it.

"Castle," Kate started slowly.

"Yes?" he answered with an annoying grin. Kate knew that he was just relishing in the fact that she had to ask for his help.

"Can you look after Zoey for me while I try to save the citizens of New York from a murderous psycho-killer?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Castle!"

"Of course I will." This time, his smile was sincere.

Kate opened the second drawer of her desk and rummaged around until she found a crumpled manila envelope. "Here," she said, pulling out some keys and sliding two off of the ring. "This is the key to my building and this one is for my apartment."

"If I had known that you kept your spare keys in that drawer, I would have—"

Kate cut him off. "Zoey should be asleep by the time you get there so just… don't touch anything, okay?"

"No guarantees there, Detective." And then at Kate's glare, he amended. "I promise. No snooping."

Kate sighed. "Thanks Castle."

"You're welcome," he said, plucking the keys out of her hand. Just before he got into the elevator, he turned around. "Just so we're clear, anything out in the open is fair game right?"

"Castle!" Kate yelled but the doors had already closed.

.

When Kate got home, it was after eleven o'clock. She found Castle sprawled across her couch, asleep, with the muted television still on. He was snoring a little, a fact that Kate tucked into her Castle arsenal to be used at an opportune time.

"Castle," she whispered, kneeling in front of him and shaking his shoulder lightly.

He made an unintelligible grunting noise.

"Castle," she tried, louder.

He flipped over on the couch.

Kate huffed and did what she really should have done in the first place.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Castle yelped and sat up abruptly.

"Ssh! Do you want to wake up Zoey?" Kate admonished, still keeping a firm grip on his ear.

"Apples! Apples!" he whispered vehemently.

Kate chuckled and let him go.

"What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his ear.

"Eleven."

"What happened to the psycho-killer?"

"Eh, it wasn't him. It was the best friend."

"Oh, no way!"

Kate nodded, plopping herself beside him on the couch, "So, did she wake up at all?"

"Well, she wasn't so much asleep when I got here as she was bouncing on the couch and giggling. And then when she saw that it was me, she just got revved up again and wanted to play."

"Of course."

"She was down for the count a half hour later. Magic powers."

"You'll have to teach me that sometime." Kate knew her comeback was lacking its usual spark. She pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest, resting her head on her knees.

"You're tired." It was an unnecessary statement.

"It's been a really long month."

For once, Castle didn't have a witty reply. He placed a hand on her back and started rubbing in soothing circles.

Kate turned to rest her cheek so that she could look at Castle. "She started calling me mommy the other day."

"Did you not want her to?"

"I don't know." Kate sighed, "I mean, that's what Rosie refers to me as when she's talking to Zoey and I never really corrected her – she doesn't know the whole situation – but who am I really to Zoey? I'm not her mother."

"You adopted her. You took her in as your own," said Castle.

"I tried explaining to her what happened to Madison but she has no concept of what death means. The social worker told me that she kept looking for Maddie afterwards, wondering where her mother had gone. And then, of course, there was the crying – she probably thought people just disappear from her life just when she starts to get attached." Kate was trying to hold back tears. "Maddie loved her."

"Now, so do you."

Kate nodded, eyes now brimming. She knew that if she started crying, she wouldn't be able to stop. And she didn't want to cry. "Zoey relied on her and trusted her and Maddie had to go and get herself killed."

"Kate…"

"I know. That's not fair. I know, okay?"

When Castle pulled her towards him, engulfing her in a hug even while she tucked her own body closer together, she couldn't stop herself anymore. Her sobs were quiet but they shook her entire body and she ended up gasping for air.

Castle loosened his grip on her to let her take some deep breaths in.

"I miss her," she said, trying to control her shaky voice. "Maddie would've known how to get Zoey to bed without fussing and how to toilet-train her and what her favourite foods are."

Castle resumed drawing lazy circles on her back. "Look," he started, "Maybe you can try explaining things again when Zoey is older and starts to have a better understanding of what death means but right now? Right now you're doing a great job. And all of those other things, you'll learn." He pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Kate, you're not her mother but you have definitely become Zoey's mom. You have to earn that distinction and Zoey calling you mommy? It means she knows that you care for her and love her just as much as Madison did."

Kate peered up at him through bloodshot eyes. "Castle?" she sniffled.

"Yeah, Kate?"

"You're really good with words."

He chuckled, "Go figure."

There was a beat of silence as she laid her head back against his chest.

"And Castle?

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything."

"You know I'd do anything for you, Kate."

* * *

_A/N: Sigh. I had a crap day... :( Almost done, almost holidays, almost vacation time... (this is my daily mantra now)! _

_So, leave a girl some reviews, would you please?_


	4. WAS

**Chapter 4**

.

"Well, this is nice."

"It's a room filled with sick children, Castle."

"I didn't mean that part. I meant, you know, the elephant wallpaper and oo! _If I Ran A Zoo_! I used to have a first-edition copy of that book… I wonder where I put it –"

Castle's thoughts got cut off when Kate said, amused, "Look, you and a one-year-old seem to be attracted to the same things."

Zoey had run over to the tower of books when they had first arrived and after contemplating the options carefully, had decided to pick up the aforementioned Dr. Seuss book.

"Great minds think alike," Castle smirked.

"Rick!" Zoey had run back towards them. "Book!"

"Yeah, Zo," he said, "Do you want me to read it to you?"

Zoey nodded. Castle picked her up, flying her through the air and eliciting joyous shrieks before settling her on his arm.

"You guys go and sit," said Kate, "I have to check in with the receptionist."

"Sure."

Kate approached the front desk. "Hi," she said, "We have a 10 o'clock appointment with Dr. Myles. For Zoey Queller?"

"Have you been here before?"

"Yes. Dr. Myles has been Zoey's paediatrician since she was born but some of the personal information in the file has changed."

"Address and phone number?"

"Well, yes, but also the parental information."

The receptionist had looked slightly bored up until that point but at Kate's words, she looked up, suddenly interested in the conversation. "The parental information?"

"Yes. Zoey's mother passed away a couple of months ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

Kate nodded, never knowing whether or not to thank a stranger for offering their condolences. "I'm Kate Beckett. I adopted Zoey after the accident so we'll probably have to update all of that information."

"Yes, of course," the receptionist pulled out a clipboard with a stack of papers already attached. "Just get them back to me when you're done."

"Okay, thanks."

Kate walked slowly back to the chairs, eyes occupied with scanning the myriad of forms. Castle looked up from the book when she sat down beside them. "How does it look?"

"Extremely tedious," she replied. She flipped through the forms, "I really only need the first two. I mean, can't I just write that the medical history remains the same? Just scrawl it across all of these sheets?"

Castle shrugged, "I would."

Zoey, who was sitting in his lap, tilted her head back to look up at him. She jabbed the page with her finger. "Go," she commanded, "Read."

Castle kissed the top of Zoey's head. "You're so bossy," he chuckled and raised his eyebrows at Kate. "Reminds me of somebody else I know."

"You're just easy, Castle."

"Hey, I'm not complaining," his voice took on a suggestive quality, "I happen to like being dom—"

Kate held up a finger in warning. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence."

"Hi, um, excuse me?" a voice interrupted.

Kate and Castle looked up to see a young woman.

"Yes?" they both replied.

"I was just wondering, I mean, you look so familiar…" the woman was directing her gaze at Castle and Kate rolled her eyes and went back to filling out the forms. "…Are you Richard Castle?"

Castle grinned. "Why yes, I am. Are you a fan?"

The woman seemed to take that as an invitation to seat herself on the other side of Castle. "Huge fan!" she exclaimed. "I mean you are just way more handsome in person, Mr. Castle," she stuck out her hand, "Oh, my name's Amber by the way."

Kate put her hand over her mouth to cover a cough that sounded a whole lot like "of course it is".

Castle gave Kate an amused glance.

"I didn't know you had a daughter," Amber said, trying to catch Zoey's attention.

"Oh, I do have a daughter. Except she's in college." Castle gave Zoey a reassuring pat after she buried her head into the crook of his arm. "This is –"

"—She's _my_ daughter," Kate cut in, offering her own hand. "Hi, I'm Kate."

"Oh!" The girl feigned surprise as if she hadn't noticed Kate before that exact moment. "I didn't know… are you two together?"

Kate immediately scoffed, "No" just as Castle said, "Not really."

Amber was momentarily confused before replacing the grin on her face, "Well, you're really good with her. Maybe you could come over sometime and have a play-date with my nephew." She pointed across the room to a woman who looked slightly older and who was holding a boy who was clearly sick and clearly didn't want to be there. Amber directed the attention back at herself by presenting Castle with a card. "Call me," she said before sauntering away.

As soon as Amber was out of earshot, Kate hissed, "What kind of 'huge fan' doesn't know you have a daughter? She's clearly a fraud. And, how _old _is she? She could be in college with Alexis!"

"I wasn't going to call her," Castle said, clearly entertained by Kate's reaction.

Kate's pen was paused over one of the forms. "Can I put you down as Zoey's emergency contact or will you be too busy?" she asked him, eyes slightly defiant.

"I am _not _going to call her," Castle repeated. "Seriously, Kate. I haven't even gone out on a date for, I don't know, months."

"Well don't stop on my account."

Castle sighed, "Put me down as the emergency contact. What do they need me to provide?"

"Don't worry about it," said Kate, writing down all of his information by memory. She filled out the rest of the forms rapidly and was just about to get up when -

"Here," Castle said, handing her Amber's business card.

"Well, I don't want it," she said.

"Well, neither do I."

.

Castle was just finished measuring Zoey's height against the giraffe ruler on the wall when there was a knock at the door. A nurse stepped in who looked young enough to still be in high school.

"Hello," he said, "My name is Peter and I'm going to give Zoey her vaccinations before Dr. Myles examines her."

"Where do you want her?" Kate asked.

"Up on the exam table, please," he said as he took some vials out of a tray. "It might be better if one of you holds her in your lap."

"I'll do it," said Kate. The paper scrunched beneath her as she and Zoey sat down on the exam table. "Okay, Zoey, do you remember what we told you when we came in here?"

Zoey nodded warily. "Needle."

"Yup," said Castle, voice as cheerful as he could make it. "But while the nurse is helping you stay healthy, we can blow bubbles." Castle dug through Zoey's backpack until he found the green bottle. He directed Zoey's attention away from what the nurse was doing by telling a story about purple birds and double rainbows. Zoey was too busy giggling to notice when Peter swabbed her arm with antiseptic.

At Peter's nod, Castle unscrewed the _Miracle Bubbles_ bottle. "Do you remember how to make bubbles, Zo?"

Zoey nodded, smiling. "It's fun!"

"Okay, so first you have to take a deep breath."

Zoey breathed in.

"And then you blow out," Castle said, holding the soapy wand just in front of her lips.

When Zoey blew out, Peter gave her the needle. Zoey's eyes widened at the pinch.

"Keep going Zo, there's still more bubbles on the wand," said Castle, with encouragement.

Kate held Zoey calmly, one arm wrapped loosely around her stomach – she knew that if she felt tense, Zoey would sense it.

Castle and Peter repeated the same process for two more vaccines. Zoey didn't cry once.

"You did really well, Zo," said Kate as the nurse put a _Sesame Street_ band-aid on her left arm.

"You were awesome!" Castle exclaimed, lifting Zoey up so that Kate could hop off the exam table.

"That really was awesome," said Peter, sounding impressed. "Very few parents are so calm and collected themselves let alone their children."

"Experience," said Castle.

"You two have another kid?" Peter asked.

"Oh!" said Kate, "We're not—"

"—Together," Castle finished with amusement and then added, "Well, not really."

"Uh huh." Peter smiled knowingly, "I'll go tell the doctor that Zoey's all set."

Peter left the room and Kate whirled around to face Castle. "Okay, seriously, what was that?"

"What was what?" he answered.

"Not _really_?"

.

"Nothing to worry about, Ms. Beckett. Zoey has a clean bill of health," said Dr. Myles with a smile. She was standing off to the side with Kate. "She's within the normal range for height and weight and the behavioural problems you mentioned are completely natural for a child adjusting to such a big change in her life. Just make sure to keep Zoey following a normal routine – sleeping and eating at the same times every day, things like that. Do you have any other questions?"

"I think I'm good." Kate looked over her shoulder at where Castle was letting Zoey scribble on the exam table's piece of paper. "Is it okay that they're doing that?"

"It's perfectly fine. We have to rip off that piece anyway for the next patient." The doctor laughed. "I think he's the first person to let their child use exam table paper for an art project."

"Castle's a real trailblazer that way," Kate replied sardonically.

"Were you already together when you adopted Zoey?"

"What do you mean? Oh! You mean _together _together?" Kate shook her head. "He's not my – we're not dating."

Dr. Myles didn't quite look like she believed Kate but she only said, "Well, he's really good with her."

Kate smiled. "Yeah, he really is."

"Is that a compliment I hear?" Castle sidled up beside them, holding a multi-coloured Zoey in his arms.

"Jeez, did she get any on the actual paper?" Kate asked as she tried to rub off streaks of _blue lagoon _and _flamingo pink_ from her arms.

"Yes, she did. Check this out." Castle handed her a section of the paper where "_I love you, mommy_" was written amongst a mass of colourful scribbles.

Kate's mouth dropped open slightly and tears suddenly threatened to blur her vision.

Castle was grinning. "I didn't prompt her or anything, I swear. I asked her what she wanted to say to you and I merely transcribed the words. Except, I added the 'mommy' part. You know, so you don't accidentally give me all the credit."

"Aw, Zoey!" Kate lifted Zoey from Castle's arms and gave her a big hug. "Did you say 'I love you'?"

Zoey nodded and gave Kate a loud kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

"See?" said Castle.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, Zo?"

"I want cookie."

"Ha! She really knows how to play you, Beckett." Castle shook his head in admiration, "This kid's a genius."

* * *

_A/N: Not to toot my own horn here, but this just might be one of my favourite chapters so far. Except maybe the end. I'm not sure about the end. _

_REVIEW! S'il vous plaît!_


	5. A

**Chapter 5**

.

"Who was that?" Castle asked as a young woman scurried past him having just exited the interrogation room.

Kate leaned against the doorframe. "I'm interviewing nannies."

"In _there_?"

"Yeah."

"You'll freak them out!"

"That's kinda the point, Castle," said Kate. "I can't have just anybody looking after my kid."

"You're mentally unscrewed, Beckett."

"Oh really?" Kate countered, "And exactly how many times have you had me run background checks on Alexis' boyfriends?"

Castle opened his mouth. Then shut it.

"Point made." Kate triumphantly walked back towards her desk and plopped down in the chair.

"Why do you need to interview nannies anyway?" Castle sat down as well. "What's wrong with Rosie?"

"Nothing. If I want to move to Sarasota."

"Oh."

"Exactly. She's leaving next month but she's only working until next Wednesday."

"And she only told you this now?"

"Well, no…" Kate said, with chagrin. "She told me a while ago but I didn't have time to do interviews and then I kind of debated whether or not to just take Zoey to a daycare. But I have such weird hours and she's so young and still so shy around strangers. I feel guilty just thinking about doing that." Kate leaned back in her chair and let out a groan. "This is a disaster."

There was a gap of silence and then, "Why don't you let me look after Zoey?"

Kate sat back up so fast, she felt a little dizzy. Castle actually looked serious. "What?" she said stupidly.

"I was Alexis' nanny from the time she was born and she managed to turn out just fine. Or," he paused, "it could just be a fluke. Either way, I can't test out my theory without a new guinea pig."

"What about your writing?"

"I can do that at home. In fact, home is where I get most of my work done. What a surprise, right?"

"But, with a toddler running around?"

Castle grinned, "The house has gotten too quiet now that Alexis is off at Yale and my mother decided to move clear across the country with her new husband. Besides, Zoey can't possibly be more distracting than _Halo_."

"You're really being serious?"

"And you wouldn't even have to pay me."

"Castle, that's –"

He held up a hand to cut her off. "You've never let me give you any royalties from the Nikki Heat books. Consider this payback for letting me follow you around and for not shooting me when I wouldn't listen to your orders."

Kate bit her bottom lip. "You'd no longer be following me around if you decide to take care of Zoey all day."

"I love Zoey more than I love gruesome murders," he quipped.

"Real nice, Castle."

"She's also way more fun than those stuffy CSU guys."

"You're willing to revoke your all-access pass to the NYPD?" Kate teased.

Castle smiled, "I haven't had to use my connections with the mayor for a while now. You guys just let me hang around because I can be surprisingly useful."

Kate opened her mouth to protest.

"Admit it," said Castle, "I'm like an honorary member of the 12th precinct's homicide department."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Well, what about your research?"

"I have enough material to write a hundred Nikki Heat books." Castle suddenly looked so intently at her that she couldn't look away if she tried. "We both know that I'm not following you around for research purposes anymore, Kate."

Two beats of silence and then Kate started to feel increasingly uncomfortable. She dropped her gaze. "Zoey has a lot of fun with you. She really trusts you." Kate thought her voice sounded strange all of a sudden. She cleared her throat. "Just, as long as you're sure…"

"I'm sure," said Castle with a huge grin. "Call off the Nanny Inquisition."

.

"So, I heard you and writer boy are playing house."

"From who?"

"So you're not denying it?"

"Lanie, I don't know what you heard –"

"—and really, why is it that you aren't telling me these things yourself? Why must a girl's best friend be the last person in on the gossip?"

"We are not playing house, Lanie. Castle's just looking after Zoey for me while I'm at work."

"Which is every day."

"Well, not _every_ day."

"It might as well be with the hours you put in."

"You make me sound like such a bad mother."

"You're not. You're a great mother."

"Thank you."

"And Castle's a great father."

"Well yeah, I guess he is. Alexis is doing really well at Yale."

"I'm referring more to his newly acquired daughter."

"Oh, jeez."

"Zoey really likes him."

"She's a year and half. She likes everybody."

"Nuh-uh. Not the same way that she likes Castle. She seems to adore him just as much as she adores you."

"Zoey's just shy."

"But not with Castle."

"Well, Castle's not a stranger. And she spends a lot of time with him."

"And why is that?"

"Lanie, Castle's like a child himself! Of course a toddler would like that."

"That didn't really answer my question."

"Look, Castle is just filling in the nanny role that Rosie, who I was perfectly happy with by the way, vacated."

"But, you're not paying him."

"How did you—"

"I have my sources. So? What about the manny services?"

"Manny?"

"Male nanny."

"Ookay."

"How do you not know what a manny is?"

"Now I do."

"Okay. So?"

"So?"

"Castle's not charging you?"

"He says it's payback for interfering with my work all these years."

"Riight. Except, let's be honest here, you didn't really mind the interfering."

"I did that time I almost got shot!"

"You seem to be more worried about _him _getting shot."

"Well, I'd have a million fangirls chasing me down the street if that happened."

"'Cause it has nothing to do with the way you feel about him."

"I don't feel anything for him!"

"Oh, really?"

"Well, obviously, not _nothing_. But it's not the kind of feelings I think you're thinking of."

"And what kind of feelings are those?"

"…"

"You can't even say it!"

"Because there's nothing to say!"

"You're in denial."

"Okay, can we just get back to the point? I don't even know what the point was anymore."

"You said writer boy's just acting like a nanny and I think writer boy's acting like a daddy."

"He's just helping me out as a friend."

"So, now he's a friend?"

"Of course he's a friend. He's a friend like you and I are friends."

"Uh, no."

"Okay, like Esposito and Ryan are my friends."

"Wrong again."

"You can't tell me I'm wrong. It's my opinion."

"And your opinion is…"

"There is nothing going on between Castle and I."

"Except friendship."

"Right."

"But he's also helping you raise your daughter."

"No, _I'm _raising my daughter."

"But she sees him as much as she sees you."

"…yes."

"So, it's like joint custody."

"No!"

"Girl, no matter how much I love you, I would _not _want to take care of somebody else's child day in and day out for an indeterminate amount of time."

"So, you're saying he pities me?"

"No, I'm saying he genuinely loves Zoey."

"Maybe. That's possible."

"No, that wasn't a question. I'm stating that as a fact. Zoey's like… Alexis' little sister or something."

"I don't think—"

"—Well I do."

"This conversation is going in circles."

"Kate, how long has it been since you've been on a date?"

"Lanie, I just landed myself a daughter less than a year ago and I still work full-time. I don't have enough hours in the day as it is; do you really think I have time to _date_?"

"Okay, fair enough. But, let me ask you this: how long has it been since _Castle's_ been on a date?"

"How am I supposed to know! I don't keep track."

"Oh, you _so_ do."

"Lanie."

"Let's just say, for argument's sake, that he hasn't."

"I didn't know we were having a debate."

"So, he hasn't been dating and you _definitely_ haven't been dating."

"Did you even hear me?"

"Just let me get this straight one more time."

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

"Castle voluntarily and without complaint lets you wake him up at the crack of dawn every morning or at whatever absurd hour you get up. You go over to his house and he looks after your daughter for the entire day, playing with her and feeding her and teaching her the ABCs, while you work. And then at night, after you're done work, you go back to his house."

"To _pick up my daughter_. I go back to his house to pick up my daughter. You seem to have left out that part."

"And you seem to have something wrong in that brain of yours – those neurons must not have been wired together properly because everybody else besides you, and apparently writer boy, can see what's going on here."

"And what's that?"

"You're playing house. Except, you know, without the sex. Which is a damn shame."

* * *

_A/N: I kind of really enjoyed just writing dialogue for, like, four pages… I hope I didn't confuse you guys with my complete lack of dialogue tags… Anywho, Alexis will be in the next chapter. Who's excited?_

_P.S. I know I haven't been replying to each and every one of you but I just wanted to let you guys know that I've really, _really _been loving and appreciating all of your reviews! It makes me more accountable and keeps me updating my stories since I know that there are actual people reading! :) Gracias a todas y todos!_


	6. COMPASS

**Chapter 6**

.

Kate used her key to open the door to the loft and was greeted with the wonderful scent of freshly baked cookies. She smiled as she walked into the kitchen but it immediately dropped off her face when she saw the scene in front of her. "Oh my god."

"Oh, hey Kate. You're early."

"How did you even manage to—" Kate gestured to the kitchen, which was now covered in a fine dusting of white flour. Zoey was sitting on the counter, happily chewing a chocolate chip cookie. She was also covered in flour and cocoa powder as well as… "Is that dough in her hair?"

Castle, who was standing in front of the counter to make sure Zoey didn't fall off, tilted his head and tugged at a clump. "Huh. I guess it is."

"Mommy! We make cookies!" Zoey told her cheerfully.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"I was going to clean this up and give her a bath before you got here," he looked at the clock. "Why are you here? It's only four."

Kate took off her coat and dropped it, along with her purse, on the living room couch. "We solved the case and Montgomery told us to leave and enjoy our weekend."

"You wanted to finish the paperwork, didn't you?"

Kate huffed. "_Yes_. I mean, it can wait until Monday but I just hate leaving a case unfinished."

"But you caught the guy."

"Well, yeah. I just mean, all the other stuff." Kate shrugged and then surveyed the mess once again. "I am _not_ putting Zoey in my car looking like Frosty the Snowman."

"I could give her a bath."

"No," said Kate. "Why don't you clean all of this—" she gestured to the kitchen as a whole, "—up and _I'll_ give her a bath."

Castle grinned. "We had a lot of fun."

"Flour fight!" Zoey exclaimed.

"Well, that explains it," Kate said dryly. She started to unbutton her blouse.

"Uh, Kate," Castle stammered. "Not that I don't want to see you naked but what are you doing?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I have a camisole underneath, Castle. I don't want to ruin yet another work shirt."

"Right. Yeah, that makes sense." He was still stammering.

Kate threw her blouse on the couch next to the rest of her things. "Can you bring Zoey over here?" she asked. "I really don't want to step in there."

Kate ended up holding Zoey as far away from herself as she could manage. Zoey thought it was the most amusing thing in the world, swinging her legs back and forth while being dangled in the air.

"You know where everything is," said Castle as she was walking up the stairs.

.

Castle finished cleaning up the kitchen and took a quick shower himself before making his way into the guest bathroom. He still heard Zoey's happy shrieks from the other side of the door. He knocked lightly.

"Come in," Kate called.

He stepped into the room and witnessed Zoey trying to squirt water at Kate with a plastic blue whale. By the looks of it, she had already succeeded multiple times before. "I thought you guys would be done by now," he said.

Kate chuckled, "She wouldn't get out."

Castle grabbed a couple of towels from the cupboard and tried to wipe some of the water that had splashed out onto the floor. "Are you waiting until the water gets cold?" he asked.

Kate raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

He sat down next to her and leaned against the edge of the porcelain tub. "I do the same thing."

"Rick! Look!" Zoey grabbed at Castle and ended up soaking a part of his sleeve. "Fishies." She was holding a toy rod and had just managed to hook one of the plastic floating fish.

"That's really good, Zo," he said.

"These bath toys are great," Kate spoke up, "The water drum and the magnetic letters and numbers on the tiles to help her spell… when did you get all of this stuff?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "A lot of them I kept from when Alexis was little and some I just bought because they looked cool and I wanted to see how they worked."

He was glad when Kate laughed at his comment instead of asking him more questions. In truth, Alexis had done a massive spring-cleaning several years ago and gotten rid of most of her toys from her toddler days. Only her treasured stuffed animals remained.

When Zoey started splashing around in earnest, Kate said, "Okay, I think bath time is over."

She lifted Zoey out of the tub and onto the tiled floor where Castle was ready with a towel. Zoey was chattering on about their day but Castle couldn't help but pay attention to Kate instead. She was just as engaged and animate as her daughter and her movements were quick and efficient so that Zoey wouldn't get cold. It was an entirely different side of Kate that Castle loved seeing and that he _only_ saw when she was around her daughter. He knew it was a privilege that she let him be a part of this side of her life at all.

"See something you like, Castle?" Kate said, eyebrow quirked up, when she realised how quiet he had been. It was only then that he noticed she was leaning forward to help Zoey put on her t-shirt.

He could very clearly see down her tank top.

And the lacy red bra she was wearing.

"Now I do," he replied with a smirk.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Castle."

"Kate, you could be wearing a full-on space suit and my mind would still be in the gutter," he teased and he thought he saw her blush a little. "Don't forget, I have an _excellent _imagination."

.

There was a quick knock at his study door before a familiar face poked her head in.

"Alexis! I didn't even hear you come in!" Castle stood up to give her a quick hug. "So, tell me. How many keggers did you go to this year?"

Alexis rolled her eyes, "Dad."

"Wait. I thought you were coming home tomorrow. I was going to pick you up at the station with balloons!"

"Well, that was the plan. But, I finished my finals yesterday and I thought it would take me a lot longer to pack up my dorm room. And James was leaving today anyway, so I just got a ride with him and Elise."

"And how is the boyfriend?" Castle said in his best stern father voice.

"You met him, dad. You know he's not a thief or a murderer."

"Yes," he said with a grin, "But I just don't trust those Canadians."

Alexis chuckled. "He's not going back to Toronto this summer. He got a job at a law firm in the city. That's why he was coming back with me."

"Did you bring home a lot of things? Need any help?"

"No, that's okay, dad. It's not really that much. Mostly clothes and books."

"Ah, the collegiate life."

Alexis suddenly wrapped her arms around Castle, squeezing tightly. "I really missed you, dad," she said.

Castle smiled, "I missed you too, pumpkin. I'm glad you're home for the summer."

Alexis gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to go unpack."

Castle went back to his writing and heard the occasional grunt from Alexis as she dragged a suitcase up the stairs. Less than five minutes later, she reappeared at his door.

"Uh, dad?" she said, a look of confusion on her face. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why is there a child sleeping in the guestroom? Do I have a long-lost sister that I don't know about?"

"Not that I know of," Castle chuckled, "No, that's Zoey. She's Beckett's daughter. Remember? I told you about her."

"Oh! Yeah, I remember. So, what are you doing? Baby-sitting for her today?"

"Well… yes… but, not just for today."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been looking after Zoey while Beckett is at work."

Alexis' lips quirked up into a tiny smile, "So, you're like her nanny?"

"Sort of… I guess?"

"And how long have you been doing this?"

"What is it? May?" Castle looked at his computer screen to check and then shrugged. "A couple of months, probably."

Alexis nodded knowingly. She wasn't an idiot. She knew how her dad felt about Beckett and apparently the feelings were mutual since Beckett was entrusting him with the care of her daughter. "How come you didn't tell me?" she asked.

"Well, when you call me, I want to hear how _you're_ doing. And the weekends you've been home, Zoey hasn't been here so I guess it just never crossed my mind." Castle's expression suddenly became one of concern. "Are you not okay with it? She's probably going to be here for a little while longer."

Alexis smiled at the fact that her dad didn't specify what 'a little while longer' actually meant. "No, that's totally fine," Alexis answered, "I've been wanting to meet her."

"She's been pointing to pictures of you and asking who you are," Castle said.

"Aw, she sounds really cute."

.

When Zoey woke up from her nap, Alexis was the one who heard her since she was still in her own room sorting out books. Alexis debated whether or not to get her dad but Zoey was already wandering out into the hallway, rubbing at her eyes.

Alexis shuffled some papers just as Zoey walked past her open door so that the little girl wouldn't be surprised at her presence. Zoey turned to see where the noise had come from and her eyes only widened slightly at seeing another human being.

"Hello," Alexis said, still sitting on the floor. She thought it would be better if Zoey chose to walk towards her first. She could see the little girl examining her and Zoey must have decided that Alexis was harmless because she started to pad slowly into her room.

"What's your name?" Alexis asked, wanting to see if she would respond.

After a slight pause, Alexis heard a whispered, "Zoey."

"Do you want to sit next to me, Zoey?" Alexis patted the empty space on the carpet.

Zoey didn't respond verbally but she did make her way over to Alexis, plopping down next to her. Her grey eyes stared intently at this new stranger. And then, as if remembering, Zoey turned her head towards Alexis' desk and pointed at a picture of her and Castle. "Picture!" she said.

"Yup, that's me. My name is Alexis." Alexis laughed a little when Zoey tried to repeat her name and failed humorously. "How about 'Lexi'?" she suggested, thinking it sounded close enough to the little girl's own name.

"Le-xi," Zoey repeated.

"Yup! You got it." Alexis held out her palm for a high five and to her surprise Zoey gave her one.

"Hey," said Castle, whose smiling figure suddenly appeared in the doorway. "I thought I heard my two favourite girls."

"Lexi," Zoey said again, pointing to Alexis.

Castle grinned. "Well, my darling daughter, it seems as though you've already charmed her with your wiles."

"What can I say?" said Alexis, "It's a family trait."

* * *

_A/N: Okay, confession? That first baking cookies/bath time scene was just gratuitous fluff that really did absolutely nothing to advance the plot (well, I suppose it could be like 'look how C/B's relationship is developing…') but honestly, I just really wanted to write fluff. Does anybody want to file a complaint? No? How about a review, then?_


	7. YOU'D

**Chapter 7**

.

The trill of Kate's cellphone woke her up. She glanced at the time and the caller and groaned. "Castle, it's my day off," she answered, without preamble.

"Happy 4th of July!" His voice on the other end sounded irritatingly chipper. "Now open up. We're outside."

"_We_?"

When she swung open her front door, she saw Castle standing behind Alexis, using her as a human shield. "Just look at this adorable face and tell me how you could still be mad at me," he said.

"I'm still mad at you," said Kate dryly. "Alexis, I'm happy to see since I'm sure it wasn't her idea to come and wake me up at 6:30 in the morning on my day off."

Castle had already wormed his way into her apartment, bustling around the kitchen to make her a cup of coffee. He knew that would be the only way to get back into her good graces.

"Well… it was partly my idea," said Alexis, sheepishly. She held out her own consolation gift to Kate – bagels and lox. "They're _really_ fresh."

Kate rolled her eyes at the two equally mischievous yet annoyingly endearing Castles. "All right," she said, taking the box and heading to the kitchen herself, "What do you guys want?"

Zoey chose that moment to poke her head out of her bedroom and upon seeing the visitors, excitedly made her way over to join them still clad in her footed onesie. "Lexi!" she said, wrapping her arms around one of Alexis' legs.

"Do you get the feeling that Zoey likes her better than us now?" said Castle to Kate.

"Well, Alexis lets Zoey play with her hair. Would you be willing to wear pretty pink ribbons in your hair, Castle?"

Castle popped a couple of sliced bagels into the toaster and pretended to consider Kate's question. "If you could guarantee that there would be no taking of pictures and it wouldn't be used against me? Absolutely."

Kate grinned. "I'll remember you said that."

"Mommy," said Zoey, now looking up at Kate, "Swimming!"

"What?" Kate responded, confused.

"Oh right. Our plan."

"What plan, Castle?"

"Dad and I sort of have a 4th of July tradition…" started Alexis.

"…We drive to Montauk and spend the day at the beach," said Castle, "Swim, build sand castles, watch the fireworks, gorge ourselves on ice-cream and junk food, you know – typical 4th of July fare."

Kate chuckled. "Right."

"So, this year, we wanted you and Zo to come," finished Alexis.

"It's gorgeous outside today and Zoey would have a lot of fun," said Castle, already seeing Kate's scepticism.

"And I would really enjoy the company…" Alexis said with a hopeful smile. "Especially because Grams and Paige couldn't join us this year."

"I—"

Castle cut in before Kate could say anything. "—Listen, Kate. What else could you possibly have planned today?"

.

"Castle, what are you doing in here?" Kate was rummaging around in her dresser for her swimsuit.

He plopped himself on her bed and then, at her glare, opted to lean against her desk. "I'm helping you pack."

"I don't need help packing," she said, "Why don't you go help Alexis with Zoey?"

"Oh, Alexis doesn't need any help," said Castle with a grin, "She's a pro with Zoey, now. She's been staying at home a lot, hanging out with Zo more than I have been sometimes."

"Oh, I know," said Kate. She triumphantly dug out a one-piece from the bottom of her drawer and then scrunched her nose up at how faded it was. Castle was secretly pleased – hoping that she had a slightly more risqué suit.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"You do know that Alexis talks to me, right?"

"About Zoey?"

"Yes. And also about other things—" Kate waved her hand around, "You know."

Castle crossed his arms, "Uh, _no_. I don't know. Does she tell you things that she doesn't tell me?"

"Well, that depends," said Kate, "I don't know what she tells you."

"What does she tell _you_?"

Kate smirked. "I can't tell you that."

"Is it about the boy?" Castle asked suspiciously.

"Maybe."

And then his eyes widened, "Oh my god, do you two talk about _me_?"

Her voice took on a teasing quality. "Maybe."

"Okay, that's just unfair," Castle huffed. "She's my daughter! I mean, you would tell me if she started doing drugs, right? Even if it's just, you know, the gateway ones."

Kate shook her head, amused. "Do you really think I would be okay with Alexis taking drugs even if she _did_ decide to share that information with me? I mean, besides the fact that I'm a _cop_ and they're _illegal_."

"Okay. You've got a point…" Castle's eye caught the blue scrap of fabric that Kate was about to toss aside. "Wear that one," he said immediately.

Kate rolled her eyes. "It's way too inappropriate. I bought it with Lanie as a joke to wear to the Caribbean with—" she cut herself off, clearly she was about to say the name of an ex-boyfriend but she didn't want Castle to know exactly _who_, in case he decided to use it against her later.

But, Castle only seemed to have heard the part of it being 'inappropriate'. "Did you end up wearing it?"

"No!" said Kate, "It's barely even a bikini."

"I can be the judge of that," said Castle, now incredibly intrigued. "Put it on."

"I thought we were in a rush."

"Not for this—" Castle stopped himself and amended, "—I mean, Alexis and Zoey are going to take forever."

Kate recognized an opportunity to mess with Castle's head when she saw it. "You want me to wear it for you?" she asked, a dangerous glint in her eye.

"…Yes."

"Close the bedroom door."

"You're going to change in front of me?" Castle squeaked.

Kate grinned and pointed to the adjoining washroom. "No, but I don't want our _children_ seeing what this—" she dangled the bikini "—looks like."

Castle gulped and diligently got up to shut the door as Kate disappeared into her bathroom. He rested himself back onto her desk as casually as possible. Just as he was about to place his palms on either side of him, she walked out and the shock caused his hands to slip off the desk. He stood up immediately.

Kate had been right. The thing was barely a bikini. Hell, it was barely _anything_. The bottoms sat low on her hips, the back basically a thong, with the whole thing tied together with string that could have been easily undone with one tug from him. His gaze wandered up her toned midsection to the top, which was tied at the neck and covered just enough of her breasts that she couldn't be arrested for public indecency.

Kate actually felt a little embarrassed by the attention now that she had followed through on what was supposed to make _Castle_ feel uncomfortable. But, the way he was looking at her – because he wasn't staring or gawking which, strangely, would have made it easier – made her feel sexy and incredibly wanted. She cleared her throat and tried to sound teasingly seductive. "So," she said. "Isn't it inappropriate?"

Castle took several steps until he was less than a foot away from her. Before he could stop himself, his left hand reached out to her waist and pulled her to close the remaining distance. She gasped, whether at the action or merely his cold hands, he wasn't sure.

Her skin felt hot under the pads of his fingers as he travelled up her side. He hit the edge of her top and followed the string around her back until his arm was wrapped fully around her. He leaned forward and breathed against her ear, "It's _completely _inappropriate." Before he pulled back, he inhaled deeply to absorb her intoxicating scent and felt her shiver against him.

His hands started to trail off of her body but before they slid off completely, his eyes met hers and he said in a low, even tone, "You are _exquisite_."

He had to leave the room after that or else _he _would have ended up doing something completely inappropriate.

.

"Do you want to go back in the water, Zo?" Castle asked. The four of them were sitting underneath two giant beach umbrellas – Alexis on a towel and Kate and Castle on chairs. They were just finishing up their lunch and Zoey was digging her sixth hole in the sand, clearly getting restless.

"Yes." Zoey nodded enthusiastically. At first, she had been a little reluctant to go near the water but after building sand castles and walking around searching for seashells for a couple of hours, she had gotten braver.

Kate had had no idea that Castle had bought water wings and a whole bunch of inflatable swim tubes and floats for Zoey. She hadn't believed him when he had said that they had been used to help Alexis learn how to swim even if Alexis hadn't been shaking her head and mouthing 'no' behind his back.

"Come here, Zo," Kate said now, "We have to put on some more sunblock."

After Zoey had been sufficiently slathered, Castle stopped Kate from getting up. "I'll go," he said, "I'm already done. You should stay and finish your lunch."

Alexis sat down onto the Castle's vacated chair when he left with Zoey. "If it weren't for my dad, I would never have learned how to swim," she said to Kate.

"Did he teach you how to swim?"

"No, I took lessons. But my mom was terrified of the water – she still doesn't know how to swim." Alexis smiled, "Dad just taught me not to be afraid."

Kate looked out to the calm area of shallow water where Castle had taken Zoey. He rarely let go of her but even when he did, she was always less than an arm's length away. Zoey looked like she was having a blast, splashing around and laughing when Castle used a tiny bucket to pour water on her. He bent down his head and let her pour water on him afterwards, which only made her want to splash him over and over again. Kate looked back at Alexis. "He was probably very good at encouraging you to be fearless," she finally replied.

A comfortable silence fell between them as Kate settled back into the book she had brought with her and Alexis listened to her music while working on a crossword.

"Hey Kate?" Alexis said, suddenly interrupting the quiet.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Kate marked her spot on the page with her finger and looked up. When Alexis lifted her sunglasses up to rest them on her head and Kate saw the seriousness in her eyes, she put her bookmark in and put it down, instead. "What is it?" she asked.

Alexis started to fuss with a strand of her red hair but Kate waited her out, patiently sitting through the silence instead of pressuring her to continue. It was the complete opposite of how she normally interrogated suspects but Kate used to be a teenage girl and she remembered how quickly teenage girls clammed up when provoked.

"Do… can you…" Alexis took a deep breath and then blurted out, "IthinkIneedagynecologist."

Kate nodded slowly as her brain quickly jumped from possible STIs to pregnancy. She knew it probably wasn't either.

Sure enough, her "is something wrong?" was followed by Alexis vehemently shaking her head, "I just thought, you know, that I should probably go get an examination…"

"You haven't gotten one before?" Kate asked.

"Well, I haven't really needed to," Alexis cleared her throat uncomfortably, "And I kind of wanted to get a prescription too… my family doctor is a guy and he's also friends with dad so I didn't want to ask him about…"

"…birth control pills?" Kate finished.

Alexis nodded gratefully that Kate had caught on. "Don't tell my dad, okay?"

"Of course not. Besides, it's not really mine to tell."

"I mean, he would freak out if he knew I was having sex."

"Alexis, your dad's not stupid, I'm sure that he suspects," Kate quirked her lips, "But you're right, he would probably like to remain ignorant for as long as he can help it."

"Definitely." Alexis grinned, knowing Kate would understand.

"And I can give you the number of my doctor," said Kate, "You'll like her. She's really nice and I guarantee she won't make you feel embarrassed when you start asking her a ton of questions."

Alexis smiled. "Thanks, Kate." She paused for a second before finally asking tentatively, "Do you think that you could come with me? It would be my first time and I'm kind of nervous about what to expect."

"Of course I can," Kate responded without hesitation.

Alexis nodded and then sat back in the beach chair looking relieved. After a beat, she slid her sunglasses back into place and went back to listening to her iPod.

Kate smiled. She and Alexis had gotten a lot closer since the start of the summer and she was happy that the girl had decided to trust her. Kate understood, first hand, how hard it could be to not have a mom around when you wanted to talk about such sensitive topics. She was glad that she could at least be Alexis' confidante although it also made Kate feel good that by playing this role in her life, she could also make sure that Alexis was being safe and staying well informed.

Castle's voice broke through her reverie and she looked up to see him making his way back to their spot with a shivering Zoey in his arms. Kate sat up and reached for a towel. "Aw Zo, are you cold?"

"Little," she answered, teeth chattering.

Kate dried her off as quickly as possible and wrapped her up in the towel. She pulled Zoey onto her lap, rubbing the side of her arms to warm her up. Castle was seated beside them, flicking little droplets of water onto her body when he grabbed for his own towel.

"You had a lot of fun, didn't you?" Castle said to Zoey as he rubbed his towel through her dripping brown hair. Kate was still in her bikini top, albeit much more demure than the first one she had tried on for him, and wherever his skin met hers, a line of goose bumps would appear. She hoped he didn't notice.

He did. Zoey was leaning back on Kate's shoulder and Castle used the pretence of untangling Zo's curly tendrils with his fingers just so he could have an excuse to brush his fingers down Kate's neck.

Alexis chose that time to poke her head between the two adults. "Can we go get ice-cream now?"

* * *

_A/N: Just to forewarn you (or make you more intrigued?), the rating for this story will officially be bumped up to a 'T' in three more chapters. But, for now, I'll leave it where it is (since there was really only that one bit in this chapter that was _slightly_ more suggestive…)_

___Also, to those who celebrate: Happy Christmas! (And to those who don't, I apologize for the lack of update until after the holidays... but I will do my best to keep it as close to my usual updating schedule as usual!)_

_Would any of you care to leave me a nice little present in the form of a REVIEW? :) J'espère que oui!_


	8. BE

**Chapter 8**

.

"Hello?"

Kate walked into the suspiciously quiet Castle residence. She placed her keys on the counter and was just about to wander upstairs when she heard a distinct giggle coming from Castle's study. She pushed open the door and was impressed to find it transformed into a gigantic fort.

"We're in here, Kate," said Alexis, poking her head up from the far end of the bookshelf.

Kate took off her shoes and crawled towards the voices, passing various sectioned off 'rooms' and colourful decorations. "Were you trying to hide from me?" Kate asked when she finally reached the pair.

Zoey giggled and nodded.

"Well, I probably wouldn't have found you if _somebody _hadn't been giggling," Kate tickled Zoey, causing her to burst into peals of laughter. "C'mere, silly girl," she said laughingly, pulling Zoey into her lap.

"Have you been here all day?" Kate asked Alexis.

"Yeah, I didn't really want to go outside today – it's _so _hot," Alexis answered, "So, Zo and I decided to build a fort."

"This is really one amazing fort," said Kate.

"Dad's a pro. When I was little, he used to make the best forts."

"Where _is_ your dad?" Kate asked.

"Oh, he went out to pick up some ice cream. We ran out."

"You suddenly had a craving for Ben & Jerry's _Cherry Garcia_?"

"Yup," Alexis grinned, "I told dad to pick up _Brownie Batter_, too. That's your favourite, right?"

Kate laughed, "Yes."

Just then, they heard the front door open and close.

"Hi Kate!" Castle yelled, having spotted her shoes and then just as loudly, he asked, "Alexis, are we foregoing bowls?"

"Yes! Just grab spoons, dad," Alexis yelled back.

"ICE CREAM!" Zoey said as loud as she could manage, trying to imitate their yelling.

Castle crawled into their little nook a minute later, armed with three different kinds of flavours and four spoons. "It's eight o'clock and it _still_ feels like a thousand degrees out there," he said, wriggling in the confined space until he could sit cross-legged comfortably.

"Try running after a suspect in it," replied Kate, wryly.

Kate took the _Brownie Batter _carton out of the bag while Castle was jabbing at the vanilla to try and get a spoonful for Zoey.

"What do you say?" Kate asked Zoey once Castle was triumphant.

"Thank you," she mumbled, spoon already in her mouth.

"You're welcome," Castle answered.

Kate took another couple of spoonfuls before asking Castle, "Do you want to trade? I could help Zo."

"No way. I've already carved out a promising hole. Besides," he looked at Kate, eyes glinting mischievously, "I like _cherry_."

Alexis' eyes flicked back and forth between the two adults who looked like they were having an intense staring contest. "Did I miss something?"

"Nope," said Kate, a little too cheerily.

They went back to discussing the day and eating ice cream until they all felt a little sick. They ended up lying side by side, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars hanging above them.

"Mommy?" Zoey was cuddled up against Kate and she wriggled a little to look at her, "Sleep here?"

"Where?" asked Kate, drowsily.

"Fort."

"You want to sleep in the fort?"

"With Lexi."

"Uh yeah," said Alexis, who was lying beside her, "She's been asking about that all day. Having a sleepover in the fort."

"I don't think that's a good idea…" said Kate. "We should probably just go home."

"Please, please," Zoey begged.

"She can totally stay," said Alexis. "I don't mind. And it's actually really comfortable in here. We just need a few more blankets."

"But then tomorrow I have to come back and pick her up…" Kate had the day off on Sundays.

"You can stay too." Castle's voice drifted over from the other side of Alexis.

"We're all going to sleep in here?" Kate asked, amused.

"Well, I'm not," said Castle, "As much as I love sleeping on the floor, my bones are old and require a mattress."

Alexis laughed. "You can stay in the guest bedroom, Kate."

"Or in my room," Castle quipped, "Whichever you prefer."

"Dad!"

"Castle!"

"That was scary the way you both said that at the same time," said Castle.

"So?" Alexis prompted. "Are you guys staying?"

"Please mommy." Zoey pushed her face close to Kate's, innocent grey eyes staring pleadingly at her.

"Yeah, please mommy," Castle echoed in the same tone.

Kate rolled her eyes. "You guys are incorrigible."

"I don't think Zoey knows what that means," said Castle. "Yes or no works better."

"Okay, fine," Kate said, "Yes."

Her response was met with cheers from the other three.

Kate propped herself up on her elbows and looked over at Castle. "I don't know why y_ou're_ cheering, Castle."

.

Castle whistled when he walked into the kitchen the next morning. Unsurprisingly, Kate was already up and by the sounds coming from his study, so were Zoey and Alexis.

"I'm surprised you didn't come into my room last night, Detective," Castle teased, purposely placing a hand on Kate's waist and leaning around her to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Kate leaned back into his touch and placed her mouth right up against his ear. "Too bad you didn't come into mine," she whispered, "I decided to sleep n_aked_ last night."

Castle's jaw dropped, clearly stunned. Kate smirked and took the opportunity to slide away from him.

"Breakfast?" she asked, coolly.

Castle grinned and turned around. "Oh, you're g_ood_."

"You have no idea."

Before Castle could come up with a response, Alexis and Zoey came out of the study, still in their pyjamas.

"What's for breakfast, dad?" Alexis said, sitting down on one of the chairs at the counter and lifting Zoey up onto her lap.

"Whatever you want," he replied.

"I kind of want pancakes." Alexis looked down at Zoey, "What about you, Zo? Pancakes?"

Zoey nodded enthusiastically.

"Pancakes it is," said Castle, already gathering the ingredients and placing them on the counter. "Regular, chocolate chip, or blueberry?"

"Blueberry," said Kate just as Alexis responded, "Chocolate chip."

"All three it is," Castle said.

Kate rummaged around in the fridge. "I'm going to cut up some fruit."

For the next half hour, Alexis and Zoey watched with amusement (well, Alexis watched with amusement and Zoey just laughed when she did) as Kate and Castle alternatively yelled and scolded each other for doing what the other thought was wrong.

"Kate, don't cut up the apple that way," Castle said.

"Why not?"

"If you slice it the _other _way, you can get a star shape."

"I don't really care."

"Well, Alexis does."

"No, I don't," Alexis replied immediately.

"Traitor," said Castle. "When you were little, that was the only way I could get you to eat apples."

"Really?" Alexis said, surprised. "I don't remember that."

Kate rolled her eyes but she ended up slicing the apple around the middle, anyway.

And then a few seconds later…

"Castle! That is a ridiculous amount of chocolate chips."

"Why do you care? You're not eating it."

"That really is a lot, dad."

"Why are you taking her side all of a sudden?"

"I'm just saying," Alexis shrugged, "I like my pancakes to have the right ratio of chocolate chips to pancake."

"You guys are killing my creative spirit here," said Castle but he still ended up spooning in some more batter into the chocolate chip mix.

And a couple of minutes after that…

"You know, there _is_ another sink, Castle."

Castle pressed the side of his body right up against hers. "But, I like to share."

She slapped his hand when he tried to reach for one of the grapes she had been washing. He retaliated by splashing her with water.

"Augh, Castle! Stop! You're making me all wet!"

Castle grinned, "That's what –"

She shoved him away. "Do _not_ finish that phrase."

"Yeah, dad," Alexis piped up. "There are children in the room."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the tiny hiatus! I'm back on track now (and a few pounds heavier after all of that holiday food...) I hope you guys are still reading! Please drop a review if you've got the time :)_


	9. NORTH

**Chapter 9**

.

The week after, it was Zoey's birthday. Kate didn't really want to make a big deal out of it since she was only turning two and probably had no idea what they were actually celebrating. Still, she took July 22nd off to be with her daughter.

And apparently Castle and Alexis.

Kate wasn't planning on doing anything more complicated than going to the park and maybe going to a cupcake shop for a treat but at eight o'clock sharp, she heard a knock at the door.

"Happy Birthday!" Castle and Alexis said simultaneously when the door flew open to reveal Kate and Zoey still in their pyjamas.

"Lexi!" Zoey exclaimed.

"Hey Zo," said Alexis, bending down to give her a hug.

"What are you guys doing here?" said Kate.

"Well, it's Zoey's birthday," said Castle in a tone that made Kate think he wanted to add a '_duh_' to the end of his sentence.

"I know that."

"So, what are we doing to celebrate?"

"We?" Kate gestured to the four of them. "_I _was just going to take Zoey to the park."

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't have come up with something brilliant and awesome."

"Castle, she's turning two."

"And?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Nevermind."

"Lucky for you, I have a plan." said Castle, "I hope you haven't had breakfast."

.

It turns out Castle's plan involved having a personal chauffeur drive them around all day.

"So we don't have to waste time honking at idiots on the road and trying to find parking," he told Kate as he ushered her into the car behind Zoey.

"Alexis, are you sure you want to come out with us all day?" Kate asked.

"The boy has flown north," Castle chimed in from the front seat before his daughter could answer.

"Okay, _James_ went to visit his family in Toronto," said Alexis, with a look at her dad. Then to Kate, she said, "And even if he hadn't, I would have still wanted to celebrate Zoey's birthday. I like spending time with you guys."

Kate smiled back, thinking that Alexis must be the most well-adjusted teenager in the world. "So, where are we going?" she asked.

"Zoey's going to love it. It was one of my favourite restaurants as a kid," answered Alexis excitedly. "Well, I mean, I still love it."

Castle turned around in his seat. "Do you like _Alice in Wonderland_?"

.

Alexis was right, Zoey loved _Alice's Tea Cup_ as soon as they stepped in the door. While they were waiting to be seated, she spotted the fairy wings and immediately wanted one. Kate was just about to say that she had enough toys at home when Castle picked her up and asked her which one she liked best. He also got her the matching fairy wand.

"Castle!" Kate said, "Don't spoil her."

"It's her birthday!"

The hostess, whose nametag read 'Marion', came up to them just then with a smile, "Aw, is it your birthday?" She bent down to Zoey's level. "How old are you today?"

Zoey didn't answer and instead, scooted over to wrap one of her arms around Kate's leg.

"She's shy," Castle said with a chuckle.

"Hey Zo," said Alexis, "I showed you in the car, remember? How many fingers do you hold up?"

Zoey held up four fingers.

Kate laughed, unlatching Zoey from her leg and picking her up. "She's two," she answered.

"She's adorable," said Marion and then continued with a smile, "And so lucky that her parents decided to bring her here for her special day!"

"Oh, she's… we're not…"

Castle just grinned as he watched Kate try to stammer her way to an explanation.

Finally, Kate just replied, "So, is our table ready?"

"Oh, yes," said Marion, "Right this way."

Kate elbowed Castle as he let her pass him. "Thanks for the help," she hissed.

As they walked through the restaurant, Kate was charmed by all of the whimsical touches – from the colourful atmosphere to the quotes on the wall to the little teacups. She and Castle ended up sitting on one side of the table, occasionally stealing a bite from each other's plate, while Alexis and Zoey sat on the other. The two of them spent a considerable amount of time out of their seats so that Zoey could "fly" around with her fairy wings and wand as Alexis lifted her in the air.

Unfortunately, during that time, Kate couldn't miss the smiles that their server and the other patrons threw their way. And much to her chagrin, she couldn't even blame them for thinking that they were just as adorable as the décor. To the casual observer, the four of them _did_ look like a perfect little family.

"Hey," said Kate as she got back from the washroom with a now de-stickified Zoey, "Where's the bill?"

Castle and Alexis were already getting up and making sure they hadn't left anything behind. "Don't worry about it," said Castle.

Kate glared at him.

"Consider it Zoey's birthday present," he said, grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat's.

"Because you already bought her the fairy costume?" said Kate.

"That doesn't count," Castle said.

"How much was it, Castle?"

"Kate, I'm never going to let you pay me back so you might as well just give up now."

"He's right, Kate," said Alexis from behind them. "He's annoyingly persistent."

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Unfortunately, I have first hand knowledge of how annoying your dad can be," Kate said, as if she hadn't heard Castle's complaint. They started walking towards the door. "Also, he can be a bit whiny and narcissistic."

Alexis nodded, trying to hide her grin, "Oh yeah, absolutely."

"Um, hello? I'm right here. I can hear you guys talking about me!"

.

Their next stop was to the New York Aquarium where Castle had arranged a private tour.

"I'm not going to ask," Kate said when she had realised what he had done.

Castle smiled, "Good idea."

Zoey was delighted to be able to see the underwater creatures up-close even though she did think that the sharks looked 'mean and scary'. And Alexis wasn't too old to squeal when they got to feed the sea otters and see the penguins play.

By the time it was mid-afternoon, though, Zoey started getting fussy and frustrated.

"Her nap is a little overdue," Kate explained to their guide when Zoey started getting cranky about the heat. She looked briefly over at Castle, who was examining the sea turtles with Alexis. She didn't have to say anything more than that; he made his over to her immediately.

"I think it's time we called it a day," he said. He gave the guide a smile, thanking and assuring him that they would be able to find their way out by themselves.

Before they even made it to the car, Zoey was already asleep in Kate's arms.

"Do you want me to hold her?" Castle asked.

"No, that's okay. We're almost there," she replied.

"Dad," said Alexis, "Maybe we should head home now and let Zo nap."

"What else did you have planned, Castle?" Kate asked, glancing over at him with a smile.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," he replied cheekily.

.

The guest bedroom in Castle's loft had quickly become Zoey's unofficial room, which was where Castle found Kate a couple of hours later, curled up on her side and fast asleep on the bed. Castle lay down on top of the covers, propping himself up on his elbow, and just letting himself appreciate the quiet serenity in the moment before he would have to wake her up.

"Kate," he said softly, sweeping a wayward lock of brown hair off of her cheek, "It's time to get up."

Kate's hand reached up to brush at the cause of the light tickle and ended up grasping Castle's fingers. Her eyes blinked open sleepily and at that moment, Castle wished he could wake up beside her every morning just so he could be the first person to see those green eyes.

"Hey," she said, letting go of his hand, face confused as to why she was even holding it in the first place. She sat up and looked around the room, still disoriented. "Where's Zoey?"

"Downstairs. With Alexis," he answered, sitting up himself. "She woke up about fifteen minutes ago. I just wanted to let you sleep a little longer."

It was then that she noticed his position on the bed. She raised her eyebrows. "And have you been staring at me that whole time? Because I think I've told you how creepy that is, Castle," she paused, "Actually, it's a whole lot more creepy since I was _asleep_."

He grinned. "I just came in here to wake you up, like, two minutes ago, Detective," he answered, "I swear on my mother's non-existent Tony."

Kate rolled her eyes and slipped out from under the covers – she was still in her shorts and tank top from the morning. "Ugh," she said, "Do you have an extra toothbrush I could borrow?"

"Sure thing," he said. "I have one of those electric ones but I can get you an extra brush head."

Kate followed him into his bathroom and Castle spent a good minute trying to decide what colour should be hers (finally settling on orange because his was blue).

"Complementary colours, Beckett," he said, as if speaking to a child.

"I took grade school art too, Castle," she retorted.

He leaned against the counter as she brushed her teeth. "So, Alexis and I were thinking _Max Brenner_ for Zo's birthday dinner –"

"—That place with all the chocolate?" Kate asked, removing the spinning brush from her mouth.

"Yeah, what do you think?"

Kate rinsed and turned off the tap. "Thanks," she said when Castle handed her a towel and then answered, "I guess I could use a sugar-induced coma right now."

"Great!" said Castle, excitedly. "I could use one, too."

"Castle, you're on a perpetual sugar high as it is."

"Well then this will give you an opportunity to catch up."

.

"We have reservations under _Caskett_," Castle told the hostess when they arrived at the restaurant.

"Caskett?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, _Cas_tle and Bec_kett_," he answered, as if it were obvious. "Clever, right?"

"Ingenious," she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "But, what's wrong with putting it under your _own_ name? You know, like normal people?"

"But mommy!" Castle whined, "That's boring!"

Castle walked away with a grin, bringing Zoey along to show her some of the chocolate confections.

"Dad doesn't like to make reservations under his real name," Alexis confided after it was just her and Kate, "In case somebody decides to call the local paparazzi, you know."

"So, he always uses a fake name?" Kate asked.

Alexis smiled coyly, "Well, only when it's just family."

* * *

_A/N: _Alice's Tea Cup _and_ Max Brenner_ are real places! But I haven't been to either of them. And while we're on the subject, I've been to New York City all of three times, so if there are any native New Yorkers out there, please forgive any inconsistencies I make (and feel free to let them be known to me)!_

_Happy New Year, all! :) _


	10. you may not think that I care for you

**Chapter 10**

.

Castle had no interest trying to find a tie that matched his shirt. He was staring intently into his closet when Alexis interrupted him.

"So, you're giving up on Kate?" she asked, plopping herself down onto his bed.

"What?" Castle's brow furrowed, confused.

"You're going out on a date."

"It's not really a date," he replied, "Just somebody Paula wanted me to meet."

"Yeah, because none of the tabloids have seen you around town with a woman on your arm in, like, a year," Alexis explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I don't know if I like you reading those magazines," Castle quipped, knowing that his daughter couldn't be less interested in that kind of gossip.

Alexis grinned. "I only look at them to make sure you haven't gotten arrested for drunken debauchery again."

"Ooo," said Castle, "'Drunken debauchery'. Alliteration and an excellent word to boot – I guess that school really i_s _teaching you something." A pause and then, "What do you mean I'm giving up on Kate?"

Alexis threw up her hands in exasperation. "Are you two being serious here?"

"Oh, Alexis, apple of my eye, let it be known that contrary to popular belief, Kate and I are just friends."

"Okay, I don't know _what_ you guys are but I know for a fact that you are definitely not 'just friends'."

Castle had finally decided on a red tie. "Well," he continued, "Maybe it just seems a little bit more complicated because I'm taking care of Zoey."

"Who, by the way, has turned into my surrogate baby sister," said Alexis pointedly. "Not that I mind, I mean, she's freakin' adorable but dad… _seriously_."

"Alexis, honey, Kate and I are not together – if we were, I'm sure I would know about it," he said.

"No, actually dad, I think you and Kate would be the _last_ to know that you were going out with each other." She paused and then broached the question that's been on her mind ever since she's seen her dad and Kate interact with each other this summer. "I mean, what's stopping you from asking her out? I mean, asking her out officially, because everybody knows what's going on unofficially."

Castle sighed. "Alexis, Kate has had a lot of changes in her life this year. I think what she needs most from me right now is friendship, not a new relationship that could just add even more stress and anxiety where she doesn't need it."

"Don't you love her?" Alexis blurted out.

Castle smiled at his daughter and sat down on the bed to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "Sweetie, love gets a little more complicated when you're older."

"No. I don't think it does." Alexis shook her head stubbornly. "If you love each other then you love each other."

"How can you be so sure Kate feels the same way?"

Alexis smiled at her dad's unconscious admission and replied, "So, really, you're just afraid of rejection?"

"Oh, please." Castle scoffed and puffed out his chest. "Me? Rejected?"

But Alexis saw the uncertainty in her dad's face. He had never met anybody like Detective Beckett and he _was_ afraid that she would turn him down. And Alexis knew that a part of the reason he hadn't asked her out (or, she imagines, Kate hadn't asked her dad out) is because the uncertainty of hope was better than the certainty of rejection. "Trust me, dad," she finally said confidently, "She feels the same way."

"Okay, daughter," Castle said, getting off the bed to find a suitable jacket, "You're now officially scaring me with your insights into the human psyche."

"Well, I am doing a minor in psychology," Alexis replied with a smile.

"So," Castle asked, eager to switch the topic, "When is James picking you up?"

Alexis checked her watch. "Probably pretty soon. Our flight leaves at nine."

"Meeting the family," Castle grinned. "That's a big step in a relationship."

"Yeah, I'm kind of nervous."

"Don't be," Castle gave his daughter a hug, "They'll love you. Plus, they're Canadian so even if they don't like you, they'll be super polite about it."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Thanks dad. That's totally reassuring."

The doorbell rang, interrupting their moment.

"That's him," said Alexis.

"Go," he said, "I'll be down soon to say a final goodbye before my daughter gets thrown to the wolves."

Alexis laughed and Castle heard her make her way downstairs, unlatching and relocking the safety gates on the stairs. A second later, he heard, "Daad! It's Kate! She's here to pick up Zoey!"

Castle quickly put on his suit jacket and went to Zoey's room where she had wandered back to play while he had been getting ready. Castle no longer had to pack up a duffle bag every time Zoey left as he and Kate had decided to just leave a set of her things at his house so that Kate also wouldn't have to bother making sure she had everything in the morning.

"Oh, hey! It's a party!" Castle said when he got downstairs with Zoey and saw that James had just arrived.

"Hi Mr. Castle," James said after giving Alexis a kiss on the cheek. He turned to Kate, offering his hand, "And you're Detective Beckett, right?"

Kate raised her eyebrows in surprise but replied as she shook his hand, "You can call me Kate."

Alexis tried to hide her blush. "I've mentioned you once or twice," she said.

Kate smiled at Alexis as if to say, '_don't worry about it_'.

Alexis introduced him to Zoey and then they stood there awkwardly exchanging pleasantries.

"We'd better go," said Alexis, a few minutes later. She kissed Castle on the cheek and gave Kate and Zoey a hug. "I'll see you guys in a couple of days!"

"Bye, Mr. Castle," said James, "It was nice to meet you, Kate."

After the pair left, Kate turned to Castle. "Well, he seems nice," she said.

Castle looked a little huffy. "Could work on his conversation skills."

"Castle, he's probably just intimidated. I mean, how many times has he met you? Twice? He's probably still afraid you're going to murder him in his sleep if you see him kissing Alexis." Kate picked up Zoey off the floor where she had been playing with the Velcro on her shoes. "We'd better go, too. You probably have to leave soon to pick up…"

"…Yeah," said Castle and then he felt compelled to add, "She's just this new murder-mystery writer on the scene – I'm only going because Paula is making me."

Kate nodded, "Right."

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked.

Kate adjusted Zoey in her arms, "Lanie's coming over. We'll probably order in and watch a movie, you know, the usual."

"Yeah."

"Mhm." Her eyes darted away and then returned to focus on his red tie. "Well, I hope you have a good night."

"You too. I'll see you on Monday?"

"I'll drop Zo off at the usual time."

He opened the door for her. "Bye Kate."

.

On the last Sunday in August, Castle had planned to drive Alexis to Yale and help her set up her new place. Alexis had insisted that Kate and Zoey come along to see her very first apartment and meet her housemates.

Apparently everybody else had the same idea because the campus was filled with parents and the roads were crowded with moving vans. Luckily, Alexis had moved in the majority of her things a couple of weekends ago with James so all they had to haul up the stairs were her clothes and some school supplies.

Alexis introduced them to her housemates – all girls, much to Castle's relief – who hadn't been as smart and whose parents and siblings were occasionally yelling at each other about how to get a piece of furniture through the door.

"Ah, living with five other people," Kate said to Castle, "One of the things I do not miss about college."

The house was loud and chaotic so as soon as father and daughter finished setting the boxes in Alexis' room, they met Kate out front where she had been staying out of the way with Zoey.

"Lex! Hey Lex!"

Alexis turned at the sound of her name and waved at a petite brunette running towards them. "Leah, hi!" she said, giving the girl a hug. "Are you moving in, too?"

"Yeah, just two streets over, actually," Leah replied and then noticed the three other people standing beside them.

"Oh!" said Alexis, realising she hadn't really done the requisite introductions. "Leah, you know my dad, Rick. And this is my dad's…" Alexis paused, unsure how to finish that sentence and quickly amended, "… this is Kate and her daughter, Zoey."

They all exchanged 'hello's' before Leah asked Alexis if Elise had gotten there yet.

"Yeah," said Alexis, "She's still organizing some of her stuff but she should be inside somewhere."

"Thanks," Leah said, "Call me this week and we'll catch up."

Alexis nodded. "For sure."

As the four of them made their way across the campus, Alexis kept getting stopped by friends and classmates (after they left, Alexis would tell them whether they were really friends or just 'facebook friends' – a term that Kate found to be an amusingly accurate description) and with Zoey holding onto Alexis' hand for most of their walk, many of them told her how adorable they thought her little sister was. Alexis never bothered to correct them – a fact that Kate and Castle noted but didn't comment on – only replying with a cheery 'thanks' every time.

After lunch, they all went to the supermarket so that Alexis could at least buy some of the essentials to stock her fridge. There, Zoey insisted on sitting _in _the cart and only wanted Alexis to push her.

"Do you want these mini carrots, Alexis?" Castle asked loudly.

Alexis was picking out apples several aisles over. She looked up and nodded before handing Zoey another Granny Smith to put into the bag.

"Castle, you're so loud," said Kate, who was standing beside him inspecting a stalk of celery.

"How else is she gonna hear me?" he said.

"Well, you could maybe go over there and –"

Kate got cut off when somebody tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to see an elderly woman smiling at her pleasantly.

"I think you dropped this, dear," she said, holding up the jacket that Kate had looped through the strap of her purse earlier.

"Oh! Yes, thank you so much," said Kate.

"And may I just say," the woman continued, now looking at both Kate and Castle, "Your daughters are just the sweetest things. Your eldest read out my grocery list for me – I forgot my glasses at home, you see – she was very helpful and your youngest is such a cutie-pie." She patted Kate's hand. "What wonderful parents you must be."

"Oh, they're not…" Kate had been meaning to say '_they're not sisters'_ but, having gone through similar conversations all day, she decided to cut herself off in order to save some breath. She ended up just giving the old lady a smile. "…Thanks," she replied.

When the lady was out of earshot, Kate finally met Castle's amused look. She shrugged, "It's just easier than explaining."

* * *

_A/N: Consider this the end of the first thematic part of the story… starting next chapter, it'll be slightly less humour with slightly more romance. (Honestly, though, since I've just come to the end of the song line – this being a transition chapter – in starting a new lyric for Chapter 11, I thought the story needed to have a thematic change as well. I know. I'm crazy.) _

In any case_, the rating will be getting bumped up to a 'T' (so make of that what you will…) ;)_

_Okay then! Enough rambling from me… it's review time! :) _


	11. I'M

**Chapter 11**

.

Castle leaned against the bar, signalling the bartender to get him another drink.

"RICHARD CASTLE!"

He winced as he saw the dark-haired source of perpetual noise heading his way. "Hello Paula," he said, "And how are you this lovely Saturday evening?

"Do not 'hello Paula' me, Rick," she replied, one hand on her hip while the other was tapping against the wood-grain of the bar. "What are you doing standing all the way over here? Do I need to remind you that this is the premiere party for the movie based on _your_ book?"

"I've already made nice with all of the people you told me too," Castle said, tone just short of a whine.

"I don't know what's been going on with you lately," said Paula, shaking her head, "Didn't you use to love parties like this? All of the single women just waiting for you to ask them for their number?"

Castle shrugged. "I just don't feel like mingling tonight."

"It seems to me that you haven't felt like _mingling _for some time now," said Paula. "Does this have anything to do with that detec—"

Castle raised a finger to cut Paula off when his phone rang. He frowned when he saw that the call was coming from Kate's landline. "Hello?" he answered.

"Is this Richard Castle?"

Castle paused, rechecked the caller ID, and then answered, "Yes. Who's this?"

"Oh, thank god. I'm Claudia McGill, Zoey's babysitter. I'm so sorry for calling you but Zoey's really sick and I couldn't reach Detective Beckett on any of the numbers she gave me and I know that Zoey's been getting better from having strep throat but I gave her the antibiotics and they didn't do anything and then she started having trouble breathing so I decided to call an ambulance but they're not here yet and you were on the list of numbers on the fridge so I…"

"Whoa, whoa," said Castle, cutting off Claudia's rapid speech. "Slow down. Where's Zoey now?"

"She's lying down on the couch beside me."

"Has she been coughing?"

"Yes! She started coughing really badly, like, an hour after I put her to bed and then her breathing started sounding funny."

"Okay," Castle was already making his way quickly out of the noisy venue, "I'm on my way over. I'm only a couple of blocks away so I'll probably be there before the ambulance arrives but Claudia?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to keep Zoey calm, okay? If she's crying, it'll only make it worse."

Castle hung up then and looked down the street for a cab.

"Rick! What is going on?"

Somehow in his rush, he hadn't noticed that Paula had followed him out to the sidewalk. "I'm sorry, Paula," Castle said hurriedly, "But I have to go. That was Zoey's babysitter – you remember? Beckett's –"

"—daughter. Yeah, Rick, as if I could forget."

"Well, she's really sick and the babysitter doesn't know what to do. I have to get over there." A cab pulled up in front of him and he climbed in.

"Rick, I'm not an idiot. I see what's going on here with this Detective."

"Paula, whatever you think it is, it's not. Now, I really have to go so you can save your yelling for tomorrow." Castle slammed the door shut and gave the driver Kate's address.

.

When the door opened, Castle was greeted with a panicked teenager.

"Oh my god, Mr. Castle, your clothes… you were out, weren't you? I should've known! I am so, so, so sorry for ruining your evening, it's just that I—"

"Claudia." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder to stop her rambling. "I'm glad you called. That was the right thing to do, okay?"

The young girl nodded, though she was still visibly shaking.

Castle walked over to the couch where Zoey was lying down, her skin pale and her eyes wide with anxiety and tears. She didn't even have the energy or motivation to greet Castle.

"Hey baby girl," Castle said, picking her up carefully. He smoothed back some of her matted hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "It's okay, honey," he said reassuringly, "You'll be okay." Castle cuddled her tiny body close to his – she felt like a furnace. "Did you give her something for the fever?" he asked Claudia.

"Tylenol. An hour ago."

They heard the telltale sirens of the ambulance downstairs. "Just stay until the paramedics have gotten all the information that they need from you, okay?" he said.

Claudia nodded.

Castle pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket and took out several bills.

"That's too much," the girl said, shaking her head.

Castle smiled assuredly. "You did really well tonight, taking care of Zoey. I'm sure Detective Beckett would have said the same thing."

Castle rode with Zoey in the ambulance and at the hospital, the doctor diagnosed Zoey with the croup. Castle had already suspected as much, having gone through a similar episode when Alexis was a baby. Poor Zoey just had it even worse since she had a nasty case of strep throat on top of it. Castle soothingly got Zoey through the breathing treatment: a vaporized epinephrine that the doctor gave in order to open up her airway and kept her relaxed by reading stories when the doctor wanted Zoey to stay for monitoring.

Castle had been trying Kate's number throughout the night even though he found out that she was doing something undercover and wouldn't have access to her cellphone until much later. He left one message when they got to the hospital and then another when the doctor finally discharged Zoey a couple of hours later just so Kate would know that they had left.

.

Zoey managed to sleep for several hours before a new fit of coughing made her sit up in bed, agitated and scared. Castle hadn't left her room since they had gotten back, choosing to sit in a chair beside her bed, trying to write, in order to make sure she was all right. Now, at Zoey's pained whimpers, Castle sat down beside her and tried rubbing her back to get her to relax. Still, when another bout of coughs took over, Zoey's eyes started to water.

"Oh, I know," Castle said, remembering how frightening all of this could be to a small child. "I know how yucky it feels when you're really sick."

But, Zoey was already feeling too panicky for his words to have any effect and Castle picked her up when she started crying and wheezing in vain. He remembered what the doctor had told him about humidity being helpful in clearing up a child's breathing passages and made his way to the bathroom.

"I'm going to turn the lights on, Zo," he said, "Close your eyes, okay?" Zoey turned to bury her face into Castle's neck as he flicked the switch. He had to blink a couple of times himself to adjust to the sudden brightness before he managed to close the door behind them. Castle held her tight as he bent over to turn on the hot shower and then settled himself carefully on the edge of the tub with Zoey in his lap.

"Where's mommy?" she managed to ask between coughs, shuddering afterwards at the effort.

"She'll be home soon, Zo," he answered, letting her lean against him. "But in the meantime, we're going to sit in here until this nice steam makes you feel better, okay?"

Zoey didn't answer but her crying subsided, as did the duration of her coughing attacks. He dropped his head to press against hers. "Do you want me to sing you a song?" he asked.

At her almost imperceptible nod, he started to sing '_What a Wonderful World_', humming along when he forgot the lyrics.

Her raspy breaths diminished as the steam filled the room around them and he rocked them slowly back and forth until the tears on her cheeks dried.

.

That was where Kate found them when she got home. The sliver of light coming through the door must have alerted her and she entered the bathroom quietly, shutting the door behind her so that none of the hot air would escape. Castle had made his way onto the tiled floor a while ago so that he could lean against the wall and when she sat down beside them, Castle could see how frantic her eyes looked.

Zoey had finally managed to doze off, cradled in Castle's arms and Kate spent a good thirty seconds just staring at her. Finally, she leaned down to put her forehead gently against Zoey's and traced the lines of her tiny fingers with her own. Kate rested one of her hands on top of her daughter's stomach and squeezed her eyes shut. Castle's free arm wrapped around her body instinctively and he observed her minute pause before ultimately allowing herself to collapse into his side.

"Oh my god," she whispered.

"It's okay, Kate," he said softly, pressing a kiss into her hair, "It's okay now."

They sat until they were sure that Zoey had fallen deeply asleep before carrying her back into her room. Castle shut the door behind him after making sure Zoey's nightlight was on and joined Kate in the kitchen where she was filling a drinking glass with cold water and shaky hands.

"Kate…"

"Somebody has to teach Claudia how to leave a proper message. She was hysterical and incoherent."

"Well, she was pretty scared."

Kate's eyes widened. "She was scared? _She _was scared? _She _wasn't the one listening to a voicemail telling her that her daughter was sick and _having trouble breathing_ only to jump to the next message and find that she's now being taken to the _emergency room_." Kate placed her glass down on the counter forcefully. "Do you know how fucking _frightening_ that is to hear?"

"I do, actually," he replied calmly.

Kate started pacing back and forth in front of him. "And, to top it all off, we didn't even catch the guy tonight! I could have very well stayed here with my daughter for all the work we didn't accomplish! I _should_ have stayed here with my daughter who was clearly _not_ okay! I mean, what if something had happened to her?"

"But nothing did," Castle cut in, "She's okay now."

Kate started wringing her hands. "I can't – I don't –"

Castle grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and stopped her mid-step. "Kate," he said, stressing his words, "Zoey is fine."

Kate's eyes were brimming with tears when she finally decided to look up at him. "I was so scared, Castle," she said, "I don't think I've ever been that scared in my entire life. I've had to look down the barrel of a gun before and even that doesn't compare to the terror I felt when I heard those messages."

"Welcome to the life of a parent," he said, giving her a consolatory smile.

"Was _she _scared?"

"I sang her a couple of rounds of '_Happy Days Are Here Again_' and she was right as rain."

Kate sighed. "Castle…"

He softened. "She was as scared as any kid is when they're sick."

"I should've been here. The first time my little girl is sick and I wasn't here to comfort her."

Castle decided at the moment to pull her into a hug instead of giving her an answer that would do nothing to convince her of how she wasn't to blame. And just like before, she stiffened briefly before finally letting go and melting into his embrace.

"Thank you, Castle," she said, pulling away to look at him but leaving her arms wrapped around his shoulder. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here taking care of her."

"You don't have to thank me, Kate," he said, sweeping his fingers lightly up and down her back. "You don't ever have to thank me."

It was a moment that would have passed if he hadn't decided to nudge her closer with his hands or if she hadn't decided to flick her gaze away from his eyes and down to his lips. Neither one of them would be able to say who had initiated it first but the space-time continuum didn't stop when their lips met and it wasn't at all this surprising or magical or electric thing. In fact, it was a simple and organic chemical inevitability that felt just as natural as it did elementally _right_.

How much they wanted each other was evidenced by the intensity of those first few minutes. With the amount of time they spent bantering with each other, it wouldn't have surprised either of them if their tongues insisted on duelling for dominance but that never happened. Instead, it was a dance. Sometimes he led by circling his tongue gently with hers and sometimes she led by exploring passionately and deepening their kiss until they were breathing heavily against each other's lips. He elicited a soft moan when he sucked on her lower lip and his smile only caused her to playfully nibble on his until he was back to running his tongue over her lips and tasting her.

The way they kissed was a lot like how they communicated with each other on a daily basis. It was a perfect description of their relationship, the way they alternated between kissing each other softly and teasing each other by doing something unexpected.

The whole thing certainly didn't start off chaste but it ended up that way. Eventually, they slowed down until he was barely brushing his lips against hers and her arms fell loose against his shoulders.

It didn't feel like it was the first time they had done this and it had gone on way too long for feigned impulsiveness.

Separating their bodies meant acknowledging both of these facts.

So, they lingered.

They lingered until their thoughts took over their sensations and they had no choice but to pull back, eyes blinking open slowly and arms retreating from the other's embrace.

Their eyes held steady and unblinking: pellucid blue meeting diaphanous green.

Finally:

"You should go," she said quietly.

"Yes," he nodded, "I should."

* * *

_A/N: When I started this story, this scenario was what I had in my mind and what got me to want to write everything else… I think it sounded so awesome in my head that now that it's written, I don't know if it lives up to my ideal… Anyway… oh! By the way, did anybody catch the reference to a certain book series that I used to devour in my preteen years? Ten virtual cookies to those who do!_

_P.S.: BOOYAH! I hope you guys didn't see that kiss coming – I mean I didn't really want for you to see that it was going to happen until it did even though this whole story is obviously leading up to moments like this but yeah, now I'm rambling. Tell me what you think! Especially at this juncture!_


	12. WINNING

**Chapter 12**

.

(Lack of) communication between Castle and Kate for the next three days consisted of the following:

On Sunday, Kate's full attention was focused on Zoey, who was still feeling miserable and sore. If Zoey napped, Kate distracted herself by blasting her iPod and disinfecting the entire house. That night, she tossed in her bed for an hour, got up to make herself some chamomile tea, then tossed around for another hour only to have to get up to go to the washroom after drinking said tea, followed by a long session of channel surfing before finally drifting off sometime around three.

On Sunday, Castle got up uncharacteristically early and sat himself down in front of the door to wait for Kate to drop Zoey off before realising that Kate didn't work on Sundays. It was still too early to call her on her day off so he googled recipes and made the most complicated dish he could find. By the time it got late enough to call, he chickened out (four times) and justified it by telling himself she would be too worried about Zoey to worry about Their Situation.

On Monday, Kate picked up her phone three times, let her thumb hover over speed dial number two for several minutes, and then hung up. She re-read her single sentence text, letting him know that she wouldn't be going back to work until Zoey felt better, six times before finally hitting send by accident. For the rest of the day, her brain alternated between taking care of Zoey and rehashing every detail of The Kiss. This train of thought inevitably started her on a downward spiral that usually ended up in the vicinity of What Does This Mean?

On Monday, Castle got Kate's text letting him know that she would be staying at home with Zoey until further notice and he was so jumpy that he texted her back with a monosyllabic _'Kay_. He realised how unacceptable his answer had been for a writer of his obvious calibre and decided to draw a flow chart detailing all possible scenarios that his imaginative brain could conjure up about where their relationship could end up. Some were within the realm of possibility, i.e. she could threaten to castrate him if he mentioned what had happened when she was too emotionally fraught to control her own actions; while others were not so much, i.e. he would be waiting for her at the precinct and she would show up wearing a trench coat and nothing else, begging him to take her right there on her desk. It took him all day and when he went to sleep that night, his dreams _only_ contained scenes from those exact _im_possible scenarios.

On Tuesday, Kate tried to reward herself with a bath only to remember that she usually took one of _his_ books to read by flickering and scented candlelight. She attempted to close her eyes and just relax but with nothing to occupy her brain and her hands, they strayed to thoughts of him and what she imagined he could do to her if he were with her at that very moment.

On Tuesday, Castle took four cold showers.

.

Kate was watching the morning news on television Wednesday when the report of a murder and the arrest of a suspect caused her to overcook her scrambled eggs. Less than five minutes later, her cellphone rang with the Captain at the other end telling her to get her ass to the precinct immediately.

.

Castle's cellphone rang and he almost dropped it when Kate's picture flashed onto the screen.

_(Inhale)_ He hit 'answer'.

_(Exhale)_ "Kate?"

"Castle, I need you—" _(Sharp inhale)_ "—to meet me at the precinct." _(Exhale)_

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I mean, yes. Well, kind of. There's been a lead on a cold case and the Captain wants me at the station but I can't leave Zoe—"

"—I'll meet you at the precinct."

"There's no rush, Castle."

"Don't worry about it." _(Deep inhale)_ "See you soon." _(Exhale)_

.

"You know she'll totally stick that in her mouth and eat it, right?"

Ryan looked up at Castle's voice and then back down to Zoey. She was sitting on the floor beside his chair, playing with the babushka doll that usually sat on Kate's desk. Ryan frowned, "It's too big."

"Not when she figures out how to open it and get to the smaller ones inside," he replied, watching as Ryan paused to consider that information and then bent down to try to pry the wooden doll out of Zoey's fingers.

As Castle walked towards Kate, he could hear Zoey's loud protests only to be followed by Esposito's bribe of the return of the toy for some candy.

"Those two will make fine parents one day," Castle chuckled as he stopped to stand beside Kate.

Her eyes had been focused on the murder board in front of her but at Castle's comment, she turned her head to see Zoey sitting on Ryan's lap, happily making a mess with a pudding cup. "Well, at least they didn't give her something breakable today," she replied.

"A watch?"

"Oo, close. A cellphone."

"Esposito's?"

Kate grinned. "Lanie's."

"And courtesy of Ryan, she got…"

"…a year's worth of non-existent phone bills."

"Nice."

She looked at him briefly as she turned to face forward again. The slightly relieved expression on both of their faces was due to the realisation that at least one part of their relationship – the part where they exchanged witty repartee and quick banter – didn't seem to have changed, no matter what else had.

Kate took a step back to perch against the desk, hands falling to either side to brace herself on its edge. He followed suit.

"So—" he started, laying his right hand discreetly over hers, "—later?"

The '_let's talk'_ between those two words didn't need to be vocalized.

She understood them to be there and made a noise of assent. "They want me to interrogate the suspect from this morning. I handled the case the first time around." Her eyes were still directed forward but he felt her fingers rise a fraction of an inch away from the desk to grip his before curling their locked hands back down. "I probably won't be long."

"Take whatever time you need." (He wasn't just referring to the case.)

"It probably won't be as simple as it seems to be right now." (Neither was she.)

He shrugged. "Maybe you'll be surprised."

.

As soon as Castle disappeared with Zoey behind the elevator doors, Lanie appeared beside Kate.

"Jeez, Lanie," Kate gasped, "Where the hell did you come from?"

Lanie didn't answer, instead, she waited for Kate to stop fussing with the files on her desk and face her.

The staring finally got to Kate. "What?" she asked.

"Exactly," said Lanie. "_What_ was that?" She made a little back and forth gesture between Kate and the elevator.

Kate opened her mouth, considered lying, then darted her eyes to the ceiling and chewed the side of her lips. She decided to play it safe. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Lanie narrowed her eyes. "I mean, the _vibe_. What's with the vibe?" Her voice went up an octave. "Don't think I didn't see what happened there."

"What exactly did you see?"

"Was there something I _wasn't_ supposed to see?"

"No," Kate said quickly. "I'm just asking."

"You're asking if I saw something that I wasn't supposed to see even though there was nothing for me to see?"

"…Yes?"

"Did something happen between you and writer boy?"

"Not… really."

"Not really? _Not really_? What does that even mean?" Lanie's forehead creased in bewilderment. It made Kate remember that time at the paediatrician's where she had had that exact expression on her own face.

"You know," Kate started, "I just figured that out myself. Like, ten seconds ago."

"So…?"

"So, yeah," said Kate triumphantly. "I stick with my answer. Not really."

"Will you tell me what you're talking about _eventually_?"

"When the answer to that question becomes a firm yes then I will."

Lanie's mouth widened into a shit-eating grin, "Oh Kate, you're so easy." She started to walk away, intending to leave her friend in the same state of confusion that she was in. "I believe they call that a Freudian slip."

**.**

Kate knocked on his door at three in the afternoon. She was technically still on sick leave in order to be with Zoey and the Captain had let her go as soon as the interrogation had been successful.

"You have a key," Castle said, by way of greeting.

"I—" she didn't want to say that she felt weird. She settled for, "—I was confused."

He still understood what she meant. "Not confused about the key itself."

"No."

"Because you've had it for a while now."

"Right."

"But now the meaning might have changed?"

"Maybe."

He considered that. A second later, he asked, "If I had asked for it back two weeks ago, the key, I mean, would you have given it to me?"

"Why would you have wanted it back?"

He shrugged. "Let's just say I changed my mind and wanted you to knock so that I could answer the door myself."

"Okay. Then, yes, I would have given it back."

"What would you have felt?"

"That you were being strange and weird."

"Fair enough."

Kate tilted her head. "If the foreseeable future had been like it was two weeks ago, would you have ever asked for the key back?"

"Maybe. Probably. Under certain circumstances." (In his head, he completed the thought with: _If he started to date somebody else. As if getting over her was even within the realm of possibility.)_

Kate nodded and said, "If you were no longer looking after Zoey for me, you mean."

"Why wouldn't I be taking care of her anymore?"

Her turn to shrug. "Let's say I found somebody else to help me." (In her head, she continued the sentence with: _…like a boyfriend. But nobody could ever compare to you._)

His expression was one of irony. "My answer to your question is the same as your answer to my question."

She nodded. "I know."

"And how would you feel if I asked for the key back today?" he asked.

Her answer was immediate. "Confused."

"Because the meaning might have changed."

"Because the meaning _has_ changed."

"Not yet."

"Oh really?" A faint smile. "And why not?"

"Well, we haven't even come up with a definition yet."

This was it. The Conversation. And they were going to have it with the exit right behind her. She hadn't really considered leaving but she appreciated the choice.

She slipped off her jacket. It was too warm now. (She didn't comment on his eyes following her movements.) "We're not strangers," she started, now toeing off her heels.

"No," he said, kicking her shoes to the side. "I don't typically like strangers to stand too close to me—" he took a step towards her, "—or touch me—" he reached his right hand out to meet hers, slowly intertwining their fingers together.

"No," she said, "We're definitely not strangers."

"So. Are we work colleagues?" he asked.

"I don't think so." This time, she leaned towards him. "Because I normally wouldn't greet my colleagues like this—" she placed her lips gently against his, almost like French people would when meeting each other on the street, and then pulled away casually. She looked him in the eye. "We could be friends," she continued.

With their fingers still entangled, he leisurely took a few steps forward. Reflexively, she took a few steps back until she was pressed against the door. Her breath quickened a fraction of a beat but he sounded calm when he asked, "May I try something?"

A tilt of her head. Then, "Yes."

With a movement both decisive and unhesitating, he closed the distance between their bodies and drew her lips to his. Their mouths parted readily, mutually deciding on a languid pace in that intimate silence. Their tongues met and mingled deliciously, savouring each other's taste. His act of pushing deeper was a question of exploration and her moans became the complimentary answers of pleasure.

He pulled back. "I don't think we're just friends—" his free hand pushed under her shirt until she could feel his thumb sweeping just underneath the edge of her bra, "—do you?"

"Well—" she waited until his hand trailed back down her side to shake her head, "—we're not lovers."

At that, his eyes twinkled. "Not yet."

Her head fell back against the door as he started to place light kisses up her neck. They made her voice breathy. "Am I your girlfriend?" she asked.

He ran his tongue on a spot just underneath her ear, answering against it, "Only if you want to be." The sudden rush of air over that area made her whole body tremble.

Her grip on his right hand tightened and she made sure he saw her faint but tender smile. "Not yet," she echoed.

And that was okay. If it was inevitable then '_not yet_' was wonderfully promising.

He ended up resting his forehead against hers and they stood there, with their eyes closed, for a little while, considering.

When he finally moved, her eyes opened to see that he was still musing over something.

Finally, "May I keep kissing you?" he asked.

She chuckled. Castle could never stay serious for long. "What?" she teased, "For now?"

He moved away until only their clasped hands were touching. "No, not for now—" His lips curved in amusement but his gaze was piercing. "—For_eve_r."

* * *

_A/N: A lot of you guessed the book series from last chapter! (It was _The Baby-Sitters Club_)! Anyway, I hope I did a good enough job on the 'kiss aftermath conversation' and that at least some of you liked how it turned out! :)_

_Also, I've got a slight dilemma that requires audience participation._

POLL TIME:_ I'm some chapters ahead in writing and I don't think/know if I want to turn this into an M-rated story. I know there might be some of you out there who are probably like, 'UST must be resolved with some sexy times!' so, I've decided to leave it up to democracy. Just drop a review or PM me with your preference:_

a) I. Need. Smut.

b) Keep it clean, yo.


	13. YOU

**Chapter 13**

.

The lock turned slowly until it made a soft _click_. Kate entered to the dim lights and silent stillness of the loft and slipped out of her heels. The neon numbers on the microwave read 12:30. Technically, that meant Halloween was over but the crazies were still raging on at the precinct.

Kate was about to make her way upstairs to get Zoey when Darth Vader sat up from the couch.

"Castle, _what_ are you doing?" she asked.

He took off the mask and rubbed his eyes. "I think I fell asleep waiting to scare you."

Kate couldn't resist. "If you really wanted to scare me, you should have kept the mask _off_."

"Oh, ouch. And here I thought you _liked _me ruggedly handsome."

"Your words, not mine," she retorted. "Hey! Is that what you wore to go trick-or-treating with Zoey tonight? You didn't scare me but I'm sure you would've scared some tiny children, including _mine_."

"Don't be silly," he stood up and she saw that he was wearing a white t-shirt with the numbers 3.141592654 scrawled across the front in black marker. He continued, "_Star Wars _education starts in the fourth year of life."

She rolled her eyes. As he made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, she could see that the continuing sequence ran across his back as well. She grinned. Zoey wasn't quite old enough to really care about what she wanted to be for Halloween – a stage of life that Castle, apparently, hadn't taken advantage of when Alexis had been little – so Castle had been deciding between three different costumes for her.

"So," Kate said, making her way over to the sink where he was getting a glass of water, "Did Zoey make a cute pumpkin?"

Castle pointed to his shirt. "Right? A surprising number of people did _not_ get it." He offered her the glass but she shook her head. "How was your night? Did you get bitten by any slutty vampires?"

Kate smirked. "No, but I probably would have made it here in time to see Zoey in her costume if somebody hadn't tried to kill me with their brain."

"Don't worry, I took pictures."

Kate crossed her arms. "And how much candy did you give her?"

"Her sugar rush just ran out an hour ago."

"Seriously?"

"No! What kind of a parent do you think I am?" Castle grinned. "I gave her a little piece of chocolate and then hid the rest for myself."

"How thoughtful," Kate said, wryly. Her eyes flicked to the clock again and she sighed, "I don't know how I'm going to manage to get her home without waking her up. I just hope she doesn't get cranky."

"You should just stay," he blurted out. At her wayward glance, he added, "I'm serious. It's late, you're tired, and there's no point in waking Zoey up."

She knew what Castle suggested made sense but if she stayed, she would be sleeping in his room and they both knew it (Zoey occupied the only guest bedroom, Alexis' room was off limits, and they would feel bad, and a little ridiculous, if one of them had to sleep on the couch). The problem wasn't that it would be uncomfortable – in fact, both of them had a feeling it would be anything but. The problem was that they had only had The Conversation a week ago. They were no longer in each other's "friend zone" but besides the extended make-out sessions, they hadn't progressed an inch.

Kate knew she was being illogical and irrational. The most important factor in their lives had always been their children but at this point, Alexis and Zoey were _equally_ loved by _both_ of them and they treated each other like sisters. Kate could no longer use them as valid reasons to not pursue a relationship. In fact, Alexis was practically acting as their matchmaker.

Everything happened so gradually that Kate hadn't even noticed when she had started associating words like 'reliable' and 'loyal' with Castle but time and again, he had proved how much he cared for her – the list of things he had done to help her or for her benefit was no longer quantifiable. And he never asked for anything in return. She knew how he felt about her and yet, he never acted on those emotions until _she_ had been ready. Even now, he was willing to wait for her. And she trusted that he would. She trusted _him_.

Yet, it was like Kate was unable to get her old impression of _the_ Richard Castle, playboy extraordinaire, out of her head. Like she was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. She wanted to be with him, wanted to be able to say 'this is my boyfriend', but she just couldn't seem to bring herself to take that final leap of declaration.

.

She wore one of his t-shirts. It reached mid-thigh and he's seen her in shorter but somehow, when she came out of his bathroom, face scrubbed free of make-up and hair still wet from the shower, it became the sexiest thing he had ever laid eyes on.

What he said was, "My shirt looks good on you."

What he tho_ugh_t was, '_you are so fucking gorgeous, it hurts_'.

She was too tired to come back at him with a witty response and gave him a lacklustre smile, instead. Her voice sounded drained when she asked, "Have you seen my phone? I have to set an alarm for tomorrow."

He tapped the clock on the nightstand beside him. "I set it for seven."

She flopped down onto the bed, letting out an exhausted sigh when her head hit the pillow. "Set it for six," she said. "I have to go home first."

"Why?"

"I can't go to work wearing the same thing I wore yesterday," she answered, with a sidelong glance in his direction.

"Don't you have an extra change of clothes at work?" He tugged at the covers to pull them over her body.

"That was it," she responded, pointing to the bag she had stuffed her clothes into after her shower. "The clothes I wore this morning got covered in fake blood."

"Ah, Halloween."

"Best night of the year," she said, sarcastically.

He glanced at the clock. 1:47. "Can't you go in later?"

She shook her head against the pillow, her eyes already closed.

He knew that she could. She just didn't want to. He considered leaving the alarm set at seven so she could have that extra hour but then remembered that he still wanted to see Alexis graduate college.

"Castle," she mumbled, just as he was about to turn off the lamp.

"Yeah?"

"No funny business."

He was sure she could hear the grin in his voice. "Duly noted, Detective."

.

He slammed the snooze button on the clock as soon as he heard the first _beep_. It was instinct: annoying beeping = automatic disablement. He was already drifting back to sleep when he felt the sensation of Kate's leg pressing up against his and remembered that not everybody liked to wait until the last possible second to wake up.

He yawned and let out a small groan, wondering why he hadn't been smart enough to put the alarm clock on _her_ side. He was just about to nudge her awake when he recognized an opportunity that he just couldn't resist exploiting. He rolled over onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows, leaning his face slightly over Kate's. Her breathing was still steady and even.

Her closed eyes were where he placed his first two kisses, soft and light. They fluttered a little but she was still out of it. When he kissed the corner of her lips, she started to move a little bit more. And just as she came to, he pressed his lips gently against hers, smiling when she responded a split second later. As seconds passed, intensity rose. He complied when she flipped them so that he was lying back on his side of the bed with her on top. She dragged out one last, long kiss before pulling away from him.

He grinned. "Now, isn't that a nice way to wake up in the morning?"

She climbed over him to get out of bed and put on his slippers (which were fuzzier than the ones she had at home). "Sure beats an alarm clock," she replied, padding into the bathroom.

.

"Beckett!"

Kate looked up from the body and saw Castle carrying Zoey in his arms, standing just inside the police's sectioned off area. Kate glanced at Lanie, "I—"

"—Uh huh." Lanie gave her an amused look. "Just go."

Kate ripped off the sterile gloves she had been wearing and rushed over to the pair. "Castle! What were you thinking bringing my child to a crime scene!"

Castle's face wore the expression of innocence. "Look, I made sure Zoey couldn't see a thing."

Kate _almost _laughed at seeing Zoey's purple hat pulled over her eyes with the little girl giggling like it was the funniest game in the world. Kate looked behind her and realised that the body wasn't visible from where they were standing anyway. "Peekaboo!" Kate said to Zoey as she repositioned the hat, causing the little girl to burst out into another peal of laughter. "So," she asked, "What _are _you doing here?"

He pulled out her phone from his jacket pocket. "You left this at my house."

She took it from him gratefully. "I thought I lost this! Where did you find it?"

"On my bed. Underneath your pillow, strangely enough."

"Well, thanks," she said. "Where are you tw—"

Kate got interrupted when her phone rang. She saw that it was Lanie and answered, confused.

"Girl! Why was your phone on his _bed_?" came the shriek of her voice at the other end.

Kate whirled around. "How did you—"

"—I can read lips," Lanie answered, "And Kate, you've got some explaining to do."

Kate rolled her eyes in Lanie's direction and hung up.

"What was that about?" Castle asked.

"Nothing," replied Kate, "I've just gotta get back."

"Okay." Castle bounced Zoey a little in his arms. "We're on our way to the carousel."

Zoey reached out to Kate. "Mommy. Come?"

"Oh, sorry Zo. Mommy has to work." Kate took Zoey's little hand. "But, you have fun okay?" Kate leaned in to give Zoey a kiss, gripping Castle's forearm in the process. "I'll see you later, baby girl."

As she leaned back, Castle couldn't help but add, "Don't I get a kiss?"

"In your dreams, Castle," she smirked.

"Oh, you have _no_ idea."

"I'll try to get home- back to your house on time tonight," Kate told him, hoping he hadn't noticed her little slip of the tongue.

He smiled but didn't make a comment about it. "We'll be there," he said, instead.

Kate watched them slip underneath the yellow tape before making her way back to Lanie.

"How domestic," Ryan commented with a smirk as she passed him.

"Do you want to join that dead body, Ryan? Yeah. Didn't think so."

.

She started to leave clothes at his house.

It wasn't even because she always got there late and didn't want to wake up Zoey. After a while, she just started to stay over on those nights when she was too exhausted to drive home. The thought of having to get back into her car, arrive at her chilly apartment, put Zoey to bed, make sure she had something to eat (because, of course, she hadn't had dinner), and shower before finally being able to drag her body into bed became an overwhelmingly complex chain of events when she thought about the alternative.

Zoey was always perfectly content to stay, especially since her unofficial second bedroom had significantly cooler toys. And, Castle always seemed to have leftovers from whatever new concoction he had managed to whip up that night but if he didn't, he _always_ made her something – the concern for her health transparently evident even though he tried to conceal it by making jokes about her inability to cook.

They were sleeping together but not _sleeping_ together.

(Though, by then, they had done pretty much everything but.)

Strangely, the fooling around never happened on the nights she chose to sleep over. Rationally, it probably had something to do with the fact that if she was sleeping over, it meant that she had no more energy left to exert. As these nights accumulated, though, Kate began to notice just how much Castle knew her. Not just knew how she liked her coffee or what kinds of movies she enjoyed but he had somehow figured out her moods, her quirks and the emotions that she usually preferred to keep to herself.

He never asked her how she felt, he just _knew_.

So, when she was just plain worn out, the only thing he would do was say 'sleep well' and turn off the light. On those nights, he sometimes stayed up to write but Kate never knew what time he actually climbed into bed.

When she felt restless (because of a frustrating case or from hitting a dead end), he would turn off the light and stay with her – sometimes tangling their bodies together to anchor her to the present or, if she was extremely anxious, kissing her gently to make her focus on sensation instead of the thoughts running through her mind.

If she was upset, on those rare occasions when she actually let something get to her, he would leave the lights dimmed and pull her close. Her back to his front, he would wrap his arms tightly around her body and murmur into her ear until she fell asleep.

(On those mornings, they would wake up warm – tucked into each other, their unique scents mingled, and he would wish stronger than ever that she believed in soul mates.)

* * *

_A/N: Thank you guys for contributing to my poll! I think I have a better idea of what the audience wants now ;) It won't come up for another couple of chapters (at least... probably...) but when it does, I'm going to keep the main story rated T (I also didn't realise that I actually have a bunch of young readers) and have a separate M-rated 'extras' uploaded as a separate story (which, many of you suggested and I didn't even think of!)_

-Addendums_ (for the curious or confused)-_

_12.1 In case you are not a nerd like I am (in which case, you probably won't be quite as amused but), Zoey was a pumpkin for Halloween and Castle was 3.14159… = the digits of Pi. So, they were _PUMPKIN PIE. _(I know right? Total nerd.)_

_12.2 "Also, I can kill you with my brain." – River Tam_

_12.3 The unofficial title of this chapter was: The One Where the Author Abuses the 'There Is Only One Bed' Trope. _

_So, are you troped out? Or are you still standing? Let me know._


	14. WITH

**Chapter 14**

.

Contrary to what other people assumed when they looked at his lifestyle, Castle did occasionally have to do work as a published author that didn't just involve spinning around in his office chair as he tried to come up with good ideas. Normally, he made sure to arrange his appointments around Kate's schedule or when he was certain that Lanie, Esposito, or Ryan were off so that they could babysit.

It didn't always work out, though.

Which was why Kate found herself in a department meeting, trying to keep her daughter quiet and entertained. So far, it had been working with Zoey only occasionally crawling away from her unnoticed and surprising people when she scurried underneath their chairs or between their legs. They always seemed more amused than annoyed. Likely due to the fact that these meetings were always such a bore and Kate had provided them with a distraction in the form of a 28lb, preciously pig-tailed, easily humoured package.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Montgomery cleared his throat as he addressed the group of officers in the corner who were passing Zoey around like a football and giving her cookies from the tray of snacks provided for the meeting. He raised his voice when they didn't seem to have heard him. "Gentlemen!"

"Oh, yes sir!" The one named Lee answered while the other three snapped to attention.

"Do you think you can all stop being distracted by an adorable child long enough to focus on this new protocol?" Montgomery said with just a hint of annoyance.

The four officers mumbled their 'yes, sirs' among chuckles from the others in the room.

Montgomery gave Kate a pointed look.

Kate said with an innocent shrug, "She was perfectly content sitting here with her Cheerios and her crayons. Lee and company just lured her away, that's all."

"Hey!" came a chorus of offended male voices.

"She won't be here much longer, sir," Kate continued, "Somebody—"

"—Castle," Esposito coughed out, eliciting his own glare from Kate.

"Somebody's coming by to get her soon," she finished.

The Chief nodded but Kate made sure to keep an extra close eye on Zoey for the rest of the meeting.

.

"Castle!" Kate hissed into her cellphone, "Where the hell are you?"

"Kate! I'm sorry!" he sounded like he was walking outside, "I thought I only had that one thing to do at my publicist's but it turns out—" Kate heard a loud honk, followed by him swearing loudly.

"Look, if you can't make it, I'll just try to call my—"

"No, Kate," he seemed to have recomposed himself, "I"ll be by soon."

"Castle, if you have things to do, I understand," she said.

"I'll just take her with me."

"Are you sure…?"

"It'll be fine. Don't worry," he said hurriedly, "Listen, I gotta go. I'll see you soon, 'k?"

"Okay…" Kate still sounded uncertain.

From the time she hung up to the time Castle showed up at the precinct was almost exactly one hour.

When he approached her, she saw him temporarily forget where they were and then, upon remembering, having to physically stop himself from giving her a kiss.

"Hey," he said, instead.

"Good timing," Kate responded in greeting. "We just caught a case."

"Where's Zo?"

Kate pointed to Velázquez' desk. "She's been making the rounds all morning. Turns out, very popular with homicide detectives who think they're a bunch of badasses."

Castle grinned and then lowered his voice. "What time will you be home?"

"I get off at six."

"So… nine?"

"Oh, haha," Kate responded dryly. "Are you sure it's all right to have Zoey with you all day?"

"Your job is different from my job," Castle said, "With _my_ job, I need something significantly distracting to keep me from wanting to go to sleep as people talk at me."

She rolled her eyes. "Uh huh. I love how you're always keeping Zoey's best interests at heart."

"You know it, babes."

"Castle. What did I say about nicknames?"

"…Don't?"

"That's right, kitten. Now, go get your distraction."

.

"Up!" Zoey commanded when she and Castle entered the elevator. It was the building where the main office of his publishing house was located. "I want to push!"

"All right, Zo," he said, "But you have to hold on while all of these other people go first." They were going up to the 47th floor so he was sure it wouldn't be the first stop.

Zoey was jumping up and down impatiently as the elevator filled and the doors closed.

"She can push my floor," said an attractive-looking woman behind them, giving Castle a smile. "59th."

Castle chuckled. "Thanks," he said. He lifted Zoey up. She had only learnt how to count up to ten. "Okay, Zo. Did you hear what the nice lady said? Can you find five and nine beside each other?"

Zoey's index finger drifted over the buttons, her face the picture of concentration. It landed on 56. "Yes?" she asked, turning her head back to look at Castle.

He shook his head. "No, that's a five and a six. A nine is _like_ an upside down six."

Zoey quickly turned back around. "This one!" she exclaimed, pointing to the right number.

"Yup!" Castle nodded. "Now what's our number?"

"Four and seven," she responded seriously.

As Zoey searched, Castle's peripheral vision caught the other occupants trying to hide their smiles while they pretended not to look at Zoey.

"I did it!" Zoey clapped, after having successfully found the right number.

"High five," Castle said, offering his palm.

"Your daughter is very smart," said the 59th floor woman. Only the three of them were left in the elevator.

"You _are_ very smart aren't you, Zo?" he asked with a grin, bouncing Zoey a little.

Castle didn't miss her eyes quickly flicking down to his left hand before saying, "You and your wife are very lucky."

"Actually, I'm not married," he answered dryly, having been on the other side of this conversation enough times to know where this was going. Castle decided to save her the trouble when her eyebrows raised. "But I'm involved," he cut in before she could say anything else. "_Very_ involved."

The elevator door dinged and Castle stepped out.

.

"What do you mean you _won't go_?"

Castle winced. Paula's face, already naturally expressive enough, had contorted to one of fury.

"_Black Pawn_ is sending you to Europe on an all-expense paid book tour and you're turning them _down_?"

"It's just that the timing…"

"Oh, what? You want them to halt the release of the third _Nikki Heat _over there?"

"But one month is just a really long stretch…"

"_Yes_," said Paula, frustrated, "But you'll be in Europe for that whole month – did you forget how much you love Italian cuisine and British accents?"

"What if we were to cut it shorter?" he asked hopefully, "Like to a week and a half?"

"Richard Castle, do I need to remind you that doing promotion for _your_ books is a part of your _job_?"

"It's just… Paula, I can't."

Paula didn't miss the way his eyes darted to Zoey who was on the other side of her glass office door, playing with her assistant in the waiting room. Paula had a severe aversion to people under the age of ten while Melanie was baby-crazy. Castle had thought it was probably in Zoey's best interests to stay outside.

"Oh, I see," Paula said, her tone somewhat mocking, "You _can't_. Remind me, Rick. Exactly what is your connection to that child? I'm sure her mother will be able to find a suitable babysitter to replace you in your one-month absence."

"I'm not _babysitting_ her," Castle replied, feeling his anger flare up at Paula's words.

"Then, what are you doing?"

"I—I'm taking care of her. I'm… one of Zoey's guardians."

"So, she's your daughter, is that it?"

"Well, no, not _technically_."

Paula sighed. "You know, when Alexis was little, you would just take her along with you on these things."

"Well, yeah, because her mother didn't have a full-time job that she had to go to every day but Kate—"

"—Oh!" said Paula with a raised eyebrow, "So it's _Kate_, now?"

Castle didn't dignify that with a response. Instead, he sat back, resolute. "I'm not going, Paula. I've made my decision."

Melanie knocked on the door, interrupting their stare-down. "I'm sorry, Paula, Mr. Castle," she said, "But she was getting a little antsy."

Zoey ran over to Castle and he picked her up immediately. "Hey baby girl," he said, settling her on his lap. He turned to the assistant, "She's probably just ready for her nap. Thanks so much for looking after her."

"Oh, it was no problem, Mr. Castle," Melanie smiled. "She's a real sweetheart."

Zoey was quickly wilting in Castle's arms with her thumb in her mouth, a sure sign she was tired. He kissed the top of her head and looked straight at Paula. "I can't go," he said, "I won't leave her."

"Who are we talking about now, Rick? The little girl in your arms or the woman sharing your bed?"

.

"Ouch, mommy. Mommy, oww!"

Castle entered the loft later that night to the sound of Zoey's yelps. Kate was trying to get the tangles out of her hair as gently as possible with a wide-tooth comb. Since day one, her curls had been a major source of annoyance for Kate and the most repetitive source of suffering for Zoey.

He walked into the living room and gave Zoey a kiss before seating himself on the couch beside Kate. Zoey was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of them, the more-than-occasional complaint coming out of her mouth.

He leaned over to give Kate a kiss on the cheek but she made a face at him. "You know, Castle, I like how you always make me the bad guy. Maybe if _you_ brushed her hair sometimes, I wouldn't have to go through this as often."

"But, she gives me that face! That pouty, don't-do-this-to-me, face!"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You know, she gives me that face, too."

"Yes, but you're stronger. Also, I'm still having nightmares from that time Alexis got gum in her hair." He shuddered for dramatic effect. "_You_ have yet to live through that."

"Let's hope I never do," she replied. Picking up the bottle of detangler off the floor, she sprayed some in Zoey's hair before asking Castle, "How did your talk go?"

"It was a lecture hall full of eager young co-eds," he replied wryly, "Half of them wanted to know how to become the next J.K. Rowling and the other half wanted to know if Natalie Rhodes was just as hot in real life."

"Done now, mommy?" Zoey chirped from the floor.

Kate brought the comb through one more knot and said, "Yup, all done."

Castle lifted Zoey up and settled her between them on the couch. Zoey was already in her pyjamas, clutching her stuffed animal, Toto. Ever since Alexis had given her the plush yellow dog for her birthday, Zoey wouldn't go to sleep without having it tucked in right beside her.

"Are you staying?" he asked Kate, though it wasn't really a question so much as verification.

Kate divided Zoey's hair in half and started loosely plaiting the right side. Castle followed suit with the left – he was not embarrassed to admit that he knew how to make braids having raised a daughter who had always insisted on having long hair.

"Yeah," she replied, "Do you mind?"

Castle smiled. "You know you don't ever have to ask that, right?"

"Well," she shrugged, "It's not late or anything. I mean, I usually just stay when I'm too tired to drive home."

He tugged a hair tie off of her wrist. "You can stay anytime, Kate." Then, trying to sound casual. "I love it when you stay."

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was basically 'A Day in the Life of…" because I feel like we've been missing out on some pure Zoey cuteness. Also, an excuse for more gratuitous fluff… Hope you enjoyed!_

_By the way, I know I don't reply to all of you but I _really, REALLY_ love and adore and appreciate all of you taking time to write those wonderful, wonderful reviews. Even if it's to point out something I overlooked or did wrong, I appreciate because it helps me make the story better and shows that you guys actually care! And, no worries, I have been listening to some of your ideas but, you may have to be a little patient to see them come to fruition!_


	15. WORDS

**Chapter 15**

.

"So… my daughter and your son are _not_ dating?"

Jim Beckett was standing in the middle of Castle's living room having a conversation with Martha Rodgers. It was Thanksgiving and they had both been forbidden to help with the preparations. All that was left for them to do was drink and discuss their children behind their backs. Martha had made them both a cocktail but Jim had taken one sip and was now only holding it in his hand as a sign of courtesy. They were observing Kate and Castle in the kitchen – bickering, as usual.

"Oh, they're together," Martha replied, "They just don't know that they are. Or, they know that they are but they're just not telling anybody that they are." She glanced at the interaction happening between her son and Kate and added, "Not that they really have to, I suppose."

"When Katie called me, she kept telling me not to look too much into this dinner invitation," Jim shook his head and continued, amused, "Emphasizing how she and Rick were t_echn_ically not –"

Martha cut him off. "Mark my words, Jim, they'll be married, at the very least _engaged_, this time next year."

Jim Beckett arched his eyebrows and looked from Castle to Martha. "So, should I be concerned?"

Martha chuckled. "Your daughter will break his heart before he ever has a chance to break hers."

"My Katie would nev—"

"Oh, I'm not saying that she _will_. I'm just saying that she's good at keeping him in line. She's a feisty one." Martha smiled at Jim. "I like her."

Jim smiled back and then admitted, "I haven't quite decided what I think of your son."

"I think he's good for Kate but, then again, I might be a little biased." Martha paused, then added, "Jim, my son might not be a lot of things but I will say this: he's as loyal as they come."

They both turned back to look at the pair who had since been joined by their daughters. Kate was teaching Alexis how to tell when the turkey was ready and Castle was carrying Zoey in his arms, letting her taste the cranberry sauce he had just finished making.

Jim winked at Martha. "A year, you say?"

.

The next night, Kate got home from work and instead of seeing Alexis and Castle engaged in a movie night, she heard both their voices and Zoey's laughter drifting down from the second floor.

She took off her jacket, draped it over the banister and made her way quietly up the stairs. As she neared Castle's room, she realised that he and Alexis were reading Zoey a story, complete with voices. Kate silently leaned against the doorway, smiling at the sight of Zoey squished happily in-between the two of them. While Castle and Alexis read from the adapted storybook, Zoey was flipping through the original illustrated copy, mouthing random words and pretending to follow along.

They were so engrossed in what they were doing that Kate thought she went unnoticed until Castle's quirk of the lips as he turned the page told her that he knew she had been standing there the whole time. Still, he didn't interrupt his smooth recital.

When he got to the last line on the page, instead of changing his voice to suit the character, he continued in his own. "'I'll eat you up'—" he read, gaze flicking up to meet her eyes, "—'I love you, so.'"

When he didn't immediately flip the page, Alexis looked up and noticed Kate standing in the doorway. Her lips curved up into the enchanted smile of somebody who still believed in magic. As nonchalantly as she could manage, Alexis said, "I think she knows, dad."

Kate pushed herself away from the doorjamb and walked over to the bed. "I do," she replied, just as casually. She plopped herself down next to a beaming Alexis. "Oh, well hey there, Zo," she said, chuckling as her daughter climbed over Alexis to wrap her tiny arms around her neck and give her a sloppy kiss.

"Grr. Monsters," said Zoey, making what she thought was a scary (but really was just an adorable) face.

Alexis laughed. "We've been having a monster night."

"Oh, really?" Kate said in surprise.

Castle nodded. "Alexis and I have been showing Zo that some monsters can be friendly," he looked pointedly at Kate over Alexis' head, "You know, that not all monsters are scary and mean and _hide under your bed_?"

"Ohh," said Kate, understanding. Zoey had started having nightmares and every night for the past two weeks, she had been stubbornly insisting that all the lights be kept on while she slept.

"We watched _Monsters, Inc._," said Alexis.

"I don't think I've seen it," said Kate to Castle's gasps of horror.

Kate rolled her eyes at him and then asked Zoey (with a lot of help from Castle and Alexis) to tell her all about what happened in the movie and the monsters that she liked.

.

Castle startled awake in the middle of the night and rubbed his eyes, confused about the brightness.

He sat up slowly and saw that the television was still on, the screen blue from idling. The four of them had been watching _My Neighbour Totoro _and they must have all gradually fallen asleep. Castle picked up the remote control from the side table and shut the TV off. As he went to turn off the lamp on her side of the bed, Kate stirred.

"Hey," she said, sleepily.

He smiled. "Hey."

She lifted her head a little to check out their sleeping arrangements. Alexis was beside her, body turned to the side so that her fanned out red hair mingled with Kate's brown locks. She had an arm wrapped protectively around Zoey who, until just a couple of minutes ago, had been flanked on the other side by Castle. "Should we try to get them back into their rooms?" she whispered.

Castle shook his head. "I don't want to wake them up," then added with a grin, "Besides it's cosier this way."

Kate was too tired to debate the point further and nobody looked squished in the big bed so she just nodded and pulled the covers up tighter around them. "Good night," she said.

Castle bent down and kissed her softly. "'Night."

**.**

Kate returned to Castle's bedroom after making herself a cup of coffee. Castle, Alexis, and Zoey were still asleep, cuddled up together in a way that made Kate wish she could find a camera. Being able to witness the scene before her made it worth it, for once, to always be the first one up.

She slipped back into bed, placing her mug gently on the bedside table. Soon enough, Zoey started stirring, eventually wriggling around comically until she saw that she wasn't the only one up.

"Ssh," said Kate, putting a finger on her lips. "Rick and Lexi are still sleeping."

Zoey tried to crawl carefully over Alexis' body but, being two, couldn't control her clumsy movements as well as she thought. Once Alexis woke up, it wasn't long before the noise woke Castle up as well.

He glanced at the clock and groaned. "It's seven o'clock on a Saturday. It's against the law to be up so early."

"Castle, I _am_ the law."

"Not at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning."

Alexis hit Castle on the head with her pillow when he attempted to close his eyes again. "There's no way you can fall back asleep now, dad," she said, laughing.

"Well, not with you guys in the room," he replied.

Alexis looked at Kate. "Do you have to work today?"

"Nope. I got today and tomorrow off."

Castle looked up. "How did you manage that?"

"Karpowski wanted as much time as she could get away from her visiting relatives this weekend."

Castle grinned. "The holidays are such a special time, aren't they?"

Alexis perked up. "I know what we can do today! Let's decorate the house!"

"Yes!" Castle sat up, suddenly pumped. "Oo. Do we have the ingredients to make gingerbread cookies? There's no decorating without cookies."

.

Kate's moment of epiphany never happened. At least, not in the way James Joyce described it.

It definitely wasn't a moment of surrender where she decided to just stop fighting with her feelings; a curtain never lifted to reveal that she had been living in a state of denial for this entire time; and she didn't suddenly have a rom-com moment where the character realises that the person they love is their childhood best friend.

It was one morning, amongst many similar mornings, sometime after Thanksgiving.

"Castle." Kate had just walked out of the washroom and was now securing her watch. She knelt down beside the bed where Castle was still half-asleep.

"What?" he mumbled, turning his head to face her.

She placed her arms on the bed and rested her chin on them, inches away from his face. "We should go on a date."

His eyes blinked open drowsily.

"A real date," she added.

He closed the inconsequential space between their lips and gave her a soft kiss. "Sure," he answered. His eyes drifted shut but his fingers reached out to seek hers. He squeezed them tightly before releasing her.

As Kate walked down the hallway, she heard Castle's voice ringing out after her.

"Katherine Beckett," he said, "We are not just a coincidence."

* * *

_A/N: The story they were reading was _Where the Wild Things Are _by Maurice Sedak. It was turned into a pretty awesome movie in 2009 with Spike Jonze as the director and Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) doing the soundtrack! Read it. Watch it. Love it._


	16. BECAUSE

**_*_**_A/N: This is the **clean** version - if you want to read the M-rated version of this chapter, it is posted in a separate story entitled _**Separation Anxiety: Album Version**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 16**

.

"Dad, are you n_erv_ous?"

"I don't know. Am I?"

Alexis observed the way Castle was fumbling with his tie. She swatted his hand away and did it up herself. "You definitely are," she answered. She stepped back to observe her handiwork.

"Did Kate seem nervous when she came by to drop Zoey off?"

"Well, she asked me what she should wear in this, kind of, panicky tone, so yeah, I'd say she was." Alexis grinned. "You know that you guys are being ridiculous right? I mean this might be your first 'official' date but you've been together for, like, a _year_."

"Not a year," Castle denied.

Alexis pretended to consider his answer. "You're right. More like a year and a half. Ever since you stopped dating women from parties and she broke up with that guy."

Castle shook his head and smiled. "So, you're okay with all of this?"

Now, Alexis really did roll her eyes. "First of all, that question really should have been asked a year and a half ago. Second of all, it's _about time_ you two made it official."

"We couldn't have pulled off the 'we're just really, _really_ good friends' bit any longer, huh?"

"Dad, you and Kate have keys to each other's apartments; she spends at least a third of her nights here; and besides, I've already been telling all of my friends that Zoey's my new little sister." At her dad's raised eyebrows, she added, "You and Kate need little pushes to make you acknowledge reality. I'm just doing my duty as a daughter."

"Uh huh. Sure." Castle glanced at his watch, "So, do you think I've given her enough time to change?"

"Are you asking me because I'm a girl or because I know Kate so well?" Alexis asked cheekily.

He grinned. "Both."

.

Castle knocked on Kate's door, even though he had the key. He figured this was a special occasion and he shouldn't just burst in like he usually did.

"Come in!" he heard her call out.

Castle closed the door behind him just as Kate exited the kitchen. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder silk patterned dress.

"You look…" he trailed off.

She smiled at the unstated compliment. "Thanks." She kissed him lightly on the lips as she brushed past him. "Just let me get my purse and we'll go."

Castle nodded.

Kate took no more than five steps before she paused abruptly and whirled back around. She looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" he asked.

"I just realised what I did," she answered.

"What did you do?" he paused. "You mean, kissing me?"

"Yeah," Kate made an awkward gesture. "Sorry."

"You're apologizing for kissing me?"

"Yes, I mean, no…" she paused again. "It's just… it felt like I did it out of habit."

Castle was still confused. "So?"

"S_o_, this is our first real date. A first-date kiss shouldn't be done out of _habit_. It should be one of those awkward situations at the end of the night with you walking me to the door and me fiddling with my keys… you know, awkward."

The corners of Castle's lips twitched in amusement.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Okay. Clearly you aren't thinking about this as hard as I am… so, yeah. I'm really going to get my purse now—"

Castle grinned fully. "Hold on," he dragged out teasingly, grabbing her wrist to bring her back to him.

Kate groaned, "Don't turn this into a joke at my expense."

Castle pulled her close and kissed her gently. "I liked it, you kissing me familiarly. It's my favourite way of being greeted by you."

She smiled against his lips and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "If I greeted you like that all the time, you'd get bored of me."

He brought his arms around her waist. "I don't think I could _ever_ get bored of this," he said. He eased his tongue between her lips and started to kiss her more passionately. "How hungry are you?" he asked, moving his mouth to whisper breathlessly against her ear.

"Not that—" she gasped as he sucked at her pulse point, "—hungry."

Unlike the first time they kissed, the first time they made love was mind-blowing and electric. Most likely due to the fact that they had waited so incredibly long for this – for each other.

And as soon as they had done it once, that was it. The dam had been broken and there was nothing that could stop the flood of desire flowing through them. Compulsion turned into want, which turned into a need that wouldn't be sated.

Needless to say, they didn't make their reservation.

.

Sometime later, they both came to their senses long enough to notice the time.

"Oh crap," said Kate, sitting up in bed, covers exposing her body from the waist up. Castle reached out to wrap his arms around her middle in order to pull her on top of him but she resisted. "Castle, it's eleven," she said. "When did you tell Alexis we'd be home?"

"Oh crap," he repeated. "Where's my phone?"

He leaned over Kate to fumble for his phone, remembering that it had fallen out of his jacket and onto the floor beside the bed. Kate cursed her body for reacting to even that small movement of her torso on top of hers.

Castle finally managed to find his phone but he stayed on top of her. His grin made her realise that he had noticed as well. As he waited for the call to connect, he brushed his tongue across that sensitive spot right below her ear and watched as she squirmed underneath him.

Kate heard Alexis' '_hello?_' float through the line.

"Hi honey," Castle answered, "How's everything going?"

Alexis answered that Zoey had already gone to bed and that everything was fine. Castle nodded. "Listen, do you think you could hold the fort tonight?" he asked.

Alexis' '_why?_' sounded more than a little amused.

"Well, we just came back to Kate's place after dinner and since it's getting late, we're just going to stay here tonight." All three of them knew he was lying.

'_Uh huh_,' came Alexis' response. '_What was that?_' she asked when Kate couldn't stop a gasp from escaping her mouth as Castle's hand continued to do whatever it was that he did so well. '_Never mind_,' said Alexis, '_I don't want to know._'

"Okay honey," Castle said, with a grin down at Kate. "You have a good night, 'k?"

As soon as he ended the call, Kate pulled him down against her. Her tongue was hot against his and they kissed passionately until she abruptly pulled away. Even with pupils dilated from her aroused state, she still managed to scare him with her glare, "You're fucking evil," she said.

.

They ordered pizza around one o'clock. It had been hard to acknowledge that kind of hunger when there were more important things to do with their time. Still, their growling stomachs made them recognize the need for nourishment if only so they could continue to use up their energy in more stimulating ways later.

They were sitting in the living room. He, on the couch with his boxers on and she, cross-legged on the floor in a robe. The pizza place had gotten their order wrong and had put olives on both sides instead of just Kate's.

"Hey, Kate?" Castle said as he studiously picked off the offensive topping from his slice.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

"I don't know," she turned her head to look up at him, "Do you want me to?"

He shrugged. "I don't really care. I was just curious."

"You're just Castle to me," she said. She finished off her pizza and wiped her fingers with a napkin. "I mean, you _used_ to call me Kate only when you needed to catch my attention but—" she moved up off the floor, "—I can get you to obey me just by changing the tone I use with you."

Castle grinned when she started to straddle him on the couch. He threw his unfinished slice into the pizza box and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You might have to demonstrate what you mean."

She smiled seductively, sliding her robe off slowly. "For example," she said and then leaned to place her mouth against his ear, "If I say your name breathlessly, _Castle_, I know half a dozen images of me naked and in various scandalous positions just floated across your mind – " she purposely ground her hips down against him "—and you're just _waiting_ for me to let you do me right here on the couch." She looked into his eyes innocently, "Am I right?"

"Well, if I do, it's because you're so damn hot when you say things like that," he replied, clenching his jaw as she continued to tease him.

He very nearly exploded when she placed her lips inches from his and murmured, "So, _Castle_, tell me what you want to do to me."

.

"Was it me?"

They were back in Kate's bed. It was a guarantee that one or both of them would be sore tomorrow.

Kate was resting her head on his chest and at his question she turned to peer up at him. "What?"

He repeated, "Was there something that made you not want to be with me?" he didn't sound hurt, just curious. "Why didn't you want to make _us_ official until now?"

"It wasn't you," she answered, turning her head away again. "I mean, after a while, it wasn't about you."

"What do you mean, 'after a while'?"

"Do you remember that summer – maybe three summers ago – when you asked me to go to the Hamptons with you and then you ended up taking Gina?"

Castle nodded. "Yes. But, you said 'no'…"

"I did say 'no'." She fiddled with the edge of the comforter and tried to speak as casually as possible. "But, I wanted to say 'yes'."

"What?" he exclaimed, "You never told me!"

"I _tried_," Kate said, sitting up. "I broke up with Demming and then I tried to tell you…"

"…at the going away party…" he said, suddenly remembering that she had wanted to tell him something at the time.

Kate nodded.

"So, that's why you didn't want to be with me?" he asked, recognition flooding his consciousness. "You thought I would leave?"

"I'm not a sharer like you are Castle. I don't like to just throw my feelings out there for the world to see."

Castle sat up beside her and placed a hand on her bare leg. "I know that, Kate."

"It was really hard for me to let you back into my life after that," she said, "But then I did and everything was fine. We went back to getting on each other's nerves and dating other people and that was okay." Kate leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "And even when you started taking care of Zoey, I was weary. As she started spending more time with you, I… it wasn't about me anymore..."

"You didn't want Zoey to get hurt."

She opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. "But you never left."

"No, I didn't."

"You never strayed and you never even considered dating anyone else." Kate sighed. "But I knew you were serious when Alexis started getting attached to Zo. You wouldn't have let that happen if you had just been after me for the thrill of the chase."

"Kate, I _was _serious. I was always serious. About Zoey. About you." He placed a hand on her cheek and made her look at him.

Kate jerked her head away. "So, that's when it became about me," she said. She sounded embarrassed and hesitant. "You became such a big part of Zoey's life – of _my_ life – and I just started getting scared. Because making it official? That would mean that if something did happen and you decided you didn't want us anymore – then I would really lose something." She paused to take a deep breath. "I would have lost you and my relationship with Alexis and your _friendship_. I would have lost all of those things, all at once, forever."

Castle heard her unspoken words. Kate had already lost somebody she loved once before and it had nearly destroyed her. Still, Castle knew that there were no promises he could make that would reassure her or lesson the pain of her haunted past. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her body. "I can't make you believe that I won't leave you," he said, "You just have to trust that I won't."

She let him kiss her and slide them back down onto the mattress. He hovered over her and looked into her eyes. "It's always been you, Kate," he whispered, "You don't have to worry about that."

"I still don't believe in fate or magic, Castle," she said, smiling at the feeling of his fingers stroking her bare stomach.

He grinned. "I know. You like to colour within the lines."

She responded teasingly, "And you don't even _see _the lines. To you, the world is just one, big, giant piece of blank paper."

"Yes, that's true. But—" he laced their fingers together, "—when I look into that world, the only person I ever want to share my crayons with is you."

* * *

_A/N: The next few chapters take on just a bit more of a serious/angsty tone but no worries, interspersed will be some fluff that I know you guys crave so much! :)_

_And GUYS, as if you could forget, ONE MORE DAY UNTIL THE EPICNESS. _


	17. I

**Chapter 17**

.

Ryan and Esposito looked at the clock, then at Beckett, then at each other. A slow grin started to spread across their faces.

"Hey Beckett," said Esposito, rolling his chair until it stopped beside her desk, "You're late."

The boys didn't miss the kitten heels she wore today instead of her usual ridiculously high stilettos.

"Yeah, did you have some trouble getting out of bed this morning?" Ryan added, sliding up next to Esposito.

Kate glared at them. "If you guys have something to say, just say it."

Esposito elbowed Ryan when he noticed how gingerly Kate sat down in her chair. "So… busy night?" he said.

"Don't you guys have some work to do?" she shot back.

"Where was your date last night?" Ryan asked.

"I stayed at home."

"I beg to differ." Esposito grinned. "Somebody told me you took Zoey over to Castle's house last night."

"Who told you that?"

"It doesn't matter. What _matters_ is whether you took her over so _Castle _could babysit her or whether you left her there with Little Castle."

"Is there a question in there somewhere?" Kate looked back and forth between Ryan and Esposito. They only continued to smile knowingly at each other. "Okay, then. I'm going to leave you two girls here to gossip while I go see about that dead body from yesterday."

Kate walked swiftly down to the morgue and pointed a finger accusingly at Lanie upon her entrance. "You told them!"

Lanie looked as innocent as she possibly could given the sharp weapon she was holding in her hand. "So, how was your night?"

Kate jumped up onto an empty exam table. "Did you tell them it was Castle?"

"Are you seriously telling me that you want to keep your relationship a secret? Because, honey, I can guarantee you it is the worst kept secret in the entire world."

"_No_, I'm not purposely trying to hide anything but I also don't feel like I need to announce it to everybody since really, it's none of their business," Kate said, "I mean, if they _asked_ me, I would tell them – like you said, there's no reason to deny it."

Lanie looked up mid-incision. "So, all they have to do is ask you?"

"Yup."

"Like, straight up, ask if you and writer boy are in an official relationship?"

"That's right."

"That is never going to happen."

Kate grinned. "I know."

Lanie smirked. "Okay so, where did you _really _go last night?" At Kate's raised eyebrows, Lanie gestured to her cellphone. "Esposito texted me saying that you claimed to have stayed at home last night."

"I told you, Lanie. I'm not lying about anything."

"But you had a date with Castle last night." Lanie phrased it as a sentence that was really meant to be a question.

Kate's smile was downright devious. "That's right."

Lanie's eyes grew wider and wider as her brain arrived at the meaning of Kate's words. "Do you mean to tell me that you and Castle—" Lanie made a slightly lewd gesture with the scalpel and clamp in her hands, "—_all night_?"

Kate nodded.

"_Damn_ girl! It's about time!" Lanie exclaimed and then lowered her voice to a more conspiratorial level. "So, tell me. Are the rumours true? On a scale of one to ten – ten being the best you've ever had – "

Kate didn't even bother to hide the naughty glint in her eye when she responded. "Eleven."

.

Castle arrived at the station with Zoey in his Santa hat. It was two weeks until Christmas.

"Wow Castle, don't you two look festive," said Esposito as he passed by him and Ryan.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Castle replied cheerily.

"Ohh, that is the most adorable thing ever," said Kate, having spotted Castle and Zoey herself. Castle's eye twinkled and Kate rolled her eyes. "I meant my daughter."

Zoey had on a bright red dress over white stockings and her purple winter boots. Her curly brown hair was pulled back in a reindeer headband. She twirled around for Kate. "Pretty, mommy?" she asked.

Kate picked Zoey up onto her lap and gave her a kiss. "You look very, very pretty, Zo."

"Are you ready to go?" asked Castle. He was picking her up from work today so they could do some Christmas shopping. There were still a few more people they had to buy gifts for.

Kate shut down her computer and tucked a few files away. "Now I am," she replied. Castle helped her into her jacket and she kissed him on the cheek – the extent of Kate's willingness to engage in public displays of affection – after she wrapped her scarf around her neck. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Esposito and Ryan staring at them. It was the second time that Castle had picked her up from work since they had officially started dating and they _still_ hadn't asked her about their relationship.

Kate gave them both a little wave as she walked towards the elevator with Castle and Zoey. "See you tomorrow," she said with an impish grin.

"Still haven't asked you yet, huh?" Castle said as the doors slid shut.

.

The stores were crowded, the lines were long, and all of the shoppers looked panicked and frazzled. Kate probably would have been a lot more annoyed at all of the madness had Zoey not been with her. She elicited a lot of smiles as she cheerfully skipped among the adults, holding onto Kate and Castle's hands. Even the overworked and underpaid sales associates became friendlier after Zoey charmingly handed them one of the candy canes that Castle had put into the little drawstring pouch she was carrying.

"Your daughter is just the most gorgeous thing," said the cashier as Castle was paying for some books at Barnes & Noble. Kate had lifted Zoey up onto the counter and was busy trying to detangle some of her hair from the left antler.

She smiled when she heard Castle reply, "Thanks. She takes after her mom."

"Well, you three have a wonderful holiday season," she said, handing Castle his receipt.

"Thank you," said Kate, "You too."

After they had walked out of the store and rejoined the bustle of the street, Castle turned to Kate and asked, "So, how serious were you last night?"

"About what?"

"About not spending any money on each other's Christmas present."

"What Castle? Are you having trouble?" Kate grinned. "I thought you were supposed to be creative."

"Hey! Don't attack my creativity," he replied indignantly.

Kate stopped her teasing. "Castle, I was very serious," she answered. "You always spend so much money on Zoey and I—" Kate held up a finger when it looked like he was about to interrupt, "—and I know you don't mind or care about things like that. I've even stopped getting angry with you for leaving me random gifts because by now, we both know that I don't need or want you to buy me _any_thing. So, if it makes you happy to buy me a new coffee machine or get Zoey a reindeer headband then I'm happy, too."

"So what's wrong with getting you a present on the biggest present-giving holiday of the year?" Castle asked.

"I don't want you to buy me a gift. I already _know_ that you could buy me anything I could conceivably want, that you would fly around the world in order to get it for me," Kate smirked, "Letting you buy a present for me would be way too easy."

"So, this is a challenge?"

"Well, it's a challenge for me, too," said Kate. She glanced sideways at Castle and gave him a small smile. "I just want our presents to mean something more than an expensive price tag and the prospect of owning another shiny new toy."

Castle shook his head and smiled back. "You always manage to keep me on my toes, Kate Beckett."

.

Three days before Christmas and Castle still didn't know what he was going to give Kate.

It wasn't that he didn't have any ideas – in fact, he had a _lot_. That was the downfall of being creative. He could come up with any number of gifts but not one of them seemed right. He was making dinner with Alexis that night, radio tuned to a station that played Christmas music 24 hours a day, when it struck him.

He quickly picked up his cellphone and scrolled through the contacts. He only had a day and a half before his annual Christmas party and he would definitely require some assistance.

.

"They will not be able to live that down." Kate was standing in the kitchen with one arm wrapped around her waist. She accepted the drink from Castle with her other hand.

"I didn't even know Esposito could sing," Castle replied.

They were both watching Lanie and Esposito singing '_Baby It's Cold Outside_' while being serenaded on the piano by one of Martha's musical theatre buddies. The party was in full swing at the Castle residence and most of the guests were either buzzed or quickly getting there.

"Did I mention how gorgeous you look tonight?" said Castle. Kate was wearing a red silk A-line dress that made up for its demure neckline with a plunging back and Castle had been using every excuse he could that evening to touch the exposed skin.

"Maybe once or twice," she replied.

He pulled her back against him and she tilted her head to let him place teasing kisses on her neck. Kate laughed and pushed him away with he got a little handsy.

"Well, at least I'm not as bad as Lanie and Esposito. Those two are not shy about their public displays of affection."

"Let's hope Ryan doesn't give them any more reason to. Now that he's drunk, he's just getting gutsier at luring people to the mistletoe." Kate nodded at yet another unsuspecting couple wandering dangerously close to the little sprig.

As if on cue, Lanie approached and interrupted their conversation. Castle took the opportunity to excuse himself, ostensibly so they could chat. Kate got so wrapped up in gossip and conversation that she didn't notice what was being set up behind her until she heard a clearing of the throat over a microphone.

"What in the world?" Kate asked when she turned around.

"Excuse me everybody," Castle was saying as he stood on the bottom step. "Sorry to interrupt the festivities but I would like to share something special that I have prepared for an extraordinary person."

"No way." Kate muttered under her breath in disbelief.

"Yes, that's right. He's talking about you, girl," said Lanie. As her best friend pushed her through the group of people to the front of the room, Kate realised that the conversation they had been having had been a way to distract her.

Castle signalled to somebody on his right and he grinned at her when the opening notes to a familiar song filled the room. If people had still been questioning her and Castle's relationship status, all of their doubts flew out the window when he pointed right at her and sang:

_I just want you for my own_

_More than you could ever know_

_Make my wish come true_

_All I want for Christmas is you..._

Kate's face was turning red but she had to laugh when Esposito and Ryan suddenly appeared behind Castle and started doing the back-up vocals. He had even recruited Alexis and Zoey to 'play' the drums and the tambourine.

Eventually, everybody started to sing along when they realised that while Castle did manage to stay in tune, him and the boys weren't actually very good. Even Kate stopped being embarrassed and danced with Zoey in her arms when the little girl got bored with the tambourine.

Kate shook her head at a grinning Castle when the song ended and he made his way over to her. Amidst the clapping, Ryan got his kiss under the mistletoe when he held the plant over the two of them. Kate broke her own rule and pulled Castle in for a sizzling kiss.

.

Kate waited until Christmas Eve to give Castle his present. She and Zoey were sleeping over so that they could open presents together in the loft (and so that Castle could slip a present to Zoey from 'Santa' underneath the tree).

Castle was already in bed, reading a book, when Kate walked out of the bathroom. She kneeled onto the bed and waited until Castle looked at her expectantly.

"It's my turn to give you your present," said Kate.

Castle rubbed his hands together ecstatically. "Is it naughty?"

Kate slapped his hands. "No!"

"I had to ask."

"No, you really didn't."

Castle grinned. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Well, you remember the first time we met?" she started.

"Of course. You were hauling me in for questioning at my own book party," he answered, "How could I forget?"

"Right." Kate nodded and then shifted a little on the bed. "Except… that wasn't actually the first time we met."

"What're you talking about?"

"I went to one of your book signings—"

Castle's gleeful gasp interrupted her story. "I _knew _it! You were totally a giggly, obsessed fangirl, weren't you?"

"Castle."

"Right. Calm." He tried to control his joy. "Continue."

"_As _I was saying, I went to one of your book signings with a friend – we lined up for an hour – and when we actually got to the front of the line, I was too shy—"

"—you mean star-struck?"

Kate glared at him, "—too _shy_ to say anything so my friend did all of the talking. I was so glad to later discover that you could not possibly remember anything she had told you since you have the attention span of a cocker spaniel."

"I'm going to ignore that comment," Castle interjected and then smiled mischievously. "What did your friend say about you to me? Was it embarrassing?"

"It wasn't embarrassing," said Kate, starting to look uncomfortable, "Just really personal." Her voice suddenly became sombre. "I didn't really get into your books until my second year of college. When I was 19."

Castle sobered immediately. He knew, then, what the personal information had been.

"After my mom was—" Kate paused as if unable to say the actual word. She dropped her gaze and rephrased. "My friend was the one who told you that your words helped me get through something horrible."

Castle placed a hand on her knee and said with all seriousness. "I wasn't a jerk, was I?"

Kate's lips quirked up into a tiny smile. "No, you weren't a jerk. I don't think you even knew what to say to that. My friend kind of just kept talking, saying that I loved your gruesome murders more than I loved boys playing boom boxes outside my bedroom window."

"That's probably still true," he said, trying to keep the mood light.

Kate chuckled a little at that. "We ended up taking a Polaroid," she continued after a pause, "You offered to sign it but your pen had run out of ink."

Castle had an odd expression on his face then. "You had a marker, didn't you?"

Kate nodded. "In my purse." She leaned back and reached for her book on the side table. It naturally opened to a section in the middle. "This is my present for you," she said, handing him the Polaroid that had been marking the page, "The _real_ first picture of us ever taken."

Castle looked down and saw younger versions of him and Kate staring back. He had looped his arm around her shoulder and instead of looking at the camera, they had been looking at each other with smiles on their faces. On the bottom of the photo, he had written: "_I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen_."

He looked up at her. "I remember this."

"Oh, you so do _not_!" she exclaimed. "That was at least ten years ago."

"Okay, I don't remember the actual conversation I had with your friend and obviously, I didn't remember that it was you specifically but I remember signing this," he said, waving the picture insistently. "You are still the only person who has thought of getting me to sign a Polaroid _and_ the memory stuck because I had just done that whole 'standing outside my girlfriend's window playing music in order to get her forgiveness' thing a couple of days before that book signing."

"You're serious?" Kate asked in disbelief.

"Yes!" Castle looked amused. "Whenever I re-watched that movie, I didn't think about the fact that I didn't win my girlfriend back – all I thought about was the Polaroid Girl. I can't believe that was you!"

Kate shook her head. "This is… not possible."

Castle was completely excited. "See Kate? What did I say about you and me? It was absolutely—"

"—Castle, do not even think about saying 'fate'."

"Okay, how about 'meant to be'?"

"That's the same thing."

"This is magic."

"Coincidence."

Castle placed the picture carefully back between the pages of her book and dropped it on the floor beside him. "Whatever," he said, "I'm definitely getting that framed."

Kate smiled. "I have to admit. I probably would have never remembered that picture or thought about showing it to you if it hadn't been for the fact that I had no idea what to give you."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one," Castle replied.

"Still, aren't you glad that we decided to do this?"

Castle nodded. "But next year, I get to choose the challenge," he said with a grin.

Kate slipped underneath the covers. "We'll see," she replied warily. She reached up to turn off her lamp and then rolled onto her side to glance up at Castle. "This has been a good Christmas."

"You sound surprised," he said.

"Usually my Christmases are quieter," said Kate, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's been just my dad and I for so long."

Castle slid down so that he could look Kate directly in the eye. "Now it never has to be."

Kate smiled softly and leaned forward to brush her lips against his. "Merry Christmas, Castle."

He surprised her when he refused to let her pull away, manoeuvring himself on top of her instead. She encouraged him to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer and parting her lips so that his tongue could tangle with hers. His hands started to stroke up and under her shirt and she wrapped her legs around him so that she could arch her body up against his. He parted away just long enough to murmur, "Best. Christmas. _Ever_."

* * *

_A/N: The reference made about "boys playing boom boxes outside her bedroom window" and the subsequent line "I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen" are from the (classic) 1989 movie _Say Anything.

_Also, I'm posting this chapter a day early because I'm going to be laptop-less for the next few days as I am taking a little trip to New York City (for reals, yo) to visit family! This also means that there will be a slight delay in posting the next chapter (since I won't be back in time for my normal Sunday update…) I apologize! But, I will update ASAP after I return! :) Y'all rock my socks off with your reviews and I'm glad you guys liked both versions of their "first date"!_


	18. HAVE

**Chapter 18**

.

"Mommy!"

Between Kate and Castle's closed bedroom door and Zoey's room down the hall, Kate barely stirred when the little girl kept yelling for her.

"Moommyy!" There was a pause and then, "Daddy!... Daaddyy!"

Castle finally jerked awake at the noise, scrubbing at his eyes and glancing at the clock. 2:34 a.m. He briefly wondered if he had imagined the yelling but…

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Nope. Definitely had not imagined that.

He lifted the covers and toed the carpet for his slippers, shivering at the sudden loss of heat. Shuffling out of the room quietly so as not to wake up Kate, he turned on the hallway light only after he had closed the door behind him. The brightness made him squint his way to Zoey's room where she was still yelling, albeit softer, for them.

"Hey Zo," Castle whispered as he opened the door, sending a shaft of light into her room. He heard her quiet sobs as he approached the bed. "What's wrong?"

Zoey crawled into his lap as soon as he sat down. "Scary noise," she sniffled.

Castle hugged her tight, trying to pull the covers around her at the same time so she wouldn't get cold. "It's just the wind, honey," he said, "It's snowing outside."

Zoey shook her head and grasped onto Castle's shirt with one of her hands. "Snow not scary," she replied.

"Well, it just doesn't sound nice because it's a snowstorm but when you wake up tomorrow morning, the ground will be beautiful and white. Then you can make snow angels and snowmen," Castle said, "Doesn't that sound good?"

At that moment, a large gust of wind made Zoey's windows rattle. She immediately huddled closer and whimpered. Castle stroked her hair soothingly. "How about I stay in here with you until you fall back asleep?" he asked.

"Not sleepy," she murmured around the thumb in her mouth.

Castle knew Zoey was lying from the yawn that followed but he also knew that she would be unable to fall back asleep as long as the wind continued to shriek outside her window. More importantly, Castle had a feeling Zoey would refuse to let him leave her side.

Castle grabbed the silk-lined blue fleece blanket draped over the foot of the bed and wrapped it around Zoey. "All right, kiddo," he said, lifting her up, "How about we go get some warm milk then?"

Zoey nodded, leaning her head against his chest as he carried her down the stairs. As the milk heated up on the stove, he walked them over to the window. New York City at night always seemed to enchant Zoey, with its silhouetted skyline lit up in bright colours. Castle hoped that the familiar landscape would soothe her even as it was currently being pelted with whirling bits of ice.

"Hey." Kate's voice behind them made him startle.

"Hey," he said, turning around. "Did I wake you?"

She turned off the stove as he made his way over with Zoey. "Well, the bed got a little cold," she replied with a smile. She finished pouring the milk into one of Zoey's cups before leaning over to give the little girl a kiss on the cheek. She blew on the drink for a couple of minutes and then handed it to Zoey. "Be careful, Zo," she cautioned, "It's hot so take little sips."

Kate caught Castle's eye once Zoey was preoccupied with the drink. "Snowstorm?" she mouthed.

Castle nodded. Being careful not to jostle Zoey, he wrapped an arm around Kate's waist to pull her closer. "She didn't just call for you," he whispered into her ear, "She called for me, too."

Kate leaned back to look at him. "Yeah," she said, wondering why he thought that was peculiar, "So?"

The expression that accompanied his shrug was enigmatic. Before Kate could question him further, Zoey tugged at her robe.

"Done, mommy," she said.

Kate put the cup in the sink and wiped Zoey's mouth with a paper towel. "Are you ready to go back to sleep now?" she asked.

Zoey shook her head stubbornly but her eyes were already starting to droop.

"C'mon, Zo," Kate said, making a gesture for Castle to start moving towards the stairs, "How about I tuck you in again?"

"No," Zoey blinked drowsily, "Sleep with you and daddy."

Kate paused, her right foot stilling over the first step. Her eyes flicked over to Castle who simply nodded. "She _called_ for you," Kate murmured, finally understanding his earlier words.

She stayed silent for the rest of the way up, expression inscrutable.

"Are you freaking out right now?" he asked as they walked into the bedroom. Kate got back into bed, reaching up to relieve Castle of the nearly asleep Zoey in his arms so that he could climb in too. They let Zoey wriggle around between them until she could tuck comfortably into Kate's side while staying within grasping distance of Castle.

"I'm way too tired to think about it right now," Kate finally replied, "Remind me to freak out about it in the morning, 'k?"

Castle answered with a smile, conveying amusement at his and Kate's reactions. But, as he gently stroked the little hand resting palm down beside his pillow, he couldn't help but feel joy at the possibility of being a _daddy _to another little girl.

.

The conversation was postponed for several days. Not because either one of them was avoiding it but simply because it never came up again when they happened to be together. Kate and Zoey didn't sleep over for the next couple of days – Kate still refused to do her laundry at Castle's and she had run out of clean work clothes – and then on the weekend, she drove up to White Plains so that Zoey could spend some time with her grandpa.

Castle wondered if Zoey had just been tired that night and, without knowing the meaning of the word, hadn't really understood the gravity of the moniker. After all, Zoey spent a lot of time with Alexis who, obviously, called him 'dad'. And, in stories that they read to her, mommies and daddies seemed to be linked (as much as they tried to expose her to different kinds of families). In simple imitation and being as much of a primary caregiver as Kate, Zoey must have taken all of that information and assumed that if Kate could also be called 'mommy' then Castle could also be called 'daddy'.

Unfortunately, when the topic _did_ come up again, it was much more public.

Alexis was home for the weekend and they had all decided to go to _Serendipity_ for desserts. Zoey had already drawn stares – of the 'how adorable, I wish I had one of those' variety – from others in the tiny restaurant when her order of a Freckleface Strawberry Sundae had arrived and she had squealed in delight. Kate and Castle had been sharing a 'Can't Say No' Sundae, not really paying attention to the fact that Alexis had been using her eyeliner pencil to draw on Zoey's face.

That is until Zoey said loudly, "Daddy, look!"

Kate almost did a spit-take with the melting ice cream in her mouth. Not at what Zoey wanted to show them – that Alexis had drawn little freckles on her cheeks – but at the spontaneous repetition of a word whose meaning was still undetermined, as she and Castle had forgotten to have that particular discussion.

"You don't like it, mommy?" Zoey asked when she didn't get the immediate response she was looking for.

"Oh! Zo, of course I like it!" Kate said, after quickly swallowing that last spoonful of ice cream. "You look very nice."

Zoey beamed and went back to eating her previously abandoned sundae. Alexis, on the other hand, looked amused at Kate's reaction. "I guess you guys never talked about it?" Alexis said to Castle.

Alexis was referring to hearing Zoey call Castle 'daddy' during the entirety of Friday movie night. She had no idea that it hadn't been an isolated event.

"Your dad told you about the snowstorm?" Kate questioned.

Now Alexis was confused. "What snowstorm?"

"Am I missing something here?" said Kate, looking at Castle who had conveniently shoved a massive spoonful of banana and ice cream into his mouth. Kate rolled her eyes and Alexis squirmed in her seat, wondering if she was next in line for questioning.

Deep down, though, Alexis knew it wasn't something she had to worry about. Unlike the pestering she got from her own mother and sometimes even Grams, neither Kate nor her dad ever, _ever_ put her in the middle. This courtesy made her feel respected and, more than that, was part of the reason she liked – possibly _loved_ – Kate so much. At the very least, it was definitely much more than any of her dad's previous girlfriends.

But right now, Alexis couldn't help but flinch at the look on Kate's face. Her raised eyebrows as she waited for her dad to swallow made her look frightening. And not in a cop way either. In a _maternal_ way.

In fact, Kate's own internal panic mode that seemed to accompany any relationship of hers that started to get dangerously domestic was getting set off. "You know, Castle, we've been putting this off but our… this… this _dynamic_—" she gestured at their – and it literally made her want to run away just for thinking it – little makeshift family unit, "—needs to be discussed."

The pitch of Castle's voice came out a little higher than normal when he finally managed to respond. "H_er_e?" he asked.

For somebody so private, Kate had lost sight of where they were. She bit her lip, wishing she could take back some of her reactions.

Again, it was Alexis to the rescue. "Well, I think we're all done with dessert," she started, eyes flicking back and forth between the two adults, "So… family meeting at home?"

.

Alexis was sitting cross-legged on the carpet with Zoey in her lap, facing Castle and Kate who were sitting on the couch. When it came to relationships, Kate and Castle were both emotionally stunted, albeit in completely opposite ways. (She kept her heart in a hermetically sealed box while he gave his away a little too freely. Either way, both ended up leading to disastrous demises.)

At this particular moment, Kate and Castle were attempting to explain the terms 'mommy' and 'daddy' to an increasingly perplexed Zoey.

"Zoey… mommy…" Zoey said, pointing to herself and then to Kate. "Lexi… daddy…" Now, she pointed from Alexis to Castle. Then, hesitatingly, she said, "Zoey… daddy…?"

Castle shook his head only because Kate did.

"Why?" Zoey demanded.

"Because," Kate said, "It's the same as why Lexi calls me Kate and not mommy." Zoey seemed to have worked out that connection, at least. Although, Castle and Kate suspected it was because Zoey had never heard Alexis call her 'mom'.

"But why?" Zoey asked again.

"Because mommy didn't—"

Kate was cut off by Alexis, who had stayed silent and characteristically observant up until that point. "Guys, there is no way you can expect a two-year-old to understand this concept." And then she added cheekily, "I just learned that in my developmental psych. class."

Castle knew that. And he knew that _Kate_ knew it, too, but he also understood why she kept trying. "I think," he said, "That Zoey simply wants to know what she should call me."

"And what should that be?" Kate asked with a wayward glance at Castle.

But it wasn't Castle who answered.

"I think Zo has every right to call dad, well, _dad_." Zoey looked up at Alexis upon hearing her name. Alexis smiled at her _little sister_ – she was embracing the opportunity to properly label her relationship – before continuing. "Kate, I don't call you mom because you're right – I didn't grow up with you. And, even though you take care of me now and I love you—" Kate's eyes widened a little at that, "—it would just be a little weird. For both of us."

Castle smiled at his daughter's honesty and maturity. Kate had been right in that they had all needed to sort out what everybody meant to one another. Even if it _had_ been his right – which it hadn't because Alexis was old enough to make her own decisions – he wouldn't have been able to express himself as comfortably as Alexis was managing to do at that moment.

"But I've been in Zo's life for as long as you have, Kate." Castle took over, grateful to Alexis for giving him a way in. "And, I mean, maybe I haven't shared _all _of the burdens involved with Zoey's care—"

"—you have," Kate said quietly.

Castle took her hand in his. "If you're worried about what I think, just know that I'm totally okay with Zoey calling me… whatever she wants to call me."

"Me too," Alexis chimed in. "Zoey's already my little sister, right Zo?"

Zoey smiled brightly up at Alexis in response.

Castle could see Kate's brain whirring, like it did when she was trying to piece all of the evidence together. "Hey Alexis," he said, averting his attention momentarily, "Do you mind taking Zoey upstairs and helping her get ready for bed?"

"Sure thing," Alexis responded, knowing there was something more behind his simple request but choosing to stay oblivious anyway.

There was a moment of silence once Alexis and Zoey had disappeared up the stairs. Finally, Castle blurted out, "Don't run away from this, Kate."

"I'm not," she said. Her voice was quiet but firm. "You're important to me, Castle. And so is Alexis."

"Is there a 'but' in there?" Castle asked, still on edge and alert.

"There's no 'but'," she replied. She gave him a little smile to show him that she was really okay. "It's just that… when I look at my life, a lot has changed in a relatively short amount of time. And I didn't plan for any of it. I mean, I've been in relationships – long-term relationships – before but…"

"…never one with a built-in family?" he supplied.

Kate nodded. And then her eyes drifted down to look at her and Castle's joined hands. "A family…" she trailed off and then asked, almost rhetorically. "That's really what we are, aren't we?"

Castle squeezed her hands, wisely choosing to let her come to her own conclusions.

Then, abruptly, she turned on the couch so that her body faced his. She stared at him intently and her words came out almost like a demand. "You're sticking, right?"

He put on his best earnest puppy face. "Like glue."

"And this – _us _– it's for real?"

She was seeking reassurance and even though he had said it a hundred times before in a hundred different ways, he would feel no burden in repeating it a hundred more if that was what it took to convince her. "Forever, Kate," he said, "This is forever."

* * *

_A/N: Thanks so much for all the well-wishes on my trip! I did have loads of fun even though it was quite sloshy..._

_Also,_ _I know some of you have been requesting the whole 'Zoey calls Castle 'daddy'' thing for a while now and believe it or not, I had actually planned to have that happen as well – it just took a while to get here because I wanted it to feel organic. Anyway, even though I kind of planned it, this chapter was _ridiculously_ hard to write for some reason… so, please tell me if you liked it!_


	19. NO

**Chapter 19**

.

Castle wanted to redecorate.

He told Kate that he was getting bored of his house and needed a new project now that he had sent off the latest Nikki Heat venture for a final edit. Kate had bought this explanation, of course, because she knew how easily he got bored.

However, this time, Castle had an ulterior, _real_ reason for wanting to redecorate. To Kate, his home was just that – _his_. For her, it was just a loft, a house, somewhere she and Zoey kept some of their stuff. By redecorating and choosing furniture and paint colours that she agreed on – or even chose herself – his house would turn into their home.

Still, not a lot of time had passed since Kate had let herself acknowledge – actually _verbally express_ – that there were more people in her life now that she could call family. She had opened another door, so to speak, and he didn't want to risk having it slam back in his face by suggesting yet another new thing that she might not be ready for.

Castle had somehow managed to worm his way into her life – her words, not his – but more importantly, he had proven to her that she could trust him. And Kate's trust in people was not easily gained. In spite of that though, trusting him didn't mean that she still didn't like to have a certain amount of control in a situation. And in the realm of experiences that could be messy and chaotic and required one to let go a little, love and relationships ranked number one.

He knew, going in, that this massive project of his would end up taking a lot of persuasion and coercion (and probably fibbing to hide his real intentions).

Luckily, he was a master wheedler.

.

"Castle, I'm working." Kate cradled her cellphone to her ear as she struggled with files in one hand and coffee in the other.

"You didn't actually tell me if the kitchen island idea was a firm 'yes'," he replied, "Oh, and bedroom paint colour?"

"It's your kitchen, Castle. Do whatever you want with it," said Kate, almost dropping her phone into the coffee as she set everything down onto her desk.

"But I can't decide!" he whined. "I need your help."

Kate threw up her hand in exasperation. "I don't know; do you _like_ kitchen islands?"

"Do _you_?"

"I guess…" she said, "Yeah, sure. More space to prepare food since you like to spread out your ingredients across the _entire_ counter."

"Great!" Castle said cheerily, completely ignoring Kate's jab. "Kitchen island it is."

"And now that that's settled, I really have to go," said Kate, hanging up the phone after he said 'bye'.

Kate got about five minutes of peace before her cellphone buzzed again. When she saw who it was on the caller display, she snapped it open. "Wh_at_?"

"Um… you still haven't told me what colour you like."

"Is that seriously why you're calling me again?"

"I put the colour cards in your purse."

"Just choose whatever colour you want!"

"I think I've narrowed it down to _Bolero_, _Red Bay, _or _Crabby Apple_. You said you liked reddish for the bedroom, right?"

"Castle, I don't have time for your insanity right now."

"So… _Crabby Apple_?"

"You're going to keep harassing me until I answer you, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't call it _harassing…_"

Kate muttered under her breath and opened the desk drawer where she had stuffed her purse. Flipping through the cards, she found the three he had mentioned. Just then, Lanie and Esposito, who had just returned from lunch, walked up to her desk.

Both of them observed the three colour samples. "That one," they said simultaneously, pointing to the colour in the middle.

"_Red Bay_," said Kate into the phone.

"Now, is that your decision or Esplanie's?" he asked.

"Castle."

"_Red Bay_, final answer?"

"Good_bye_, Castle."

"Paint samples, huh?" Esposito asked pointedly after she had hung up.

"Castle's redecorating," Kate answered, rolling her eyes.

"_He's_ redecorating or the _both_ of you are?" Lanie said, eyebrows raised. "Is there something I should know here? I mean, I am totally up for a double wedding scenario."

Kate glared at her best friend. Esposito had proposed on Valentine's Day but due to the sterility of her job, Lanie didn't get the chance to show off her engagement ring as often as she'd like. Which is why she found the need to remind people. Frequently. "_He's _redecorating," she answered.

"Uh huh. And he needs your opinion on paint colours because…"

"He's a child and can't decide anything on his own?"

"Is that the new party line?"

"What was the old one again?" Esposito asked, lips quirked, "I forget."

Lanie turned to her boyfriend. "They were just _friends_."

"Oh, right. Like you and I were just friends," he said, wrapping an arm around Lanie's waist.

"Esposito," Kate interrupted before they could keep going, "Go do your work. As I recall, there are a whole bunch of potential suspects for you to rifle through. And Lanie…" Kate paused. She could only boss Esposito around. "… just go and do whatever it is you do with dead bodies."

"That sounds a little porny… no, disturbing. That sounds disturbing," said Esposito.

"I'm going to give her a pass on that one," said Lanie as the two of them walked away from Kate, fully aware she was still within hearing range. "Her brain is still working on why Castle is asking for her help in picking out furniture when he has better taste than she does."

.

Castle got a ridiculous amount of remodelling done in a short amount of time – due almost entirely to the fact that he had the financial means to make those demands. By the time their bedroom, bathrooms, hallways, kitchen, and living room were finished, Castle knew he was treading on dodgy territory with Kate.

He had left the guest bedroom for last and deliberately didn't tell Kate that he was actually turning it into Zoey's permanent bedroom. If she got mad or nervous or skittish (or any combination of the three), he could totally say that he just wanted his guests to learn about the Earth and its four seasons.

The four seasons idea was Alexis' who hated the concept of decorating Zoey's room with fairies or pink ballerinas just because she was a girl. Castle hadn't really planned on doing that anyway but he didn't want to tell her his incredibly nerdy alternative that consisted of some Space Invaders wall decals.

He started with knocking out the existing door so that he could install one that also opened up halfway, letting Zoey have her own little entrance complete with a low enough doorknob. And, by locking just the bottom portion, it would also allow them to have a nicer looking safety gate. Then, he contacted a friend of his who was an artist to help him turn Zoey's room into a giant mural.

The painting started with a summer scene on one wall, transitioning into autumn on the next, winter, then spring, which blended back into summer.

The walls were completed by the time Alexis came home for spring break.

"Whoa. This is amazing," she said as she walked into the room.

"Hey, I asked if you wanted one too," Castle replied.

"Dad, I redecorated my room, like, less than three years ago." Alexis shook her head and gave him a wry smile. "I haven't changed my tastes that much since then. Although…" her voice trailed off as she pointed at the uniform strip of black, a couple of feet in length, cutting through the picture on all four walls. "Is that…"

"Yup, that's chalkboard paint." Castle was practically giddy. "I mean, obviously Zo can't really use it right now unless somebody's with her – I don't want to leave chalk lying around and have her eat it – but I figure, when she's older—"

"—It'll be super awesome." Alexis nodded. She paused, pondered a bit, and then, "So… how much of that paint do you have left over?"

"You want a chalkboard, too, don't you?"

.

"Do you like this blanket, Zo?"

Zoey petted the velvet quilt that they were currently sitting on. "Soft," she replied.

"What colour do you like?" Alexis looked on the tag and read out the available shades.

Alexis had been accompanying her dad for the past couple of days to find the right furnishings for Zoey's room and they were currently in a shop on the Upper East Side that specialised in kid's furniture. Alexis and Zoey were sitting on one of the beds while Castle spoke to one of the owners about the possibility of making a custom-designed bed that looked like the sun (they also wanted a desk shaped like the Earth and lighting fixtures that looked like leaves).

Right after Zoey had declared that she liked purple, a sales associate walked up to them. "Hello, my name is Tara," she greeted, sounding a little too forced to be friendly. "Is there anything I can help you with today?"

Alexis stood up from the bed. "Oh no, that's okay. We were just looking at the quilt."

"And who is this?" Tara asked, tone suddenly sugar-sweet as she addressed Zoey.

Alexis got somewhat annoyed when she noticed how Tara immediately took in the considerable age gap and genetic features between the two of them – equally striking but clearly incongruous – and made certain assumptions.

Alexis held onto Zoey's hand so she wouldn't tumble as she hopped off the bed. "She's my little _sister_," she emphasized the last word, "We're actually redecorating her room."

Luckily, her dad showed up behind them. "Success!" he said to her, "I got the name of a designer who can help us."

"Oh! Mr. Castle," said Tara, "I didn't realise that they were your daughters." Now she _really_ looked like she wanted to ask how exactly her and Zoey were related.

"Yup," he smiled, "Alexis and Zoey."

Before Tara could chime in with another comment, Alexis gave her dad a look that clearly said she wanted to get out of there. "Zo and I decided we want to get this quilt. We should probably pay for it and go." She practically pulled her dad out of the store.

.

"Tah-dah!"

Castle had made Kate close her eyes for the big reveal. He had prevented her from seeing any of it, choosing to go over to her apartment to stay with Zoey during the day while construction had been going on in the loft. Right now, as they stood in the living room and she opened her eyes, Castle was glad that he had made her wait.

"Wow, Castle," she said, "This is really beautiful." She ran her hand across the sofa set she had chosen from CITE. "You were right, the coffee table really goes with this."

"Do you want to see upstairs?" he asked after she had walked through the kitchen and admired the new window treatments.

"Sure."

He watched her out of the corner of his eye when they walked up the stairs to see if she noticed the paintings. When it came to art, Kate was much more knowledgeable and so, the few accent pieces in the loft had all ended up being chosen by her. A couple of weekends ago, he had used the pretence of exploring New York City's art galleries to see what she liked.

He purposely left room for some of the furnishings from her current apartment that he was sure she wouldn't want to part with. Just in case.

As they walked along the upstairs hallway, he saw her do a double take at the framed pictures. "Zo and I are in a lot of these," she commented. Kate smiled at a picture of the four of them, all happily lying in the snow. "When was this taken?"

"Central Park," he replied, "We were all laughing after that snowball fight so I had somebody take a picture of us."

"I didn't even notice you got up!"

"I know. I could be a spy, right?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Are you going to show me the bedroom or not?"

He grinned and opened _their_ bedroom door. Kate immediately made a low whistling sound.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"It's comfortable and warm and surprisingly not showy." She said after a pause, the last bit coming out teasingly. She peered into the adjoining bathroom before turning to properly admire all of the little fixtures and furniture pieces with wide eyes. They had actually picked out all of them together but she seemed to still be operating on the assumption that she had only been acting as his interior designer. Either that or she was choosing to ignore and forget. "This is really perfect, Castle," she said, "I never really had time to set up my new apartment or, well, update my old one but if I had, this probably comes really close to what I would have wanted my bedroom to look like."

Castle's eyes twinkled. "So, you like it?"

Kate smiled. "I love it."

He gave her a suggestive look. "Do you want to help me christen the new bed?"

* * *

_A/N: I know this chapter probably had way too much description but I am kind of a design nerd. I _love_ cool and unique rooms and furnishings (like all of those shows that used to be on TLC but have been replaced by the influx of cupcakes)._

Also, for those interested:

_A reader requested to know how much time has elapsed and believe it or not, I do have a chronological outline mapped out! However, I purposely didn't want to ruin the illusion by putting a year on it. So, to make this easier, assuming a **random, made-up**_ base year_ of 0000 (you guys can input your own year if you want!), this is the timeline so far:_

_Ch. 1: November '00 – Initial adoption, Zoey is 15 months _

_Ch 5: March '01 – Castle starts to take care of Zoey full-time_

_Ch. 9: July '01 – Zoey's 2__nd__ birthday_

_Ch. 16: December '01 – Castle and Kate's first 'real' date_

**Ch. 19**_: March '02 – Zoey is around two and a half years old_

_Hope that helps you guys out! _


	20. OTHER

*****_A/N: This chapter has an M-rated version (found in the separate story entitled _Separation Anxiety: Album Version_)._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 20**

.

"Oh, _shit_."

It was six-thirty a.m. and Alexis had just gotten up to get ready for her eight o'clock class (even for a natural early bird, Thursday mornings still killed her and she was frequently tempted to skip). Normally, she waited until she was eating breakfast before checking her RSS feeds but she was avoiding actually getting _out_ of bed for as long as possible so she ended up opening her laptop while still blurry-eyed. What she came across, though, made her jump out of bed to grab her cellphone off of her desk, where she had left it the night before.

"Pick up… pick up…" she muttered until, "Dad!"

"Honey, I don't know what time it is but judging by the fact that the sun hasn't fully risen yet, I'd say you're calling me way too early."

"Is Kate there with you?"

"No. She had an early day so she didn't want to wake me up until she had to drop Zoey off," he replied and then added, "Which, as it turns out, hadn't been necessary since you've done her the favour."

Alexis ignored his groggy complaints. "She doesn't, by any chance, read the _Post_?"

"Uh, no. She's more of a _Times _girl." He sounded more awake now and slightly concerned. "Why?" And then knowing that Alexis kept tabs on him via news and gossip channels (mostly to make sure they weren't spreading lies), he asked, "What's going on? What did you read?"

"I don't know why they suddenly care since you've been out-and-about with her for a while now—"

"Who? Kate?"

"No, not Kate. Zoey."

"…_Zoey?_" Now he was more than a little concerned.

"Maybe it's because somebody overheard her calling you daddy ever since that night at _Serendipity_?" Alexis said, sounding distressed herself, "But they are not saying nice things…"

She heard him swear under his breath. "Is it only in the _Post_?"

"I think it's just regional stuff but once the gossip sites get a hold of it…" Alexis trailed off, "I mean, you're not exactly Robert Pattinson or Snooki—"

"—who the heck is Snooki?"

Alexis answered exasperatedly, "Dad."

"Right. Okay. Sweetie, don't worry, I'll take care of it." He paused and genuine helplessness laced his tone. "Are people going to bother you about it?"

"My classes are huge," she answered, "I don't even know a quarter of the people in my lectures. Besides, I've dealt with worse."

"Alexis, I'm so sorry."

"Dad, I'll be fine. You just… take care of Kate."

"How bad is it?"

Alexis flinched at the thought of Kate coming across it without warning. "You should just read it yourself."

.

Castle opened the door fully alert, dressed and with a travel mug full of coffee made the way Kate liked it.

"Oh, wow," Kate said, a little taken aback by the speediness with which he had answered the door. She hadn't even had time to fully insert her key. "You got up early today."

Castle gave Zoey a hug before the little girl bounded over to the living room. "Are you in a rush?" he asked. She shook her head. He would have had to tell her anyway but at least, this way, she wouldn't be stressed out about being late. He ushered her over to the kitchen where his laptop sat open on the countertop. He made her sit down on one of the barstools. "Kate, I have to tell you something. Or… well… _show_ you something."

Kate caught the slight dread that laced his voice. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" she asked wearily.

He slowly shook his head. Hitting the space bar to bring his computer out of sleep mode, Castle watched Kate's eyes widen, first, at the picture and then, at the headline: _A Living Reminder of His Playboy Days? Richard Castle's New Love Child Revealed!_

Kate scanned the article, which contained a fair sprinkling of the words _scandal, illegitimate, baby mama, _and _gold digger_. He could tell when she neared the end because she started to ball her hands up into fists and by the time she read, _'…So, now the question is, which one of Richard Castle's infamous one-night stands managed to seduce him into paying his share of the child support…'_ they were clenched so tight he was afraid she would draw blood.

"Kate…?" Castle said when her silence started to unnerve him, "Kate, breathe…"

When she did start to speak, he almost wished she hadn't because her voice came out murderously steady, as if she were ready to put a bullet through somebody at that very second. "Castle. I am going to drop Zoey off at Lanie's today."

Immediately, Castle thought, _'This can't be it. This can't be what tears us apart.'_ He wondered if he was having a heart attack. Or maybe he was having an out-of-body experience because his voice didn't sound like his voice when he whispered, "Kate, don't. Don't do this. Please..."

He stopped talking when she turned to look at him. "I know you didn't do this. I know it's not your fault," she said, though her tone remained unchanged, "I'm not doing this to punish you, Castle."

"Just leave Zoey with me, then." His voice rose to a level of desperation. "You're going to be late if you drive all the way to Lanie's. That's going to take you at least an hour in traf—"

Kate cut him off. "You have to fix this, Castle. And you can't fix it having Zoey with you." She stood up from the stool. "Go to whomever it is you need to go to so that I don't have to see my daughter's face staring back at me from some gossip blog."

He saw Kate's expression seamlessly change to a more neutral one as she called for Zoey. She had already made up her mind. "You're going to go to Auntie Lanie's today, Zo," she said, helping her put her shoes and jacket back on.

Zoey looked confused. "Daddy? You don't play with me today?" she asked forlornly.

Castle gave Kate a distressed little look. She shook her head faintly.

He felt somewhat consoled that she didn't look happy about it either. To Zoey, he said, "I really want you to stay here and play with me today but your Aunt Lanie really, really wants to see you." He smoothed some of the curls away from face. "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, Zo. And you can tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?"

Zoey nodded, though her face was still full of trepidation, like she could sense that something was not right.

Castle wrapped his arms around Zoey. "I love you," he said when he pulled back in a way that made Kate unsure who he was addressing.

He gave Zoey one more kiss on the cheek before letting them leave.

.

"Paula! What the fuck is this?"

Instead of calling his agent, Castle had decided to storm her office instead, _Post_ piece in hand.

"It's okay, Melanie." Paula waved away her assistant who had rushed after Castle and was now standing in the doorway, a little bit terrified. She directed her attention to Castle, who was now pacing back and forth in front of her desk. "I would offer you some coffee, Rick, but somehow I don't think that would be wise."

He slapped the newspaper onto her desk. "Have you read this?"

"It's no big deal, Rick. It's probably just a slow news day."

"_No big deal? _I have a skittish girlfriend who is now mad at me and a daughter whose face is now out there for the world to recognize!" He paused and narrowed his eyes. "This isn't one of your publicity stunts, is it? Because I swear to god, Paula…"

She interjected, "I am not going to get offended right now because I know you didn't mean to suggest that." She had stood up when Castle had entered but now she calmly lowered herself back into her chair. "You said, from day one, that your family was off limits and I have respected that." She pointed to a chair. "Now, sit down."

He did so with a sigh.

"You are right about one thing, Richard," Paula continued, "This renewed interest in your personal life probably does have something to do with the amount of publicity you've been getting lately."

"You mean the new _Nikki Heat_?" The latest instalment was due to be released in a couple of months and he had been doing a few interviews to promote it.

Paula nodded. "And they're shooting the second movie."

"Yeah, but it's not like I have any input. It has nothing to do with me!"

"It puts your name back in the news every time somebody writes an article about it," said Paula, adding with a roll of her eyes, "And there has been a _lot_ of drama on that set lately."

"You have to help me fix this, Paula," he said despairingly, "Kate… I can't lose her over something this stupid."

Paula raised her eyebrows. "Don't be melodramatic, Richard. You won't lose her over this."

"You didn't see the way she looked at me this morning."

"She was probably just in shock. Give her a break. She's not as used to this kind of attention as you are. Besides, I've seen the way you look at each other," Paula paused as if she wasn't sure where that uncharacteristic touchy-feely comment came from. She followed it up with something more crass, "You would have to fuck up _really_ badly for her to leave you. And even then, I'm sure you'd find a way to irritate her enough to take you back."

"Am I supposed to feel reassured?"

.

After he left Paula's office, Castle went to the New York Public Library. He knew he had to give Kate some space but he wasn't really sure how much of it was appropriate. He was certain Emily Post never wrote a chapter on how much time was required before approaching your girlfriend after she had found a picture of her daughter in the newspaper, accompanied by an article that pretty much slandered her in the process.

By the time late afternoon rolled around, Castle couldn't stand it anymore. He had to see her.

When he got to the precinct, a sandwich from Kate's favourite deli in hand, he found her desk empty and her jacket gone.

Esposito approached him, expression betraying pity. "She left for the day, man."

"Where?" he asked immediately.

Esposito shrugged but Castle had a feeling he knew. Esposito was like an older brother to Kate and if she had told him not to tell, he would just as soon face a knife to his throat than betray her trust. Castle admired and appreciated that about Esposito – to know that somebody else had Kate's back no matter what – but right now, at this very moment, he found that loyalty extremely annoying.

"Well, she had to go to Lanie's, right?" Castle pressed. "To pick up Zo?"

Esposito stayed silent.

"Well, how long ago did she leave? Can you at least tell me that?"

Esposito's face softened. "About an hour ago," he finally replied, "Ryan and I told her we'd finish the paperwork."

"Was she mad?" Castle asked, voice quiet.

"She was… upset." Esposito seemed to consider how much he wanted to tell him. "Listen, Beckett understands that this kind of thing is part of your job. She's more than fine with her occasional appearance in articles and pictures as long as it has to do with _Nikki Heat_. But, this article…"

"…It doesn't," Castle finished.

"She's wicked private, man. You know that. And having somebody drag her daughter into this? Let's just say that she doesn't even know where or how to start fixing the damage. She has no idea how to deal. And if there's something Beckett hates, it's losing control."

Castle nodded. He already knew all of those things.

Esposito patted Castle's shoulder. "Lanie has the day off," he said, "But we're finalizing the wedding menu tonight and we have a food tasting planned. I'm picking her up in about an hour to meet with the caterer."

Castle read between the lines. Kate would have to pick up Zoey before Lanie could leave. "Thanks," he said to Esposito.

Castle rushed off, dialling Lanie's number as he got into his car. "Lanie, it's Castle," he said when she picked up.

His greeting was met with silence on the other end. Several seconds passed and he started to wonder if they had gotten cut off.

Lanie wasn't one to sell-out Kate either but as the best friend, she felt that her job consisted of more than just being a confidante. Lanie also had to make sure that Kate didn't make stupid decisions or, because of how stubborn she could be, screw up something that had the potential to make her happy. So, when Castle called, she thought long and hard before making her decision.

When her voice finally floated across the line, it was without hesitation that she told him, "She's at her dad's."

.

Castle waited nervously outside Jim Beckett's house two hours later. He hoped the man didn't murder him for hurting his little girl before he had a chance to even talk to Kate.

The door opened. Jim wasn't usually intimidating but the way he was blocking the doorway seemed incredibly predatory. "Richard."

Jim usually called him 'Rick'. He was being formal. This was not good. Castle cleared his throat. "Hello, Jim."

Absolute silence for a full minute while Jim just stared – no, _observed_ – him.

Then, "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"No, sir. Abso_lute_ly no."

"You love my granddaughter?"

"_Yes_."

"And you love my d_aught_er?"

"She's my life."

Jim swung open the door fully to let Castle enter. "Katie's upstairs."

Castle let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. "Thank you," he said before bounding up the stairs.

He had visited a couple of times before with Kate so he knew the layout well. This hadn't been her childhood home but Jim had still set aside a room for his daughter so that, no matter what, she would always have somewhere to go.

He heard Kate's voice through the closed door, reading what sounded like a Shel Silverstein book to Zoey. He knocked quietly before stepping into the room.

"Daddy!" Zoey exclaimed, immediately sliding herself off of the bed to jump into Castle's arms.

"Hey, baby girl," he said, hugging her tight. "Did you have fun at Auntie Lanie's?"

Zoey nodded, pointing to her necklace made up of miscellaneous beads. "She help me make this. And one for Lexi and one for mommy."

"What about me?" he teased.

Zoey tilted her head, pondering before answering, "You can share with mommy."

Castle smiled. "Good idea," he said, ruffling her hair.

"But daddy?" Zoey peered at Castle, grey eyes wide and serious. "I miss you today a lot, a lot."

Kate had been watching the entire exchange and at Zoey's confession, she averted her eyes looking either guilty or anguished. Castle hoped it was guilt because anguish could mean she planned to keep Zoey away from him for a longer period of time.

Castle swallowed to keep himself from getting irrationally emotional. "I missed you, too, Zo."

A shuffling at the door made him turn around. It was Jim.

"Katie," he said, "I have to go out and—"

"—get groceries," Kate finished, "Yeah, I remember."

He nodded at Zoey. "Do you want me to…"

Kate looked at Castle for a beat before answering, "Yeah, dad, would you please?"

"Of course." Then, speaking to Zoey, he said, "Hey sweetheart. How about you come on a little trip with me? Maybe we can even get you some snacks."

"Yeah," Zoey said. Castle set her down and she took Jim's proffered hand. "Cookies?" she asked hopefully.

"We'll see," he answered with a smile. Jim shot Kate one last look before closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, Kate," Castle said, after a beat.

"Don't apologise," she said. "You didn't do anything."

He indicated Zoey's vacated spot beside her. "Can I—?"

She nodded. "Did Lanie tell you I was here?" When Castle didn't answer, she said, "It's okay. I knew she would."

"We have to talk, Kate. I had to come here so that we could talk," he said by way of explanation. He reached for one of her hands but her arms were wrapped around her body protectively and she didn't budge. He didn't press it. He just continued talking. "I went to see Paula this morning. She said the media was just looking for something new and shocking to report since I was back in the spotlight again. You know, because of the book and the movie…"

He breathed a sigh of relief when she responded. "What did she say? For you to do, I mean."

Castle spoke in a rush, "She said it would be best if we just released a statement. We could leave it alone but that might backfire on us if they decided to pursue it. We can't predict how far they'll go or how much they'll dig up. I was thinking," he continued, slowing down his speech, "We could just come clean about our relationship. That we are serious and committed and Zoey is as much my daughter as yours and to please respect the privacy of our family."

Kate was silent, thinking over what he had suggested. "No," she finally said, "Just say that she's the daughter of a close friend and that she called you 'daddy' by mistake. She's a child. They'll believe that. And don't mention Zoey by name."

Castle didn't miss how Kate's proposed statement made their relationship – the one he had with her _and_ the one he had with Zoey – seem trivial. "Kate," he said gently, "Are you okay?"

But, Kate didn't respond. In fact, she didn't say anything for a long while. When the words finally came, though, her voice was quiet and resolute. "I don't want to keep Zoey from you."

It seemed as though it took extra long for Castle's brain to process her sentence. But then, the meaning rushed towards him like a speeding train with an impact that was equally devastating. "Are you… are you _breaking up_ with me?"

Kate squeezed her eyes shut. "Castle…"

"No!" he practically yelled, "What about not running away? What about trusting me?"

"—I _do_ trust you, Castle! It's not you, it's—"

"—it's everything else, right?" he waved his hands around erratically. "If you let them get to you – to what we have – then they win. I know you Kate, you _hate_ losing. The media just likes to stir things up. Nobody will remember it in a couple of days and we'll just go back to being this boring couple with two kids."

"Until the next time."

"Kate, I _know_ you're guarded and I _know _you like to keep personal things private but this is us! There are so many things we have, that we share, that nobody will be able to take away." He wasn't sitting beside her anymore. He was in front of her, trapping her long legs between his knees. "Kate, it's _us_."

"Exactly, it's _us_!" Even with his proximity, her eyes were avoiding his as she spoke. "Why do you think it took us so long to get together? I'll tell you. It's because our lifestyles have always been completely different."

"No, it's because both of us were too chicken to admit our feelings," he countered. "Look at us now. We're a _family_. Families encounter problems and then they solve them _together_."

"You gave Zoey a room."

Kate's abrupt change of topic disrupted his chain of thought. "What?" he asked.

"I'm not stupid, Castle. I know why you redesigned the guest room," she crossed her arms, "You make all of these decisions without telling me. What kind of _family_ are we if you don't even feel like you can discuss things with me?"

"I just didn't want you to freak out! I didn't want you to run away because you were scared!"

"I'm not scared!" she shot back immediately.

"Oh really? Then what the hell is this?" he yelled.

"We're just moving so fast!" she yelled back.

"No, Kate," he said, voice suddenly calm, "We're not. We would be moving too fast if I had decided to propose to you but right now, we're moving at just the right speed."

"You don't know everything about relationships, Castle," she said, still angry.

"No, but I know what it feels like to jump the gun, fall headfirst without a life preserver and then find out later that you don't know how to swim." He toyed with the edge of her t-shirt. She didn't swat his hands away – probably because her arms were still crossed but he would take what he could get. He took a deep breath and continued, "With Meredith, I proposed because it was the right thing to do and with Gina, I never waited past the honeymoon period of our relationship before I got down on one knee. _Our _relationship has already lasted longer than both of my marriages combined." He took a deep breath. "Before you, I was sure that I would never get married again but maybe that's because I've never been with somebody who I wasn't willing to let go of. But, with you… I don't want to screw things up, okay? Someday, I—"

"—Don't, Castle," she cut him off, "Don't say it."

"We can slow down, Kate. We can take it as slow as you want."

"I don't want to slow down."

"You can't just quit on me here," he pleaded and then made a last ditch effort, "You can't just separate our _daughters_."

Her eyes flashed at that. "I _love _Alexis, Castle. I'm not going to abandon her just because we don't work."

So, that was it. She really was planning on breaking them up. "So, what was this past year to you?" he said, voice rising again, "Wasn't it _proof_ that we work?"

She leaned forward and he thought maybe he had managed to convince her. When he felt the pressure on his shoulders, he knew that she was only trying to push him away. "It wasn't proof," she said, "It was just a failed experiment."

He fell back, scrambling off the bed after her. She was opening the door for him to leave. He slammed his palm against it, holding his hand there. "No, Kate," he said, as forcibly as he could manage, "I'm sticking. Remember? I'm sticking like glue. I won't let you do this."

He tilted his head to kiss her forehead. There were no tears waiting to escape when he kissed both of her closed eyelids. Kate was strong.

Her eyes opened when he pulled away but he took the opportunity to bend down to meet them with his own. She startled. He didn't hesitate. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and brought his lips to hers at the same time.

She wasn't _that_ strong.

There was a sense of desperation to the way she kissed him. Instead of the lazy way their tongues usually played with one another, she was urging hers forward to twist with his in a flurry of movement. There was no space between their bodies and everything she did was fast, feverish, and fierce. It was like she wanted to mark him one last time before letting him go.

He was the one who broke apart first, feeling dizzy. His breaths came fast and so did hers. He kept the grip around her waist tight so she had no option but to rest her head against him. He made sure his voice was low and calm when he finally spoke. "I told Alexis once, that love gets more complicated as you get older," he said, "And do you know what she told me?" He didn't wait for her to shake her head. "She said, '_if you love each other then you love each other_'."

She backed away from him and he let her. "Release the statement," she said.

"Which one? Yours or mine?"

"Mine."

Castle inhaled sharply.

"I just need a couple of days," she said, quietly. "I'm going to stay here for the weekend. My dad will look after Zoey tomorrow while I'm at work."

"So, we're not… are we okay?"

Kate met his gaze. "Just give me a couple of days, Castle."

* * *

_A/N: This has been the longest chapter yet (hence the teeny, tiny cliffhanger) and I'm sorry that it was such a rollercoaster. I hope you guys aren't mad at me for the angst – initially I wasn't going to write it this way but then I realised, they've yet to have a real fight… the words kind of just flowed from that thought… No worries, though. As I said, this is still ultimately a fluffy piece! I really hope the tension _added_ rather than _subtracted_ from the story…_


	21. WAY

**Chapter 21**

.

Alexis surprised her dad by taking the train home after her classes on Friday. She knew, from the sound of his voice on the phone, that everything had not turned out okay with Kate.

"Dad, what happened?" she asked softly after searching the house and finally finding him in Zoey's room, lying down on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"We had a really big fight," he answered.

She pulled up a beanbag chair, resting her head on it and laying down beside him. "Was she mad at you?"

"I'm not sure," he said, "I think she was more angry at the people who caused the situation. Kate and I, we've never had a big fight before. Maybe we were due."

"But you guys are okay?" Alexis heard the beads move when her dad shook his head. She took in a deep breath, afraid to even ask. "Did she… did you break up?"

She felt the warmth of his hand as he reached for hers. "She's new to all of this, sweetie. She's not sure if she could live with all of the attention."

"You mean, live with _us_."

"No, Alexis," he squeezed her hand. "She loves you."

"So… so, _why_?" Alexis felt her throat tighten and she knew that tears weren't far behind. "What about me and Zoey?"

He sat up and looked down at her. "Honey, nothing will change between you two no matter what happens between me and Kate." Alexis knew that wouldn't be true. "Kate just thinks… _we're_ trying to overcome our differences."

"But you guys are different in a _good_ way!"

Her dad smiled but it contained no joy. "I hope she figures that out too," he said.

Alexis pushed herself up, asking with a glimmer of hope, "What do you mean? Are you both still thinking about it?"

"Well, Kate's thinking about it. She's staying at her dad's house this weekend with Zoey." He pulled her into a tight, consolatory hug. "I'm pretty sure Kate knows how I feel."

.

Alexis was a doer. She couldn't just sit around and wait for her dad and Kate to get their acts together.

(That and she might have been just a little bit pissed at Kate.)

Either way, she needed answers, even if that meant she might end up getting one she didn't like.

Needless to say, Kate was surprised to see her. "Alexis! I didn't know you were coming home this weekend."

"Well, I hadn't been planning to," she replied, stepping into the unfamiliar house.

Kate took her coat and led her into the living room. "How did you get here?" she asked.

"I drove dad's car. He has this address saved in his GPS." Alexis tried to give Kate a pointed look. "I always see Zo on the weekends I come home. That's why I had to drive here."

For a split second, Kate looked guilty. Then, "Where does your dad think you are?"

"Out shopping."

"Alexis…"

Alexis averted her eyes and spotted Kate's dad coming out of the kitchen. "Hi, Mr. Beckett," she greeted, hoping it would work to sidetrack Kate.

He smiled at her. "Hello, Alexis. Don't mind me," he said, "I'm just going to go upstairs. I'll leave you two to talk."

Kate turned back to Alexis as soon as he had disappeared up the steps. "Zoey's taking a nap right now."

Alexis knew that. She wondered if Kate suspected that she had purposely planned it that way.

"Do you want something to eat?" Kate asked when Alexis didn't immediately say anything.

Just as Kate made a movement to get up off the couch, Alexis blurted, "Don't break up with dad. He loves you."

Kate sighed and sat back down. "That's between me and your dad."

"No, it isn't," Alexis responded, hoping her voice didn't betray how upset she was feeling. "You… you're a part of my life now, too."

"And I will continue to be a part of your life," Kate replied.

"So, you've made your decision then?" Alexis' eyes widened, sadness flickering briefly across her features before being pushed out by panic. "What about me and Zoey? Zoey's my little sister!"

"Alexis, no matter what happens – you and Zoey's relationship doesn't have to change."

"That's what dad said," she retorted, "But you're both lying. You're _lying_." Alexis yanked her hand away when Kate reached for it. "Do you know that I see you and Zoey more than I talk to my own mom? Do you know that when I have something that I can't talk to dad about, the first person I go to is _you_? Dad taught Zoey the ABCs but _I_ taught her how to count to ten. It's not just dad who loves you, okay? I love you, too."

Kate took her by the shoulders, grasping firmly. "Alexis, I love you, too. Don't you _ever_ question that."

"Then why are you doing this?" She couldn't help it. Tears started to run down her face. "Don't you understand that we're a family?"

"Alexis, your dad and I – we don't mean to hurt you. We would never want you to get in the middle of all of this."

"So don't break up!"

Kate let go of her and stared down at her lap. "There are a lot of things that need to be worked out."

"So, what? Is this going to be like my mom and dad's divorce except now I'm old enough to understand? Are you guys going to have joint custody of me and Zoey?"

"Alexis, I just told your dad that I needed some space. Nothing has happened—"

"—yet," Alexis cut in. "Nothing has happened _yet_." She jumped up angrily. "Now I understand why dad stopped me from meeting so many of his girlfriends. Why he prevented me from getting to know them. Even from _Gina_, he protected me from getting too close."

"_No_," Kate's voice was practically a whisper, "You and I aren't like th—"

Alexis didn't let Kate finish. "Yes, we are! You're just like the rest of them," she spat out, "They _all_ end up leaving."

Alexis was glad when Kate didn't respond because she was on a roll. She was furious now, yelling, "You're being selfish, Kate. You're just dragging him along and getting his hopes up! So, just break up with him already so that we can start getting over you!"

With that, Alexis stormed away, making sure to slam the front door on her way out.

.

Kate didn't cry very often. She hadn't even cried when she and Castle had had their fight. But when Alexis had walked out on her – as soon as she had heard the front door slam shut – Kate had broken down.

She had stopped trying to console Alexis midway through the conversation. Clearly the girl needed to vent. The words that had come out of her mouth, though… Kate was crestfallen. She had never felt so wretched and guilty and ashamed.

It took Kate a couple of minutes to realise that she never heard the car turn on. She swiped at her eyes and went to the hallway closet where Alexis' jacket was still where she had hung it. Digging through the pockets, she heard the jangle of keys. "Shit," she said, under her breath.

"Katie?"

She turned around at her dad's soft voice and for some reason, seeing him there all sympathetic caused her to break out into a fresh batch of tears. He walked over and pulled her into a hug. Kate clung on as tightly as Zoey did to her when she got upset. "I screwed everything up, didn't I?" she sobbed.

Wisely, he chose not to respond until she pulled away herself, slightly embarrassed at still needing her daddy's shoulder to cry on. "Come on," he said, leading her into the kitchen so he could get her some tissues.

By the time Kate accepted the glass of water he handed her, she was slightly calmer. Her dad looked uncomfortable, though and she sighed. "Just say it, dad," she said.

"Katie, you're my little girl," he started, "And there's nothing I want more than for you to be happy."

"I already know what you're going to say, dad. You think Castle's the one who will make me happy, right?"

"Listen to me first, Katherine, before you brush me off."

It had been a while since her father had scolded her. She shut her mouth immediately.

"I can count the number of boyfriends you've introduced me to on three fingers," he continued, "So, I know Rick must be somebody special. And more than that, I think that he's good for you."

"That's what Lanie tells me," Kate said, slightly annoyed, "Castle's good for me because he's so carefree and fun while I'm too serious."

"Well, that might be true to some extent when you're on the job but Katie, I don't think your personality is lacking in fun and adventure. You've always been a little rebellious."

Kate's lips quirked up at that. Her dad would certainly know just how much trouble she could get herself into. "So what is it then?" she asked, "Why do you think he's so good for me?"

Her dad gave her a sad smile. "Because Katie, you've always been a protector. The strong one. Even when it came to this family." He paused. "And there's not a day that goes by where I don't regret forcing you into that position."

"Oh, dad… don't—"

He held up a hand. "No, let me finish," he said. "Being strong is a wonderful thing and having those protective instincts means that you take care of the people around you but you also have to take care of yourself, Katie.

"Right now, you're trying to protect Zoey by foregoing your own happiness because you think that it would be better for her. But, I think in this case, you've neglected a very important piece of information."

"What?"

"That Rick is a protector, too." He gave her another sad smile. "I can see how much you care for each other, Katie – it reminds me a little of your mom and I. I think, for you, it's admitting that connection that's so hard.

"And, you know, you two are more alike than you think. On the surface, you and Rick might seem to be as different as night and day but deep down, you both know what's worth protecting."

"So, you do think I'm in the wrong, then," Kate said.

"No, that's not what I said. But, what I _do_ think is that he's putting himself out there and you're ignoring his attempts to make things right again. He can't control what the media says about your family as much as you can, Katie."

"I know that," Kate responded, a little petulantly.

"Right, well, unlike you, I think he has the means to make sure they don't write something like this again. And, if they _do_, I would bet good money that he will try very hard to shield you from it."

Kate looked down at the shredded pieces of tissue in her hand. "How can you be so sure, dad?"

He smiled. "Don't be afraid to commit, Katherine." Then, because he knew exactly what circumstances had made his daughter so apprehensive, he added softly, "He won't leave you."

Kate's eyes welled up, along with her dad's, as the image of Johanna Beckett danced across their memories.

"Oh crap," Kate said suddenly, breaking the moment. "Alexis."

.

Only about twenty minutes had passed since Alexis had left. She had her cellphone but not her wallet (which was in her purse, also in the car) so she couldn't have gone very far. Kate knew that she was probably just walking off her anger and would return on her own but still, she sent her dad out to drive around and look for her – giving him her cellphone number in the hopes that she would at least answer him (because she certainly didn't answer when Kate tried).

Meanwhile, Kate was sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, staring at the cordless phone in her hand. She took a deep breath and dialled.

"Hello?" came the answer on the second ring.

For some reason, when he answered, Kate was overcome with the urge to cry (_again_) – as if she had finally realised how much she could have potentially screwed up.

When she didn't answer, Castle said softly, "Kate?"

Kate cleared her throat. "Yeah, Castle. It's me," her voice still sounded raspy.

"I know that. Your dad's home number shows up on my caller display as 'Papa Beckett'."

Kate couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "Seriously?"

"No," he answered. And then came that damn sincerity, "I just wanted to hear you laugh."

Kate took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "Alexis is here," she said.

"What?" Now he sounded confused. "No, she's out shopping with some friends."

"No, Castle. She came over to see me."

"Dammit, Alexis," he murmured under his breath.

"It's okay, Castle," she said, "I just think you should come over and get her."

"Yeah, of course."

"She… she shouldn't be driving right now," Kate said.

"Oh, Kate, what happened?"

"We both… she just got a little emotional."

Kate stopped speaking when she heard the front door open and close, followed by her dad's voice. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Alexis' as well. She tucked herself further into the corner of the counter when the two of them walked past the kitchen on their way up the stairs.

She spoke again, only when she was sure they were out of earshot. "She's fine now, Castle."

"Okay, well, I'm on my way." A pause and then, "Wait a second, she _took_ my _car_?"

.

In an eerie repeat of the last time, Castle stood nervously on Jim Beckett's porch two hours later (after taking two cabs and a train). Unlike the last time, though, when Jim opened the door, he let Castle in without an interrogation and with a pat on the back. "Katie's in the kitchen."

Kate had just finished cutting up two peanut butter and banana sandwiches. She looked up when she heard his footsteps. Their eyes met.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey."

Jim slipped in between the two of them and grabbed the two plates on the table. "I'll just take these up to the girls," he said and disappeared.

Kate took her time closing up the jar of peanut butter and putting it back in the fridge. Castle helped her clear the table. Both ended up at the sink: he, to wash the knife and she, to wash her hands.

He dropped the knife into the drying rack and before he could turn away, her hand reached out to grab his wrist. They looked at each other.

His eyes told her that he had said everything he had to say and expressed everything he wanted her to know. It made the last lingering uncertainty in her eyes disappear.

"I'm—" she began.

She got cut off when his lips crushed against hers. She released his wrist immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck, the cold water from her hands making him shiver slightly. Their mouths parted, tongues darting out to taste each other as if it had been forever since they had kissed.

She broke away. "—sorry," she finished, breathlessly.

"I will come back for you every time, Kate," he said, "I will chase you even if you tell me to stop because I know you don't mean it. But, Kate," he gripped her hands, "I really hope I don't have to."

"I'm all in, Castle," she said, those damn tears threatening another comeback, "I'm tired of running."

He kissed her again. Gentle and quick because he knew there would be a lifetime of long and passionate. "You don't have to do it alone."

She blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the moisture from her eyes. "Don't have to do what alone?" she replied because she had to say something in order to quell that lump in her throat.

A beat while he waited for her to meet his eyes.

"_Any_ of it," he said. And then, she did cry.

* * *

_A/N: Only a short one this time: I just wanted to take the opportunity to say thank you for all of your reviews and comments. I really, really appreciate them. Some of you have reviewed for every single chapter of this story and you have no idea how happy that makes me :) Honestly, sometimes I can't believe I've actually written this much but as long as you guys keep reading/are still interested, I'm happy to please. -Violet._


	22. you know down inside that I really do

**Chapter 22**

.

Even though Kate and Castle's relationship had been repaired, Kate and Alexis' hadn't. After their conversation in the kitchen, Castle had gone upstairs to retrieve Alexis who had refused to speak to Kate. Instead, she had decided to sit in the car while Castle had said his goodbyes.

On Sunday, Alexis took the early train back to New Haven.

On Monday, Kate drove out to see her.

An unfamiliar boy opened the door to Alexis' house. "Hello…?" he said.

Alexis' housemate, Phoebe, poked her head around the corner. "Oh, hey Kate." To the boy, she said, "Let her in, Mark. She's here to see Lexie."

Phoebe disappeared back into the kitchen where Kate heard her resume her chopping of what sounded like some very uncooperative vegetables.

Mark didn't bother to lock the door after Kate had entered. Instead, he trailed after Phoebe, pausing at the foot of the stairs to yell, "Lex! Your mom's here to see you!"

"My _mom_?" Kate heard Alexis yell before the sound of her footsteps clattered down the stairs. "Mom, you know I like your visits but maybe you should call me bef—" She paused when she finally caught sight of Kate, "—Oh."

"Hi Alexis," said Kate.

"Hi." Her tone was clipped.

Kate saw Phoebe nudge Mark and hiss, "That's not her mom, you idiot."

Mark shrugged. "How the hell was I supposed to know that? She's old…" Kate raised her eyebrows, "… enough."

Phoebe mouthed, _'Sorry'_ to Alexis behind his back.

"Maybe we can go somewhere to talk, Alexis. Like a coffee shop?" Kate asked. "If you have time." Kate knew she did. Alexis' winter semester schedule was posted on the fridge in the loft.

Alexis didn't respond directly. She just grabbed her jacket from the closet and slipped on some flats. "I'm going out for a bit, Pheebs," she called out, "I'll be back in time to walk with you to class so wait for me, okay?"

"Sure thing, Lex," Phoebe replied.

It was a crisp spring day and the two of them walked a couple of blocks in silence before Alexis started talking. "Sorry about Mark," she said, "He's Phoebe's boyfriend – we keep telling her to break up with him already 'cause he's so annoying."

"Don't worry about it," Kate replied with a chuckle. "At least he didn't say I was old, period. I've heard worse than 'old enough.'"

"Here," said Alexis, taking a left turn and gesturing to a little student-run café, "They have the best coffee on campus."

By wordless decision, Alexis went to find seats while Kate bought their drinks. She didn't need to ask Alexis what she wanted – it was always the same thing.

"Thanks," said Alexis, when Kate set down her vanilla latte.

The situation wasn't new: Kate had always made sure to set some time aside where she and Alexis could talk or hang out together without Castle present. The circumstances that they were currently in, though, made it extremely uncomfortable.

Kate set her cup down after taking a drink. After a long drawn-out pause, she finally said, "Sometimes I forget how similar you are to your dad." Alexis looked at her. "Because you've always been so agreeable and you've always seemed so much more mature than your age.

But, I realise, now, how unfair I've been to you. By treating you like an adult."

"I _am _an adult."

Kate nodded. "Yes, you are but what I mean is…" she paused, trying to think about how she wanted to phrase her answer, "…the other people – adults – in my life, my friends for example and your dad, they all know that I'm not always the easiest person to get to know. I'm not always as… affectionate as other people might be in a similar situation.

"Like, when Lanie tells me she's really glad that I'm her best friend. She knows that I feel the same way about her even though I may not say it in return or show it the way she does."

"I know that, Kate," said Alexis.

"And I know that you've never held it against me," Kate replied, "But I'm just afraid that you knowing that about me doesn't change the fact that emotionally, it doesn't seem to matter. I've still—" she fiddled with her coffee cup, "—I've still hurt you."

"Dad already called me, Kate," Alexis said with a sigh, "He already explained to me what happened. I know you and him are fine now."

"But you're still mad at me, aren't you?" Kate asked softly.

Alexis shrugged, eyes averted.

"Look," Kate continued, "You are your dad are both very _open_ people – you give your love freely to the people you care about."

"Sure," Alexis replied, noncommittally.

Kate smiled a little. "Trust me, you do."

"All right, so I do. So, what?"

"Well, I'm not so open. And while your dad accepts this about me, he also knows that even though for every three times he tells me he loves me, I only tell him once – it doesn't mean that I love him any less.

"Me and _you_, on the other hand… you're always so quick with your hugs and your I-love-yous that I never have to do it first."

A hint of a smile graced Alexis' lips, "I like giving you guys hugs."

"And I love that about you," said Kate, "But what I said about me being unfair to you… it's not fair for me to treat you like all of the other adults in my life, just _expecting_ you to accept the fact that I don't always outwardly return the sentiment."

"Kate, really, I get it. It's okay."

"No," Kate shook her head, "It isn't. I should be treating you like I treat Zoey."

Alexis circled the rim of her cup with her index finger. "Well, that's different. Zoey's little and she needs all of that affection and besides, she's your daughter."

"Well, so are you," said Kate.

Alexis looked up at her.

"You were right," Kate continued, "We _are_ a family. And I'm sorry I let you down."

"You're more like my mom than my real mom is," Alexis said quietly, "If that makes any sense. So, when I thought you were going to leave me… I…"

"You acted the way I would have," said Kate, with a smile.

Alexis tilted her head. "Yeah, I guess I did." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, too, Kate. For getting so angry at you and for calling you selfish. You're not selfish. Not at all."

"Alexis, all that matters is that we're okay," said Kate.

Alexis gave Kate a real smile. "We're family. Of course we're okay."

"Do you… want a hug?"

Alexis straightened up, energy suddenly renewed. "How about I tell you about all of the stupid things that Mark does that drives me in_sane_ instead?"

.

"Wow." Castle whistled appreciatively. "Maybe you can buy it but _not _wear it to the party if you know what I—"

"Lalalala!" Alexis covered her ears. "I can't hear you!"

"Yeah, don't be gross, Castle." Kate walked back into the change room at Bergdorf's and took off the little silver number that she was _sure_ Castle had slipped into the pile.

Alexis had just returned home last night after having officially completed her sophomore year. Not only had Castle gotten invited to a black tie event taking place the following weekend but all _four_ of them were expected to attend.

There was nothing Kate hated more than being _forced_ to go shopping for something to wear. It had already been two hours of searching and they still had to find a dress for Alexis.

Kate's exasperated voice floated out from behind the curtain. "We're running out of options here."

"I don't think Kate's having fun," Alexis stage-whispered to Castle.

"I need somebody to zip me up," Kate called.

"I'll do it," said Castle, "Can you make sure Zo doesn't tip that thing over?"

Alexis looked over to where he had pointed and saw Zoey crawling under a mannequin that had been outfitted with a giant, poufy dress.

"Lexi!" she called loudly, "A tent!"

"Oh, no, Zo," she dashed towards her, looking nervously around to see if they had gotten the attention of any sales associates. "That's not a tent!"

Castle walked up to Kate's change room. "Are you decent?" he asked and then, "Well, I guess that doesn't really matter, does it?" He made sure nobody else was around and quickly darted behind the curtain.

Kate's exposed back was to him, tendrils of hair from her messy bun falling loose down her back due to all of the outfit changes. There was a flush to her skin and a flustered expression on her face that he couldn't help but compare to the way she looked when he had just made her…

"Just zip me up, Castle." She had seen him staring at her in the mirror. "There are too many lights in here – it's making me hot and annoyed."

"Well," he started suggestively, "We can turn that into hot and _bothered_."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Don't even think about it."

Castle grinned. "Can't help it." Nonetheless, he complied, making sure not to catch any pieces of her hair in the zipper. He pulled open the curtain when he was done so she could walk out.

"I think this is the one," he said.

Kate positioned herself in front of the three-way mirror. It was a beautiful, floor-length, red chiffon dress by Marchesa that accentuated her toned arms and statuesque height.

Alexis joined them with Zoey in her arms to stop her from causing any more mischief. "Definitely, Kate," she said.

"And what do you think Zo?" Kate asked, looking at her other daughter with a smile.

Zoey stared at her mom in the mirror. After a second of brief contemplation, she said, "I like red."

Kate laughed. "Well, I guess that settles it then."

.

It was their first appearance as a real couple. After their fight, Castle had chosen not to release any kind of statement – neither his version nor Kate's – deciding that they had needed the weekend to cool off.

Unfortunately, that didn't mean the press had hounded them any less when they finally _did _decide to confirm certain facts to them on the Monday. Kate had spent that day in New Haven, patching things up with Alexis and wisely screening her calls but Castle hadn't had that luxury. It seemed that Paula had called him every half hour asking yet another inane question that some news-hungry reporter had wanted to know.

Things had calmed down since then but Kate still hated the increased awareness into her personal life. Luckily, only certain members of the press were allowed into the actual event for reporting purposes so Castle had arranged for Kate, Zoey, and Alexis to slip into the venue through a private entrance. Only he would have to face the photogs and relentless questions.

"So, how did it go?" Kate asked when Castle finally managed to join them at their assigned table.

"Oh, you know, the usual litany: How long have we been dating? Why did we keep it a secret? When am I going to propose?" He grinned at her when he said the last question. "That sort of thing."

"Well, I hope you didn't promise them anything," Kate said, a glint in her eye and an unreadable expression on her face.

He let her take a sip of her champagne before responding. "I told them to give me eight months." He watched as she faltered in replacing her glass on the table. Eight months would take them to the end of the year. "_Tops_."

* * *

_A/N: I was overwhelmed by all of the feedback I got from the last couple of chapters! I'm glad I wasn't flamed for putting our favourite pair in a fight! But... new song lyric next chapter… you know what that means, don't you? Thematic change! We're taking a step away from angsty romance and wordy conversations about relationships. Yay! (At least, I hope you're 'yaying' and not 'naying'.) Whatevs, I'm a little nuts so you probably won't even notice a difference. ;) _


	23. WHAT'S

**Chapter 23**

.

Kate nearly forgot about mother's day.

Last year, Castle and Alexis – the two people in her life who celebrated _everything_ – had been out of town and the holiday had passed before she had even noticed.

Secretly she had been glad.

It had taken Kate a long time to get over the fact that she would never be able to celebrate a real mother's day again, to make herself forget about all of the traditions that she had created with her mom and dad. Like how she had always made her mom a card instead of buying her one and how her dad had always woken up super early to make Johanna Beckett breakfast in bed. Kate had always snuck into her mom's room before her dad had finished and the three of them had always ended up eating the meal – whether it be a giant stack of pancakes or bacon and eggs or, one time, a brunch quiche that had gone horribly wrong – together.

So, when that particular weekend arrived, Kate hadn't treated it differently from any other weekend. In fact, on Sunday morning, she had been too exhausted from working late the night before to sense Castle getting out of bed at 5:30. Kate didn't even begin to stir until she heard Zoey's voice saying, "I want to hold it!" loudly from down the hallway.

She groaned a little and rubbed her eyes. She was just about to get out of bed and grab her robe when the door flew open.

"Don't you even think about moving," Castle said. He was carrying a tray in his hands.

Zoey, who was gripping a small vase – full of water - of white and yellow daisies, was jumping a little in excitement. Alexis took the flowers out of her hands so that the little girl could run up to her mom. The bed was a little tall for Zoey so Kate lifted her up and was immediately engulfed in a giant hug.

"Happy Mother's Day, mommy!" she all but shouted.

Kate laughed. "Thanks, Zo."

Alexis walked over and handed Kate the daisies and a picture, the frame constructed out of an old CD case. She grinned, "Happy Mother's Day, Kate."

Kate looked down at the photo and saw that it was one of Alexis and Zoey, laughing into the camera and embraced in a hug.

"Mommy, mommy," Zoey exclaimed, pointing at the frame, "Me and Lexi did it. I put all the stickers!"

Kate pulled both of them into a hug, eyes just a little bit moist. "It's beautiful. I love it."

Alexis jumped up onto the bed after, settling beside Kate and pulling Zoey into her lap.

"Is it my turn yet?" said Castle, feigning petulance.

Kate smirked. "Is that tray getting too heavy for you, Castle?"

Castle chuckled, making his way to them carefully. He set the tray down on the bedside table before leaning down to give Kate a kiss, mouthing '_I love you_' when he pulled back. He plopped down beside her before placing the breakfast in front of her. In addition to the plate of heart-shaped French toast, the bowl of cut-up fruit, and the cups of both coffee and orange juice, there also lay a single long-stemmed red rose.

Kate picked it up and brought it up to her nose.

"Zo and I got you the daisies," said Alexis, "But dad wanted to get you—"

"—Something a little extra?" Kate finished, looking at Castle.

Zoey giggled when Alexis covered both of their eyes with her hands. "Trust me, Zo," said Alexis, playfully, "You don't want to see what your mommy and daddy are doing."

"Okay, okay," said Castle after a moment, settling back against the bed. "Kate and I promise to behave."

"Alright," said Kate, picking up her fork and knife, "Who wants some French toast?"

"Me!" said Zoey, raising her hand.

Alexis plucked a strawberry out of the bowl. "You should've made more, dad," she said.

"He'll know better for next year," Kate teased.

"Well, there's plenty more downstairs," Castle said.

Kate and Alexis looked at him expectantly.

He threw up his hands in a dramatic surrender. "Oh, all right. I'll go get it."

"Don't forget to bring the maple syrup!" Alexis shouted after him.

Kate forked a piece of French toast and offered it to Alexis. "Did you call your mom yet?"

Alexis shook her head, swallowing before answering, "Mom got back early from her trip so it's still way too early in Los Angeles."

Kate nodded. "So you could have gone to visit her after all," she said, knowing that Alexis had visited Meredith after her finals last year and would probably have done the same this year had Meredith not decided to go to Sydney.

"I thought about it," said Alexis, "But I—"

Kate put down her coffee when Alexis didn't continue. "You… didn't want to?" she asked.

"Not... I mean, I'm planning to visit my mom later, of course… I can visit her anytime I want." Alexis faltered a little, "But I kind of wanted to spend Mother's Day with…"

Kate's eyes glimmered. She was unbelievably touched. "…with me?" she finished.

Alexis smiled. "Yeah."

Kate pulled Alexis into a side hug, kissing the top of her head. "I'm glad you did."

"Am I interrupting a moment here?" Castle had returned carrying another loaded tray. "I could come back later."

"Don't you dare, dad," said Alexis, "I'm starving."

Castle sat down on the other side of Alexis this time and he and Kate took turns cutting up pieces for their daughters.

It was as close to a perfect morning as Kate had gotten in a long time. She realised that while mother's day would never be exactly the same again – nothing could replace the fact that her own mom was no longer around to celebrate it with her – it didn't mean that it couldn't be just as wonderful. Looking across at Alexis, Zoey, and Castle, she realised that the four of them were already starting to make their own traditions.

.

"So Kate," Alexis began, crunching down on her apple, "When are you and Zoey going to officially move in with us?"

Alexis' question was deceptively nonchalant. She hadn't even looked up from reading the newspaper to ask it. If she had, she would have noticed Kate pausing briefly in the cooking of her omelette.

Castle, who had just walked into the kitchen, stopped to give Zoey a kiss in her highchair. He wisely refrained from chiming in even as his expression became one of amusement.

Nowadays mornings went much like this one. Zoey had always been an early riser but Kate had often made sure that Zoey was brushed, dressed, and fed before heading off to work. This had given Castle at least an additional hour and a half of sleep. But, with Alexis home for the summer, the noise of all _three_ of them getting ready at the crack of dawn (and all three by _choice_) did a thorough job of waking him up as well. (Mostly, though, he just didn't want to feel left out of their morning routine).

So, they prepared breakfast together and talked about their plans for the day. (Though Castle always kept his pyjamas on so that he at least felt like he had the option of going back to bed after Kate had left.)

This morning's conversation topic, however, wasn't one of their normal ones.

"I hadn't really thought about it," Kate finally replied.

"Well, think about this," said Alexis, folding up the _Arts_ section and sounding like she was making a presentation in one of her classes, "When was the last time you stayed at your house two nights in a row?"

Kate opened her mouth, as if to answer, and then promptly shut it again. The fact that she had to stop and think immediately made Alexis' question a valid one. Not that she would ever admit that, of course. She was sure that Alexis' sudden interest in her permanent lodgings was the work of the man innocently preparing toast on her right. "Well, when my dad visits, he needs a place to stay," she said, knowing how weak that sounded.

Alexis responded the way Kate knew she would. "He can stay here!"

"You guys don't actually have a guest bedroom anymore," Kate said.

"Oh, about that," said Castle, grinning, "I'm turning the upstairs study back into a bedroom."

"I thought you were finished with all of that construction," Kate replied.

"Well, there's no real construction involved. I just need to move a few pieces of furniture."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and get rid of all that crap you stuffed in there ever since Grams left."

"She _said_ I could do whatever I wanted to her room," Castle said.

"I don't think she meant for you to use it as storage, dad."

Castle shrugged. "The point is," he looked at Kate, "We'll have a guest bedroom."

Kate glared at him, annoyed at having been defeated. "Well, Zo and I go back to the apartment sometimes," she said, sounding defensive.

"Yeah, when you've forgotten something," Alexis replied, "Which you then end up bringing back here anyway. After a while, your apartment will just be filled with furniture. You and Zo should just move in for good."

Kate turned to Castle. "Did you put her up to this?"

He held up his hands, "No! I swear."

"No, he didn't Kate," Alexis echoed. She walked over to the garbage can to dispose of her apple core, saying cheekily, "But I've been taking economics and really, paying for two apartments when you're only living in one does not make much fiscal sense."

Alexis purposely left the kitchen before Kate could respond, exchanging a wink with her dad as she passed him.

.

Kate left Castle hanging for the rest of the day. That hadn't really been her intention but just as Castle had looked like he wanted to say something, her cellphone had rung, informing her of a fresh body in midtown.

She had been glad for the interruption though. It gave her some time to think. Or, at least, to work out some logistics.

"Girl, I don't know what you're waiting for," Lanie said to her.

The optometry office where the victim had been stabbed was not the most appropriate place to discuss her situation but as soon as she had arrived, Lanie had seemed to sense something was up and had refused to let it go until Kate had told her.

"Lanie, do you think we could maybe talk about this _after_ you've determined cause of death?"

"Oh, I can tell you that right now," Lanie replied, using her pen to point to the deepest looking gash on the victim's left thigh.

"He bled out?"

"Almost instantaneously." Lanie made some notes on her clipboard. "Now, I've told you mine. Why don't you tell me yours?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "He didn't exactly _ask_ me. Alexis just sort of mentioned it."

"I don't think he wants to risk having you run away again," said Lanie, always cutting right to the chase.

"I already told him that he doesn't have to worry about that anymore. He knows I'm just as committed as he is."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Lanie, standing up.

Kate gestured to Esposito and filled him in on C.O.D. before handing him the victim's wallet. She and Lanie were walking back out onto the busy street before Kate finally replied, "Are you questioning my commitment?"

"I don't know. Are you?"

"_No_," Kate emphasized.

"Well, then why don't you throw writer boy a bone for once and be the initiator in the next step of your relationship?"

"You think?"

"Honey, I _know_."

.

That night, Castle picked her up from the precinct with just Zoey in tow since Alexis had decided to hang out and catch up with some of her old high school friends.

On the way back from their dinner out, Zoey started to fall asleep in the car.

"Have you got her?" said Castle once they had gotten back to the loft.

"Yeah," Kate replied as she lifted Zoey into her arms. Castle placed a hand against the side of the elevator, letting Kate and Zoey enter before he did.

"I'm sleepy," Zoey mumbled, with her head on Kate's shoulder and her thumb in her mouth.

"I know, Zo. I know." Kate smoothed her daughter's back.

"Are _you_ tired?" Castle asked her just as the ding let them know that they had reached their floor.

"I'm okay," she answered, waiting for him to fish out his keys.

"Mommy?" Zoey murmured again, "Are we home?"

Kate hadn't told Castle that she had been thinking about that whole 'moving in' conversation all day. She had expected him to bring it up during dinner but he hadn't even hinted at it.

Now, Kate considered what Lanie had told her and suddenly, the answer to Zoey's question just seemed so completely obvious.

Kate walked through the threshold, pausing in front of Castle. "Yeah, baby girl," she answered softly, "We're home."

* * *

_A/N: I am posting this chapter early and I _MAY _update a tad more frequently because I have this plot bunny in my head for a new story that I just can't shake... And I promised myself that I couldn't _start_ a new story until I finished the one I was working on... though, I might wait until I see what happens in the two-parter episodes in case I get majorly Jossed. Anyway, enough rambling from me - I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)_


	24. MINE

**Chapter 24**

.

_7:00a_

Kate rolled over to turn off the alarm.

"Don't go," Castle mumbled, reaching out for her.

Kate let him drag her back against his body but not before grabbing her cellphone off the bedside table. She checked to see if she had any messages even as she felt his hot breath on her neck. "Castle," she scolded, when she felt his hand inching up and under her tank top, "I have to get ready for work."

"Oh, come on, Kate," he murmured into her ear, "You don't need an hour to get ready."

"I don't like rushing," she said, even as she let Castle grab the cellphone out of her hand and drop it on the carpet.

He rolled on top of her and replied with a glint in his eyes, "Neither do I." He drew out a long kiss from her lips, pulling away just long enough to add, "I think we should just take our time—" his fingers trailed back down her stomach "—don't you?"

"Castle, I—" she let out a moan.

It only encouraged his wandering hands. "—Yes...?" he replied, cheekily.

Her body arched up on its own accord. "Okay, fine," she said breathily, "Just once."

"Once for you?" He started to slide off her shorts and her panties. "Or once for me?" She gasped. "Because I think you're almost…"

She cut him off abruptly, pulling his face down to kiss him, hard. The way he was teasing her already made her want to scream but there was no way she would traumatize the other two people in the house by doing so. Without pulling away, she used her legs to push his boxers down.

"Oh, are we rushing now?" he said with a grin.

"Shut up, Castle," she said, wrapping her legs around his torso.

That was as far as they got, though, because two seconds later a light knock sounded from their door followed by, "Mommy! Daddy! I want juice!"

"Son of a—" Kate rapidly pushed a very dissatisfied Castle off of her.

"You?" he whispered furtively, "What about _me_?"

Luckily, they had a child safety knob over their door so Zoey couldn't just walk in but usually she wasn't even able to get out of her bedroom by herself. It was too dangerous for Zoey to be walking around the house without them being aware – especially since the little girl often woke up earlier than they did.

"Did you forget to secure the baby gate on her door last night?" Kate asked as she jumped out of bed to grab her robe.

"I don't know," said Castle, pulling his boxers back on, "I thought you did it!"

"I was taking a shower when you tucked her in!"

"Yeah, but you always like to check in on her before you go to bed!"

Kate let out a disgruntled noise.

"Can't we just chalk this up to a one-time instance of bad communication?" Castle said.

"Yeah, yeah," Kate replied, already opening the door. "Good morning, Zo," she said.

"Morning mommy!" Zoey exclaimed. "Can I have juice?"

Kate glanced at the clock – now, she was definitely going to be late and she still had to take a shower – and then at Castle. Her eyes flicked down from his eyes to the pillow he had over his lap and then back up again. He shook his head slightly and her eyes flew skyward in amusement.

"Hi daddy!" Zoey called to him.

"Morning, Zo," he said with a smile, "Mommy's going to get juice for you first and then I'll come down to make you breakfast after I've brushed my teeth. How does that sound?"

Zoey nodded and Kate took her hand to lead her out, shutting the door behind them.

Castle flopped back down on the bed and groaned in frustration.

.

_11:30a_

"Bye dad! Bye Zo!"

The two of them watched as Alexis waved one last time before disappearing past the security checkpoint at JFK.

"Where Lexi going?" Zoey asked for the tenth time since she had woken up, anxiety returning now that they were actually at the airport and Alexis was actually leaving.

"Lexi is visiting her mommy," Castle replied, "Remember?"

"When Lexi coming back?" she asked, grasping Castle's hand as they made their way back out to the parking lot.

"In two weeks," he said, "Fourteen days."

Zoey nodded, although Castle knew she hadn't quite grasped the concept of time. Sure enough, "How many sleeps?" Zoey asked.

Castle took a deep breath. He definitely needed a coffee after the morning he had had.

.

_1:13p_

Castle knew he was lucky that Alexis had always had such a kind and agreeable nature. Likewise, he knew that Zoey's easy-going personality could not be attributed solely to his stellar parenting skills. However, Castle had never realised just _how_ lucky he was until that very moment, while being forced to wait in line at a packed Starbucks.

The line was barely moving and Zoey was standing next to Castle, quietly conversing with her stuffed bunny rabbit, when another little girl suddenly tore through the line and bumped into her.

"Hey!" said Zoey, rubbing at her shoulder, stuffed animal now on the floor.

The other child had been running away from her parents who had just made it to the front of the line. Before the father could catch up to her, though, the girl managed to knock over a display of French presses and travel mugs.

Castle bent down and picked up both Zoey and the slightly dirtied white bunny so that they wouldn't get bowled over twice.

"Are you okay, Zo?" he asked, giving her a consoling kiss on the cheek.

Zoey pointed to her arm. "Just a little owwie, not a big owwie."

He took the fact that she wasn't crying as a good sign. Still, "How about I take a look?" Castle asked.

Zoey's pigtails bobbed up and down. Castle slid her purple cardigan off of her right shoulder to reveal her arm. He made the motion to lift up the edge of her blue t-shirt even though he knew there wouldn't be a bruise. Rubbing the arm gently, he said, "You're okay. Nothing there."

Zoey pouted, "But, she didn't say sorry."

"I know, sweetie," he replied, "That wasn't very nice."

Zoey still looked bothered. "But you and mommy tell me to say sorry when I hurted somebody. So, she should say sorry!"

"Well, maybe that little girl's mommy and daddy didn't teach her that," said a male voice behind them.

Castle turned around to see who had spoken. It was an older gentleman, about the same age as Martha, who looked annoyed and less than impressed at the continued antics of the child (who was now screaming for a cookie).

"Your daughter is very well-behaved," the man continued.

Now that Castle had turned around, he could see that a pair of siblings – a boy and a girl, neither older than six – were poking at each other with straws. He could tell it wouldn't be long before one or both of them ended up in tears. Castle directed his attention back at the man, "Do you have any children?" he asked.

"Two boys," he replied, "But they're all grown up now." He gave the parents at the front a disapproving glare. "And they were never so disrespectful. Kids nowadays are completely spoiled."

Castle refrained from responding to that. He did his own share of spoiling Zoey and Alexis. "Well, I think it depends on the child as well," he said instead.

"Daddy." Zoey interrupted the conversation with a poke to Castle's chest. She was holding up the stuffed bunny by one of its ears. "Flopsy is dirty now."

Castle's conversation with the other man had also caught the attention of some of the other customers in line (who had been glad to hear something besides the screaming of the child at the front and the crying of the children in the back).

"I'm sure that's nothing a bath can't fix," said the woman in front of them. She was young, probably the same age as Castle himself.

Zoey looked at the woman dubiously. "I don't think Flopsy likes baths." She gripped the ear tighter, "I like Flopsy this way."

Castle shared a smile with the woman. To Zoey, he said, "I think Flopsy will feel just as fluffy and look just the same after a bath."

"Especially if your daddy puts Flopsy into a pillowcase and then let him air dry near a dehumidifier," said the woman with a wink before walking up to the register to finally place her order.

Castle chuckled. "Thanks," he said after her.

Zoey tilted her head up to look at Castle. "Are you sure, daddy?" she asked, "I don't want a new Flopsy."

"I'm very sure," said Castle. He then pointed to the little open fridge beside them. "Do you want an apple juice, honey?"

Zoey nodded. "Can we get a cookie for mommy?" she asked.

Castle grinned. "For mommy? Or for Zoey?"

Zoey's guilty expression immediately revealed her true intentions.

"Tell you what," said Castle, "Why don't we go buy mommy a real lunch first and then, maybe, on our way home, we can go get some cupcakes for dessert tonight?"

Zoey wasn't one for temper tantrums anyway but Castle didn't miss the relieved look on the barista's face when Zoey accepted Castle's suggestion without breaking down into tears.

.

_2:00p_

"Wow," said Castle, "How come I never get this kind of welcome?"

He and Zoey had arrived at the precinct a few minutes ago and within seconds, Zoey had been lured away by a group of detectives.

"You just have to get over the fact that you're not that cute, Castle," said Karpowski, walking past him towards the lounge. "And Beckett's out with the boys. Chasing down a suspect."

"Thanks," he replied, only slightly mopey about not getting to see Kate. He sat down at her desk, purposely readjusting her seat (there had to be _some_ indication that he had been there, after all) and placed the takeout box with the Reuben sandwich in it squarely in the centre.

Spotting a stack of scrap paper in the corner, he picked up a sheet.

.

_3:02p_

Kate finished the sandwich before she even spotted the piece of paper taped to the inside of her desk lamp. He never left a note in the same spot twice.

_Kate,_

_Tonight. No interruptions._

Before she could even react, Kate felt the note being lifted out of her hand.

"Unsigned, huh? Like it's a big mystery who this is from."

Kate turned around in her chair and grabbed it back from Lanie. "You know, I really hate when you do that."

Lanie smirked. "So what's this about interruptions?"

Now it was Kate's turn to smirk. If there was anything Lanie hated, it was a nugget of information that she wasn't privy to. Ripping up the note and dropping it in the recycling, Kate spun back around to face her desk. "Is there a reason you're up here, Lanie? Normally, I'm the one who visits _you_."

There was a minute of silence while Lanie answered a message on her phone. Finally, "Anomaly in the exit wound," she answered and dropped the file folder that she had been holding onto the desk.

In the middle of flipping through the pictures, Lanie suddenly held her cellphone in front of Kate's face. It was a text from Esposito:

_Morning delight interrupted by baby B-C._

Kate grabbed at the phone. "What the—" she spluttered.

"Something about 'bros before hos'?" Lanie said with a grin.

"And what exactly is 'B-C' supposed to mean?"

"Baby Beckett-Castle," chimed in Esposito from his desk, loud enough for most of the bullpen to hear.

Ryan then felt the need to add, "_Duh_."

"You guys are dead, you know that?" The phone started to look like a weapon in Kate's hand.

"Us—" Esposito gestured at him and Ryan, "—or your boy, Castle, there?"

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Why don't you text him back my response and see how funny he thinks he is now?"

"What response?" Ryan asked.

Kate held up a finger as she scrawled onto a sheet of paper. Holding it up, the boys read: _How would you like going from a baritone to a soprano?_

.

_3:11p_

Castle winced as he imagined the many ways Kate could make that happen.

.

_3:19p_

Kate's phone notified her of a new voicemail. It was Zoey's voice that greeted her:

_Hi mommy! Today a girl hurted me and she didn't say sorry and I was very mad. Daddy says you're mad too so I told him to say sorry and he did. Daddy says he's very sorry, mommy and that means you have to forgive him now. Oh! And we got cupcakes for dessert for tonight! Your favourites and my favourites! I love you mommy! Bye!_

Kate saved the message. Then, she typed out a reply.

.

_3:23p_

Castle opened the text: _That's cheating. _

He grinned. Apology accepted.

.

_6:37p_

"Did Alexis call you yet?"

Kate wandered into the kitchen where Castle was making dinner. She had changed out of her work clothes and into black leggings and an old purple t-shirt.

"Yeah," he answered, breaking off the inedible part of an asparagus stalk, "Meredith's already driving her crazy."

"Hm," Kate plucked a sliced cucumber out of the salad bowl and tossed it in her mouth, "Maybe I'll call her later. See how she's settling in." She peered over his shoulder, "Do you need any help?"

He tilted his head back and gave her a quick kiss. "No, salad's done and salmon's almost ready."

Kate grinned, "Are you making up for this afternoon?"

"How about I make it up to you later on tonight?" he answered suggestively.

She slapped his arm, "Isn't that what got you into trouble in the first place?"

"I'll let you punish me."

Kate rolled her eyes.

.

_9:07p_

Castle stepped out of the bathroom after his shower to find that Kate wasn't in their bedroom. Zoey must have demanded an extra bedtime story.

He walked the few steps from their bedroom and stopped at the threshold of their daughter's door. He stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt the scene in front of him.

The room was dim, save for the shooting star lamp in the corner but Castle could clearly make out Kate curled up beside Zoey, singing softly to her while rubbing her back. He loved hearing Kate sing when she thought nobody else was listening. When she sang to Zoey, there was no pride or inhibition involved – it was just Kate, open and unconcerned about sounding good. Except, of course, she always sounded the most beautiful during those times. It also helped that the jazzy, smoky quality of Kate's voice seemed to perfectly suit nighttime lullabies.

"Mommy," Castle heard Zoey murmur, "Sing the 'dreaming' song."

Kate smiled, "Okay but this is the last one."

Zoey sighed, knowing their routine, "Okay, mommy, I'll close my eyes now."

"Good girl." She leaned in to kiss the tip of Zoey's nose before starting softly: "_Stars shining bright above you. Night breezes seem to whisper I love you. Birds singing in the sycamore tree…"_

Kate started to gently extract herself out of Zoey's bed midway through the song, though her voice never wavered: "_Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you. Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you. But in your dreams, whatever they be…"_

"…_dream a little dream of me_," Castle finished.

Kate looked up to see him standing in the doorway and met his gaze with a smile. Turning off the lamp, she made sure Zoey's nightlights were on before joining him.

She closed the door behind them before questioning him teasingly, "And why are you smiling so widely?"

He surprised her a little when he pulled her in for a kiss. "Because you're extraordinary."

.

_10:00p _

Castle and Kate finally finished what they had started that morning.

* * *

_A/N: I know this chapter strays a little from the normal structure but I had planned for it to be another 'light on the plot, heavy on the fluff, fluff, and more fluff' chapter. Then, when I started writing, it just turned into this 'Day in the Life' thing so I decided to roll with it. _

_(And, the song that Kate was singing to Zoey was: '_Dream a Little Dream of Me'_, one of my all time favourite songs! Many, many artists throughout the years have covered it although I believe the version by Mama Cass remains the most popular. Also, I highly recommend checking out Zooey Deschanel's beautiful rendition of it on YouTube!)_

_Anywhoozles, hope it was enjoyable! We will be returning to our regularly scheduled programming in the next chapter. ;) Oh, and a MASSIVE THANK YOU to all of you for reading and helping me reach 1000+ reviews! In the words of Sally Field: _You like me! You really like me! (well, not _me_, more like my _writing_ but... oh, you guys get the gist)... ;)


	25. IS

**Chapter 25**

.

"Castle, I have no idea how you do this every day," Esposito said when he finally spotted him entering the precinct.

Zoey, who was sitting cross-legged atop Esposito's desk with a stack of construction paper and crayons, looked up. "Hi daddy," she said, arms reaching out for him. She looked lethargic and Castle could bet she was overdue for a nap.

He smiled and picked her up, "Hey sweetheart. Did you have fun today?"

Zoey shrugged, resting her head on his shoulder.

"This is what I'm saying, man!" Esposito chimed in, "Finding ways to entertain her was harder than…"

"…solving a murder?" Castle supplied.

"I'm freakin' exhausted. She was climbing the stairs and running around the house and—"

"—Are you seriously telling me that you couldn't keep up with a two and a half year old?" Castle asked.

"Look," Esposito started, tone defensive, "She is _tiny_. She gets into all of these nooks and crannies that I didn't even know existed!"

Castle laughed, "Yeah, she's pretty fast." Then, more seriously, he added, "But thanks for helping us out this morning."

Kate and Castle had both overlooked the fact that Alexis wouldn't be here for a couple of weeks and had ended up with conflicting schedules. Consequently, they had had to rely on their friends a lot more for last-minute babysitting duties. This particular day, Esposito didn't have to be at the precinct until three so Lanie had volunteered his services. Lanie hadn't said as much but Esposito had suspected this was her way of testing his abilities (or lack thereof) with children.

"I'm just happy to be back at work chasing real criminals," Esposito said. "And, before you ask, Beckett's interrogating a suspect."

Castle pretended to be affronted. "Am I that predictable?"

"No, you're just that whipped."

Castle grinned but didn't deny it. "I'm going to wait in the lounge, then."

Esposito nodded, already distracted with a case file, "I'll let Beckett know."

Castle didn't have to wait long. By the time he had lulled Zoey to sleep, Kate appeared with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Bad interrogation?" he asked quietly.

Kate nodded, placing her empty coffee cup on the counter and then walking over towards them. She placed a light kiss against her daughter's hair. "I heard Esposito didn't exactly have an easy time this morning."

"Yeah, just don't tell Lanie that," he replied. He shifted Zoey onto one arm so that he could wrap his other around Kate's waist. "You okay?"

Kate smiled up at him. "Well, I'm feeling much better n_ow_," she said, giving him a kiss before pulling away to refill her coffee.

All of the movement seemed to have jolted Zoey and she murmured something in her sleep. On instinct, Castle rubbed her back soothingly until he felt her relax again. "Go back to sleep, baby girl," he whispered softly.

.

"Thanks for agreeing to do this, Jenny," Castle said.

He was standing in the doorway, ready to leave, after dropping Zoey off at Ryan and Jenny's for the night.

"It's no problem," Jenny said, "You and Kate never seem to have time to go out alone."

The front door bumped Castle in the back when it opened. "Oh, sorry," said Ryan, "I didn't know you were standing there." He stepped inside and gave Jenny a kiss. "Beckett left the precinct a good fifteen minutes before I did," he informed Castle, "So, she's probably back at your place by now."

Castle nodded.

"And…" Ryan paused, "She might be a little testy."

"What did you and Esposito do?" Castle asked with a grin.

"Nothing!" Ryan said defensively. "This time it wasn't us."

The way Ryan said it somehow made Castle believe him. "Okay," he said, "I better get going then." He looked at Ryan, "I already told Jenny but Zoey's had her dinner and her bath so she's all set for the night. And, no matter what she tells you, she should be in bed by nine, at the latest." Then, to the both of them, he said, "Kate and I will call before we come tomorrow. We have to pick up Alexis at the airport at noon – so, we'll be over probably around ten?"

"That's fine," Jenny said and then called out, "Zoey! Do you want to say bye to your daddy?"

Castle caught Zoey when she ran full speed into him from the living room. "You be good, okay?" he said.

"Okay, daddy," said Zoey, giving him a loud kiss on the cheek.

He set her down and ruffled her hair. "Bye, Zo. I love you."

Zoey waved until Castle disappeared into the elevator.

.

"Kate?"

Castle entered the loft, not hearing any footsteps or sounds coming from upstairs where he had expected Kate to be getting ready. He dropped his keys onto the kitchen counter before noticing bare feet poking out from the side of a couch. He quietly walked into the living room and was greeted with a fully dressed and clearly exhausted Kate Beckett lying curled up on her side with her eyes firmly shut. She seemed dead to the world and if she had heard him come in, she made no acknowledgement of it.

He smiled down at her for a minute before deciding that their date could be postponed. Grabbing the blanket from the love seat beside him, he placed it gently over Kate, the action finally causing her to stir.

"It's okay. It's just me," he whispered as he slipped in behind her, coaxing her so that she stretched out over the length of the couch. Trailing his fingers gently down the length of her arm, he murmured, "Long day?"

"Mhmm." She turned so she was facing him, her hand moving to lightly grasp at the material of his shirt. Her eyes remaining closed even as she sighed out, "You're warm."

Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her back to bring her closer, "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

She searched his lips out, "Maybe later," she said, after drawing out a long kiss.

He turned her so that she was spooned up against him. "Go back to sleep," he said.

"What about our reservation?" she mumbled, not really sounding all that concerned.

"We'll order a pizza later," he answered.

She tugged his arm closer around her body. "Stay with me," she whispered.

He closed his eyes before whispering back, "Always."

.

"I received an interesting phone call today."

Kate walked into Castle's study Monday after work, greeting Alexis – who was happily vegging out now that she was finally back home – as she walked past the living room. She'd had a late night so Zoey had already gone to bed.

"Oh yeah? From who?" Castle asked distractedly, fingers still flying over the keys of his laptop.

She walked over to his side of the desk, perching herself on the edge. "From your publisher."

He looked up at that. "Paula? What did she want?"

"Per_missi_on."

"Permission?" he furrowed his eyebrows, "For what?"

"You tell me." Kate crossed her arms, "She seemed to think you wouldn't be willing to go on a European book tour without my consent. Now, _why_ would she think that?"

Castle immediately winced and averted his eyes. "Oh. That."

"Castle," Kate started, exasperated, "Have you been putting your career on hold because of Zoey? Because of me? That's not what I want from you – you know that, right?"

Castle got up from his chair and walked over to close the door to his office, giving Alexis a reassuring smile before doing so. He turned back to face Kate. "It was back in November when Paula first asked me to go to Europe for a month. For the release of the third _Nikki Heat _book."

"She told me you refused."

"I would have gone if it hadn't been for such a long stretch of time," he answered, "I couldn't leave Zoey for an entire month." He walked over to stand in front of her. "What if she had forgotten who I was?" he added to lighten the mood.

"Don't joke, Castle," Kate said, "This is serious. I don't want you to pass up opportunities because you feel like you have to be the stay-at-home parent. I would have managed without you for that month. We could have worked something out."

He sighed, "I know that, Kate. And I wasn't passing up on any opportunity that I haven't been offered a million times before – nothing's new in my line of work anymore. I've pretty much seen it all."

"Well, then if you have to go do promotion for your books or for the movies as a part of your _job_, I understand that, too."

"Kate," he grasped her shoulders, "I know you understand. In fact, I knew you would get mad at me for turning this stuff down, which is why I didn't tell you about it in the first place." He grinned at her, "You're not the boss of me, you know. It was my _choice_ not to go. I _am _allowed to turn things down of my own accord."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Okay, well, I still don't agree with _why_ you turned the trip down. Because you feel like you have Zoey tying you down."

"Kate," he said, voice suddenly deadly serious, "That's not what I feel. I don't find taking care of Zoey as any kind of burden – it's a responsibility, sure, but it's a responsibility I'm more than happy to have." He tipped her chin up with a finger so that she met his eyes, "I didn't go on that trip because I didn't want to miss a second of Zoey growing up." Kate smiled at that. He continued, "And a month is a long time to be separated especially since, in November, we had just started to get official about our relationship. Kate, I find myself missing you by the end of the day. Can you imagine if I had to go a _month _without seeing you? I'd go insane."

"Like you aren't already," she replied, draping her arms around his neck lightly. She had been touched by his words even if she had brushed them off as a joke. Leaning in, she gave him a drawn-out, bordering salacious kiss to show her appreciation.

When they separated, he looked at her in amusement, "What was that for?"

She swiped a finger across his lips to wipe off the lipstick that had transferred there. "Because you're sweet," she responded.

He grinned, "I'm sorry, can you say that again? I'm not sure I caught that."

She looked at him wryly. "Don't push your luck."

Castle gave her one last peck on the cheek before he walked back over to his laptop, sitting down to open up his email. "So, did Paula tell you any more about this latest trip?" he asked, suddenly remembering how this conversation had started in the first place, "Because I haven't actually heard _anything_ about it – I didn't even know she wanted me to do another tour."

"She said something about doing a simultaneous world-wide release of the fourth _Nikki Heat_," Kate replied, "I thought she would have called you after she had called me."

Castle shook his head. "Nope. I think she knew we would have _this_ little conversation so she's no doubt waiting for _me _to call _her_."

Kate smiled a little as she made her way to the door. "Smart woman."

"You should have just told her that you wouldn't allow me to go under any circumstances."

"What? And miss your whining and complaining?" Kate turned the knob, "Why would I do that?"

.

"So," Castle said, plopping down on their bed later on that night, "How do you feel about taking a family trip to Europe for three weeks?"

* * *

_A/N: I apologise that this chapter is a bit shorter than you're used to! I wanted to cut it off and have the Europe trip stand on its own... still, I hope there was enough fluff to sustain you...!_


	26. YOURS

**Chapter 26**

.

"You're applying on behalf of Zoey Queller?" the passport agent asked Castle.

"Yes," he handed her the stack of forms, relevant photocopies, and identification documents.

"You're her father?"

Castle shook his head, "No."

Zoey, who was in his arms, decided at that exact moment to catch his attention. "Daddy! Look at the doggie!"

The agent raised her eyebrows.

"Okay," said Castle, "I'm not _technically_ her father. It's complicated."

"Uh huh," she said. She picked up the adoption decree, "Her mother is Katherine Beckett?"

"That's right. She's my girlfriend," Castle responded, "She has sole custody of Zoey."

She looked behind them, "And where is she?"

"She was waiting with us but she literally _just_ got called away," Castle said and then explained, "Kate's a police detective and she was notified of a case so she had to leave. We asked another passport agent if I could apply for Zoey since we didn't want to have to come back tomorrow and wait in line for another two hours."

She flipped through the papers. "Do you have a signed affidavit granting you authorization?"

Castle shook his head, "No, the other guy checked my ID and Kate had mistakenly filled out a Statement of Consent anyway so he told us it should be okay – I just had to explain the situation."

The agent shook her head, clearly annoyed – although at Castle or at her fellow colleague for dispensing erroneous information, he couldn't tell. "Well, he shouldn't have told you that," she said, "The Statement of Consent is only applicable in cases where a non-applying _parent_ or _official guardian _isn't available to come in. Otherwise, the person with sole custody of the child must appear _in person_ with the minor in question. Barring a notorized written statement authorizing you, Mr—"

"—Castle. Richard Castle," he supplied, hoping the woman would recognize his name. He wasn't normally willing to exploit his celebrity in this way but a two and half hour wait and their impending flight had made him desperate.

"Right, well, Mr. Castle, a written statement from the parents, or in this case the mother, is required. Otherwise, a third-party is not allowed to apply for a passport on the child's behalf."

"But—"

"—I'm sorry, Mr. Castle. Those are the rules. No exceptions."

Castle made a noise of frustration. "You're telling me that we have to come back tomorrow and line up _again_?"

She shrugged, "Unless you can prove that you also have legal custody of Miss Queller, yes, Ms. Beckett will have to return to the passport office with her daughter." She gave him an apologetic look and then added, "Love your books, though."

.

"Are you excited? I'm excited," said Castle cheerfully, winding his way through the first-class lounge before settling on a table near the window so Zoey could watch the planes take off. After wasting five hours of their lives at the passport office, everything had finally gotten sorted out and they were currently waiting to board their plane.

"I've been to Europe before, Castle," Kate answered. She dropped her and Zoey's carry-ons on the floor. Alexis had run off with Zoey upon entering so that they could explore the snacks that were available. "But yes," she continued with a smile, "I'm excited."

"Because, this time, you're going with _me_, right?"

Kate shook her head, amused, "I'm more excited at the fact that I haven't had a real vacation in a long time."

"According to the Chief, you could stay in Europe for six months and _still_ have unused vacation days."

"Well, I've never had a reason to use them before," she answered.

Castle smiled widely at Kate's coy implication, "Now you'll always have somebody to travel with."

Kate's attention was drawn away when Alexis and Zoey returned from their adventure.

"Really?" Castle said, looking at Alexis' plate of pastries, "We had dinner less than two hours ago."

Alexis grinned, "We didn't have time to eat dessert." She looked pointedly at Castle, "You know you want one, dad."

Castle didn't even try to deny it. "How much longer until we board?" he asked Kate after taking a huge bite out of a cherry Danish.

Their flight from JFK was due to take-off at 22:05.

Kate checked her watch. "It's nine o'clock so maybe another half hour?"

"Oh, Kate," said Alexis, "The guy said he'd bring over the milk after he's warmed it. He was super nice."

"Thanks, Alexis," Kate replied. She looked over at Zoey, who was leap-frogging back and forth in front of their table. She had been running on adrenaline all day – excited about going to the airport, getting on a plane for the first time, and the trip as a whole. Consequently, even though it was past her bedtime, Zoey still looked completely wired. "I'm hoping it works to get her to sleep on the plane. Otherwise she's going to be unbearably cranky when we arrive in London in the morning."

Kate didn't have anything to worry about. By the time they boarded, Zoey was struggling to keep her eyes open with her thumb in her mouth. Kate's fear of being one of those annoying people whose child cried throughout the entire flight was also allayed when Zoey – after a slight disturbance from the changing cabin pressure at take-off – fell asleep, not waking up until they landed the next morning at Heathrow.

.

"Okay, I officially want a _case_ of that Turkish Delight," said Alexis. They had spent most of the day at Tate Modern and had just finished dinner at a Turkish restaurant nearby. "That was, hands down, the best I have ever had."

"I think we should stock up on the chocolate here," Castle chimed in, "It tastes so much better."

"Let's go shopping tomorrow, Kate," said Alexis, "I'm going to ask the concierge tonight about the best places to go."

"That sounds good," said Kate, tapping Castle's shoulder to stop walking while she zipped up Zoey's jacket. They had decided to walk across the Millenium Bridge and the night had gotten chilly.

"I would ask you to come, dad," Alexis continued, "But—"

"—I have interviews all day," he finished with a groan, "Must you rub in the fact that I have to work?"

"It's nice to have the roles reversed, don't you think?" said Kate with a grin.

.

On Wednesday, after visiting King's Cross Station so that Alexis could take a picture at Platform 9¾, Kate decided to go visit Castle at his book signing since it was nearby.

The lineup was massive, stretching around two corners. Kate remembered the last time she had gone to one of Castle's signings – she had been one of those fans standing in line, clutching his latest novel with clammy hands.

Kate was surprised when they were stopped at the entrance to the tiny bookstore. Not that she had expected people to know who she was but _Alexis _was easily recognizable, having gone on enough press tours with Castle to be photographed.

"I'm sorry," said the employee who was standing guard, "The store is closed for a book signing right now."

"We know," said Kate. "That's what—"

The guy rudely cut her off, "—Then you should make your way to the end of the queue."

Kate gave the middle-aged, balding man a staredown.

He didn't seem to register the threat. "These people have been camping out all day," he continued, "We're not letting anybody else in—" he gave her a once-over, "—no matter how hot they are."

Alexis responded before Kate could give this guy a piece of her mind. "I would watch what you say next," she said, "She's a cop. She could knock you out without breaking a sweat."

"And also," Kate said in disgust, "She might not be a minor—" she nodded at Alexis, "—but she _is_." She made sure the man looked down and saw Zoey holding onto her and Alexis' hands.

"What is going on here, Colin?" A woman, who had a nametag that read 'manager', approached the four of them.

"Your employee needs a lesson in respect," Kate snapped, still glaring at Colin. She directed her attention at the woman then, her tone no longer biting, "My name is Kate Beckett and this is Alexis _Castle_." She saw Colin's expression change into abject horror out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes, of _course_, Ms. Beckett, Mr. Castle has been talking about his family all morning. My name is Isabelle. I'm terribly sorry about the mix-up." She ushered the three of them in, shooting a venomous look at her employee. "I apologise for Colin," she said, "We've just been having a lot of people try to push their way to the front of the line."

"That's okay," said Alexis, even though she was still annoyed, "My dad does have a lot of crazy fans."

Kate felt Zoey's grip loosen from her hands. "Daddy!" she yelled, running across the store and nearly tripping over a wire.

"Be careful, Zo," Kate said, steadying her before reminding her to walk carefully.

Castle told the two girls at the front of the line to give him a second, capping his black Sharpie before standing up to catch Zoey and lift her into the air. "This is a surprise," he said with a huge smile.

"We were in the neighbourhood," Kate said, smiling back. Surrounded as they were by people, Kate leaned in to give him a quick kiss.

Castle raised his eyebrows at the anomalous behaviour, "Trying to make all of these women jealous?" he teased.

"I'm making an exception since we're in a foreign country," Kate quipped back.

Some of the people suddenly seemed to realise that Kate wasn't just Castle's girlfriend but also the inspiration for Nikki Heat. Alexis was the one who started to see the information getting passed down the line. "Uh, Kate," she whispered, "Maybe we should get out of here before they start asking for _your_ picture."

Kate and Castle both turned around. "Guess you're not staying then?" he asked.

Kate shook her head. "We just dropped by to see how you're doing and how long you still had but—" she gestured to the door, "—judging by the amount of people outside, I'd say a couple of hours at least."

"Stay with daddy?" Zoey asked.

"Are you sure, Zo?" said Alexis, "It's going to be really boring."

Zoey pouted, "But I want to!"

Castle looked at Kate, "Where are you guys heading?"

"Alexis wanted to go to Covent Garden."

"Well, that's not too far, right? Why don't you two go, leave Zoey here with me, and then come back when you're done."

"She won't be too distracting?" asked Kate.

Castle shook his head. "She might even make this whole thing more entertaining."

"No more walking," Zoey stated resolutely, knowing she was close to getting her way.

Kate chuckled. "All right, Zo, you can stay here. Lexi and I will come back for you in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Promise I gonna be a good girl," Zoey replied, nodding earnestly.

.

For the first half hour, Zoey sat in Castle's lap while he signed books, saying 'hi' to everybody and eliciting a lot of 'awws' and 'how lovelys'.

"Is this your daughter?" asked a woman who looked to be about mid-thirty.

Castle nodded.

"She looks a lot like you."

"Oh really?" Castle said, hiding a smile.

"The dark hair, definitely," continued the woman, "And the charming smile."

"Thank you," he said, handing the book back to her. He didn't even think to counter her assumption. It never entered his mind to do so. He often forgot that, on paper, Zoey wasn't legally his. To him, it didn't make a bit of difference that Zoey wasn't biologically related; she was his daughter and that was all that mattered.

* * *

_A/N: I swear the bias that I have in choosing the cities that they go to _only_ has to do with the fact that I am trying to write what I know so the places I choose are the places I've been! ;) (To the person who suggested Hungary, I desperately want to visit Budapest but have yet to!) However, two shout-outs to anonymous reviewers since I can't PM you:_

**Meme: **_Thank you for your awesome review and in fact, I _will_ be sending them to (spoiler alert!) Switzerland – not necessarily to Basel but to a couple of other cities I _have_ been…! And YES, Switzerland is GORGEOUS. I absolutely envy you! I need to go back – I spent a whole summer studying French in the mountains. *sighs… the memories… _

**Castellum: **_Thanks for your all of your lovely praise! And I can absolutely relate to that story about your friend – I've taken (still am…) creative writing courses where the prof. has told me exactly that… it's all about editing! Also, I am _definitelynot_ a mum yet but I love that you thought I was! It means that I've managed to convince you with the details ;) As a writer, I just try to do a lot of observing… and googling._


	27. TO

**Chapter 27**

.

After London, they travelled to Geneva where Castle took part in the International Book Fair. He had company for the first day but was quickly abandoned on the second when Kate and Alexis were told by some other tourists that the Montreux Jazz Festival had just started.

It was an hour out of their way but well worth it. The city lay on the shores of Lake Geneva and the light breeze coming off the water made for a perfect stroll along the walkway. Weaving their way through the myriad of artisan booths and streetside vendors, they ended up lying down on a grassy knoll to enjoy a free concert.

Alexis got momentarily distracted from the music when she heard some people behind her mention New York. She turned around to see a group of students – American, now that she was paying closer attention – taking advantage of the legal drinking age in Switzerland being sixteen. She was about to point them out to Kate when her cellphone rang. She took one look at the caller and handed the phone to Kate.

"Hey Castle," Kate answered, still lying down as Zoey had fallen asleep draped across her stomach, "I hope you're having as much fun as we are." Alexis chuckled beside her. "Yes," Kate continued, "We'll make our way back tonight… no, you don't have to come out here to meet us… yeah, the water's beautiful… right, I'm sure… Castle, tell me you're not serious… Castle! Do _not_ rent a boat—"

Alexis looked down at Kate when it sounded like she had gotten cut off. Kate rolled her eyes and handed the cellphone back to Alexis. "Your dad wants to have dinner on a boat."

.

They celebrated the Fourth of July in sweltering Italian heat.

"I think my goal of trying every flavour of gelato was a little ambitious," said Alexis on their last night in Venice. She was currently trying _zabaione _while the four of them strolled through the Piazza San Marco after dinner, the music from a live string quartet filling their ears. "I don't think I even got through _half _of them."

"There's always next time," said Castle. He paused while Kate let Zoey try a little bit of her _frutti di bosco_. Castle was carrying the little girl because she was petrified of the pigeons that literally outnumbered the humans in the square.

A man carrying roses took that opportunity to approach them, "_Tre rose rosse per tre donne bellissime_?" he asked.

Before Kate could shake her head, no – which, he knew she would do – Castle asked, in English, "How much?"

Kate rolled her eyes but she still smiled widely when he handed her the rose, even giving him a quick kiss. Alexis beamed and took out her camera to capture the moment before accepting her own flower. "Thanks, dad," she said.

"And last but not least," Castle said, handing Zoey the last one. The rose was dethorned so he let her hold it herself. "Do you remember how they say 'thank you' here, Zo?"

Zoey tilted her head to ponder for a second before replying happily, "_Grazie_!"

.

Their last week was spent in Paris where the weather was near perfect. Once again, Castle had to work most days, so beyond having meals with them, it was often just Kate exploring the city with Zoey and Alexis. During their outings, Kate let Alexis – who was nearly fluent in French – do the talking. Castle had a working knowledge of the language but beyond asking where the washrooms were, Kate's grasp of the language was tenuous at best.

The three of them weren't too concerned with hitting all of the tourist attractions, preferring instead to go where their feet took them, making sure to stop in as many pastry shops as they could.

On their third warm and sunny day, Kate thought it would be fun to spend the afternoon in the _Jardin du Luxembourg_.

"Let's buy our lunch now so we can have a picnic," Alexis exclaimed.

"Yay! Picnic!" Zoey shouted in response.

Kate laughed at their enthusiasm. "Sure," she agreed easily.

They were looking for a grocery store when they passed a deli-café & bakery. The smell drifting out drew them in immediately.

Kate knew they were in trouble as soon as they stepped inside _Bread & Roses_. Personally, she wanted to try everything and by the look on Alexis' face, so did she.

"Okay," said Alexis, "We have to get a _macaron basilic aux framboises_. We can't come all the way to France without eating macarons."

After deciding on three more _tartelettes_, Kate interjected with, "We can't just eat dessert for lunch."

"Why not?" asked Alexis.

Kate gave her a look that couldn't be interpreted as anything besides 'disapproving parent'.

"Alright, alright," said Alexis.

They ended up getting San Danielle proscuitto with toast, two different slices of quiche, _une tarte feuilletée au chèvre et courgettes_, and an assortment of salads. All to go.

"We are going to have so much left over," Kate said as they walked through the park, looking for a good spot.

"We can bring some back for dad," Alexis replied.

They had a peaceful afternoon eating and watching marionette theatre. The only trouble came when Zoey caught sight of the pony rides – on _real_ ponies.

"Mommy, look," she pointed, "Horsies! I want to go."

Kate didn't have to check the sign to know that Zoey was too young. Though Kate wouldn't have trusted her daughter's ability to hang on even if she _had_ been allowed. She crouched down to Zoey's level to break the news. "I'm sorry, Zo but you're still too little to go on those ponies."

"Not little," Zoey shot back stubbornly, "I three years old."

Kate shook her head, "Even though you're almost three, you still have to wait."

Zoey stomped her feet. "I want to go on the horsie!"

"Zoey," Kate said, a bit more sternly this time, "The sign for the pony rides says you're not allowed and _I_ am telling you 'no'. Crying won't change that."

Zoey pouted and crossed her arms.

"I have an idea," said Alexis, who had been looking at a map of the park, "I think there might be some different kinds of horsies you can ride, Zo."

Needless to say, Zoey forgot all about the ponies (and the fact that she had been mad at Kate) when she caught sight of the old-fashioned merry-go-round.

.

On their last full day in the city, Castle was finally able to join them. They were walking down a street lined with high-end stores when Castle suddenly stopped in front of one.

"Let's go in here," he said.

Kate glanced at the displays. It was a jewelry store. "Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Because I need to get something for Grams' birthday," Alexis chimed in from Castle's other side, "And she loves the necklaces here."

This was the truth. It was also true that Castle had been trying to find the perfect engagement ring and he had conspired with his daughter to help him figure out what Kate liked.

"Well, why don't you two find something while I take Zoey to the toy store I saw back there?"

"No!" said Alexis, a little too adamantly, "I mean, dad is hopeless at picking out jewelry. I need _your_ opinion."

Kate looked back and forth between father and daughter. "All right," she said, slowly, still unsure about their motives.

"Great!" Alexis said, dragging Kate into the store before she could change her mind.

"Bonjour," greeted a sales associate. At these places, the customer service never drifted away from impeccable and the employees were always extremely accommodating. "Je m'appelle Gilles. Puis-je vous aider?" he asked, directing the question at Castle and Kate.

Alexis was the one who answered. "Oui, je veux acheter un collier pour ma grand-mère. Ça sera son anniversaire en août et je voudrais lui donner quelque chose de spécial." (_Yes, I would like to buy a necklace for my grandmother. Her birthday is in August and I would like to give her something special)._

Gilles smiled, "Votre grand-mère est chanceuse d'avoir une petite-fille comme vous," he said, "Venez avec moi. Je vous montrerai notre nouvelle collection." _(Your grandmother is lucky to have a granddaughter like you. Come with me. I'll show you our newest collection)._

While they were looking through display cases, checking out various pieces, Gilles asked questions about their family. He figured out pretty quickly that they were American and that Kate didn't understand a word he was saying. He politely switched over to a heavily accented English.

"She is your sister?" he asked Alexis who was carrying Zoey in her arms so that she could see all of the shiny necklaces as well.

"Yes," Alexis answered.

"But, you are not married?" Gilles asked Castle and Kate.

Kate shook her head, answering "No" while Castle answered "Pas encore". _(Not yet)_.

Kate shot him a look. "I hope you were just answering 'no' in French," she said, poking his chest.

"Absolutely," said Castle in a way that made Kate not believe him. "Tell you what, since you clearly don't trust me in here with you, how about _I _take Zoey to the toy store?"

"That's a good idea, dad," said Alexis, winking at him when Kate wasn't looking, "Zo is getting just as bored as you are anyway."

Kate nodded. "We'll call you when Alexis decides on a necklace for Martha."

"Come on, Zo," said Castle, reaching out for Zoey's hand. He turned to Gilles, making it seem like he was merely informing the sales associate that he would be back to pay. Instead, what he really said was: "Ma copine ignore absolument que j'ai l'intention de lui acheter une bague de fiançailles. Pourriez-vous aider ma fille à en trouver une qu'elle adore? Si vous pouvez en garder aussi jusqu'au demain matin, Je vais revenir pour rêgler la facture." _(My girlfriend has no idea that I want to buy her an engagement ring. Could you help my daughter find one that she loves? If you can also keep it until tomorrow morning, I'll come back to settle the bill). _

Castle had said all of this rather rapidly so he hoped that Kate hadn't caught on to any words that might have tipped her off.

Gilles gave Castle a knowing, conspiratorial smile, "Avec plaisir."

So, for the next hour, even though Gilles kept pushing her to try on different kinds of rings (interspersed with the occasional necklace and bracelet so as to minimize suspicion), Kate assumed that he was merely trying to earn commission. She didn't seem to suspect anything.

.

They saved their visit to the Eiffel Tower for that night, as a way to see the entire city one last time and say goodbye before they had to leave it tomorrow.

On their way up to the third observation level, the suspicions that Kate had felt that afternoon in the jewelry store came back to her. Even though they had decided, as a family, to visit on this particular night, the pure movie romance that was felt as they walked out of the elevator made Kate glance at Castle.

She couldn't help thinking that this was exactly the sort of thing Castle would do: get down on one knee at the top of the Eiffel Tower with the moon and the sparkling city lights as the perfect backdrop. She clearly remembered him saying, when Ryan was thinking up ways to propose to Jenny, that he thought proposals should be _big_. And if his last two marriages were any indication, he tended to enjoy coming up with the craziest, most elaborate ideas.

Kate jumped when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"What're you thinking?" he asked, smiling innocently as if she couldn't read him just as well as he read her.

If he was going to play it cool, then so was she. Kate walked over to the edge, resting her arms on the railing. "Nothing," she replied.

"Oh really?" he said, mimicking her stance. He made sure to stand close enough that their upper arms touched.

Kate turned her head and gave him a smile that looked almost like a dare. "What are _you_ thinking?"

"I was thinking," he said, stretching out his fingers to grasp for hers before continuing, "That it's very romantic up here."

Kate tried to hide the catch in her breath when she responded, "Yes, it is."

"And wouldn't it be the perfect place to propose to somebody?"

Kate stared at him. _Was he actually going to—_

"That's all," he finished.

Kate blinked. And then rolled her eyes.

He tugged at her hand and drew her towards him. She inhaled deeply when he kissed her, taking in a scent that was an equal mix of Castle and cool night air.

When he pulled back, his eyes had a mischievous glint to them. Just before he went to go find Alexis and Zoey, his hot breath caressed her ear. "_Soon,_" he whispered.

* * *

_A/N: I know Stana Katic speaks French but I don't remember if it was ever mentioned that _Beckett_ spoke French – I think she's spoken Spanish a few times? – anyway, for the purpose of this story, I'm going to say she doesn't...makes life more fun. And, yeah... I speak French but _not_ Italian so if I butchered the language in those few words, I apologise profusely!_

_P.S. So, did I effectively psych you guys out (re: a proposal)? I apologise for that as well but you have to know that in everyday life, I am not a fan of clichés so there was absolutely no way I would have written in a proposal scene atop the Eiffel Tower. Still, it was fun to tease right? (Please don't kill the writer!) ;)_


	28. LEAVE

**Chapter 28**

.

"Grams said we should call her again after we've checked into our hotel," Alexis said, hanging up her cellphone.

The four of them were standing in the middle of Vancouver International Airport, having decided to take a detour on their way home to New York from their séjour abroad. Alexis – from her weekly phone calls with her grandmother – had found out that Martha was visiting the city with, well, the technical term would be Castle's new stepfather.

Kate checked her watch. "Well, it's already 8:10. Does she actually want to meet up with us tonight?" She looked at Castle, "I was thinking we could just grab something to eat on the way to the hotel and then go to sleep early."

Castle nodded. "That's sounds really good, actually. I'm exhau—Zoey, NO." He interrupted himself to pick Zoey up mid-clamber. It was his third time telling her not to climb onto the baggage carousel. "What did I say about playing on that, Zoey? It's very, very dangerous."

Zoey had been relatively well behaved for the duration of their trip but she was clearly nearing the end of her rope. The combination of the late hours and changing timezones had severely messed up her schedule and with nothing to distract or excite her, Zoey did something she hadn't done in a long time: she threw a temper tantrum.

"I want to play! PUT ME DOWN," she yelled at the top of her lungs. "You're being a meanie! Let me go, lemme go, lemme gooo!"

Castle grimaced as Zoey started kicking and writhing in his arms. "Zoey," he said, above her screams, "I'm not going to let you go until you _calm down_, okay? I know you must be sleepy right now but—"

"I'M. NOT. SLEEPY!"

Kate, frankly, was surprised there hadn't been a meltdown earlier. She had thought that she had won the lottery with such an agreeable toddler but she should have known better: of course Zoey's first breakdown of the trip would happen in one of the most public places possible.

"Hey Alexis," she said, "I'm going to take Zoey away from here. Do you mind hanging onto—"

Alexis shouldered Kate's carry-on, "—yeah, sure. No problem." She winced when Zoey's cries increased in volume. "Do you want dad and I to meet you somewhere?"

"How about those totem poles we passed?" Kate replied, voice a bit strained as she tried to pry Zoey's death grip off of Castle's jacket.

Castle nodded after Zoey finally made it into Kate's arms. "Thanks, Kate," he said.

"You've got the next one, right?" Kate replied dryly as she walked away, much to the relief of the entire baggage claim area.

Kate received some stares while she walked around the airport, finally finding a relatively secluded corner. She opted to sit down on the carpet, placing Zoey, still kicking and screaming, beside her. And then, Kate waited. She let Zoey cry out all of her frustration, knowing the little girl wouldn't reach the point of dehydration before she tired herself out. As she had thought, not more than ten minutes later, Zoey's cries turned into whimpers, which then turned into sniffles.

It was only then that Kate started to talk. "Zoey, I know you feel very tired and very frustrated and that's why you threw a tantrum but what you did was not good behaviour. When you feel angry or upset, you _tell_ mommy and daddy that you're angry or upset, you do not kick and scream." Kate lifted her hand to brush some of the matted hair off of Zoey's forehead. "Do you understand?"

Zoey nodded and then launched herself onto Kate's lap.

Kate placed a kiss on her head, "Zo, mommy loves you so much."

"I know, mommy, me too," Zoey replied, voice low and raspy from her emotional outburst.

Kate looked down at Zoey's still red face, "How 'bout we go to the bathroom and then see if we can get you some juice?"

By the time Kate met up with Alexis and Castle fifteen minutes later, Zoey was already fast asleep in her arms.

.

The next day, after lunch at White Spot – where Castle was more excited than Zoey about the Pirate Paks – they met Martha on Granville Island. Dressed brightly as always, she wasn't hard to spot in the Public Market Courtyard.

"Grams!" Alexis exclaimed, running up to her grandmother, "I missed you so much!"

Zoey followed right behind Alexis but stopped just short of hugging Martha as well. They had only met the few times Martha visited New York, although each time, by the end of the trip, Zoey was calling her Grams right along with Alexis.

"Don't you remember your Grams?" Castle asked, picking her up so that she was eye-level. Zoey only shrugged shyly.

"How have you been, Martha?" Kate asked, stepping forward to give Martha her own hug. "I thought your husband would be joining us today."

"Oh," Martha waved her hand dismissively, "Roman is busy doing something or other for the new pilot he's producing."

Castle grinned, "Since he's this big Hollywood producer, have you tried asking him to cast you in a role yet, mother?"

"Richard! How dare you think I would engage in nepotism?" Martha pretended to be shocked and then added, "I have a small part in his next movie."

"Come on," Kate said, stopping Castle from making another comment, "I'm sure you can find more productive ways to use up all of that energy…" Castle opened his mouth but Kate cut him off, "I already know where your mind went, Castle."

.

"I feel like we should have sushi tonight," Alexis remarked from the passenger seat, "Every other block has a Japanese restaurant – they're definitely trying to tell us something."

"I could do sushi," Castle replied, turning around in the driver's seat at a red light to look at Kate, "How's she doing?"

Zoey was sprawled across the back seat of the rental car, head resting on Kate's lap. "She'll be out for the next hour, at least," Kate answered, gently stroking Zoey's hair.

"Do you want to head back to the hotel, then?" he asked.

"What time are we supposed to meet Martha?"

Martha had opted out of going to Stanley Park with them. Biking the seawall was not 'her thing', she had declared.

"She's with Roman at the studio," Alexis answered, "She told us to join her whenever we were done so we could discuss dinner plans."

"Well, it's way too early for dinner," Castle said, "But we could hang around the studio for a bit – and Kate, they could probably find a quiet room for us to let Zo nap."

"Sounds good," Kate replied.

"Besides," Castle continued, giving Alexis a faux pained expression, "I think your grandmother wants us to get to know your new grandfather a little better."

Kate shook her head, amused, "Why do you say it like that?"

She found out a couple of hours later. Walking out of a dressing room with a re-energised Zoey in tow, she met up with the four of them on one of the sound stages. Roman, it turned out, was just as melodramatic as Martha except with an extra sprinkling of loud and imposing. It was a match made in heaven.

"This is Kate," Castle introduced, "And—" he ruffled Zoey's hair, "—our little girl, Zoey."

"My dear!" Roman exclaimed, engulfing Kate in an unexpected hug, "I've heard so much about you!"

"You have?" Kate asked, looking to Martha who was grinning widely.

"Yes, of course! Martha talks about her family in New York all the time; she was so happy with the addition of a beautiful daughter-in-law and another precious grandchild!"

Castle shook her head at Kate, indicating it was pointless to argue the facts. So, Kate just smiled and responded with a polite "thank you."

"Roman was just telling us that he has to finish up with a casting session," Alexis said.

"Just down the hall," Roman pointed out, "But feel free to wander around the set; they're not filming here today."

The set was actually of a hospital and they were currently standing in the operating room.

"Zoey and I are going to explore," Alexis said after Roman had walked away.

"I think I'll join you," said Martha. She winked at Kate, "We have a lot to catch up on."

"Why do I suspect they'll be talking about us?" Kate asked.

"Probably because they are," Castle replied. He picked up a scalpel off of the prop tray, "I think this is real… it's shiny."

Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Come on, Castle," she said, "I need some coffee."

.

Zoey was standing in the middle of a long hallway by herself. She wandered first one way, where there were glass doors leading into small offices – some with people sitting at their desks though most were empty – and large rooms that had a lot of chairs. She turned back around to where she had come from, her eyes starting to fill up with tears.

Down the hallway, a petite woman with pixie-cut blonde hair exited from one of the doors. She did a double take when she spotted Zoey and walked towards her. "Hey sweetheart," she said, crouching down to Zoey's level, "Are you lost?"

"I—I lost L—Le—Lexi." It was then that the tears started to flow freely down Zoey's cheeks even as she blinked furiously to try and stop them.

The woman patted Zoey on the shoulder, "Don't worry, honey. I'll help you find Lexi. My name is Arielle, can you tell me your name?"

"Z…Zo..ey."

"Okay, Zoey," Arielle repeated, standing up and holding out her hand, "Now, who is Lexi? Do you remember what her last name is?"

Arielle Zielinski was a talent agent. She knew they were holding auditions today for children between the ages of two and four and she suspected that Zoey – with her porcelain face and bright grey eyes – was one of those kids.

After a beat, Zoey took a hold of Arielle's proferred hand. "Lexi is my big sister," she answered.

"And where did you last see her? Was it in a big room with toys and lots of other boys and girls?" Arielle asked, referring to the waiting room.

Zoey shook her head. "No. Bathroom. I had to go very bad."

"Hm. Maybe we should go back to the bathroom and see if Lexi is still waiting for you," Arielle replied.

Arielle led the way to the only two women's restrooms in that area. Nobody was frantically looking for a lost child at either of them.

Zoey started getting more and more distressed. "I want my mommy and daddy," she sniffled.

Arielle looked down at the little girl. "Did you come here with them, too?" she asked. They were making their way back to the casting office; Arielle hoped that somebody there would recognise Zoey.

Zoey nodded. "My mommy and daddy and Lexi and Grams."

'_That's a lot of people to accompany her to an audition,' _Arielle thought. She pushed open one side of the glass double doors and let Zoey slip underneath her arm.

"Miss Zielinski!" one of the producers said to her, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"I was on my way out when I saw this lit—"

"Zoey!" a loud voice boomed from behind Arielle.

"You know her?" Arielle asked Roman.

"Yes, of course," Roman said. He tried to pat Zoey on the head but she ducked away. "Zoey is my wife's granddaughter. Their family is here for a visit."

"Ohh, well, that makes more sense," said Arielle, "I found her wandering the hallways by herself."

Roman pulled out his cellphone. "I'd better call Martha," he said, "They must be worried sick."

Several minutes later, four people rushed into the waiting room, startling some of the other parents and children.

"Mommy!" Zoey yelled, jumping up from where she had been playing trains with a little boy.

"Oh my god, Zoey!" Kate picked her up and hugged her tight. "Where have you been?"

Castle bent down to kiss Zoey's cheek. "We were so worried!"

Arielle walked up to the family. "I found her wandering the second floor offices but she's absolutely fine. I thought she might have been here for the auditions – it worked out, I guess, because Roman recognised her."

"Well, thank you so much," Castle said, "I'm Rick, this is Kate—"

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Arielle."

"We're so grateful you found her," Martha chimed in, "It was my fault. Alexis took Zoey to the restrooms and I was supposed to be standing outside the door waiting…"

"Grams, you only turned around for a minute."

"It could have happened to anyone, Martha," Kate said.

Martha shook her head, "But it didn't."

"Don't blame yourself mother," Castle said, "Zoey's fine, she's okay."

Kate turned to Arielle. "We can't thank you enough," she said, with Zoey's arms still wrapped around her neck.

"I'm just glad I could help," Arielle replied. She paused for a beat and then reached into her purse, "Actually, now that everything is sorted out, I was wondering if your daughter already has representation…"

Kate looked confused. "Representation for what?"

"Well," Arielle handed Kate her card, "Have you ever considered acting or modelling for Zoey?"

"Darling!" Martha said, "What a marvellous idea. Another actress in the family."

"Oh, are you an actress?" Arielle asked.

Kate gave Castle a look as Martha started in on stories from her theatre days to the unsuspecting talent agent.

Arielle must've thought she was losing them because she only waited until Martha had gotten to the end of her sentence before continuing her pitch, "Zoey's just got this perfect combination of adorable and beautiful and she seems very bright and energetic. I think she could really have a career in the industry."

"Well, we don't live out here," Castle started, hoping Arielle would back off, "We live in New York a—"

"That's perfect! We have offices in the city, actually besides Los Angeles, our—"

"I think what Rick means to say is that we're not interested," Kate said.

Castle nodded and grinned at Martha, "_One_ actress in the family is definitely enough."

.

It was on the ferry, on their way to Victoria, that Martha finally got some time alone with Kate.

"It's windy out here," Martha said, joining Kate on the deck.

"But beautiful," Kate replied.

They both stood there for a while, leaning against the siderail and looking out at all of the tiny islands.

"This is the happiest I have seen my son in a long, long time," Martha said, finally breaking the silence, "And you are the reason."

"You know, I never thought I'd be with somebody who drove me so absolutely crazy but—" Kate shook her head with mirth "—he somehow manages to make me love him at the same time."

"Well, you complement each other," Martha said.

Kate took in a deep breath of ocean air. "You and Alexis and Castle have always had this wonderful bond… Zoey and I—"

"—you and that little girl in there are a part of that now."

Kate smiled. "Thanks, Martha."

"Richard could never settle for ordinary," Martha said, "It was always about the magic."

"Yeah, he believes in soulmates," Kate replied with a chuckle.

"And you don't?"

"I believe in family and belonging and loving one person the most for the rest of your life…"

Kate jumped when she felt an arm slide around her waist. She looked up to see Castle smiling at her. "I think that might be the same thing," he said.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks to _**2AM **_for getting my brain to think/churn out that first temper tantrum scene with Zoey! Your review for Ch. 27 inspired me to insert it and actually improve (at least, I hope!) upon the original chapter._

_Also, like Stana & Nathan, I am Canadian (in case you couldn't tell by the weird spelling)! Which is why, instead of sending them to California (where I've never been…) to visit Martha, I sent them to Vancouver… I lived in British Columbia for a bit and let me just say, you should all visit – Victoria is probably my favourite city in Canada. Do that before you visit Stana and Nathan's hometowns… I've lived near Edmonton and now I live close to Hamilton and no offense, but they are just not as pretty/interesting…. (The ocean's _right there, _guys!_ The OCEAN!)

_Okay, this author's note has been sufficiently pointless enough – I'm really sorry about the slight delay in updating but I had some trouble with this chapter… so, do tell me what you think…_


	29. OR

**Chapter 29**

.

Castle was in the zone. He was so immersed in Nikki Heat's universe that he didn't even acknowledge the ringing of his cellphone until he heard the beep that signalled he had a new voicemail message. He was tempted to just keep ignoring it when it rang again less than two minutes later.

Seeing Alexis' face flash up on the screen made him change his mind.

"Hey pumpkin," he answered, putting it on speaker so that he could continue working.

"Dad, don't freak out."

Castle stopped typing immediately. "Honey, you might think that sentence sounds reassuring because you're not yet a parent but let me just tell you right now, don't _ever_ start a phone call with those words." He held the phone up to his ear then, "What happened?"

James had arrived earlier that afternoon to see Alexis and the both of them had decided to take Zoey out for some ice-cream. Castle had been too busy writing to go with them.

Alexis' rapidfire answer made him regret that decision immediately. "Well, James and I took Zo to the park after ice-cream and I swear, dad, we turned around for a second, a _second_ and the next thing we knew, we heard Zoey crying. Some kid had pushed her off the jungle gym."

Castle took a deep breath in. "Where are you now?"

"…Mt. Sinai."

Castle pushed his chair back from the desk. "So, not just a little scratch then?"

He could hear the guilt lacing her words. "No, she scraped her arms and she has a pretty large gash on her leg. She's fine though, dad – alert and everything. It was the other kid's mom who called an ambulance – I think she thought we would sue her or something – we could've gotten her to the emergency room ourselves."

Castle was already out the door and in his car by this point. "Did the doctor check her out yet?"

"Yeah, that's why I called," Alexis replied, "Zoey needs stitches and the doctor, like, _refuses _to do it without parental consent! I told him I was legally an adult and everything but he just cleaned out the cut and told me he has to get in touch with the _parents_." Alexis let out a noise of frustration, "I tried Kate first but she's not picking up."

"Did you leave a message?"

"Yeah. A voicemail and I called the station, too."

Castle accelerated through a yellow light. "Okay, well just keep trying," he said, "I'll be there soon."

.

A nurse led Castle to the correct curtain area when he was spotted peering into random exam rooms.

"Daddy!" Zoey cried out, arms reaching out for him from her propped up position on the bed. Alexis, who was sitting with her, held her in place so that she wouldn't disrupt the sterile dressing temporarily covering her right leg.

"Dad," Alexis started, "I'm really sorry. It's my fault that Zoey got hurt."

James, who was sitting in a plastic hospital chair in the corner, also sounded a little guilty when he said, "Hello, Mr. Castle. I just want you to know that I am so, so sorry as well."

Castle shook his head. "It was an accident, guys, I know that."

"Yeah, but Zoey could've—"

Castle stopped Alexis from catastrophizing. "—Don't blame yourself, pumpkin. The important thing is that Zoey's okay." Standing beside the bed, Castle could see the scratches on her arms and left knee. He bent down to give Zoey a reassuring kiss on the cheek. "You're okay, aren't you, Zo?"

Castle could tell that Zoey had been crying a lot – her grey eyes were puffy and rimmed red and her nose was still running.

"I gotta big boo-boo, daddy," Zoey said, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

"I know baby girl," he said, hugging her as carefully as he could, "But I heard you've been very, very brave."

"Yes, she has," came a foreign voice. The curtain was pulled back from the outside to reveal a doctor who looked like he was fresh out of medical school.

"Hello," said Castle, approaching him immediately, "I'm Richard Castle."

"Dr. Cornish," he replied and then proceeded to fill Castle in on Zoey's injuries. "None of them life threatening, I can assure you. Mostly just minor cuts and bruises," he finished.

"Except for the one on her leg that needs stitches," Castle said.

"Yes," replied Dr. Cornish, "We were unable to start the procedure until we got consent. Although your daughter Alexis has been very persistent."

"Annoying," Alexis chimed in, "He means to say I've been very annoying." She looked at her dad, "I tried to fill out as much of the forms as I could."

The doctor had two clipboards with him and upon Alexis' comment, he handed Castle one of them. "You just have to fill in the rest and sign the bottom. I'll be back in a moment with the suture kit."

Castle flipped rapidly through the pages and paused at the very bottom of the last one. Underneath the line, the words clearly stated "parent's/legal guardian's signature". "Um…" he started.

Dr. Cornish turned back around and Castle cleared his throat, "What does 'legal guardian' _technically_ mean?"

The doctor glanced at the chart in his hand and then at Castle. "Are you not Zoey's father?"

"Zo," Alexis interjected, giving her dad a look as if she couldn't believe he had chosen this, of all times, to forego embellishing the truth, "Isn't he your daddy?"

Zoey nodded, "Yes, _my _daddy," she said possessively, eyes shifting back and forth between the adults, not understanding what was causing all of this fuss.

Castle looked at Dr. Cornish. "It's… complicated," he said. And then, at the weary look that passed across the doctor's features, Castle sighed and realised this would be the passport office situation all over again. "Can we speak privately for a sec?" he asked and then, to Alexis, he said, "Keep calling Kate, okay?"

Out of the range of tiny ears, Castle tried his best to give the quickest explanation he could. "Zoey's mom is Kate Beckett – I'm Kate's boyfriend. Madison Queller, Zoey's biological mom, passed away when Zoey was barely a year old and her wish had been for Kate to have full guardianship of Zoey should anything happen to her – they had been friends for a long time. I was there, with Kate, taking care of Zoey from the very beginning. I know that technically I'm not her father but Zoey is as much my daughter as Kate's – I love her just the same and I can _guarantee_ that when it comes to Zoey, Kate would agree with any decision I make on her behalf. Especially in this situation."

Dr. Cornish nodded. "I believe you, Mr. Castle, I really do," he said.

"But…"

"But, this is a legal issue. And _legally_, you are not Zoey's parent or guardian. You simply have no right to make her medical decisions."

"There has to be some sort of exception," Castle said, "I mean, I came here months ago when Zoey was sick and she got treatment then."

Dr. Cornish nodded, "If the circumstances had been serious enough – a threat to life, for example – then the consent of the parent would have been presumed. Immediate treatment would have been provided so that the child didn't suffer avoidable injury. I mean, unless the ER at the time did something they weren't supposed to do… in which case, I don't really want to know…"

Castle sighed and shook his head, "No, Zoey had had trouble breathing at the time."

The doctor looked at him apologetically, "I'm sorry, Mr. Castle. I know this must seem unnecessarily complicated to you but Zoey _is_ fine for the moment. Even permission over the phone would be okay if Zoey's mother can't come in."

"Yeah, we've been trying to get in touch but Kate's a cop and there's no telling _when_ she gets called away," Castle replied.

"Wait! Wait!" Alexis called, suddenly yanking the curtain back, "I just tried the precinct and I told the officer it was an emergency this time. They're going to pull Kate from the interrogation she's doing."

A second later, Kate's "_Hello?" _echoed out.

"Here." Alexis handed her cellphone to the doctor.

Castle and Alexis were left picking up as much as they could from the doctor's side of the conversation.

"This is Dr. Cornish, who am I speaking to?... Hello, Detective Beckett, I'm calling from Mt. Sinai Hospital… It's regarding your daughter Zoey Queller. She was brought into the ER about an hour ago… No, no, nothing serious but she does require some stitches for her leg…"

Kate must've said something along the lines of, "_Well, do it, then! Why the hell are you wasting time calling me?"_ because Dr. Cornish winced and responded, "Before treating a minor, we need to get permission from a parent or guardian… yes, Mr. Castle is here… mhmm, well he also isn't a legal guardian… there's no note in Zoey's file stating—right, but unless there's some sort of notorized—Detective Beckett, I'm… look, why don't I just get started on the stitches for your daughter's leg?... uh huh… my pleasure."

When Dr. Cornish hung up the call with a grimace on his face, Castle couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit redeemed. The self-satisfaction he had experienced from having Kate tear the doctor a new one crept into Castle's voice. "De_lightf_ul, isn't she?"

.

They were both in bed after spending an extra long time tucking Zoey in for the night – reading her two books each before singing _Rainbow Connection_, her favourite lullaby. Kate had photos of the latest crime scene strewn all over the covers. It said something about the both of them that they could look at blood and gore right before going to sleep.

Kate was so busy concentrating that it took her awhile to notice that Castle was being awfully quiet. She looked over at him. He had the strangest look on his face – similar to the one he got when he finally figured out a solution to a dangling plot point. "Okay, what's wrong?" she asked.

No answer.

"Alright, fine," she said, turning back to her pictures with a roll of her eyes, "But don't ask me ten minutes later to help you with the logistics of getting Nikki Heat out of a dungeon or something."

It was a testament to how well she knew his thinking patterns.

"Kate?" he said, only minutes later.

"Hey, I offered and yo—"

"I want to adopt Zoey."

She shifted her body to face him. "What?"

"I want it to be official. Legal. Zoey is our daughter so she should be _our_ daughter." Kate was still blinking at him. "Look," he continued, "If Zoey needs a new passport, I want the right to apply for it as one of her parents. If she, god forbid, has to go to the hospital again, I _want_ to to be allowed to make medical decisions. I'm tired of being just 'the boyfriend'," he paused, "We both know I'm more than that. Zoey's had me in her life maybe a week less that she's been in yours and—"

"—Yes."

Now it was his turn to blink rapidly at her. "What?"

"Yes. You should adopt Zoey."

"Really? 'Cause I mean, I had this whole speech planned out in my head."

Kate shrugged, "You're right—" she raised a finger before he could make a jibe about that, "—you should be able to make decisions about Zoey's welfare. You take care of her as much as I do and you love her as much as I do." After a beat, she added softly, "There's nothing more I could ask for."

He smiled. "Of course, we still have to ask Zoey."

"And Alexis."

"She'll be ecstatic, I'm sure."

"Castle," she said, "I just—I need you to know that the adoption… it has nothing to do with legalising childcare responsibilities or—well, definitely _not_ monetary contributions…"

"Kate," he interrupted, "Of course n—"

She shook her head and he stopped talking. "—It's not because you _should_ be her father—" she continued, meeting his eyes so he could see the emotion in them, "—It's that I _want _you to be her _dad_."

.

Castle talked to Alexis first, by himself. It was the next morning and Alexis was eating breakfast at the counter. He thought direct would be the best approach.

"I'm thinking of officially adopting Zoey."

Alexis' response was a quick and unaffected, "Okay." She seemed to be distracted with the peeling of her fruit.

"Kate and I discussed it last night," he pressed, "She thinks it's a good idea, too."

"Well, that's good."

"And Kate actually wants this – having me be Zoey's father."

"I think that's great, dad."

"The thing is, we won't go through with it if you or Zoey don't agree – that's why I'm telling you now. I want to make sure this is okay with you."

"Dad, you and Kate really shouldn't be making such a huge deal out of this," she said, popping a section of clementine into her mouth.

"But it is a huge deal."

"Not really," she jumped off the stool to wash her hands at the sink,"It's just going to be a piece of paper telling us what we already know."

.

His and Kate's conversation with Zoey that night only served to confirm Alexis' words.

"Zo," Castle started, "How would you like it if I became your daddy for _real_?"

Zoey was playing with her blocks on the floor of her room and he and Kate were sitting cross-legged beside her. She didn't even look up to answer. "But, you a_re_ my daddy."

"Yes," said Kate, "But you know how I tell people that I'm your mommy?"

"Yeah," Zoey replied, still concentrating on the tower she was building.

"So, after we go to a big building and meet with a judge," Castle began, "I can tell everybody that I'm your daddy, too."

Zoey furrowed her eyebrows and looked up, "But…you're my daddy _now_."

"Well, yes… to you and Lexi and your mommy, I am…"

Zoey nodded. "So, you're my mommy and daddy," she concluded matter-of-factly.

Castle glanced at Kate and shrugged. There really was no arguing with that.

.

"Will you be changing her last name to include Mr. Castle's?"

Kate and Castle had needed somebody to help them navigate through all of the legal stuff and Liam Barrett was a lawyer who specialised in cases like theirs. Everything had been pretty simple up until that point but at Liam's question, they found themselves pausing.

"Zoey's last name doesn't even include _mine_," Kate finally answered.

Liam nodded, "So, you'd like to keep her name as is? Zoey Queller?"

"I don't—" Kate turned to Castle, "The adoption papers included a form with the option to change Zoey's name but it never even crossed my mind to do it."

"Well, everything happened so fast for you," Castle answered, "And you didn't exactly feel…" he was going to say, _'like her mother'_ but it seemed strange to even think those words now.

Kate sighed, "Isn't it too late now? I mean, Zoey's old enough to know her own name. I don't want her to have an identity crisis or something."

Castle voiced his immediate thought aloud. "_Does _she know her own name?" At Kate's '_are you kidding me?'_ look, he added, "I know she knows that her name is _Zoey_ but how often has anybody called her by her _full_ name? And it's not like anybody's been teaching her how to spell it. I think Alexis taught her how to write '_Zo_' but that's about it."

"I guess… changing it would make things easier?" Kate was clearly wracked with indecision.

"It's not just about the legal side, Ms. Beckett," said Liam, "I deal with a lot of adoption cases and it has more to do with creating a family."

"But, it still feels wrong," Kate said, "Like I'm getting rid of Maddie somehow. I _want _Zoey to know who Madison is – I mean, someday, when she's old enough to understand… I just keep thinking how upset Zoey might be later on if she found out that we just completely erased that part of her identity."

"On the other hand," Castle began, "She could be upset at the fact that she doesn't share the same names as her parents. She might think of herself as an outsider in her own family. After all, just because we adopted Zoey doesn't mean she's any less of our child."

Liam nodded, "People who aren't personally touched by adoption usually don't understand it and often ask adoptees what happened to their 'real' parents – as if implying that families formed by adoption are somehow less real. But, in fact, you and Mr. Castle are as much of Zoey's parents as Ms. Queller was. I think the important thing to teach Zoey is that families are built in many different ways and come in many different forms." He smiled at them, "It's clear to me how much you both love and care for Zoey. I wouldn't worry about Zoey growing up and feeling resentful over the fact that her last name was changed to reflect her inclusion into your family."

.

The adoption was finalised on Zoey's third birthday. The cake had to be extra large in order to accommodate the words that Castle had so proudly dictated to the bakery: _Happy Birthday Zoey Madison Beckett-Castle_!

* * *

_A/N: I have members of my extended family who came to us through adoption and some of the points I brought up at the end (like people asking about whether or not my cousin is my aunt's "real" kid) are actually pertinent. Even though this is a story with a completely made-up situation, I just wanted you guys to know that I didn't just change Zoey's last name for the cuteness or convenience of story - I truly believe that Kate is just as much as Zoey's mom as Madison was (and will remain in memory) and that Zoey will always understand Castle to be her dad even though they might not be biologically related... who says you can only have one 'real' mom and one 'real' dad? What does 'real' mean anyway?_

_Okay, then! Writer's personal thoughts on the subject matter are now over! I have no idea if I even made any sense so feel free to ignore or come up with your own conclusions but either way..._

...please do let me know what you thought of this installment! :)


	30. TAKE

**Chapter 30**

.

"Hey," Kate said, "I thought your mom was gonna be here, too."

"Are you kidding?" answered Natasha, Lanie's older sister, "Lanie could try on all of the wedding dresses in the store and our mother would still insist there's a better one out there."

Natasha held the door open so that Lanie and Kate could enter the bridal salon, all three of them instantly glad to be out of the stifling August heat.

"She's still trying to guilt me into wearing my grandmother's old wedding dress," said Lanie, "My _grandmother's_."

"All right," Kate laughed, "Maybe it is better that you only have two opinions."

At that moment, a consultant walked over to greet them. "Hello ladies," she said, giving all three of them a quick blink-and-you'll-miss-it once-over before directing her wide smile at Lanie, "My name is Rachel. Are you looking for a wedding dress today?"

"Yes," Lanie replied, "I'm getting married in February – Valentine's Day—"

"—Oh! How sweet," said Rachel.

"—well, it's probably a little clichéd," Lanie said and then grinned devilishly, "But, at least this way, my fiancé has no excuse for forgetting our anniversary."

Rachel chuckled and then led them further into the store where there were couches and tables covered with magazines. "May I get you some beverages? Champagne, perhaps?"

"Could I just get some water?" Kate asked.

Rachel nodded, "Cucumber water okay?"

"Uh, sure."

"I'll take some of that champagne," said Lanie.

"Now are we talking about slices of cucumber? Or just cucumber-flavoured?" Natasha asked, face as serious as she could manage it. Kate had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

"Fresh cucumber slices, of course," Rachel answered, completely oblivious.

Lanie elbowed her sister and then said to Rachel, "She'll take a glass of champagne, too."

.

Kate had happily agreed to help Lanie find the wedding gown of her dreams but four hours, many glasses of champagne, and countless dresses later, Kate's patience was wearing thin.

"All of these white dresses are starting to look the same," Natasha said.

"I know," Lanie replied, starting to get a little frustrated herself. "At least be relieved that I've narrowed it down to four."

"Oh, we are," said Kate, sitting cross-legged on the couch, stilettos having been removed a long time ago.

"Well, you look fabulous in all of them," said Rachel.

"I know!" Lanie whined, "That's the problem!"

"Wow, vain, are we?" said Natasha.

"Oh, shut it, Nat," said Lanie, "Or I'm gonna make sure your maid-of-honour dress is unflattering as hell."

Natasha rolled her eyes, knowing her mouthy little sister didn't mean it.

"All right," said Lanie, stepping carefully off the little podium in a dress that had a massive train, "I've made a decision."

"Oh, thank god," said Natasha

"_No_," Lanie glared at sister, "I've decided _how_ I'm going to decide."

"Well, that's a step in the right direction, at least," Kate said.

"You two are going to model them for me," Lanie said.

"Say what?" said Kate.

"Yeah, what the hell will that do?" asked Natasha.

Even Rachel looked dubious. "Your sister and your friend have dissimilar body shapes from yours – the dresses won't look the same on them as they do on you."

Lanie nodded, "Well, it won't fit the same but I already know they look good _on _me. I just want to be able to look at them from an outside perspective. You know, see how some of the details look up close when they're being worn."

"You're crazy," said Natasha, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm the one who has to decide," said Lanie. She turned to Rachel, "Now, can you make that happen?"

Lanie sat relaxed and content on the couch, sipping champagne, while Natasha and Kate got a sense of how it felt like to have been Lanie for the past four hours. If they didn't know better, they'd have thought she was doing this on purpose.

"Okay," said Lanie, inspecting the back of the dress her sister was wearing, "I think this one's out. I don't like how the lace at the back looks from far away. But," she turned to Kate, "I still like this one. Even though, I'm sorry to say, you clearly can't fill out the sweetheart neckline like I can."

Kate slapped her friend playfully on the shoulder. "Rub it in, why don't you?"

Lanie grinned and then clapped her hands, "I think we have our final two contenders." She had already vetoed another dress from the first pair that had been tried. "Nat, do you think you can put on Kate's? And Kate, can you put the princess gown you had on before?"

Kate gave her friend a wry smile, "Lanie, you owe us—"

"—_big_ time," Natasha finished.

While the two of them disappeared back into the changerooms, another sales associate walked excitedly up to Rachel. Lanie felt no qualms about eavesdropping.

"Sonia," said Rachel, "What's up?"

"You won't believe who just walked into the store!" Sonia didn't even pause to let her friend respond, "_Richard Castle_!"

Lanie almost choked on her drink and then narrowed her eyes. Javier _had _to have sent him to get the scoop on things. Him, Ryan, and Castle were worse than children.

Meanwhile, Rachel had been chiding her friend, "I guess it's your dream come true," she said, "Isn't he on your list of five—"

Sonia poked her friend in the arm, "He has a girlfriend! Oh! I wonder if that's why he's here!"

Rachel looked over her friend's shoulder, "Don't look now," she said with a smirk, "He's heading this way."

Lanie had already stood up, hands on her hips, when Castle entered with a huge grin. "And how's my favourite M.E. doing?" he said and then held up a bag of doughnuts, "I brought provisions. Though, I have to admit, I thought you'd be trying on dresses right now."

Lanie glared at him. "Oh, don't use _food_ as an excuse. Tell me right now, writer boy, did Javier put you up to this? Spying on me when I _explicitly_ told him he wouldn't be catching a glimpse of my dress until the wedding day?"

"Oh," said Castle innocently, "Is that what you told him? Funny, Ryan and I didn't hear anything about th—"

Lanie furrowed her eyebrows when Castle suddenly stopped talking. "Castle, wh—" And then she noticed that he was looking behind her.

"Castle, what the hell are you doing here?" Kate said in exasperation, although Lanie could see how hard she was trying to stop herself from blushing at the way Castle was staring at her. "Don't tell me you didn't end up taking Zoey to the doctor's office."

"No, I did," Castle replied softly. Lanie watched as Kate's eyebrows furrowed exactly the way hers had when Castle had decided not to finish his sentence earlier. His thoughts seemed to be elsewhere though. "You're beautiful," he breathed out.

"Oh my god," Rachel interrupted, "You're _the_ Kate? The police detective Nikki Heat is based on? Richard Castle's muse?"

"I can't believe you didn't recognize her," Sonia whispered, not so quietly, in her friend's ear.

"Well, I'm not a stalker like you," Rachel hissed back.

"She's also my girlfriend," Castle replied, having regained his senses.

"Right, of course," Rachel said awkwardly.

"Um, _hello_?" Lanie said, "Bride-to-be here, still trying to decide on a dress."

Natasha, who had been observing off to the side, chimed in, "But this is more entertainment than we've gotten in the past two hours."

"C'mon, Nat," said Kate, stepping up onto the low podium again, "The sooner she decides, the sooner we can go get some food."

"I have doughnuts!" Castle said.

"Uh, Mr. Castle…" Rachel began.

"It's okay, Castle," Kate said, glancing at him with a small smile, "We're almost done."

"Sit down," Lanie ordered Castle, "And don't touch anything."

Castle took that as an invitation to fix his attention on Kate and the floor-length, silk taffeta gown she was wearing. It was a relatively simple dress: a v-neck that elongated and accentuated her neckline, some simple beading at the bottom, with the only real embellishment being the two-inch line of ruching at the natural waist. Somebody had pinned her hair up and the messiness only served to make the escaped curls brushing her shoulders that much more alluring.

Kate's eyes flicked to meet his before concentrating once more on her friend, who was finally pointing to the dress Natasha had on. "I think I'm going to go with this one," she said. Then, giving Kate a sly look, couldn't resist adding, "But, with the way writer boy is looking at you, I'd say you should seriously consider getting that one."

.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Alexis looked over her shoulder from her spot on the couch, "Did Lanie have that much trouble finding a dress?"

"No, she found one," Kate replied, "Thank _god_."

Castle locked the front door behind him, "We just decided to go out for dinner with her and her sister afterwards."

Alexis nodded, turning back to her task of French-braiding Zoey's hair. "I'm just getting Zo ready for bed."

"Hi mommy," Zoey said around the thumb in her mouth.

Kate flopped down on the couch beside her daughter. "Hey baby girl," she said, pulling Zoey into her lap after Alexis had secured the final elastic.

Castle sat down beside them and used Zoey's stuffed animal to nuzzle her cheek, making her giggle. Then, directing his attention to Alexis, he asked, "What have you guys been up to tonight?"

Alexis shrugged, "Nothing. Reading, computer, the usual." She pulled her legs up onto the couch, "_I _want to know what Lanie's dress looks like."

"Let's just say it's very Lanie," Kate replied.

Alexis laughed, "I can't believe she let you stay, dad."

"Oh, your dad is sworn to secrecy." Kate nudged Castle, "By punishment of a swift kick to his—"

"—hey, hey!" Castle interrupted, "I think everybody understands what the consequences will be." Then, Castle's eyes twinkled, "Besides, if I hadn't gone to check out the situation, then I wouldn't have gotten to see Kate in a wedding dress."

"You tried one on, too?" Alexis squealed. "What did it look like?"

Kate shook her head at Castle. "No," she said to Alexis, "I didn't try one on for _me_. Lanie had narrowed her choices down to two so she had me and her sister try them on for her."

"Still…" Castle started, looking into Kate's eyes, "She looked amazing."

"Aw, I wish I could have seen it," said Alexis, woefully.

"Uh oh, I think somebody's falling asleep," said Castle, gesturing down at Zoey.

"Not me," Zoey said, unconvincingly since she could barely keep her eyes open as it was.

Kate gently pried the stuffed dog out of Zoey's loose grip so that it wouldn't fall and then stood up, adjusting the little girl in her arms as she did so.

"You've got her?" Castle said.

Kate nodded. "Say goodnight to daddy and Lexi, Zo," she said softly.

"Goodnight," Zoey murmured.

Now that he had gotten Kate out of the room, Castle took out his iPhone and gave Alexis a devious grin. "I took pictures."

* * *

_A/N: Okay dudes and dudettes, in (let's say) a few chapters, there is a point where I could logically conclude the story and (I hope) it wouldn't feel like I've cheated you all… HOWEVER, I'm still having a lot of fun with this so if y'all don't mind (and seeing as how I'm currently stuck on the logistics of that next story I was planning to write and am not motivated enough to start Part II of _Tryst _yet), I'm actually thinking of continuing with this fluff monster. So, uhh, _**who's with me**?_ (Is this story getting way too long? Are you bored already? Let me know 'cause I aim to please! I aim to please…) –Violet._


	31. then there suddenly appeared before me

**Chapter 31**

.

"It's make-your-own-pizza night!"

Kate could only make out a flash of red hair as Alexis ran past her and up the stairs. She had just gotten home from work and had barely stepped through the front door. "What is she talking about?" Kate asked as Castle walked out of his office.

"She's going upstairs to get some suitable tunes," he answered, "She and Zo decided they want to make their own mini-pizzas tonight."

Kate smiled, "Dinner followed by a movie, right?"

"Well, it _is_ Friday." Castle pulled Kate towards him with a tug of her wrist, "Alexis is heading back to school next week. We have to honour Castle-household traditions while we still can."

She leaned in to kiss him gently, like they always did when she got home. Instead of the usual quick greeting, though, she felt him secure his arms around her waist and tighten his grip.

Her eyebrows rose slightly before she smiled against his lips, opening her mouth readily when she felt his tongue brush against them.

"Mm," she said, after a minute of heated kissing, "What was that for?"

He shrugged, releasing his hold on her with a smile, "Just because."

She shook her head and gave him another kiss. "You make me really happy, Rick Castle," she said, then added with her own smile, "Just thought I should tell you."

Zoey ran up to them then, hugging Kate's leg and giving her a very enthusiastic, "Hi! Hi!"

"Hi there, Zo," Kate said with a chuckle. She bent down to pick Zoey up, tickling her a little and making her giggle. "What did you, daddy, and Lexi do today?"

It didn't take Zoey long to reply with the most exciting thing they had done. "We eat playdough!"

"You _ate_ it?" Kate asked, turning to Castle.

"It was _edible_ playdough," Castle clarified, "Alexis found a recipe online. Tasted like Kool-Aid."

"It was yummy, mommy."

Castle grinned, "We saved you some."

Kate rolled her eyes, "How thoughtful."

"Okay!" said Alexis, stampeding back down the stairs, "I've got my iPod and a pizza-making playlist."

"Are we making the dough, too?" Kate asked.

"We made it this afternoon," Castle answered, "It needed time to rise."

"Plus, dad needed time to clean up the kitchen afterwards," Alexis added with a smirk.

"Which reminds me – I should probably change," said Kate and then looking at Zoey's nice, clean clothes added, "And so should Zo."

"She has a smock somewhere in her closet," Castle said, "You two go; Alexis and I will set up the kitchen."

When Kate and Zoey joined them a few minutes later, the kitchen counter was crowded with ingredients and the music was blasting. Alexis was slicing mushrooms while Castle was grating the cheese.

"Can you cut up the green peppers, Kate?" Alexis asked.

"Sure," she answered, plucking two from the counter.

"I want to help!" Zoey declared, jumping up and down beside Kate.

The three of them stared at all of the knives and sharp objects. "Oh!" said Castle, always the one with the ideas, "I have a special job for you, Zo. Why don't you start putting sauce on the pizzas?"

"Really?" said Kate, watching Castle fill a plastic bowl with red marinara sauce. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Even Alexis looked sceptical, "You're totally cleaning up after her," she said.

Castle flipped open the little table embedded into the kitchen island and set the bowl, a spoon, and the dough that he had rolled out onto it. "Relax," he said, completely unfazed, "What's the worst that could happen?"

He found out pretty quickly.

By the time Alexis thought to put plastic garbage bags around Zoey's 'cooking' area, the little girl had already spilled a lot of sauce on the floor.

"Well, she's already dirty, right?" said Castle, watching as Zoey clumsily spooned a gob of sauce onto the edge of the pizza. "At least it's not the edge of the table anymore."

Kate gestured to the sticky strands in Zoey's hair, "That is all for you," she said. "Alexis and I will be eating our dinner guilt-free while you get that all out."

"Yup," Alexis echoed, smiling at her dad. She sprinkled a handful of cheese onto her pizza. "So, Kate, what do you want to do on Sunday?"

They always tried to have some sort of family outing on Kate's day off.

Kate shook her head, "Lanie and Esposito have me hostage on Sunday. _Again_."

"Oh?" Alexis said, always interested in how the wedding preparations were going, "What is it this time?"

Kate's eyes flicked to Castle, who was whistling as he artfully arranged his toppings to ressemble a face. "It's kind of a secret thing that they're doing," Kate said.

True to form, Castle stopped what he was doing immediately and perked up. "Tell me or I'll guess."

"Is that a threat?" Kate asked.

"You know it is."

She rolled her eyes. "You'll find out anyway," she said, "Ryan and Esposito are nerding out over it."

"Oh, this is gonna be _good_, isn't it?"

"Well, not for me," Kate replied, "Lanie and Esposito want to do one of those dance entrances down the aisle and on Sunday, they're making the entirety of their wedding party learn the choreography."

"Oh my god, I am _so_ there," Castle said, gleefully clapping his hands.

"Last I heard, you weren't a bridesmaid, Castle," Kate retorted.

Castle didn't seem to hear her. "For the first time, I actually wish I was a groomsman…"

"Are you telling me you would actually _want_ to dance down the aisle to Beyoncé's _Crazy in Love_?"

"Omigod, omigod. Is that the song they're using?" Castle practically squealed, "You _have_ to let me come and watch."

"You forget you're talking to my dad," Alexis said to Kate, "He doesn't mind making a fool of himself in front of a hundred people."

"Well, I was betting on the fact that he's one of those guys who feel super awkward on the dance floor."

Castle grinned, "Kate, my mother is in _theatre_."

"Uh, hey dad?" Alexis said, "I think Zoey's done with her pizza. She's just eating the ingredients now."

Kate and Castle both turned to look at Zoey. She was seated on floor, munching on sliced pineapples.

Zoey looked up at them, face the picture of innocence, "I'm finished," she said.

"Yeah, you really are," said Castle.

.

In the middle of the movie, Castle turned to Kate and poked her in the arm. "So… we didn't actually decide if I could come with you tomorrow," he said.

Without taking her eyes off of the screen, Kate tossed the phone at him, "Take it up with Lanie."

.

"I can't believe you actually said he could come," said Kate to Lanie the next morning.

They were standing in the middle of the dance studio, waiting for everybody else to arrive. Lanie had five bridesmaids and a maid of honour, which meant that aside from his best man (the honour had gone to Ryan), Esposito had to have five groomsmen.

"He could be our backup," Lanie replied, "In case one of Javier's cousins can't make it."

Kate raised her eyebrows, "You sound like you _want_ that to happen."

"Okay," Lanie began in a confessional tone, "Javier's two brothers? They're fine; I like them but his cousins? They're going to _ruin _my wedding."

Kate smirked, "_Your_ wedding? It's _his _wedding, too."

"Uh, hell no!" Lanie exclaimed, sounding very bridezilla.

"Right," Kate said.

"Besides," Lanie added, "The choreographer promised to give us a discount if she could take a picture with your boy."

Kate shrugged, "Well, at least it's for a good cause."

Castle returned with Kate's coffee then, confused about why she and Lanie were laughing so hard.

"Don't worry about it, writer boy," Lanie said. Then, to Kate, "You'd better inhale that coffee, girl, 'cause everybody's here."

The day went better than Kate had thought it would. In fact, with the exception of one awkward dance move that Esposito vetoed – his granny would be in the audience, after all – it was fun. Of course, the choreographer had insisted that the girls wear something ressembling what they would be wearing on the actual wedding day – to mimic the range of movement they would have – so, by early afternoon, Lanie had four bitching bridesmaids on her hand. Kate, of course, was used to wearing inappropriate footwear on a daily basis.

It didn't mean she was any less glad for their dance lesson to be over.

"You guys can stick around if you want," said Lanie to whoever was listening. "Javi and I are taking the next class so that he – _we_ – won't look like fools during our first dance. The studio advertised it as open to everybody."

People immediately started making up excuses. With the exception of Natasha, who just flat out said 'no'.

"Sorry Lanie," Kate said, "Zoey and Alexis wanted us to join them in the park when we were done."

Lanie nodded and then flicked her eyes in Esposito's direction, "I'll tell you how it goes."

Kate was about to tell Castle that she was ready when she spotted him fiddling with the CD player in the corner. "Castle!" she called, making her way over to him, "What are you doing?"

Castle held up a finger. Before Kate could respond in annoyance, Frank Sinatra filled the air and Castle turned around. "May I have this dance?" he asked charmingly, offering his hand.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Castle, I don't—"

"Afraid I'm better than you?" he taunted.

She took the bait.

"Are you sure you can lead?" she shot back, placing her left hand on his upper arm.

He grinned, restarting _The Way You Look Tonight_ before clasping her right hand with his left. "Has anybody told you that dancing is just a vertical expression of a horizontal desire?"

"You stealing other authors' words now?" she teased as they slid smoothly across the dance floor, her red chiffon dress billowing out behind her.

"_Borrowing_," he said.

It was no surprise that they continued to banter between steps even as the communication between their bodies required no words.

She knew to spin out when he released her hand and he didn't miss a step in catching her in his left arms when she curled back to him. Pulling her up from the dip, he replaced his hand on her waist and said with a grin, "You never told me you knew how to dance."

"You never asked," she said.

They made a swift, complete turn. "Well, I'm asking now," he said, "It can't be more embarrassing than the fact that my mother taught me how to ballroom dance in between her Broadway numbers. So, who taught you?"

Kate looked out at their clasped hands. "My mom did."

"Oh."

She smiled at him, not sadly – just a little bittersweet. "I saw her and my dad dancing one night – I think I was, like, ten – and they looked so…"

"—Graceful?"

"No… _enchanting_."

He lifted up his left arm and she pirouetted underneath, spinning out before Castle tugged her back towards him – their bodies much closer now. "She taught you well," he said, his voice low against her ear, "And not just in the field of dance."

Their eyes locked. He was twirling them rapidly, starting a series of turns that extended from one side of the dance floor to the other. The dizzy feeling only rushed over her after the song had ended, when Castle continued to look at her like she was the only person in the entire world worth looking at.

He snapped out of it when a petite woman with a high voice broke through the crowd. "Bravo!" she said, walking up to them, "What lovely form and _passion_."

Castle took a little bow, accompanied by a cheeky smile in Kate's direction.

"This, ladies and gentlemen," the instructor continued, "Is what you are all aspiring to today!"

"Yeah right," Kate heard Esposito mutter. "Those two have some sort of creepy connection."

"Come on," Kate said, tugging Castle's hand. Then, to the instructor, "Sorry for the disturbance."

"Nonesense," she said, "That instinctual, intuitive partnership is a rare sight. It was a pleasure to watch."

Kate smiled politely, "Thanks."

As the two of them passed Esposito and Lanie on their way out, Esposito whispered, not so softly, to Castle, "Hey bro, I think that lady's trying to tell you: if you like it then you should put a ring on it."

Kate turned back around just so she could smack him on the head.

* * *

_A/N: I've been getting a lot of questions about this so I absolutely swear I'm not stringing you guys along with the wedding anvils! My brain writes and stuff unfolds and yeah… so, can I say 'it's coming' and beg for patience and have you all not smash your own anvils onto my head?...Souvenez-vous que je vous aime! :)_


	32. IT'S

**Chapter 32**

.

"Alexis!" Kate said in surprise when she entered the house after work on Friday and found the girl lounging on the couch, "I didn't know you were coming back! Did I get my dates wrong? I thought it was next weekend."

Alexis muted the television, "It was a last-minute thing. One of my friends are throwing a party in the city and invited me."

"Oh?" Kate was hanging her jacket up in the hall closet, "Who?"

"Uh… Evelyn," Alexis said after a brief pause. At Kate's furrowed eyebrows, she added quickly, "You don't know her. She's an old friend from highschool."

Kate nodded, "Well, that's nice that you still keep in touch." She walked into the living room and perched on the arm of the couch. "Where's Zoey and your dad?"

"Dad took Zo with him to buy something."

"Dinner?"

Alexis tilted her head. "Sure."

Kate wondered if Alexis was being intentionally vague for a reason. "Are you okay, Alexis?" Kate didn't miss the way the girl continued to keep her gaze firmly at the television screen.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Alexis answered, with a nod.

Kate didn't say anything for a few more seconds but when Alexis didn't elaborate, she shrugged. If Alexis had a problem, she would talk to Kate eventually. She only hoped it wasn't something too serious. Kate slid down onto the couch, lifting Alexis' legs before replacing them on her lap. "So," she said, "What're we watching?"

.

"Hey! It's Little Castle and Baby Castle!"

Kate looked over her shoulder from her position at the murder board when she heard Ryan's voice. Zoey, who was skipping her way across the precinct, reached her first. Kate picked her up and turned her around so that she wouldn't be able to see the graphic pictures tacked up on the board. "Hey, you two," Kate said, giving Alexis a side hug, "This is a surprise."

"Well, we were on our way to the park and dad wanted me to give you a message," Alexis held out a sealed envelope. Then, by way of explanation as to why he couldn't give it to her himself, said, "He's in meetings with his publisher all day."

Kate took the envelope from Alexis, amused – Castle frequently left notes for her at home (taped on the front door so she would see it before she left for the morning) and at the precinct (when he happened to drop by and she wasn't around) but this was the first time he had a third party deliver a message for him. "Your dad is a strange one," Kate said, shaking her head.

Kate was just about to open it when Lanie showed up. "Hey Alexis," she greeted and then leaning forward to ruffle Zoey's hair, said, "Hello Zo, Zo."

"What's up, Lanie?" Kate asked.

"Tox screen results," Lanie replied, holding out a large manila envelope.

"You know I was heading down to see you, right?"

Lanie shrugged. "I needed the exercise."

"Right," Kate said, knowingly glancing in Esposito's direction, "And it has nothing to do with wanting to see your fiancé?"

There was no denial on Lanie's end.

"Oh, Kate?" Alexis interrupted, "I have to use the bathroom."

"Sure thing," Kate replied, "You remember where it is?"

Alexis nodded and rushed away.

"Wow, she must've really had to go," Kate commented.

Lanie then noticed the other envelope in Kate's hands, "What's that?"

"Oh," Kate turned it over and ran her finger along the seal to open it, "Castle had Alexis deliver it—" she pulled out the single sheet of paper, "—Knowing Castle, it probably contains something suggestive or dirty."

"Most likely both," Lanie said. When Kate didn't answer and her expression turned into one of confusion, Lanie got curious. "Or not? What does it say?"

Kate handed Lanie the note. There were only two short sentences on it: _Zoey has something for you. If she forgets, it's around her neck._

Both Kate and Lanie peered at Zoey.

"Zo," Kate started.

Zoey smiled widely, eyes wide and face oblivious. "Hi, mommy."

"Did daddy tell you to give me something?"

Zoey tilted her head, pondering and then bobbed her head once, "Yes."

Kate waited patiently for a few seconds. "Do you think you could show me, Zo?" she finally prompted.

Zoey was wearing a light blue autumn jacket and a cute purple and pink striped infinity scarf. At Kate's question, she attempted to lift the scarf over her head, failing until Lanie helped her. "Necklace," Zoey answered, fingers reaching for the silver chain around her neck.

Castle had gotten Zoey and Alexis matching lockets a couple of months ago. "Mhm," Kate said, "What about your necklace?"

Lanie gasped when Zoey managed to get the chain out of her jacket. She pulled at Kate's sweater.

"Yeah, Lanie," Kate said, eyes wide herself, "I see it too."

Hanging around Zoey's neck, right beside the tiny heart, was a platinum princess-cut diamond engagement ring.

Lanie lifted the ring to look at it. "That has to be at least three carats," she said.

"It's five." At Lanie's look, Kate explained, "Remember when I told you about our trip to the jewelry store in Paris?"

Lanie nodded.

"The store associate kept making me try on all of these rings and—"

"—this was the one you liked?" Lanie asked.

"Well, I didn't _tell_ him that."

"No, I did." Kate whirled around at Alexis' voice.

"I should've known you were in on this," Kate said, shaking her head at Alexis, "Is that why you were acting so elusive yesterday?"

"Elusive? I was going for nonchalant," Alexis replied before unzipping her purse in order to go through it. "Oh, and—" she said, looking up, "Dad told me to remind you that today is October 18th."

"What's so special about the 18th?" Lanie asked as Alexis finally managed to pull out a second envelope and a small square box.

Kate furrowed her eyebrows, clearly just as clueless as her friend. She flicked her eyes to the ceiling, trying to remember exactly what had happened last year around this time and then… "It was when he first told me that we were forever..."

"Wow, my dad really is a sap," Alexis commented. She handed Kate the two items in her hand.

Castle's distinct handwriting was scrawled across the envelope: _'Read me first,'_ it read.

Lanie seemed to be more excited than Kate (though, Kate imagined, Lanie's heart probably wasn't beating as fast as hers was at the moment). "Open it, girl!" she exclaimed.

"Alright, alright," Kate said. The handwriting on the inside, however, wasn't the same. Kate recognized it immediately as her dad's:

_Katie,_

_I gave you my watch to remind you of the life that you saved and your mom's ring to wear for the life that you lost but I think it may be time for something new. So, for the wonderful life that you have ahead of you spent with the person that you love: your mother and I give you our blessing. – Dad _

Kate blinked back tears as she opened the red box. Inside was her mother's wedding ring along with the chain that it came on. Sliding her own engagement ring onto it, Kate felt the weight of both the past and the future as she put on the necklace. She knew that tomorrow, she would let the past go – not forever, just tucked away in a safe place where she wouldn't have to carry it around so much.

Kate heard the trill of her cellphone on the desk, informing her of an incoming text. She didn't need to look at it to know who it was from.

Sure enough, Alexis grinned at her. "You should probably read that."

"Let me guess," Kate said with her own grin, "You weren't _actually_ going to the bathroom."

Alexis shrugged even though the jig was clearly up.

Lanie took the liberty of opening up the message._"'We're out of orange juice'?" _she read aloud, "That's… not what I expected."

The phone trilled again. This time, Kate snatched the phone out of Lanie's hand and read it herself before turning the screen around:

'…_and I have a question to ask you tonight.'_

.

Kate entered the loft as casually as she could manage while having a million dollar engagement ring tucked underneath her shirt. Kicking off her heels, she walked into the kitchen where Castle was making dinner.

"Oh good!" he chirruped, "You bought orange juice!"

"Uh huh," Kate said, placing the carton in the fridge before greeting him with their usual kiss. "I got your message."

"Excellent." His focus was still on the stir-fry.

She leaned against the counter beside the stove, facing him. Popping a cut up piece of celery into her mouth, she said, "I got _all_ of your messages."

"I hoped you had," he replied and then, "Could you pass me the snowpeas? They're in the colander by the sink."

"Mhm." She dumped them, along with the carrot chunks, into the large wok.

"So," he started, "How was your day? Anything special happen?"

"Nope," she deadpanned, "What about you? Do anything out of the ordinary today?"

"Nope," he echoed, "Can't say that I did."

He turned to look at her and she saw the sparkle in his eyes. Kate shook her head, her next sentence full of mirth, "My dad called me this afternoon, said you went by to see him."

Castle nodded, unable to keep the smile off his face now, "Last week," he answered, "I had something to ask him."

"He told me to tell you that he appreciated the gesture—" Kate gave Castle an amused look, "—even though it's a little antiquated and old-fashioned."

"I think some people _like_ 'old-fashioned' even though they might not admit it."

Kate smirked at that, responding, "I think some people like it _more_ that other people are thoughtful enough to give some person's father a heads-up."

Castle grinned. "Other people are just awesome like that."

"Well, those same other people haven't _officially_ asked _anyt_hing yet."

Castle looked at her and winked. "Oh, don't worry, other people know what they have and have not done yet. _Some_ people just have to be patient."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh, she's _plenty_ patient."

.

Kate didn't have to be a genius to figure out that Castle was up to something when he casually suggested they go for a walk after dinner.

"Castle, where exactly are we going?"

The two of them had left Zoey and Alexis at a coffee shop a block back. Well, _Castle_ had insisted they stay there and get warmed up; Kate would have been happy to stop walking all together. "We're almost there," he said now, in response.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Almost _where_?"

He had been holding tightly onto her hand and so when he stopped abruptly, she got yanked backwards. "Here," he said.

Kate looked around her, confused for a moment, before noticing the sign. The store had changed – in fact, it had expanded to include a second floor – but she still recognized it. She turned to Castle. "Is this—"

"—the bookstore where we first met?" Castle finished and then nodded, "I thought we should come back here so that we could _both_ remember the encounter this time."

Kate was about to open her mouth to say something when Castle held up a finger to stop her. "Just wait," he said, "I have one more thing to show you first."

He let go of her hand and walked up to the front door – the only thing that divided what would have been a giant window. Where there should have been displays of the newest releases, however, the blinds had been drawn on both sides.

He knocked three times – an obviously pre-arranged signal for whomever was inside – before stepping back to rejoin her… just in time to see the blinds open and a flood of lights simultaneously illuminating the storefront. The sight made people on the streets stop and stare.

Hanging from floor to ceiling were, what had to be, hundreds of Polaroids. What was more – they were arranged to spell a phrase. One on each window.

"I wasn't in meetings all day," Castle murmured.

Kate's eyes flicked from the windows to Castle and back again. "Those are all—"

"—pictures of us," he finished, "You, me, Zoey, Alexis… there are some from the precinct and of you with your dad…"

"How did you—?"

"I had a lot of undercover agents," he replied with a grin.

Kate's fingers, shaky as they were, managed to pull out the necklace where the two rings still hung. Neither she nor Castle noticed the crowd that they had acquired on the sidewalk behind them. Nor did they realise the traffic jam they had inadvertently caused while cars slowed down so that people could read the two simple phrases in the window:

_I love you._

_Marry me._

"You can keep the ring even if you decide to say 'no'," Castle said, though his nerves made the joke fall slightly flat.

Kate unclasped the chain and Castle's heart jumped at the possibility that she actually _was_ going to say no. But, the glimmer in her eyes when she removed the engagement ring before putting the necklace back on erased any remaining doubt.

"This is it for me," she said, "_You're _it for me." Kate reached for his hand and placed the engagement ring into it. "So, Rick?" she continued with a sly smile, "Why don't you try asking me again, not with words on a screen or Polaroid pictures but _aloud –_ with the voice that spins crazy theories about murders in order to make my job more fun; and soothes our daughter when she's scared; and whispers against my ear when we're making love; and makes me believe that everything will be okay…"

She got cut off when Castle pulled her into a deep kiss. Obviously, he had gotten the point.

He gestured to the cold sidewalk. "Would you prefer I—"

Kate grinned and swept her arm out as if to say, _'by all means'_.

He held her hand as he got down on one knee. And then, in a voice so loud that Kate – and a good portion of the people around them – actually jumped in surprise, he yelled, "Katherine Beckett! WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

Kate laughed and pulled him up, Castle already slipping the ring on her finger even though she hadn't yet replied. Her answer was a foregone conclusion.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a series of light kisses. "_Yes_," she finally whispered against his lips, "Of course I'll marry you."

They pulled away when Alexis and Zoey burst through the rapidly dispersing crowd.

"Mommy said 'yes'!" Castle said as he picked up Zoey.

Zoey's smile and subsequent 'yay!' had more to do with everybody else's reaction than her knowing exactly what had happened.

Alexis, on the other hand, was giving Kate a happy and excited hug. "I knew you would say 'yes'!" she exclaimed, "I mean, isn't this just the happiest you've ever been?"

"I don't know," Kate answered lightly, "I've had a lot of happy moments since I've met your dad." She met Castle's twinkling eyes with her own. "Though I have to admit this one _is_ pretty spectacular."

Alexis beamed, taking Zoey's hand when Castle set her down on the sidewalk again. "We have the best family ever, Zo," she said, "And now it's forever."

Zoey looked up at the three of them. "Forever?"

Castle nodded. "That's right." He clasped Kate's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Forever."

Kate looked at him and smiled. "Come on," she said finally, "Let's go home."

* * *

_A/N: Originally, this was where I was going to end the story but enough of you would like me to continue that, yay, I am! However, for the few that didn't… you could always stop reading here… I think this is a very happy-happy sorta place for Castle & Beckett :)_

_Also, shout-out to anonymous reviewer **Aubrey**: I just wanted to thank you very much for your lovely review(s). I'm glad that you are enjoying the story! I am, however, terribly sorry that I made you cry but I'm also happy (not about the you crying bit ;) but the emotion...) because it means my writing was able to touch you so profoundly. It's the most a writer could ask for. _

_FINALLY, I really, really hope this proposal – well, more like a three-part proposal – lived up to your expectations (and kind of surprised you as to when it would happen)! I feel like I got to a happy medium where it was big ('cause it's Castle, after all) yet intimate (with the pictures and the notes and all the quiet moments leading up to it…) I really didn't want to do something that had already been done before so I'd love to hear what you thought of it all! -Violet._


	33. POURING

*****_A/N: This chapter has an M-rated version (found in the separate story entitled _Separation Anxiety: Album Version_)_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 33**

.

"Oh, you've _got _to be kidding me," Kate muttered when she heard the phone ring, "It's my day off!" She was so used to getting calls at odd hours of the day that she didn't realise it wasn't her cellphone ringing until she picked it up. However, Kate _did _see that it was only 5:45 a.m. "Castle!" she said, giving him a sharp nudge.

He didn't so much wake up as he did wrap his arm around her waist and cuddle closer. "Sleeping," he mumbled.

She tried jabbing him again and when that didn't work, she went for the sure-fire way of getting his attention.

"Kate!" Castle gasped when he felt one of her hands erotically stroking him underneath his boxers.

She removed her hand and turned away from him, saying, "Answer your phone so I can go back to sleep."

"This is _not_ over," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he reached for his cellphone. "Hello?" he answered.

"_Well, it took you long enough!" _The response on the other end so loud that even Kate could hear it.

Castle sighed and fell back onto the bed. "What is it this time, Paula?"

"_I could ask you the same thing, loverboy! Why the hell didn't you inform me that you got engaged last night? I had to find out through about a half dozen phonecalls this morning!"_

"Well, it's not anybody's business except for mine and Kate's," Castle answered.

"_So it's true, then?"_

"Yeah, I proposed."

"_And she said 'yes'?"_

Castle smiled. "Why wouldn't she?"

"I could think of a couple of reasons right now," Kate grumbled, pulling a pillow over her head.

"I'm going to go now Paula," Castle said. A beat while he waited for her to make a comment and then, "Uh huh, I'll call you later to arrange something."

He hung up and Kate lifted the pillow up to ask, "We're in the paper again, aren't we?"

"'Fraid so," he said.

"Well, let's hope people don't start calling for at least another two hours," Kate said, eyes shutting on a tired sigh.

"Oh no," Castle said, "You are _not_ going back to sleep right now."

"It's barely six o'clock…" Kate muttered.

"Hey, you started it," he said, pressing himself against her back where she could very clearly feel his arousal.

"I did that 'cause you wouldn't wake up!" Kate tried to squirm away from him.

He held her against him. "Well, now I'm awake."

"Castle…" she said sternly when his roaming hand inched up her tank top.

He grinned. "I can wake you up, too." He slipped one of his legs between hers and applied slight pressure.

"I don't want to wake up," she replied when he turned her onto her back.

"Are you sure about that?"

"You are just—"

"—Amazing?"

"I was thinking 'relentless'."

Castle shrugged good-naturedly before disappearing underneath the covers, "'Relentless' isn't bad."

Her response was immediately forgotten about two seconds later. And she was incoherent a couple of minutes after _that_.

He tucked her up against him afterwards, putting his lips against her ear so that he could whisper softly, "I don't know how I managed to find somebody so incredible."

She smiled softly, burrowing deeper into the blankets and closer against his body. "Hey Castle?" she murmured, minutes later.

"Yeah"

She tilted her head back. "I just want you to know how much I lo—"

He leaned down to kiss her. "—I know," he replied, squeezing their intertwined hands.

.

They finally woke up again at 10:30, this time for good.

"I wonder why we haven't heard any noise from Zo yet," Kate said, rolling out of bed and pulling on her robe.

In fact, Zoey had been up for a couple of hours. Castle and Kate found her in Alexis' room, the both of them lying on their stomachs in her bed, giggling and watching Sunday morning cartoons still in their pjs.

"Dad, you're staring," Alexis said when she looked over her shoulder to see him and Kate standing in her doorway.

"Just thinking how we have the best daughters ever," Castle replied, entering her room.

Zoey sat up in bed when she heard his voice. "Morning daddy! Morning mommy!"

"Good morning, sweetheart," Castle said, sitting down beside her.

"When did you get up?" Kate asked Alexis.

"Oh, when Grams called me at around seven this morning to see how the proposal went," Alexis replied.

"But… it's three hours _behind_ in California," Kate said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah," Alexis grinned, "Grams had just gotten _home_. She said she waited as long as she could but that she just had to know before she went to bed."

"Your mother parties harder than you do, Castle," Kate said.

"Don't I know it," he replied.

"So," Kate said, perching herself on the edge of Alexis' bed, "What's our plan today?"

"Well, I know it's going to be a little crazy today but I really wanted to try out a new brunch place Elise told me about," Alexis said.

"I'm sure we can give the restaurant a call," said Kate with a grin, "See if we can avoid the craziness of brunch on Sunday in New York City."

"Oh, I didn't mean—" Alexis looked at Castle.

It took a second before Kate nodded in understanding. "You meant—" she held up her left hand. "Unless we bump into somebody we know, I'm sure people won't even notice. What are they going to do? Run up to us on the street?"

"Well, I'm sure they wouldn't do _that_," Castle said cheekily, "They know you're a cop."

Kate was half-right. Nobody accosted them on the street and demanded to see her ring but she did get a lot of stares ranging from pure jealousy to surprise, especially when the four of them walked into a rather posh-looking restaurant for brunch. If Kate had to guess, she would say the surprise came from knowing that out of all the women in the world, Richard Castle had chosen _her_. Luckily, Kate was secure enough in herself to not take it personally.

Still, Castle knew that as much as she had accepted his notoriety due to the nature of his job, she would never be completely comfortable with the attention.

"Excuse me," he said to the hostess after Alexis had requested a table for four, "Do you think you could get us a table in a quiet corner? For privacy, you know?" He gave her his most charming smile.

The hostess nodded. "Of course, Mr. Castle. I'll see what I can do."

"So," Castle said to Kate as the hostess weaved them through the restaurant a few minutes later, "How many texts and calls have you gotten?"

"Well, a lot of texts from the precinct," Kate replied, "Mostly of the 'thanks for informing us first' variety." She rolled her eyes, "Though I suspect Lanie told them all yesterday. Ryan didn't sound all that surprised when he called me and, well, Esposito _lives_ with her."

"I love Lanie," Alexis said with a grin, lifting Zoey up onto a booster seat before sitting down beside her.

"Good morning," a waitress greeted, appearing in front of their table, "My name is Mira and I'll be your server this morning. Can I get you some drinks to start off with?"

"I'll have orange juice," Alexis replied.

"Two coffees, please," Castle said, answering for Kate.

"And she'll just have a glass of milk," Kate said, nodding at Zoey.

"Sure thing," Mira said, "And—" she paused as if unsure whether or not to continue, "—congratulations on the engagement. That ring is gorgeous."

"Not as gorgeous as the woman wearing it," Castle replied immediately, his eyes twinkling as he looked at Kate.

Kate's right hand squeezed his under the table as she said 'thanks' to Mira. "You can be so cheesy sometimes," she said to Castle after their waitress had walked off.

"Is it still cheesy if it's true?" he asked.

"Yes," Kate and Alexis answered simultaneously.

"You guys always gang up on me," he pouted, "At least I've got Zoey on my side, right Zo?"

Zoey, clueless about the actual conversation, shook her head. "I don't like cheese, daddy," she replied, much to Castle's dismay and Kate's amusement.

Kate patted him on the shoulder. "I think you've lost this one, Castle."

.

That night, Castle snuck up on Kate as she was grabbing a glass of water in the kitchen.

"Hey you," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder.

She tilted her head a little when he started peppering her neck with soft kisses. "Hey yourself," she replied. "Are you going to sleep soon?"

"Maybe in another hour. I'm still working on a chapter," he said, "But I just wanted to give you something before you went to bed."

Kate smiled and turned around in his arms. "You already gave me something, remember?" she said, the cold metal of her ring being felt on his cheek as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Yes," Castle said, eyes happy when he drew away, "But you won't be wearing it to work tomorrow."

"Well, it's a little too flashy to wear while chasing criminals," Kate replied. There was a note of levity in Kate's voice but she wasn't actually joking. Aside from the odd bracelet, a watch was the only jewellery – if she could even call it jewellery – that adorned her arms on a consistent basis while she was working. Anything more would be impractical and get in the way of her job – not only if she found herself in a shady area where people would only be so happy to rip a diamond ring off of her finger but also, it could very well prevent her from effectively knocking somebody out if the time called for it (although, more than likely, it would be the ring that would suffer and that wouldn't be too good either).

"I know," Castle said, nodding, "Which is why I got you something you _can_ wear to work."

"Castle, what did you do?" Kate said, shaking her head at his antics.

"I know it's very Cro-Magnon of me," he started, a blush rising to his face, "But I want people to know that you're mine. That you belong with me."

Kate smiled. "I don't need to be wearing a ring for people to know that."

"I know," he said, "I just… I don't ever want to be without you, Kate. And I want a piece of me to be with you… to remind you of that wherever you are." He reached into the pocket of his sweater, dangling the necklace from his index finger when he pulled it out. "You can wear it under your clothes. I don't think it'll show."

Castle placed it in the palm of her hand. It was a small circle pendant on a delicate white gold chain. "It kind of looks like a mini-ring, doesn't it?" he said.

Kate looked down, letting him flip it over to show her the engraving.

Surrounded by the quiet darkness of the loft, a single overhead light in the kitchen created a halo around the two of them, just enough to see by. Etched around the circle was the word _a l w a y s . _She looked up at him and he closed his hand over hers, clasping the pendant tightly in the centre before pulling her into a hug.

Voices got in the way when communication between them needed nothing more than these brief touches and fixed gazes. After all, they already knew the words.

* * *

_A/N: That last line is a modified version of something Andrew Marlowe said that I thought was just so incredibly beautiful: "_Sometimes they do it with their eyes, because they already know the words_"._

_Oh, and see what I did there? With the "I just want you to know how much I…" ;) _

_Oh, and Happy Pi Day!_

_(Alright, alright, now that I've had my fun… I know this chapter couldn't possibly live up to the proposal chapter but please still let me know how I did!)_


	34. RAIN

**Chapter 34**

.

"Castle, can I just remind you for the fifteenth time how absolutely _insane_ this is?" Kate picked up the complicated application form for yet another preschool. "What are we? Sending her off to college? She's three years old!"

"Trust me, Kate," Castle replied, "I know how crazy this is. It wasn't this bad when Alexis was little but now, if we want Zoey to get in..."

"You make it sound like a competition," Kate said.

"Oh, it _is_. You should hear the parents at the playground I take Zoey to."

Kate picked up another brochure from the dozen littering her desk at the precinct. "I don't think I want to." Castle had come in an hour ago, Zoey in tow, freaking out about preschool admissions after his afternoon at that exact playground. Luckily, Kate was case-free at the moment and had some time to spare.

"Oo, don't go to that one," Velàzquez said, pointing to one with a kid's drawing at the front, "My sister sent my nephew there and he _hated _it. Had to switch out." She plopped Zoey back down onto Kate's lap, "Got called on a lead," she said and then pointed to a group of officers in the breakroom, "The boys over there gave your daughter some chocolate."

"Maybe this is why she never wants to leave when you bring her here," said Kate to Castle.

He grinned. "Or maybe she just wants to follow in mommy's footsteps."

"Well, according to some of these information booklets, she won't be able to get anywhere in life unless she gets into the right preschool."

Zoey, seeming to sense how annoyed Kate was, scrambled around in her lap so that she could wrap her tiny arms around her neck. "It's okay, mommy," she said, giving Kate a sloppy kiss.

Kate pulled Zoey into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Zo," she said with a smile.

Castle held up a particularly bright and enticing flyer. "Your mommy and I are just trying to find the very best school for you to go to."

Zoey shook her head. "I don't wanna go. I want to stay home with daddy."

"You still have a year – many, many sleeps – before you start school, Zo," said Kate, "And by then, I think you'll want to go."

"Oh definitely," Castle added, trying to sound as excited as possible, "School's fun! You'll get to play and meet new friends…"

Zoey shrugged noncommittally.

Kate and Castle knew that Zoey's lack of enthusiasm had less to do with the idea of school and more to do with the fact that she would be separated from people she knew. Even though it was a very common source of anxiety for children, it worried them a lot more to know that it could potentially bring up some very bad memories for Zoey from the first time this had happened. They only hoped that, because she had been so young at the time, she wouldn't remember. Still, at least they had a year to get her used to the idea.

.

Kate knew there was a reason she had saved up all of those vacation days because she used up _a lot _of them during the entire preschool admissions process.

First came the tours. She and Castle had decided to tour eight different schools in order to get a feel for them and see which ones were worth it. Kate, for one, did _not_ plan on filling out more than four application forms.

The first school they visited was one-on-one with an administrator. Naturally, they brought Zoey along since, really, the most important thing was that she felt at ease and encouraged by the environment.

The administrator, though, seemed surprised to see a child with them in the waiting room of his office. "You must be the Castles," he greeted, "I'm Micah Young."

"Actually," said Kate, "He's Rick Castle—" she extended her hand, "I'm Kate Beckett."

Micah shook both of their hands. "Well, it's nice to meet you both. And…" he looked down at Zoey.

Kate placed a hand on Zoey's shoulder. "This is our daughter, Zoey. Say 'hello' to Mr. Young, Zo," Kate encouraged.

Zoey gave a shy little wave and a quiet 'hi'.

Micah smiled and led them out into the hallway. "Did you both take off work to come visit with us today?"

"Well, I did," said Kate, "A half-day."

"And what is it you do, Ms. Beckett?"

"I'm a detective with the NYPD."

"Oh," said Micah, eyebrows raised in jest, "I better not mess with you then."

"Yeah, I have to remind myself that every day," said Castle, grinning in Kate's direction.

"And you, Mr. Castle?" Micah said, "What do you do?"

Castle smiled. "I stay at home with Zoey."

Now Micah really _did_ seem surprised. "Is that so?"

Castle nodded. "I'm a writer so I work at home." He glanced down at Zoey who, with one hand in Kate's and the other clasped with Castle's, was happily skipping along between them. "We like it better this way."

.

During their next tour, Kate and Castle realised why Micah Young had seemed surprised. This time, there was a group of about half a dozen parents, _none_ of whom had brought their kids along. The sight of Zoey in her bright red coat and polka-dotted headband created a ripple of bewilderment.

"Oh," said Kate, surprised herself, "I didn't know we couldn't bring Zoey along."

The director of the school, a woman named Josie Plante, shook her head and smiled, "There's nothing that says you can't. I imagine you brought your daughter along in order to show her what her potential new school would look like."

Castle nodded. "Exactly and we would have had to find a babysitter," he added, keeping his tone light.

As the tour started, a husband and wife came up to walk beside them.

"Hi, we're the Brewers," the woman said.

Kate smiled politely. "I'm Kate Beckett—"

"—Rick Castle."

"And this is Zoey," Kate finished.

"We were just wondering if you two were looking for a new nanny," said Mrs. Brewer, obviously having misconstrued Castle's babysitter comment, "Because we know of a great one we could introduce to you."

"Thank you," said Castle, "But that's alright."

Mrs. Brewer chuckled, "You must think we're being nosy."

"Oh, no," Castle replied, "It's just that we don't really need one. I stay home full-time with Zoey."

The husband and wife exchanged looks. "How lovely," Mr. Brewer said.

"So," said Mrs. Brewer after an awkward pause, "Is this your first preschool tour?"

"Our second," Castle answered, mentioning the name of the other.

Mrs. Brewer nodded. "Yes, we made an appointment as well. Very hard to get into, I heard."

Kate shrugged, "I haven't really looked into all of that to be honest."

"We just started researching preschools about a month ago," Castle added.

"Really?" Mrs. Brewer said, surprised, "We've been preparing our little Gabriel for months."

Castle had nothing to say to that while Kate bit her tongue to keep from commenting. Once they were left alone again, she leaned towards Castle. "I'm thinking we do _not _have a typical family situation in this community."

.

By the time winter rolled around, all four of the schools they had finally decided to apply to required an 'interview' with Zoey which, basically, consisted of a playdate with a few other children at the school.

Kate took another four days off of work to see what this absurdity was all about.

"Who decided to schedule these things during naptime?" Castle commented as they stepped off the elevator and saw a kid having a complete meltdown in the middle of the hallway.

Kate shrugged. "The same people who thought it would be necessary to interview children?"

"I think it's more to make sure the kid isn't overly disruptive and plays well with others."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I never played well with others."

Castle grinned. "I'm sure that's not true." He tilted his head, "No, wait, yeah, I could believe that."

Kate gave Castle's shoulder a nudge.

The room they entered was colourful but almost too organised. It coincided with the strict vibe they got as they watched, from a designated corner, two teachers lead the kids through various puzzles and art activities.

"Did you have fun?" Castle asked Zoey afterwards.

Zoey shook her head immediately. "No."

The next two went better and Zoey slowly warmed up and stopped being so shy. By the time they were taking her to the last playdate, she was happy to run around the room with the six other kids. This one also happened to be the school where they had toured with Micah Young. He remembered them, and Zoey, immediately.

"Mr. Castle! Detective Beckett! How nice to see you two again," he said.

A good portion of the other parents in the room glared at them as they talked, probably wondering what it was they had done in order to get a leg up with the school.

"I was happy to see you sent us a First Choice Letter," Micah said.

"Yeah, Zoey really liked it here when we visited," Kate said.

"I think it was the pet fish that won her over," Castle joked.

Micah pointed over to the corner of the room. "It seems she really enjoys our guinea pigs as well."

Kate and Castle turned. Zoey was hard to miss in her sky-blue knit dress, charmingly conversing with the two furry animals. When she looked up and saw them, she gave them a wide grin and an enthusiastic wave.

"Zoey's vocabulary is really developed for a child her age," Micah remarked as she hopped over to join another little girl who was playing dress-up.

"I think it helps that her daddy is a bestselling author," Castle quipped.

"Oh sure, Castle," Kate retorted. "Or it could be that she has an older sister who talks to her and…"

"—and who do you think taught Alexis?" Castle cut in.

"As I recall, Martha told me you didn't start talking until you were well past the age of—"

"Whoa, whoa… you talked to my mother about me in diapers?"

Kate smiled slyly. "She showed me pictures, too."

"Okay, I am _so_ calling your dad when we get home."

"That's not really a threat, Castle. I happen to think that I was a very cute baby."

Castle grinned. "I'm sure you were."

"Are you two always like this?" Micah chimed in. He had been observing them with amusement for the past couple of minutes.

"Yes," they both answered simultaneously.

.

After putting Zoey to bed that evening, Kate was brushing her teeth in their washroom when Castle walked in, all jittery.

"I think Zoey did really well," he said, pacing back and forth behind her.

Kate looked at him in the mirror, taking out her toothbrush to answer, "Of course she did."

"So… you think she'll get in, right?

"Well, it's not really up to us now."

Castle nodded. "Right. You're right."

Kate shook her head, looking down into the sink in order to hide her smile. She found Castle's stage-dad antics to be kind of endearing.

She turned around after she had finished rinsing, reaching out to pull him towards her. "You're worrying too much," she said, smiling when she felt his arms loop low around her waist.

He stepped forward in order to press his body flush against hers. "You're gonna say I'm being crazy again, aren't you?"

"Well, you are but no…" she replied, her two hands fisting around the material of his t-shirt so that she could bring him even closer. Her tongue swept across his lower lip before she brought it between her own and sucked on it gently. "…I was going to ask if you wanted me to help you take your mind off it…"

He lifted her up onto the bathroom counter in one smooth motion, positioning himself between her legs. "Kate, you should know," his hands settled against her hips, "you don't _ev_er have to ask that."

* * *

_A/N: I have nothing against preschools in New York City (nor do I have any personal knowledge about them). All of my information comes from that one episode of _'House' _where Cuddy was trying to get Rachel into her 'first-choice' preschool and some books and articles that I have read about the whole application process… I know they were probably exaggerated but the exaggeration is what made it fun to write this chapter. ;)_

_Coming up: something borrowed, something blue..._

_Thoughts?_


	35. YOU'LL

**Chapter 35**

.

The Parish/Esposito wedding was on a Saturday with the ceremony due to start at one o'clock sharp.

The chaos and panic started at the crack of dawn.

Kate's cellphone rang at five. Eyes still closed, she answered without bothering to look at the caller display, "Lanie, your seating chart is fine, the food will be great, and Zoey and I will not be late to the hair-and-makeup session."

"It's snowing outside!"

"It's winter."

"It can't be _snowing_ today! I have people driving in! What if they get stuck in the middle of nowhere and nobody gets to the wedding on time and…"

Kate sat up in bed with a groan. She didn't bother interrupting Lanie's diatribe as she fumbled for her slippers in the dark and walked over to the window. Pulling the curtains open halfway – an action that caused Castle to mutter something that sounded like _'this wedding needed to be over yesterday'_ – Kate made a noise of disbelief.

"Lanie!" She had to practically yell into the phone in order to get Lanie's attention. "It's _barely snowing_ outside. I don't even know if I would call them flurries. And by the time the afternoon rolls around and the temperature rises above freezing, I'm going to bet even those will go away. Have you even _checked_ the weather channel?"

"Nat has."

"And…?"

"She told me I was crazy."

"You are." Kate pulled the curtain closed. "Now can you please let me get a couple more hours of sleep? You don't want me looking hideous in your pictures, do you?"

"I feel bad for the wedding planner," Castle said when Kate crawled back into bed.

She tossed her cellphone back onto the side table. "Well, think about it this way: in twelve hours, the alcohol will start flowing."

He pulled her close. "Does that mean you'll let me feel you up on the dance floor?" he murmured into the crook of her neck.

"You can certainly try," Kate replied teasingly.

"Is that a challenge? 'Cause you know I never pass up a good challenge."

.

By some miracle, Lanie didn't call again that morning. When Kate and Zoey arrived at Lanie's mother's house (where they would all be getting ready), Kate saw why. Natalie had confiscated Lanie's cellphone.

Kate turned around to wave goodbye at Castle; they would be meeting him later at the church. His only job was to collect Zoey at the end of the aisle after her flower girl duties.

"Hello Mrs. Parish," Kate greeted. "Are we the last ones?"

Mrs. Parish smiled, "Yes, but don't worry about it. I remember how difficult it is to get children out of the house in the morning."

Kate peered down the hallway. Zoey had already been boosted up onto the kitchen counter, surrounded by half of the females in the house. "She's going to get a lot of attention today, isn't she?"

Mrs Parish chuckled. "She _is_ a cutie… and she also happens to be the only one in this house under the age of eighteen."

The morning went by relatively smoothly. Kate made sure that Zoey was the last to get her hair and make-up done, knowing that expecting a child to sit still so as not to mess up a delicate hair-do was ludicrous.

For once, Zoey's naturally curly hair was a blessing.

"I think we should leave it down," said Teresa, the stylist, "Your daughter's hair is lovely."

"Not when you have to comb through it," Kate replied wryly. "I considered cutting it shorter but the curls would only get tighter—"

"—Annie ringlets," Teresa supplied, "Yeah, I agree, two inches or so below her shoulders is a good length. Looser waves, more manageable."

Kate laughed. "Exactly."

Teresa ended up gathering the top half of Zoey's brown hair into a complicated knot, weaving a burgundy ribbon through some of the strands to match the bridesmaids' dresses. Zoey's own flower girl dress was ivory in colour, sleeveless with a lace bodice over matte satin and a Peter Pan collar. She couldn't stop twirling around in it once Kate got it on her at the church.

Lanie was now a bundle of nerves as last minute preparations went on all around her. They were all crowded into one of the Sunday school rooms in the basement of the church.

"Lanie," Kate said, placing a calming hand on her friend's shoulder, "Remember to breathe."

"Are you mocking me right now, Kate?" she replied, "Because now is not the time to mock me."

"Lanie, you're my best friend," Kate said.

Lanie finally looked at Kate, the sentiment having been uttered out of the blue.

Kate smiled, glad that for a second Lanie wasn't preoccupied with freaking out. "I want you to be happy and while nobody is good enough for you, I think Esposito comes pretty close."

Lanie almost started to tear. "Girl, I will kill you if you make me mess up my makeup," she said before pulling Kate into a hug. "Thanks."

"Now, is there anything I can do for you?" Kate offered.

"Actually, yeah, could you go over to the guys' room and get Javier's nephew Adrian? Then, take him and Zoey upstairs and, I don't know, remind them what to do?"

"Mhm, sure," Kate replied, "I'll stay with them."

"We'll be up as soon as my mom finishes fussing over Nat's dress," Lanie said with a roll of her eyes. "Oh, and _don't_ give them the flower petals and ring until right before the door opens."

"I know, Lanie," Kate said dryly, having been the one who had told her that in the first place.

When Kate entered the room down the hall, she was met with whistles. "Sorry boys," she said, waving her left hand, "I'm taken."

"Beckett, what's up?" Esposito said.

"I'm here to get Adrian and take him upstairs with Zo," she replied, "Oh, and I need Lanie's ring. Nat already gave me yours."

Esposito looked expectantly at Ryan. Kate watched as Ryan's eyes widened comically.

Esposito narrowed his eyes. "Yo, don't mess with me today. Tell me you have the ring."

"I do, I do!" Ryan answered hurriedly.

Kate waited for the 'but'.

Sure enough, "But it's not here. With me. At this very second."

Esposito and Kate both groaned.

"Well then where the hell is it?" Esposito asked.

"I wanted to make sure it was safe! So, I had Jenny hold onto it. She was supposed to remember to get it back to me…"

"Is Jenny here yet?" Kate asked.

Ryan had already whipped out his phone. When it was clear that Jenny wasn't picking up, Kate took hers out.

Castle answered on the third ring. "Miss me already?"

"Looks like you have a job after all, Castle," Kate said by way of reply.

"Ooo. Mission time."

"Focus, Castle."

"I am a camera."

"I need you to find Jenny. Ryan left the ring with her and she's not picking up her phone."

"Oh! I just spotted her a second ago. By the front of the church." Kate heard him shuffle through groups of people.

"Good, can you meet me at the back door? Apparently, I'm in charge of the flower girl and ring bearer today."

"Yup," he said, "I'll see you soon."

Adrian was several years older than Zoey and Kate found it adorable when he kept telling the little girl things that he had learned in school as they walked to their destination. Adrian had an older brother so it must've been quite a refreshing twist to be the one who knew everything. Most of the time, Kate suspected Zoey had no idea what Adrian was blabbering on about but she did ask, "Really?" at the right moments.

Kate was too busy watching Adrian show Zoey how he could touch his nose with his tongue that she didn't notice Castle approaching behind her.

"Hey gorgeous," he whispered against her ear.

She whirled around and smiled. "You're not so bad yourself." She placed her hands against the lapels of his jacket and said teasingly, "You know, if you're lucky, you might just get to sleep with a bridesmaid tonight."

"Oh, I don't know," he replied, wrapping his arms loosely around her waist, "My fiancée might have a problem with that."

Her voice dropped seductively. "And what do you think she would do if she found out?"

He leaned in and she could feel his smile against her lips. "Well, she does own a pair of handcuffs…"

Two seconds into their kiss and they heard, "Eww! He's going to catch her cooties!"

Zoey looked innocently at Adrian who had uttered the phrase. "What are cooties?" she asked.

"Nothing, sweetheart," Castle said, as seriously as he could manage after he and Kate had separated, "Nobody has cooties."

"No, that's not true," Adrian said loudly, pointing at Castle, "You d—"

"—_Al_right Adrian," Kate said, cutting him off, "I think it's almost time to start so we better get ready." She retrieved the ring from Castle. "I'll see you afterwards," she said to him.

He was just about to lean in for a quick kiss when he saw that Adrian was still staring suspiciously at them. "Maybe later," he said to Kate, chuckling.

.

When Zoey made her way down the aisle, (running out of flower petals before she had even gone halfway), Castle's eyes glistened a little bit. His mind having suddenly pictured a much older Zoey walking down the aisle at her own wedding. He wrapped his arm around Alexis' shoulder, suddenly feeling nostalgic as he realised how much sooner that day would come for his other little girl. It wasn't long before Alexis was joining him in tears, crying so much during Esposito and Lanie's vows that she had to go to the bathroom to fix her make-up after the ceremony.

In Kate's case, though, she held strong. All the way through the rings and an emotional speech made by Mrs. Parish, not a single tear was shed. But then, the father-daughter dance was announced.

By the end of the second verse, they were asking the guests to join in. As other father-daughter pairs made their way onto the dance floor, Castle turned to his right where Alexis and Zoey had been sandwiched between him and Kate at the table. "Shall we?" he asked.

Alexis raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Are you asking both of us, dad?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed, "I can't leave just _one_ of my daughters out of the fun."

Kate chuckled. "Really?"

Castle winked. "Yeah, why not?"

He picked up Zoey, holding her in one arm while offering Alexis his other. They were quite a sight on the dance floor with Zoey's delighted giggles as she tried to balance her feet atop Castle and Alexis' shoes. Eventually, they conceded defeat and Castle held onto their hands as they twirled around and spun circles around him.

Kate, arms crossed over the back of her chair, alternatively laughed at their antics and hummed along to the music, only clueing into the significance behind their words – _slow down, you're doing fine; you can't be everything you want to be before your time _– the further she went.

Zoey bounced off the dance floor as the piano filtered out, halting a foot away from Kate as she said in surprise, "Mommy! Why are you crying?" She ran the rest of the way to give Kate a hug.

"They're happy tears, Zo," Kate replied, laughing a little at her own reaction to something so minor.

Seemingly satisfied with that response, Zoey released Kate and pranced over to Alexis to ask when they were going to cut the gigantic cake she had seen.

Kate looked up to see Castle smiling back down at her. "Am I a complete mess right now?" she asked, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.

Castle shook his head, leaning down to swipe his thumb across her cheek before dropping a kiss on it.

"What?" she said when he pulled away and still had that goofy smile on his face.

When he spoke, his tone was light but no less heady: "You know that feeling you get after your first real kiss with the person you've had a crush on for the longest time and they've suddenly noticed you? That hormonal, exhilarating, I-can't-believe-this-is-happening, life won't ever be this perfect again feeling?" He paused for a beat before murmuring, "That's how you make me feel."

* * *

_A/N: I apologise PROFUSELY for the distinct lack of updates - this is due in part to FFN. I think everything is backlogged because for a while I wasn't able to post and I'm only just getting alerts/reviews! Très frustrating._

_Still, hope you enjoyed! The song for the father-daughter dance was Billy Joel's _Vienna_. One of my favourites._


	36. MAKE

**Chapter 36**

.

Alexis was uncharacteristically quiet when they picked her up from the train station on Saturday. Even when Zoey, who never failed to cheer her up, tried to engage her, Alexis would only respond half-heartedly.

Kate and Castle exchanged concerned looks but didn't comment until they entered the loft.

"So, Alexis, how were your finals?" Castle said, adding reassuringly, "You know, even if you think you did horribly, it's nothi—"

"—He broke up with me!" Alexis blurted out and then immediately burst into tears.

"What?" Castle said, completely thrown off by the sudden emotional outburst.

"James! He broke up with me yesterday!"

Kate gathered Alexis into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Alexis."

Castle, meanwhile, seemed to be taking just as badly. "_He _broke up with _you_?" he exclaimed. "Oh, that little punk, I'm gonna _kill _him!"

"Good to know who I should arrest when I find his dead body," Kate replied wryly.

"I'm not kidding, Kate. That little cretin _hurt_ her!" He pulled Alexis into his own bone-crushing hug. "Don't worry, pumpkin, I'll—"

"—dad, stop," Alexis said between sobs, "Don't kill him. It's not… I don't think he meant to hurt me."

"Well, meant to or not, he did!" Castle replied, "Do you still have his number, trust m—"

"Dad!" Alexis pushed him away. "Please! You're making it worse." She ran up the stairs.

"Oh, no you don't," Kate said, holding up a hand to stop him when he looked like he was about to follow.

"How am _I_ making it worse?" he huffed.

"Stay down here," Kate ordered and then pointed over to where Zoey was sitting wide-eyed on the living room couch. "Maybe explain to Zo why her older sister just burst into tears."

"Kate, I should go talk to her," Castle pleaded.

Kate shook her head firmly. "No. _I _will go talk to her."

"Do _not_ say this is a girl thing."

"When have I ever said that about anything?" Kate replied, "Look, clearly, I'm the level-headed one here."

"Ka—"

"—Nuh-uh. Stay down here and calm down, Castle. I mean it."

Kate disappeared up the stairs a second later. She knocked gently on Alexis' door, not surprised when she didn't receive an answer. Still, she eased the door open slowly. "Alexis," she said, "It's me."

Alexis was lying face down on her bed with her head buried under a pillow. Her voice was muffled when she finally spoke, "At least he had the decency to wait until _after_ finals, right?"

Kate sat down cross-legged beside her. "What happened?" she asked after she heard less sniffling on Alexis' end.

Alexis turned her head, bright blue eyes staring up at Kate. "He's graduating."

Kate nodded sympathetically. "Moving back to Toronto?"

"No. London."

"_Eng_land?"

Alexis stared at her strangely. "Is there another London?"

"Well, actually, there's one close to Tor—you know what, that's not important. Did James not want to do a long-distance relationship?" she asked instead.

"I guess but that's not the way he phrased it," Alexis answered.

"How did he phrase it?"

"He said that while we used to be in the same stage of our lives, he couldn't be with me anymore because he's moving on to another phase. That we're young and there are plenty of other people to meet."

Kate winced. "Okay… so, he could have phrased it better."

"You think?"

"But the real question is: were you planning on staying with him even if he hadn't broken up with you? Could you have done a long-distance relationship?"

Alexis moaned and buried her head again. "I don't know."

Kate ran her fingers soothingly through Alexis' long hair. "Do you need me to go out and get you some _Cherry Garcia_?"

"Can we watch a gory horror movie and pretend one of the victims is James?"

"Absolutely. Your dad'll love that."

.

"Hi grandpa!" Zoey raised her arms, indicating that she wanted Jim to pick her up.

"Oof, you're getting too big for me," Jim joked, lifting her up, "You're growing so fast, you'll be taller than grandpa soon."

Zoey giggled. "You're silly."

"Hi dad," Kate said, kissing Jim on the cheek.

"I thought Alexis would be joining us," Jim said.

"Oh," Kate grimaced, "James broke up with her on Friday."

"Ouch."

"Yeah," Castle chimed in from behind Kate, "She decided to go over to a friend's house. Said she would feel weird talking about ways to murder James in front of Kate." He shut the door and then offered Jim the container full of brownies. "We brought the dessert."

"Katie…"

"What? Dad, Zo and Castle made them yesterday while I was at work. Zoey wanted you to try them," Kate said.

Jim shook his head, clearly not believing his daughter. Accepting the brownies, he said, "And I'm guessing you came over early so that you could cook the entire dinner as well?"

Kate shrugged and smiled. "Well, if you're not already done, I might as well help."

Ever since Zoey had entered her life, Kate had been making more of an effort to see her dad on a regular basis. Eventually, this had led to weekly Sunday night dinners, mostly at their house although, occasionally, they went out. This was the first time they had gone over to her dad's for dinner. He had had minor surgery done earlier in the week and even though he had insisted he was fine, Kate hadn't wanted him driving or doing anything he didn't have to.

"I'm guessing you don't make dinner often," Jim commented as he observed Kate following the open recipe book to the letter.

"Castle's the better cook," she answered, distracted with finding the measuring spoons.

"_Thank_ you for finally admitting it," Castle exclaimed, timing his entrance perfectly. He leaned against the threshold to the kitchen so that he could keep an eye on Zoey in the living room.

"I never said you weren't," Kate replied, glancing over her shoulder with a smirk.

"Yes, but you never said I was _better_, either."

"Your ego's big enough without me helping it along," Kate retorted.

"Now, now, children," Jim said, humoured as always by Kate and Castle's constant back-and-forth. His admonishment didn't seem to slow them down, though, and they continued until he interrupted. "—So, have you two started wedding preparations yet?"

Kate turned her head away from the pot she was stirring. "That's out of the blue, dad."

"Martha and I have been talking—"

"Whoa, whoa," Castle said, interrupting Jim, "You've been talking to my mother? About what?"

"The two of you," Jim said, "Obviously."

Kate rolled her eyes, "Well, at least you're honest."

"Now, we both realise that you two just wanted to enjoy being engaged for a while—"

"—Mm," Castle made a tiny noise of objection, "_Kate_ wanted to enjoy being engaged for a while, I—"

Kate glared at Castle, "Would you let my dad finish?"

Castle held up his hands in innocence.

Jim looked back and forth between the two of them before continuing, "—but it's been, what, five months since your engagement?" He directed his next phrase to his daughter, knowing exactly what Castle had wanted to say, "Katie, I really think you should start thinking about it."

"We've just finished planning Lanie's wedding, dad," Kate replied and then to Castle, said, "Remember how much you hated that?"

"Yes," Castle agreed readily, "But that was _Lanie's _wedding."

"I think what he means to say," Jim said before Kate could interject, "is that planning your own wedding would be different."

"And we can get a wedding planner to do all the stressing for us," Castle added, "The one my mother used for her wedding to Roman has been calling incessantly. It's getting a little annoying, actually."

Jim and Castle both looked expectantly at Kate, who didn't respond. The expression on Castle's face grew less and less playful the longer Kate stayed silent until he was downright anxious.

"Katie," Jim started gently, "I was merely making a suggestion."

"I know, dad, but can we just put the wedding talk on hold right now?" Kate looked at Castle, "Okay?"

Castle nodded. "Yeah, of course." A beat, then, "We're…"

"…fine," Kate said, eyes sincere. "Now," she gestured towards the living room, "Can you go check on Zo before she decides to break something?"

"Katie?" Jim prodded after Castle had left the kitchen. "What's really going on here?"

"Nothing," she answered, washing the romaine hearts.

"Have you changed your m—"

"—no. I want to get married and I want to get married to Castle," she said with no doubt in her voice whatsoever. She stopped shredding the lettuce and leaned forward against the sink, bracing herself with her hands. "Daddy, I love you," she declared quietly.

Jim stepped forward, rubbing Kate's back gently. "Honey, you know that I know that."

Kate nodded. "I love you so I don't want to sound… I don't want you to—"

"—just tell me, Katie," Jim said reassuringly.

She tilted her head to look at her dad. "When Lanie was picking out her cake and going to her dress fittings and freaking out about her make-up…" she took a deep breath, "…her mom was there." Kate heard her dad's sharp inhale and closed her eyes before continuing. "Even though Lanie found her mom so annoying sometimes, I know she wouldn't have had it any other way. And I know you're here and I have Martha who is just itching to help me but it's…"

"…it's not the same." Jim pulled Kate into a hug. "I know."

"I miss her, daddy. So much. And every time I think about planning my wedding or picking out a dress, I miss her even more."

Jim wasn't ashamed to let his own tears flow freely. "I miss her, too, Katie," he said, "I miss her, too."

.

In bed that night, Castle waited until they were both in bed and the lights had been turned off before saying, "Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"About the whole wedding thing—"

"—Castle, not now," Kate said, turning away from him.

"No, I mean—" Castle shifted closer to Kate, "—I heard what you said tonight. When you were in the kitchen with your dad."

She tensed up. "That was a private conversation, Castle. You shouldn't have been listening."

"I know," he said softly, then after a beat, added, "I wish you had told me."

Kate remained silent and he thought she had decided to ignore him. He propped his head up with his hand and leaned over to peer at her; that's when he saw the tears she was trying so desperately to hide. "Oh, Kate…" he whispered, "I—"

"—don't," she said, her voice raspy, "Castle, please don't come any closer."

He stopped moving but he kept talking. "I don't need a big wedding. In fact, I only want one if you want one. I want whatever you want. I don't care how we get married, Kate, just that we do. _How _isn't important at all." He crept a little closer, stroking his fingers down her bare arms. "If you want to get married in Vegas, I'm cool with that; if you want to have a ceremony on a cruise ship, I'm on board—" he saw a hint of a smile on Kate's face at his crack "—and if you just want to sign a piece of paper in city hall in front of a Justice of the Peace, I'm okay with that, too."

Kate finally turned around to face him. "I don't want a big wedding," she said.

"Good," he replied, "I was really hoping you didn't."

"I'd be happy if it were just me, you, Zo, Alexis, my dad, your mother… probably Lanie, 'cause she'd kill me if I got hitched without her present…" she drifted off.

Castle smiled. "I like that list."

Kate nodded and inched closer to his body where he immediately wrapped an arm around her. After a few minutes, she said softly, "But I don't just want to go and sign a piece of paper. And I haven't decided when or where."

Castle shrugged and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "When the time's right, we'll know."

"You know I don't believe in that sixth-sense, sign from the universe, feeling, right?"

"Mhm," he said, smiling in her hair. "Lucky for us, I do."

* * *

_A/N: So, a forewarning? This might be my last update on both this and _Eyes Open_ for the next week or so (at least until after next Tuesday) because real life is going to get super crazy. I have a portfolio to get together and exams so yeah, as much as I love to eschew responsibilities, I really must set my priorities in order! Know that I am super sorry though and if you're reading _Eyes Open_... I will do my best to update that one first 'cause I left it on a pretty evil cliffhanger... At least we get new episodes? (Seriously don't want to alienate my readers so yeah, apologies for this)! -Violet_


	37. IT

**Chapter 37**

.

The sun was streaming into the loft when Castle entered, all of the curtains drawn back and the windows opened. He saw Alexis' note on the door when he went to lock it. She had left that morning for a month-long backpacking trip across Asia – an impromptu trip suggested by one of her friends who had wanted one last hurrah before entering the 'real world'. He knew that he wouldn't make it back in time from his meeting to see her off so they had already said their 'goodbyes' and 'be safes' beforehand. Still, he smiled as he went to pin the note up on the refridgerator door.

When he turned around, he was met with another sight that only made him smile wider. There, lying on the couch underneath the bright sunshine, was Kate and Zoey taking a catnap. The little girl was sprawled more than halfway on top of her mom, with her head tucked just underneath Kate's chin and her right hand lightly grasping at the cotton material of Kate's white t-shirt.

Castle sat down on the carpet beside them and gently rubbed Zoey's back while he listened to their deep, even breaths. Resting his head sideways on the couch, with his face inches away from Kate's, he couldn't help but think how quickly both of his daughters were growing up.

Kate's arm, loosely draped over Zoey, twitched slightly and a few seconds later her eyes blinked open. She smiled when she saw him so close, grasping for his fingers from their resting place on Zoey's back.

Looking from Zoey to Kate, he couldn't help the thought from entering his mind. "I want another one," he whispered.

Kate's reaction time was still a little sluggish, her eyes refusing to fully open. Her answer turned out to be a muddled, "Hm?"

He shook his head. "Nothing," he answered quickly, slightly relieved. He had surprised himself with his sudden desire for another baby and he had no intention of surprising Kate until he knew what she wanted. Hell, he was still confused about what _he_ wanted. He waved away his confusion and extracted his hand from her grasp. "Go back to sleep," he said, kissing her gently on the lips.

"No," she murmured, "We should get up or else Zo won't sleep tonight." She forced her own eyes open. "Zozo," Kate said coaxingly, shifting a little on the couch, "It's time to get up."

It took a few more tries before Zoey sat up. She rubbed her eyes. "Is it morning?"

Castle picked her up so that Kate could move. "No, you and mommy took a nap, remember?" He peered down at her. "Are you hungry? Do you want some juice?"

"I don't know," Zoey answered, still disoriented.

Castle chuckled, "Well, let's go into the kitchen anyway and see what we have."

Zoey nodded.

Kate's cellphone rang before he could ask her if she wanted anything. She looked at the caller ID. "It's the precinct," she said. By the expression on her face, Castle knew she would have to go in. He gave her his most pathetic puppy-dog look before carrying Zoey over to the fridge.

"So," he said to the little girl, "How about some ants on a log?"

.

Castle had given Zoey the job of putting raspberries into the salad and when it took longer than he had anticipated, he looked down at the little table she was situated at.

"One for me," Zoey said, putting a raspberry in her own mouth. She dropped the next one into the salad bowl. "And one for you."

"Zoey!" Castle said, laughing at his daughter's antics. Zoey looked up at him, another raspberry poised at her lips. He shook his head. "That is not what I meant by helping me."

Castle quickly dumped the rest of the raspberries into the salad and wiped Zoey's hands and mouth with a cloth. "Is mommy coming back?" she asked.

"No, I don't think so. Mommy had to go to work, remember?" he replied. Zoey pouted and Castle had to admit he felt just as disappointed. "But—" he started, mind slowing forming an idea, "—how about we _surprise_ mommy?"

Zoey immediately starting clapping her hands. "I like surprises!"

.

"Hey! Who ordered the pizzas?" Esposito called out.

Kate smelled them before she could see them. She looked over her shoulder from her position at the murder board and spotted the delivery guy placing three party-sized pizzas onto the nearest desk.

She knew what the next words out of the guy's mouth would be.

"Is there a Detective Kate Beckett here?" the delivery guy shouted.

"Yeah, that's me," she replied, walking over.

"I just need you to sign there," he said, pointing to a receipt, "They've already been paid for."

"Oh, I know," Kate said with a wry smile.

By the time she turned her attention back to the bullpen, the other officers had already bogarted the pizzas. She was just about to reach for a slice when—

"Aw man! The pizza guy beat me here?"

Kate whirled around at the sound of his voice. "Castle—and Zoey! What are you two doing here?"

Zoey hopped over to her, mostly managing to duck past the officers who tried to ruffle her hair. "We made a surprise!"

"Oh, you did?" Kate said, looking at Castle with amusement.

"Well, since you couldn't have dinner with us, we thought we might bring dinner to you," Castle said, lifting up the basket in his hand. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Kate glanced around at the station where everybody seemed to be too preoccupied with eating to be working. "Apparently, I do," she answered.

Zoey held onto her hand as she led the way into the lounge. "Did you eat yet?" Kate asked.

Zoey shook her head and Castle responded, "Zo wanted to wait and eat with you."

Kate sat down at the table with Zoey on her lap and gave her a light squeeze. "How very thoughtful of you, Zo," she said.

Zoey tilted her head up and smiled brightly. "Daddy make lasagna," she said, "and I helped."

"I'm sure daddy really appreciated that," Kate said laughingly. She looked at Castle, "So, the pizzas outside…?"

Castle grinned. "Well, I didn't want the others to get jealous."

Kate shook her head, biting her lip to contain her smile. "You are just…"

"…what?" he asked.

Her eyes shone. "You know what? There are no words."

Kate had to go back to work less than fifteen minutes later – just enough time to quickly eat a small slice of lasagna – but she told Castle and Zoey to stay until they finished. Not knowing how long of a night she would be having, Castle left some salad and a good portion of the lasagna in the fridge with a _very_ clear note saying it was 'off limits unless your name is Katherine Beckett'.

Kate was distracted at her desk when Castle and Zoey finally went to say goodbye.

"Goodnight, Zozo," Kate said, peeling her eyes away from the computer screen to give her daughter a proper hug and kiss. "Mommy will see you in the morning, okay?"

"'kay mommy but you're tucking me in tomorrow, right?"

Kate squeezed Zoey's little hand. "I promise. And you—" Kate said, standing up to give Castle a kiss. She lowered her voice, "—you might find yourself getting woken up tonight..."

Castle's eyes sparkled, "Oh, you can feel free to wake me up at _any_ time."

.

"You know I hate the morbidity of this, right?" Castle said to his lawyer.

"Ironic coming from you: master of the macabre," Joe replied wryly.

"Nice use of the word irony," he commented. "And as a writer, I think about other people's deaths, not my own."

The two of them were sitting in Castle's study on a Tuesday evening. "This is all 'just in case', Rick," Joe said, slipping Castle's revised will back into his briefcase.

"Well, now that that's over and done with," Castle said, "Would you like to stay for dinner? My mother's in town and if she's talking to you, she won't be pestering Kate and I about possible wedding ideas."

"I think I'll pass," Joe said even though he did occasionally enjoy hearing Martha's outrageous stories. "But, since you brought it up, I did want to talk to you about one more thing."

"Sure."

"Have you thought about a prenuptial agreement?"

Castle shook his head. "No. It never even crossed my mind."

Joe looked slightly concerned. "Are you sure? Maybe you and Kate should discuss it."

"It won't be necessary," Castle said.

"That's what you said about Meredith."

Castle winced at the memory of their divorce procedings. "That was different," he answered, "We were young, she was pregnant, and we got married so quickly."

"Still…"

"Look, all I wanted out of my marriage with Meredith was custody of Alexis. I never cared about the money. And there is no danger of Kate ever pulling the kind of stunt that Meredith did; she would never do that to our daughters."

"But there are still kids—well, one child—" Joe corrected, remembering that Alexis was an adult now, "—involved. A prenup would make things like child support clear."

"Kate and I would never get divorced," Castle stated resolutely, holding up his hand before Joe could interrupt, "But _if, if_ we did, Kate's not somebody who would hit me up for child support." Castle rolled his eyes when he saw the skeptism on Joe's face. "I know what you're thinking but even in a scenario where, by some scientific mojo, Kate suddenly developed a new personality and became that person, I would give her whatever she asked for to make her and Zoey happy. I'm telling you, Joe, money's not an issue here."

"You said that about Gina too, but you ended up getting a prenup with her," Joe reminded him.

"Yeah, because _she_ wanted one and it's not like it made a bit of difference. The divorce was _still_ ugly." Castle pushed his chair back. "Listen, Joe, I know you're my lawyer and you're supposed to say these things but you won't make me change my mind on this. Kate and I are forever – and I'm not saying that naively – I know it. Kate doesn't care about the money or the fame or the perks; she's with me in _spite_ of all that. I don't worry about 'ordinary' with her or that one day, we'll get bored of each other and decide it's just too much work. I'll never cheat on her and she would _never_ cheat on me and we already bicker on a daily basis so that'll never be a problem. I mean, as long as she doesn't make good on her threats to shoot me…" Joe's eyebrows rose. "…I'm kidding," Castle said.

After a beat, Joe nodded. "I just had to make sure."

Castle shrugged. "I know."

When the two of them went to open the office door, Kate was playing with Zoey in the living room just outside.

Joe nodded at her. "Kate."

"Joe," she replied coolly. Castle knew, then, that she had heard everything. And she knew he knew.

Still, besides a wink in her direction as he walked Joe out (and an extraordinarily passionate session in bed that night), not another word was said between the two of them regarding the matter.

* * *

_A/N: Ahh! Thank you for your patience guys - I'm (mostly) back now - just a couple more finals next week! I know people who are following _Eyes Open_ are thinking of ways to murder me right now but I already had this chapter 80% written and only needed to do some light editing so yeah, happy fluffiness gets updated first! :)_

_Also, I would like to give a happy little wave to the new readers - thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! They made me very happy - especially all of those who said they don't normally go for stories like this - glad that I managed to lure you to the dark (except, you know, not dark) side! ;)_


	38. SUNNY

**Chapter 38**

.

Neither Kate nor Castle slept very soundly the night before Zoey's first day of preschool.

"This is it," Castle said. It was way too early in the morning and they were both staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide open.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Our little girl is growing up."

"Oh, Castle. She's only four." Kate sighed a minute later. "But I know what you mean."

They both tried to get another hour of sleep after that but Castle kept tossing and turning. Finally, "Can you stop that?" Kate said, annoyed.

Castle sat up. "I can't sleep anymore."

"You're restless."

He leaned over to peer into Kate's face. "You're not sleeping either."

"I would be if you stopped kicking me every five seconds."

"Fine," Castle said, just a little petulantly, "I'm going to make Zo a special breakfast today. Blueberry pancakes shaped like animals. Does she still like elephants? Maybe I'll stick with dogs… oh! How about a strawberry banana smoothie? Do you—"

"—Castle!" Kate interrupted, "Just go and do it instead of sitting here." She nudged him until he hopped off the bed.

"Fine," he said, "I _was_ going to make you handcuffs-shaped blueberry pancakes but now I'm not so sure."

Kate had half a mind to just open her eyes so she could roll them at him.

Still, ten minutes after Castle had left the room, Kate found she was also going crazy lying in bed. She found herself at Zoey's door, pressing her ear against it to make sure she was up before knocking gently and entering.

"Good morning, Zo," Kate said, "Are you excited for your first day of school?"

In a mimic of her parents, Zoey was lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling, petting her stuffed plush doggie. "Mommy?" she said quietly.

Kate sat down beside her, brushing strands of hair away from her face. "Are you a little nervous, Zo? Because that's okay, too."

Over the summer, Zoey had finally warmed up to the idea of school – it helped that Alexis took the time to explain that's where she was all the time and how much fun it would be. It also helped that she got to pick out a new backpack and new crayons. Still, once Zoey's mind drifted away from the novelty of, well, _nove_lty, she would remember that school also meant spending a long span of time, comparatively speaking, with strangers.

Zoey's eyes started to well up after Kate had approached her bed. "I like playing at home with daddy," she said now.

"I know you do," said Kate, "But maybe you'll like playing with other boys and girls, too. You might even like it _more_."

Zoey shook her head.

"Well, you haven't even tried it yet," Kate replied, taking a hold of Zoey's hand. "Do you remember when you first tried carrots?" She waited for Zoey's nod. "You said you would never like them because you didn't like orange but now you love carrots!"

"My favourite colour is orange," Zoey added.

"That's right," Kate said, "So, just like carrots, I think you should give school a try. You won't know until you try, right?"

Zoey was quiet for a few minutes in deep contemplation of Kate's words but Kate knew there were a slew of other worries on her mind – even though she and Castle had tried to answer some every night for the past week.

"What if they don't like me?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey, that won't happen," Kate said, quite positive about that fact, "You are smart and you know how to share and you have a beautiful smile… I don't think you have to worry about people not liking you. And remember that all the other boys and girls are just as nervous as you are about school and making friends so you're not alone either."

Zoey squirmed around before meeting Kate's eyes again. "My tummy doesn't feel good, mommy," she said.

Kate rubbed at Zoey's stomach over her covers. "I think you'll feel much better after breakfast. I think daddy said something about animal pancakes," Kate said, enticingly.

"I'm not hungry," Zoey replied, even as she slid out of bed and let Kate lead her down the stairs.

"Well, let's see if you can eat just a little bit," Kate said, "Otherwise you won't have enough energy for school and we don't want that, do we?"

Kate could smell the heavenly mix of coffee and pancakes as the two of them rounded the corner and made their way into the kitchen.

"There's my big girl!" Castle said with a huge smile. He abandoned his cooking in order to give Zoey a good morning kiss.

Kate took over the flipping of pancakes - a bunny, an octopus, and something that she assumed was supposed to resemble a turtle - while Castle got Zoey settled at the dining table with a glass of orange juice and a reassuring explanation of how eating some penguin-shaped pancakes would definitely chase away some of those butterflies in her stomach. "That's some kind of logic you've got going there, Castle," she said with a chuckle when he made his way back to the stove.

"You don't know," Castle replied with a grin, "It could happen."

"Uh huh," Kate said, handing the spatula back to Castle so she could cut two (doggy-shaped) pancakes into bite-sized pieces for Zoey.

"I can do it, mommy," Zoey insisted, reaching for the plastic green fork and dull knife in Kate's hand.

"Okay, Zo," said Kate with a shrug, even though she knew Zoey would most likely be using her hands after a few frustrating jabs at her stubborn breakfast items. While making her way over to the coffee machine, she peered over Castle's shoulder. "And what is that supposed to be?" she questioned, "A cat? I didn't know they had five legs."

"Hey, don't make fun of my masterpieces!" Castle exclaimed. "You're just jealous that I'm more of a creative genius than you are."

"Oh yeah, you got me there," Kate ribbed.

She had just settled down at the table with her coffee and the paper when Castle slid a plate in front of her. "This one's for you," he said, adding with a grin, "I decided to save the handcuffs for the bedroom."

Kate looked down and smiled, with just the tiniest shake of her head at his antics. There was definitely no ambiguity in his latest creation. Her breakfast was in the shape of a perfect heart.

.

The school was chaos personified. It was a good thing there was a separate entrance for the preschoolers because there were enough anxious parents and crying children without a bunch of older kids milling around as well.

Much like her very first day at the precinct with Kate, Zoey clasped onto her hand with wide-eyes and stayed really shy and quiet. In order to increase her confidence, Castle and Kate had decided to let Zoey pick her own outfit; after much debate the night before, Zoey had chosen jeans and her favourite ladybug t-shirt.

The school had a policy about first days. Parents could only take their children as far as the threshold of their classroom, though, there wasn't a rule on how _long_ they could stay out there.

"Here you go, Zo," Castle said, handing her the striped orange backpack. "What do you think? Are you ready?"

Zoey shifted a little on her feet.

"We won't leave until you're ready to go inside," Kate said.

The two of them watched as Zoey observed the other kids, noticing how a lot of them seemed to be crying. Surprisingly, Zoey didn't follow suit. It took a few minutes and many deep, uncertain breaths but she finally nodded.

"Okay," she said, quietly but surely, "I'm ready."

"Daddy will be back to pick you up at lunchtime," Kate said.

She and Castle each gave Zoey a hug and watched her walk through the classroom door.

"Castle, are you crying?" Kate said when they exited the school.

"No."

She didn't comment on his rapid blinking. "What are you doing for the next four hours?" she asked instead. When Castle didn't immediately reply, she turned and stared at him. "No. You are _not_ thinking about sitting outside all morning."

"It's only three and a half hours!" he exclaimed.

"Nope. Not happening. Remember how I keep telling you that staring at me is creepy? Well, sitting in your car all morning outside of a school is right up there."

"What do _you_ propose I do, then?" he said, crossing his arms.

"Come to the precinct with me." The answer flew out of Kate's mouth as if it was the only logical response.

"Really?"

"Sure. We have a case that I think even you would find weird."

Castle perked up. "Lead me to your murder board, detective."

.

When Zoey entered her classroom, everything felt strange. There were desks arranged in groups of four and colourful posters everywhere and toys that were just a little bit different from her own.

"Hi there," said the teacher, kneeling down in front of Zoey. She was tall with braids in her hair. "I'm Miss Thomas, what's your name?"

"Zoey," she answered softly.

"Well, Zoey, welcome to your very first classroom. We're all sitting down on the magic carpet right now until everybody gets here. Why don't you go and find a spot."

Zoey nodded. There was none of the usual skip in her step as she walked towards the centre of the room. Only five other kids were sitting down and Zoey examined each one warily. She settled on sitting smack dab in the middle, between a girl with hair the colour of Alexis' and a boy who had very shiny white running shoes.

It took Miss Thomas's gentle guidance before any of them started to talk to each other and even then, they only said 'hi'. The boy next to Zoey looked like he wanted to say something else after his 'hello' so she kept peering over at him.

"I like ladybugs, too," he said finally.

"One time, my daddy and I got one," Zoey replied, glad that the boy was talking about something she really liked.

"Do you still have it?"

"No. I let it go. My daddy says they like the outside."

The boy nodded. Then, after a beat, said, "My name is Gabriel."

"I'm Zoey."

.

Zoey was a completely different person when Castle picked her up at one o'clock. She practically bounced out the door to greet him. "Hi daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Hi Zo," he said with a wide – and relieved – smile. "So, did you have a good first day?"

"Yup, yup!" She held onto Castle's hand as they walked to the car. "Miss Thomas is nice and there are blocks here, too! And a lot of markers!"

"That sounds very cool," Castle replied.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry now."

Castle was glad to see that Zoey's appetite had returned. She hadn't had a lot to eat at breakfast. "How about we go get sandwiches and bring them to mommy so we can all eat together and you can tell her about your day?" he asked, "I'm sure mommy will be very, very happy when you tell her all the things you told me."

"Okay!" Zoey replied. Castle noticed how every other sentence coming out of her mouth seemed to be in exclamations but all of this excitement was what he and Kate had hoped for. So, all the way to the deli and to the precinct, Castle listened to Zoey talk excitedly about her new school.

That night, Zoey had no problems falling asleep, completely exhausted from her eventful day.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so when I take a break from studying, I prefer writing feel-good fluff rather than drama & anxiety-inducing suspense (I get enough anxiety just _thinking_ about my finals, yo) which is why you poor folks reading _Eyes Open_ are now getting more creative with murder plots! Seriously though, last exam is on Monday. I promise to update Tuesday night (EST) at the latest!_

_Still, hope y'all enjoyed this latest instalment of _Separation Anxiety_, aka: the fluff monster..._


	39. the only one my arms will ever hold

**Chapter 39**

.

The Castle charm was hard to resist and Gabriel Anderson Brewer was, however unknowingly, falling happily into their spirited lifestyle.

It started like this:

"Daddy! Leaves!" Zoey tugged at Castle's hand to get his attention.

They were on a field trip and every child in Zoey's class had a chaperone. The Summerhill School was very much into parental involvement. Maybe a little _too_ much. Kate and Castle received weekly updates and monthly newsletters and it was frowned upon if a parent missed a PTA meeting.

"Is this normal?" Kate had asked one night when Zoey had presented them with yet another bulletin about a charity bakesale.

"It gets a little less intense after elementary school," Castle had answered. "Attendence is no longer mandatory."

"So, basically, Alexis learned to filter out those events where you could have potentially embarrassed her."

"Basically, yes."

On this particular October day, Zoey's class was visiting a pumpkin farm. Having just finished picking out their perfect class pumpkin for Halloween, they had all decided on a snack-and-washroom break.

Castle turned and saw the giant piles of leaves that had caught Zoey's attention. Alexis had just taken Zoey to Central Park on the weekend to jump in the leaves; evidently, Zoey hadn't gotten enough.

"Do you want to go?" Castle asked Zoey, even though he knew the question would be met with enthusiastic nods. "What about your juice?"

Zoey quickly slurped down the last of her grape juice. "All done!"

Castle caught the attention of Zoey's teacher who was only slightly surprised at Castle's own enthusiasm at the prospect of jumping into a huge pile of leaves (she _had _met him more than once, after all).

The other children enviously watched Zoey play in the autumn foliage with joyous shrieks while the parents – though in most cases, it was the nannies who had come along as the child's chaperone – had either dubious or unimpressed expressions on their faces.

The concept of nannies had been a new one for Zoey who still egocentrically assumed that every family operated exactly like hers.

"Daddy?" she had asked one day after school.

"Yeah, Zo?"

"Gabriel says his mommy doesn't pick him up; he says Lina isn't his mommy."

Castle had just finished buckling Zoey into her carseat. "That's right," he had replied, "Lina is Gabriel's nanny."

"What's a nanny?"

Castle had taken the time between shutting the backdoor and climbing into the driver's seat to think about how best to phrase his response. He had met Lina within the first week of school as Gabriel and Zoey had forged an immediate bond over insects. This, coupled with the fact that because their last names fell one after the other on the class list, they often ended up as partners, meant the two of them had become fast friends. It hadn't surprised him that most parents couldn't afford to pick up their children from school every day; what _had_ perturbed him was the fact that in actuality, most of Zoey's classmates weren't in situations where both parents worked. "A nanny is kind of like a babysitter," Castle had finally answered.

"You mean like Uncle Ryan or Auntie Lanie?"

"Hmm… yeah, sort of."

"Then Gabriel's lucky," Zoey had concluded.

"Why?"

"Because he gets to stay up every night."

Castle had chuckled. "Oh, is that what Uncle Ryan and Auntie Lanie let you do at their houses? Wait until I tell your mommy about this."

Thankfully, in this situation, Zoey didn't yet have the self-awareness to care about the looks they were getting and Castle, of course, had never let others' reactions stop him from doing age-inappropriate things.

Zoey, seeing Gabriel returning from his trip to the bathroom, called out to him, "Come play with us!"

Gabriel looked up at Lina. He normally wasn't allowed to play in the leaves.

Lina shrugged. "Go ahead, Gabe." She would find a way to explain the inevitable stains to his parents later. In many ways, she was glad that Gabriel had found a friend in Zoey Castle and that the little girl's family was so different from the ones that the Brewers tended to associate with. Lina had always been a big proponent of letting kids play and get dirty and explore in their own ways. While she understood why the Brewers wanted Gabriel to be able to speak French and play the piano, Lina couldn't help but prefer Castle's style of learning. She saw with her own eyes how Gabriel changed during his time with them, how he actually acted like a carefree child for once.

Lina sat down about a foot away from Castle as Gabriel and Zoey were currently attempting to cover him in leaves. "You are much like a child yourself, Mr. Castle," she commented.

Castle snorted. "Yeah, Zoey's mom likes to remind me of that daily."

.

Curiosity eventually got the best of Nancy and Charles Brewer. After hearing Gabriel, and quite often Lina, mention Zoey day in and day out, they made a point of picking up their son – together – the Friday before a long weekend in November. They had already gathered from Lina that Zoey would be picked up by both mom and dad that day.

"This is a coincidence!" Nancy said, though her tone betrayed her real emotion.

It was about five minutes before the end of the school day. Kate and Castle had been quietly going over the aspects of their latest case but they looked up when they heard the high-pitched exclamation. "Oh!" said Castle, reacting first, "Mr. and Mrs. Brewer, what a surprise."

"Oh please," said Nancy, "You can call us Nancy and Charles. After all, your daughter and my son are calling themselves 'best friends'."

Kate knew how fickle elementary friendships could be and quite honestly, she had been surprised when Zoey hadn't moved on to another "best friend" at the end of two weeks. This frank reminder by Nancy, though, suddenly brought to light that Zoey and Gabriel's continued friendship would inevitably mean a _lot_ more interaction with the Brewers. Kate wasn't sure how she felt about that just yet.

"You know," Nancy continued, "when Gabriel first mentioned Zoey, I had a feeling it might be _your_ Zoey."

Kate smiled politely, "Well, they seem to have hit it off."

"Where's Lina today?" Castle asked.

"Oh, we've decided to go out of town for the weekend," Charles answered, "We're heading to the airport straight from here."

"And how about you two?" Nancy asked.

"Normally, Rick gets Zoey after school but we're picking up Zoey's older sister, Alexis, from the train station at two-thirty so I thought I would join them."

"And where is she currently?" Nancy asked.

"Alexis?" Castle replied, "She's attending Yale—" neither Kate nor Castle missed the Brewers' raised eyebrows. Kate resisted the urge to roll her eyes "—she's just coming home for the weekend."

Just then, the bell rang, saving Kate and Castle from any more questions that were sure to be prying. The feeling that they were being judged and scrutinised wasn't lost on them. In any other situation, Kate wouldn't have been so polite.

Gabriel and Zoey walked out of the classroom together, each clutching construction paper turkeys.

Charles' reaction – a nod of acknowledgement before placing the craft into Gabriel's backpack – was completely different from Castle's.

"Can we put it up daddy?" Zoey asked.

Castle held onto the multicoloured turkey while Kate helped Zoey with her jacket. "Of course!" he answered, "We'll put it up on the fridge, right next to the birthday card you made for mommy."

Zoey gave them both a wide smile. "Are we seeing Lexi now?"

"Not just yet," Castle replied, "First we're going to have lunch because mommy's hungry—" at Kate's wayward glance, he added, "—even though she doesn't want to admit it."

"Can I choose?" Zoey asked hopefully.

"How about daddy and I pick three different places and you can choose from those," Kate said, knowing that if they let Zoey choose, they would most likely end up eating cupcakes at Magnolia.

"Bye Zoey," Gabriel said before she could agree to Kate's suggestion.

Zoey waved. "Bye!"

"Maybe we should plan a playdate for the two of them," Nancy said over her shoulder.

"Sure," Castle answered breezily with absolutely no intention of following through.

.

Needless to say, Nancy was an initiator and she made sure to call the Castle residence just two days after the long weekend.

"Why don't you and Kate come over to our house?" she suggested. "The four of us can have coffee and chat while Zoey and Gabriel play."

Kate made sure Castle scheduled the playdate for Sunday afternoon so that they had an excuse to bail.

"Okay, so we're agreed?" Kate said, right before stepping out of the car and onto the Brewers' driveway, "One hour minimum and then, if it's bad, we say that we have to get ready for dinner with my dad."

Castle jumped out of the passenger seat, opening the back door to get Zoey. "Why are you so against this playdate again?" he asked.

"I'm not against the playdate," she answered, "I think Gabriel is a sweet kid but I grew up in Manhattan too, Castle. Remember when you told me that money just magnifies who you are?"

Castle knew where she was going. Still, it didn't stop him from grinning. "Now that you know how much worse it could've been, doesn't that make you appreciate my inner child that much more?"

.

It hadn't been a disaster. Unfortunately, it hadn't been very fun either – for both children and parents.

Still, due to the growing friendship between Zoey and Gabriel, it didn't take long before the playdates became a regular occurrence. Some days, instead of having Lina pick Gabriel up, Castle would simply carpool both him and Zoey back to the loft until Charles or Nancy was ready to pick him up which, most of the time, entailed sending a car with Lina.

Without fail, these playdates always happened at the loft. It became an unspoken agreement. The Brewers' house, while big, contained so many potentially breakable objects that it had to be navigated like a maze. And, unlike the child-friendly Castle household with soft blankets draped across the couches and various knick-knacks littered across surfaces, the only room that could be considered even a bit messy was Gabriel's playroom and that was only while he was using it. Somebody always reorganised it immediately afterwards.

Paradoxically, even though the little boy had a lot more toys than Zoey did, it always seemed like there was a lot more to do and a lot more fun to be had at her house rather than his. At the loft, they could make a game out of overturned couch cushions and use their imaginations to create rocketships out of cardboard boxes. As long as it wasn't dangerous, Castle and Kate let the two of them do whatever they wanted: whether it be blowing bubbles in the house or making stamps out of cut up pieces of fruit. The one time Alexis was home while Gabriel had been there, she had taught the two preschoolers how to play hide-and-seek.

"Mommy, it's snowing!" Zoey bounded up to Kate when she entered the loft after work on a Tuesday.

"I know," Kate replied, shaking out her wet scarf, "Mommy got caught in it on the way home."

"Somebody sounds crabby." Castle waited until Kate had taken off her shoes and had flopped down onto the living room couch before giving her an upside down kiss. "At least you're home now," he said.

With her head still tilted back to look up at him, she replied, "You always make me feel less tired."

It was a rare moment of confession that made Castle's face light up even as he asked rhetorically, "That's a good thing, right?"

Kate smiled and then, "Hey—" she sat up abruptly upon realising that they were missing a body, "—I thought Gabriel came over today."

"He wants you to find him mommy," Zoey said, jumping up and down in front of her.

"Oh really?" Kate said, subsequently finding herself getting pulled around by her daughter.

"I know where he is," Zoey whispered, not so secretively. Dragging Kate into Castle's study, she pointed excitedly at the table.

Kate exchanged an amused look with Castle before walking around the left side of the desk and peering underneath. "Hi Gabriel," she said, giving him a wink.

He giggled. "Hi Katie!"

"Is Lina coming to get you soon?" she asked, offering her hand to pull him out.

Gabriel nodded, unable to hide his reluctance to leave.

"But," Castle said, "I told him that after you came home, we would all celebrate the first snowfall of the season with some hot cocoa."

"That sounds really good," Kate replied.

"But I'm not allowed to have chocolate," Gabriel said.

"That's so sad," Zoey replied, as if Gabriel had just told her his goldfish had died.

"Well," said Castle, "You don't have to tell your mom an—"

"—Castle! Don't tell Gabriel to _lie_ to his parents." Kate turned to the two of them, "Remember, you should always tell the truth."

Zoey stared at Kate curiously. "Do you always?"

Kate paused and Castle barely concealed his smirk. "I… try to," Kate finally said, "But, you should always tell the truth to the people you trust. Like family."

"Oh." Zoey nodded slowly, "Okay…"

"Gabriel," Kate said, having seen Nancy allow her son an iota of junk food at a classmate's birthday party and knowing that a little chocolate wouldn't hurt him, "How about you drink a little bit of the hot cocoa with us and we'll tell your mommy and daddy that Rick and I gave you permission. Okay?"

Gabriel nodded, feeling much better about breaking a rule since an adult had told him it was okay.

Gabriel and Zoey seated themselves at the dining room table, swinging their legs back and forth in order to make simultaneous _thump_ noises against their chairs. Their heads were bent towards each other, talking and giggling conspiratorally.

"They're cute," Kate remarked, handing Castle the carton of milk.

"I had an interesting conversation with their teacher the other day," Castle replied, rummaging through the cupboards until he found the cocoa mix. "Apparently, they balance each other out in the classroom."

"How? They're both so shy."

Castle shook his head. "Not according to Miss Thomas. I like to think Zo's just adventurous but I believe the word she used was 'boisterous'."

Kate chuckled. "You're kidding." She looked over at her daughter. "I guess she just needed time to get comfortable around new people."

Castle leaned against the counter next to Kate as they waited for the milk to heat up. "Zo's the one who urges Gabriel to stop being so restrained and quiet while Gabriel keeps Zoey from getting into trouble when she gets too loud and, occasionally, bossy." He nudged Kate's side.

"Hey, you're the loud one," Kate replied.

"Yeah, but you're the bos—_take-charge_ one," Castle amended after Kate's glare cut his original adjective short.

She smirked. "You better believe I am."

Castle went to go grab the bag of mini-marshmallows before helping Kate with two of the steaming mugs. "Okay," he said after he had placed the drinks in front of Zoey and Gabriel, "How many marshmallows do you want?"

"The most you can have is five," Kate added.

Zoey, who already had an answer ready – a number _well above _five – closed her mouth in slight disappointment.

"So, that's five for Zoey," Castle said, grinning. He turned to Gabriel, "What about you, kiddo?"

Gabriel tilted his head in consideration. "Umm… three?" he replied, clearly of two minds.

"Gabriel!" Zoey exclaimed. She looked up at Castle. "He wants five, too."

"I think that's Gabriel's decision, Zo," Kate said, taking a sip of her cocoa in order to hide her smile.

Zoey looked expectantly at her friend as if saying, "_We-ll? Hurry up, then!_"

Castle and Kate watched, with amusement, the silent exchange between the two: Zoey urging Gabriel to just go for it and Gabriel clearly pondering how naughty he wanted to be.

While Kate didn't hate the Brewers, she did dislike the fear and apprehension they had seemed to instill in their son. So much so that he wasn't even willing to ask for something he clearly wanted (and that Kate and Castle had clearly given him permission for). So, she deliberately took the bag of marshmallows from Castle and dropped five into his mug before doing the same to hers.

That seemed to be enough incentive for Gabriel. "I want five!" he declared as if a giant anvil had been lifted off his shoulders at this decision.

Zoey pumped her fists. "Yess!"

Half an hour later, Lina showed up at their front door. With winter gear fully zipped and buttoned, Gabriel made sure to give both Kate and Castle a hug. Then, in a whisper as effective as Zoey's had been earlier, he turned to her and said, "Zoey, you have the best mom and dad _ever_."

* * *

_A/N: (__Nope. Haven't finished the new _Eyes Open _chapter, yet... about halfway if that's any consolation..._ )

_Oh, and I don't know if you guys remember but I had previously introduced the Brewers in chapter 34 – I'm a fan of Chekhov's gun. ;) _

_Leave me your thoughts!_

_Coming up: leaving on a jetplane… _


	40. MUSIC

**Chapter 40**

.

"There's no snow!"

The four of them were standing outside Kaluhui Airport waiting for a taxi. Castle had wanted to take a vacation over the Christmas holidays and Kate had insisted on someplace warm. Alexis was the one who had suggested Maui.

At Zoey's exclamation, Kate replied, "That's right, Zo. They have a different kind of winter than we do."

The little girl furrowed her eyebrows. "Does Santa know that there's no snow?"

On the plane, Alexis had reassured her little sister that Santa Claus would be able to deliver her presents no matter where they were in the world. He was just that magical. Now, Castle said, "Don't worry Zozo, Santa likes beaches and sunshine as much as we do."

Zoey nodded and responded seriously, "I hope he remembers to pack his swimsuit, too."

.

Their hotel was right on the beach and the suite they were staying in would offer the perfect view of the setting and rising sun over the water.

"These doors?" Castle started suggestively as he and Kate wheeled their suitcases into one of the rooms, "—basically soundproof."

Kate smirked at him. "What makes you so sure you'll be getting lucky?"

"C'mon," Castle said, wrapping his arms around her waist and effectively stopping her from unpacking, "Two weeks in a hotel room? It's a cliché for a reason."

"We won't be spending the _entire _time in here," Kate replied, leaning into his touch.

He kissed her neck. "We could," he murmured against her ear.

A knock sounded on their door. "We're coming in!" Alexis said loudly.

Kate chuckled and pushed him away. "Clearly Alexis is suspicious of your intentions as well."

Zoey and Alexis bounded inside before Castle could come up with a retort. "We're done unpacking," Alexis declared. She and Zoey's room was directly across from Kate and Castle's, separated by a large living space and a kitchenette.

"That was fast," Kate replied.

Alexis shrugged. "Well, I just took out some toiletries and stuff."

"See," Castle said with a poke to Kate's side, "She doesn't believe in unpacking on vacation either."

"Mommy, I want to go swimming," Zoey chirruped from her position on the carpet. She had been digging through Castle's suitcase and was now holding up a pair of goggles.

Kate threw up her hands in a symbol of giving up, though she was smiling as she did it. "Alright, the three of you win," she said and then glanced at the clock, "But how about we go and eat something first?"

With the time in Hawaii being six hours behind what they were used to, they were supposed to be having dinner by now. Instead, it was only lunchtime. Kate could already anticipate the jetlag.

"Yay!" Zoey said, jumping up from the floor. "Can I wear my swimsuit?"

Castle ruffled Zoey's hair and chuckled at her enthusiasm. "How about your wear your swimsuit _underneath_ some regular clothes?"

Zoey nodded agreeably and ran, cheering loudly, back across to her room.

"I'll help her," Alexis said, sliding off the bed. "And I might just do the same."

Kate tossed Castle a beachbag after Alexis left. "Can you grab some towels while I search for the sunscreen?"

"Are you changing?" he asked, disappearing inside the bathroom.

"Well, I'm changing out of these clothes," Kate replied, wrinkling her nose, "They smell like plane."

"What? No bikini?" Castle asked cheekily when he came out and saw that Kate was pulling on a sundress. "Are you telling me that I have to wait another day to see that little red number you packed?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You see me naked every day, Castle."

"That's different," Castle replied, stepping behind Kate and nudging her hand away in order to do up the zipper for her.

"Oh really? How?" Kate said, dryly.

Brushing her hair off to the left, he bit her right shoulder gently. "This way I get to use my imagination—" he sucked on the tender spot "—and you know how _imaginative_ I like to be in those situations."

Kate shivered under his touch, using her own hands to guide his on her body. "Castle," she said, breathily, "We can't do this now."

"Mhm," he replied even as he started applying pressure between her legs.

With all the strength she could muster, she took a hold of his roaming hands and turned around in his arms. "I'm serious," she said, pulling him in for a deep kiss before slipping away from his hold.

"Aw, come on!" Castle whined petulantly. "You're such a tease!"

.

Three days into their vacation, the four of them got a surprise in the form of Martha Rodgers.

"Oh. No." Castle stopped halfway through the lobby of the hotel. "Tell me this isn't happening."

They heard Martha before they saw her. She was standing at the reception desk, strongly emoting reasons why she should be given the room where Richard Castle was staying. "I'm his _mother_!" she said, outfit billowing as she raised her arms theatrically. "Without me, you wouldn't have any reading material!"

Alexis and Zoey chose that moment to interrupt. "Grams!" Alexis shouted, running across the lobby, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh! There are my girls," Martha exclaimed, opening her arms up to take them both in for a hug.

"Mr. Castle," the receptionist said hurriedly, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea tha—"

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted, continuing humourously, "It wouldn't have been a disservice if you _had_ made her leave."

"Richard!" Martha exclaimed just as Kate hit his arm.

"I'm joking!" he said, holding up his hands in innocence. "But seriously, mother, what _are_ you doing here?"

"A vacation, of course!"

"And it just happens to be a coincidence that you chose the exact same location that we did?"

"Well, when I realised that I wasn't going to get to spend Christmas with my girls for two years in a row, I told Roman that we just _had _to join you."

"That's great, Grams!" Alexis said, genuinely excited about the prospect.

"Are you staying in this hotel, too, Martha?" Kate asked.

"Oh no, Roman rented a nice little place for us just down the way."

"Where is he, anyway?" Castle asked.

"Oh, he's flying in in the morning," Martha answered.

"So, you'll be spending the whole day with us?" Alexis asked.

"That's the plan," Martha said, linking her right arm with Alexis' and holding onto Zoey's hand with her left.

Castle and Kate trailed behind them as they made their way out into the sunshine. Castle leaned over to whisper in Kate's ear. "You think we could sneak away for a couple of hours while my mother looks after them?"

.

The next few days went much like the ones prior: get up whenever they felt like it, eat breakfast, go to the beach, eat lunch, go back to the beach, eat dinner, sleep. For Kate, who worked practically every day back in New York, this lifestyle was basically heaven.

"I'm surprised I'm not feeling restless," Kate said one day. She was sitting in a beach chair, under a giant umbrella, reading a novel while Castle made notes beside her. Zoey was with Martha and Roman, exploring some tree farm or butterfly farm, and Alexis had gotten distracted by a boy at dinner the evening before and had made plans to meet up. (Castle had already made Kate grill him in order to make sure he wasn't an axe murderer but he had still insisted Alexis stay near the hotel and not wander off the beach to which Alexis simply rolled her eyes).

"What do you mean?" Castle replied, "Must you be running after criminals all day in order to not be bored? Because I thought I was a pretty good one-man party."

"Oh, you're plenty entertaining, Castle," Kate replied wryly.

"So, what is it?" Castle continued, "Katherine Beckett doesn't know how to take a real vacation?"

Kate turned to him, legs swinging off the chair to dig her feet into the sand. Her eyes had suddenly turned serious.

Castle became mildly alarmed. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing," Kate said, "That's the thing. Even though I might've been physically relaxed, I've never gone on a vacation before without my mind being preoccupied about one thing or another—"

"—worrying," Castle filled in.

Kate nodded. "But this time…" her lips started pulling up into a small smile.

Castle finally sat up fully in order to mimic Kate; he trapped her legs around his. "I guess I just have that calming effect on you," he said, half joking.

She twisted their hands together and looked down at them. "Ironic, right?"

Castle knew Kate was trying to play off all of the emotions that were flooding through her at that moment. Most of the time, he let her get away with it but for some reason, he felt that _this _time was different. He could feel something changing. "I love you, Kate," he said softly.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, silent and searching. Finally, "Let's get married," she said.

Castle chuckled a little squeezing her hands before settling back into the chair, "I thought that was already the plan."

"No," Kate said, still in her upright position, "I mean now. Let's get married _now_."

He sat back up abruptly. "_Now?_"

She nodded. "Yes. Right here, right now."

"Like, at this very second?" Castle was too shocked and surprised to think about the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Well, no," Kate said, amused at the look on his face, "But maybe tomorrow or the day after." She smiled at him. "Everything seems so perfect here, doesn't it?" She picked up her phone and started fiddling with it. "I want to get married here but I also want to fly my dad out before that happens." Her brows furrowed just a little. "Is that okay? I mean, is all of this okay? Do you want—"

"Yes!" Castle interrupted her before she could finish her thoughts, "Let's do this. Here. Now." A wide, irrepressible smile had broken out across his face. "It's perfect. You're perfect. We're perfect. Everything's beautiful."

Kate laughed, a real from-the-heart laugh. "Now, you and Martha won't have time to go overboard."

"Oh," Castle jumped up from his chair, "Don't bet on that." With his brain getting carried away with ideas and his mouth verbalizing every single one of them, Castle looked like he was about to run back up to their hotel room and start planning and making preparations immediately. Only after a second did he notice Kate still sitting down on the beach chair, shaking her head at his behaviour. He pulled her up mid-ramble. One look from her and his breathing slowed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her tightly. "We're getting married," he said, his voice a caress against her ear.

She closed her eyes. "We're getting married."

* * *

_A/N: Hey everyone, I know not all of you have seen the message on my twitter but the reason I've been away was due to the fact that somebody really close to me was/is hospitalised. I've been doing a lot of writing and thinking but just not fanfiction writing, you know? Anyway, thank you to all the people who sent me messages, wondering and worrying about me – I was really touched even though I didn't have the time or mental energy to respond. It makes me feel like the world is a wonderful place to have strangers – in essence – care so much._

_So, hopefully this marks my return. There are still some chapters to go with this story so don't worry! (As for _Eyes Open_, I seem to have left Kate in quite a state but I don't know if I can go back to writing about illness and hospitals just yet… I will be updating but I felt like reading/writing something happy first) and this story is about as happy as can be right now! :)_

_Please tell me what you think about this chapter and the upcoming nuptials! ;)_

_Thanks for your patience. Je vous adore. 3_


	41. PLAYING

**Chapter 41**

.

A little knock sounded on their door – opened a crack that morning by Castle after he had returned from the bathroom, anticipating their little girl wanting to join him and Kate for a snuggle – before the muffled sound of tiny footsteps could be heard across the carpet.

"Mommy," Zoey whispered, creeping up on Kate's side of the bed.

"Hey sweetheart, I think mommy's still sleeping." Castle propped himself up on one elbow to peer over at Zoey, "Why don't you come over here and I'll lift you up?"

She puttered over to Castle, an arm around her stuffed bunny. He bent over the edge of the bed and picked her up with an exaggerated _oof_. The little girl giggled. "Daddy, you're so cuckoo sometimes."

"Cuckoo?" he said, kissing her cheek, "Who taught you how to say 'cuckoo'?"

"Suzy Carmichael did at school. She calls her little brother that _all _the time."

"Oh, well, if Suzy Carmichael does it…" Castle teased, thinking that it was only in elementary school that you couldn't just say a friend's first name. It _had_ to be their full name. "Is Lexi still asleep?" he asked Zoey, tucking the covers up around her.

"Mhm. I didn't try to poke her this morning," Zoey answered soberly, referring to the incident the previous morning where Alexis had swatted at her in her still-asleep state.

"Yes, your sister never did like people waking her up," Castle said.

"Like mommy."

"That's right," he agreed, "_Exactly_ like mommy."

"Are you two talking about me behind my back?" Kate murmured, turning over to face them.

"Never." Castle answered.

"Daddy!" Zoey chastised, "You're not supposed to lie." She inched over to Kate. "Yes, mommy. Daddy said that you don't like people waking you up."

"Good girl," Kate said, kissing her daughter on the nose for her honesty. She wrapped an arm around Zoey and hugged her tight. "But I don't mind when _you _wake me up, Zozo."

Zoey beamed. "Because I'm a good snuggler, right?"

"Yup," Kate said, brushing back Zoey's mess of curls so that they weren't sticking up around Kate's face.

Castle wiggled closer to the pair, voice eager like a puppy's, "I'm a good snuggler, too, right? Right?"

Kate looked at him wryly, "No, Castle. You're not."

"Oh really?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "That's not what you said la—"

Kate clamped a hand over Castle's mouth. "—you keep going and I'll make sure we don't _snuggle_ again for the rest of this trip."

Castle scoffed and said something incomprehensible.

"What was that?" Kate said, removing her hand with a gleam in her eyes.

"I _said_: as if you could resist."

Zoey's head had been turning back and forth between her parents until—

"—hey Zo?" Kate said, "I think it's been a long time since we've tickled daddy, don't you?"

Zoey shrieked _yes_ at the same time that she pounced on top of Castle's stomach.

"Not fair!" Castle yelped, "Turning our daughter against me!"

"Oh my god." The door to their room opened fully to reveal Alexis. With her arms crossed, Alexis was more amused than upset at being woken up at six-thirty during what was supposed to be her vacation. "You guys are so loud!"

"Come join us, Alexis," said Kate, with a laugh, "We're attacking your dad."

Alexis bounced across the room and onto the giant bed. "Gladly," she said, with a laugh of her own.

.

"Merry Christmas, grandpa!" It was later that morning and they were all eating breakfast outside, underneath clear blue skies and a light breeze. Zoey had Castle's cell held up against her ear and she was sitting back in the teak chair – legs dangling – feeling important for being the first one on the phone. She made a face when Kate offered her another piece of grapefruit and continued talking. "Yup! I did go swimming and we went on a boat and saw some fishies – they were really colourful – and I'm wearing the hat you gave me for Christmas and I'm having a lot of fun but, you know what? Lexi forgot to put on sunscreen yesterday and now she looks like a tomato... And guess what? Mommy has a surprise to tell you! She and daddy are getting marr—"

"Whoa!" Kate took the phone out of Zoey's hand before she could innocently spill-the-beans. She waggled her finger. "You silly girl," she said, chuckling, and then into the phone, "Hi dad. Merry Christmas."

"What are you and Rick doing?" Jim said, amused at the shuffling that had gone on.

Kate took a deep breath and replied, "How quickly do you think you can pack?"

"That depends," Jim said, "Where am I going?"

"Maui." Kate looked over at Castle, smiling widely as their eyes met. "Rick and I are getting married."

"When? _Today_?" Jim sounded shocked and pleased all at the same time.

"Well, day after tomorrow," Kate replied, "But I'd like you to be here for it… I mean, I know you're supposed to be driving up to see Aunt Louise but—"

"—Katie, I wouldn't miss it for the world." Kate could hear her father bustling around and she imagined him climbing up the stairs and pulling out his old suitcase. "I assume you and Rick have already made arrangements for the flight?" he asked, humour lacing his question.

Kate smiled. "Of course. Your flight is leaving fr—" She paused when Castle made a motion to hand the phone over to him "—hang on, dad. Castle's going to tell you – we, well, _he_ had to pull some strings with the airline since it's the holidays and kind of last minute."

"Hi, Jim," Castle said, taking the phone from Kate, "Merry Christmas." He started to stand up, mouthing 'too loud' to Kate, before moving away from the breakfasters.

"So," Alexis started, drawing Kate's attention back to the table, "Grams and I think we should go dress shopping today."

"Oh," Kate waved her hand, "I don't want anything fancy."

Alexis forked some scrambled eggs. "Yeah, I figured as much, but you still need something to wear – _something __new_ and all that – besides, Grams all but insisted."

"I'm not getting out of shopping with your grandmother, am I?"

Alexis grinned. "I'm afraid not."

.

"_Wakey, __wakey_…"

Kate wiggled her nose at the persistent itch. It was the 27th. The day of her wedding. And she had been hoping to sleep in. But—

"_Kate__…__Ka_te…Kate."

—somebody was calling her name.

She groaned and slowly opened her eyes. A pair of deep brown ones blinked right back at her and she sat up with a bolt.

"_Fin_ally. Girl, you are a sound sleeper."

"Yeah, when I'm on vacation!" Kate exclaimed and then leaned in to hug her best friend. "Lanie, _what_ are you doing here?"

"It's your wedding day! Where else would I be? Certainly not in New York when I could be getting my tan on in Hawaii."

"But how… what—"

"Your boy flew us out."

"_Us_?"

"Me and Javi… Ryan… Jenny… your dad…"

"Oh, I'm gonna—"

Lanie slapped her arm. "I can't believe you were going to get married without me!"

"Lanie, I didn't think—"

"—that's right, you didn't think!"

"Hey," Kate pointed a finger at Lanie, "When I called you yesterday, you didn't say anything!"

"Well, _duh_." Lanie rolled her eyes. "It was supposed to be a _surprise_. No private jet unless we kept our mouths shut."

"He _flew __you __guys __out __on __a__—_Richard Castle!" Kate yelled out the last part.

Within seconds, Castle poked his head into the room. "Yes, dear?"

Kate glared at him. "When you said that you 'pulled a few strings' to get my dad out here, I thought you meant that you called in a favour or something."

Castle grinned. "I did call in a favour. To my pilot buddy, Jack."

"You—"

"So, I pulled some _bigger_ strings," he said, "You can't honestly be mad."

"Yeah, give Writer Boy a break," Lanie chimed in, "At least _he_ knew I wouldn't be happy with a wedding video."

Kate flopped back onto her pillow and sighed – though both fiancé and best friend knew that Kate was only putting on a front. "You two are unbelievable."

"I'm going to go and get the girls up," Castle said, tactfully giving Lanie and Kate some time to catch up.

As the door eased shut, Lanie pushed Kate over on the bed and jumped in next to her. "Your dad and the boys are settling into their rooms."

"Don't tell me you guys are next door."

"No, your boy's not _that_ good. We're a few floors below you." She twined her left arm around Kate's right. "Still, you should probably get up and get dressed."

Kate nodded but they continued to lie there in silence, both pairs of eyes staring at the ceiling and contemplating where their lives have taken them. It was a few minutes later when Kate broke it.

"I'm really glad you're here, Lanie."

Lanie nudged her. "I know."

.

They were going to have their wedding in the early evening – just as the sun would be setting – on the beach in front of Roman and Martha's villa.

Kate was getting ready in one of their guestrooms while the fuss of setting up was still going on outside. Castle hadn't wanted Kate to see the venue until they walked out for the first time.

"Final touches, final touches!" Martha called, exiting from the ensuite with Zoey and Alexis in tow. "You already have your _something __new_," Martha said, indicating Kate's gorgeous dress, "So, let me give you your _something __old_."

From behind her back, Martha revealed a beautiful necklace containing strands of tiny pearls.

"Martha," Kate said, breathless, "Thank you."

Martha shook her head, eyes slightly misty, "Don't thank me, dear. You just take care of it and hopefully, one day, you'll be able to pass it on."

Alexis blushed when her grandmother looked over at her. "Grams!"

"What?" Martha stepped back, eyes wide and innocent, "I'm just saying…"

"Okay, okay," Lanie said, saving Alexis from further teasing, "My turn."

Kate turned to her best friend. "Lanie, what did you—"

"Don't worry, Kate, I'm only lending these to you," Lanie said, grinning. She took out a Tiffany blue box and opened it up to hand Kate the same crystal earrings that she had worn for her wedding with Esposito.

Kate gave Lanie a hug. "Thanks," she said, and then in jest, "I'll make sure these get back to you in one piece." Kate walked the two steps to the mirror and found that her hands shook as she tried to put in the earrings. _Stop __it_, she told herself.

"Kate," said Alexis, coming up behind her, "I have something for you too."

"Oh, Alexis," Kate breathed out, "You didn't have to—"

"—it's nothing, really," Alexis cut in. She ran into the washroom and came back out with fresh blue flowers. "I thought we could put them in your hair and, you know, _something __blue_."

"That's a great idea, Alexis." Kate smiled and the two of them worked a couple of petals into her hair, which was swept back into a simple updo.

A knock at the bedroom door interrupted the moment and Kate was silently glad because it was way too early for her to be getting so emotional. And then her dad entered and she knew that her plans of staying dry-eyed until the ceremony would _not_ be happening.

One look at his daughter and Jim Beckett immediately started tearing up.

"Okay, come on, ladies," Martha said, shooing everybody out the door and giving Kate a wink, "Father-daughter moment."

Jim approached and Kate let her dad twirl her around so that he could get the full effect. Her dress was an off-white, strapless affair with a gazaar and silk crepe sheath over a bodice and an asymmetrically draped skirt. It skimmed the floor, which was perfect because Kate wasn't planning on wearing shoes.

"My beautiful daughter," he said, clearly feeling sentimental.

Kate hugged him. "This is really happening, daddy."

"And you're happy?"

She nodded. "Really, really happy."

"Good," he said, "That's all I've ever wanted for you."

Kate smiled. "Thanks dad."

"Katie, you know that I'm so proud of you."

She peered up at him. "For what?"

He smiled softly. "For everything. For being strong and tough. For asking your old man for help sometimes…. for being my daughter."

"Dad," Kate sniffed, "You're going to make me cry."

He chuckled when she pulled away in order to grab tissue from the bathroom.

"And Katie?" he said, just as she reached the threshold.

She looked over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Don't worry about your mom. She's watching over us tonight. I know it."

.

"Are you prepared?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Castle, your blindfold is ruining my makeup."

"It's gonna blow your mind."

"Castle, our friends and family are staring at us."

"How do you know? You're blindfolded."

"CASTLE."

"Okay, fine, fine. Sheesh."

Standing behind her, he gently undid the silk scarf.

They were standing on the porch steps and what met Kate's eyes was something she didn't even know she wanted. All she saw was lights: a fiber-optic wonder that had a figure eight – _the infinity __symbol_, Kate quickly realised – hovering in the middle of the beach, with tiny LEDs draped in and dangled around it. Beautiful old-fashioned lanterns hung from every tree and precious fairy lights surrounded the area, making it look breathtakingly otherworldly. A trail of candles led from the porch to where their friends and family were gathered and this was all, naturally, under a blanket of blossoming starlight.

It wasn't a private beach, of course, and there were passers-by who were equally stunned by the display and had stopped to watch in curiosity. For once, Kate found that she didn't mind. These complete strangers were about to feel the sheer force of love that she and Castle felt for each other and she became too happy and smitten and enchanted to even notice.

She tilted her head towards Castle, unable to let her eyes wander from the sight. "This is a dream," she murmured.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered into her ear before dropping a kiss on her bare shoulder.

She reached up her hand to capture one of his that had rested against her arm and pulled him in front of her. "I love it," she said, kissing him sweetly.

"So," he said, "Are you ready?"

She nodded. "I'm ready."

They took each other's hand and walked down together.

.

"And now," said the Officiant, Henry, "Before you exchange your vows, your daughters have something they would like to say."

"It's a story!" Zoey blurted out, before the two of them had even taken their spot – with little notebooks in hand – in front of Kate and Castle.

"That's great, Zozo," Castle said, amongst chuckles from the others.

Alexis cleared her throat and everybody quieted. She started: _"The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy there. It was, after all, his cage..._"

Zoey needed a little prompting from Alexis before she remembered it was her turn. "_Then_…" she read, "…_along __came __the __Lovely __Other __Dinosaur__…"_

As the two of them continued reading, the gathering crowd surrounding the wedding ceremony stopped shuffling and whispering as much, suitably beguiled.

"…_together __they __stand __on __the __hill __telling __each __other __stories__…_" Alexis smiled at her dad when she read that part.

"…_and __that, __my __friends, __is __how __it __is __with __love. __Let __us __all __be Di__nosaurs __and __Lovely __Other __Dinosaurs __to_—" Zoey looked up at Alexis for some help. "Oh yeah," she said, after Alexis whispered the word into her ear. _"_Together. _For __the __sun __is __warm__…_"

"…_And __the World is a beautiful __place._"

"The end," Zoey finished.

It was during the clapping – and Esposito's and Ryan's whistling – that Kate started to feel nervous about the next part of the ceremony, which just happened to be—

"—the vows," said Henry, "I understand you've written your own?"

"Yes," Castle answered, taking out his slip of paper from his right pocket and Kate's – sealed in an envelope so he wouldn't peek – from his left.

"Who would like to go first?" Henry asked.

Castle squeezed Kate's hand. "Actually," he said, addressing Henry, "We're going to read each other's."

"Each other's?" Lanie interjected, "As in—"

"—less nerve-wracking this way," Castle said, sliding his finger against the seal of Kate's envelope, "But, I'll go first."

"You guys are weird," Esposito chimed in. Kate turned around and gave him a look. "Not weird!" he amended, "…special."

Kate rolled her eyes but felt some of the tension leaving her shoulders. She watched as Castle scanned the piece of paper – the final copy out of _dozens_ that she had gone through in search of the perfect words – and knew, from the look on his face, that she never had anything to worry about.

After a protracted silence, Castle finally decided to share:

'_Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.'_

_Neil Gaiman said that. _

_The thing is, Castle, you carry such a big piece of me now that I'll be yours forever._

He looked up from the paper and met Kate's eyes, his own a little misty.

"Not my own words, I know," she said to him.

He bent to kiss her cheek. "But the ones that were, were perfect." He offered her his vows. "Your turn."

Kate unfolded the piece of paper and was met with many lines that he had struck out:

_If love were a place…_

_…more than anyone on Earth (and Mars and any undiscovered universes)…_

_...and I like you better than everything in the sky…_

_A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous—_

_...you smell like home._

Until, finally:

_Kate,_

_I can picture a thousand words to say, but in the end, I only need three._

* * *

___A/N: I know it's been a while but I'll be doing regular updates again from now on (at least, once a week for at least one of my on-going stories)!_

_(P.S.: Anybody know how to do a strikethrough on this site? I tried everything and it wouldn't let me cross-out those few lines in Castle's vows... grr...)_

_Anyway, PLEASE review and let me know what you think of this chapter, whether any flow was lost, whether any love was lost (from you guys)!_


	42. ON

**Chapter 42**

.

"Oh, ew." Castle pulled the bag of Romaine hearts from the crisper and threw it in the garbage can beside him. "Kate," he yelled out into the general vicinity of their room, "I think we need to go grocery shopping." He scrunched up his nose when he extracted the baby carrots next, dangling the little baggie between his thumb and index finger before discarding it as well.

"It was your job to clean out the fridge before we left," Kate called back. She walked into the kitchen with an armful of dirty vacation clothes and saw that he was inspecting a container of leftovers, as if actually considering that it would be safe to consume. "Throw that out, Castle," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Really? But, it was—"

"—Out."

He huffed, but did as she said. "So, what do you want to eat for dinner?" He asked, shutting the refrigerator door and trailing after Kate, picking up a dropped sock along the way. "Chinese? Italian?"

"Just order a pizza, I guess," she answered. "I'm too tired to be hungry."

"Really? Didn't you fall asleep on the plane," he said.

"Yeah, for maybe an hour or two."

They had left Maui yesterday night at 10:15 and arrived at JFK a couple of hours ago at four. It would have been an ideal flight for minimizing jetlag – getting on the plane and sleeping, just to wake up in time to arrive in the afternoon – but there had been a lot of turbulence and Kate and Castle had spent much of the flight consoling Zoey and telling Alexis not to worry.

"Besides," Kate continued, "It's not like we did a whole lot of _sleeping_ during the last few days. Especially after you got us that ridiculous honeymoon suite."

He waggled his eyebrows. "Well, we _did_ spend a lot of time in bed," he replied, "You _could_ have slept if you wanted to."

"Oh really?" she turned to face him with a smirk. "I seem to recall being woken up on multiple occasions."

He stepped into her space, bracing his hands against the washing machine on either side of her body. "Are you complaining?" he asked suggestively.

She tilted her head up, eyes sparkling. "Did you hear me complaining?"

"No." He shook his head slowly, leaning down to kiss the side of her mouth, "But I do remember hearing many _other_ sounds slipping through those gorgeous lips." When he kissed her this time, it was with lips parted.

She let his tongue stroke hers for a few seconds before pulling away. "Mmm… maybe I'll let you hear some of them tonight," she said, purposefully making herself sound a little breathy.

It had the desired effect: his eyes widened just a bit and his lower body moved infinitesimally closer. "Promise?"

She gave him a saucy look and turned back around in his arms, resuming her previous task of sorting through the clothes while trying desperately to ignore his close proximity.

He seemed to be equally distracted as he stepped away from her, picking up a piece of clothing at random. Just as he was about to toss one of Kate's white tanktops into the washer, she stopped him. "Colours, Castle," she said, grinning and plucking the shirt out of his hands, "We're doing colours."

.

Zoey jumped up from the magic carpet, eager to play after sitting still for storytime. "Let's find the puppets again, Gabriel," she said, tugging her friend's hand.

"Okay," he replied agreeably, "But I want the doggie this time."

"Wait!" Suzy stepped in front of them just as they were about to walk past the play kitchen. "Do you want to play house with me?"

"Um…" Zoey looked to Gabriel. Suzy was really bossy and Zoey knew that Gabriel didn't like that at all.

"Please?" Suzy said, "Nobody else wants to play."

When Gabriel shrugged, Suzy took that as a 'yes' and pulled Zoey into the kitchen set, already deciding who should play what role. "Zoey can be the mommy," Suzy said, "And Gabriel, you can be the baby brother."

"Why do I have to be the baby?" Gabriel asked with arms crossed.

"Because you're a boy," Suzy answered, as if it were obvious.

"Why can't you be the baby?"

"Be_cause_," Suzy said, exasperated, "I'm a big sister."

"So?"

"_So_, I'm a real big sister and you're not," Suzy shot back, "Trust me, I know what big sisters are supposed to do."

Gabriel shook his head. "I don't care. I don't want to be your little brother. You're just gonna boss me around."

Zoey stepped between them. "How about _I _be the baby?" she said, "Then, Suzy, you can still be the big sister."

Suzy pondered for a second before sighing loudly. "Fine." She gave Gabriel a look and then said, "I guess you're the daddy then, Gabriel."

For the next few minutes, there was no more fighting between Gabriel and Suzy. But they also weren't talking. Finally, Zoey got tired of the silence and spoke up.

"So, is this what you do with your baby brother, Suzy?" she asked. Suzy was pretending to push her around in a chair.

"You're not supposed to talk Zoey," Suzy replied immediately, "You're a baby."

"Well, let's pretend that I'm a baby who can talk," Zoey replied.

Suzy shook her head. "That's not allowed."

"Why not?" Gabriel asked, "It's our game."

Suzy threw up her hands. "We can't play if you guys aren't going to follow the rules."

"Zoey," Gabriel said, getting fed up, "I'm going to play over there with Evan." He took off the hat that Suzy had made him wear and pointed to a group of tables that had crayons and paper spread all over.

Zoey looked back and forth between Gabriel and Suzy. She didn't want to hurt the other girl's feelings.

"It's okay," Gabriel said, knowing what Zoey was thinking, "You can keep playing here, if you want." He gave her a smile to make doubly sure that his best friend knew he was totally okay with it.

Once Gabriel left, Suzy and Zoey decided to play kitchen instead. "So, what do you do with your little brother?" Zoey asked again.

"Well, he's kinda boring right now," Suzy answered, handing Zoey one of the plastic pots, "He sleeps a lot and cries but sometimes my mommy lets me hold him and I make funny faces at him."

"Do you like having a brother?" Zoey asked, pretending to stir.

"I like it because it means I don't have to be the littlest anymore," Suzy said.

Zoey nodded wistfully, "I wish I had a baby sister or baby brother."

"Well," Suzy said, tilting her head, "Has your mommy asked you if you want a little brother or sister yet?"

Zoey stopped playing with the pans and utensils. "No," she said, facing Suzy with interest.

"My mommy asked me."

"She did?"

"Uh huh." Suzy pointed a spoon at Zoey, "Maybe you should ask your mommy! She probably forgot or something."

"You think?"

"Yeah. But, you know, I told her I wanted a little sister and I got a little brother instead so I don't think big sisters are allowed to decide."

"I think a baby brother would be okay," Zoey commented.

Suzy made a face. "Boys are gross. Do you know how much my brother poops?"

.

"Are we going to go see mommy today?" Zoey asked when Castle picked her up from school.

"We could," he said, helping her put on her mittens, "Do you want to?"

Zoey nodded. "I have a very important question to ask her."

Castle grinned, taking hold of her hand as they walked down the steps of the school. "A question you can only ask mommy?"

"I don't…know…" Zoey scrunched her nose in thought.

"Well, what's the question?" Castle asked.

Zoey shook her head. "I think I'll wait to ask mommy. Just in case."

"Alright then," he said, boosting her up into the car. "And it can't wait until mommy gets home tonight?"

Zoey climbed into her carseat. "I want to ask her _now, _daddy."

"Okay, okay," Castle said, chuckling, "Is it more important than lunch, though? Because I'm sure mommy would love it if you brought her some."

"No," Zoey replied, patting her own stomach, "Let's get lunch first. I'm hungry."

.

It was one thirty by the time Castle and Zoey made it to the precinct, a takeout box full of a burger and fries in hand.

Zoey skipped across the bullpen and, spotting Ryan, greeted him loudly.

"Hey kiddo," Ryan said, lifting Zoey onto his lap, "Are you here to visit your Uncle Kevin?"

"No," Zoey answered, honest about her intentions, "I'm here to see my mommy."

"Oh," Ryan said, feigning regret, "I guess that means I don't need to give you any of the chocolate that I bought just for you."

Zoey's eyes widened. "You don't?"

"I'm just kidding, Zo," Ryan said, laughing, opening up the last drawer of his desk where he kept his stash of junk food. As Zoey busied herself with the chocolate, Ryan directed his attention at Castle who was – as usual – sitting at Kate's desk and messing with her stationary. "You bring enough for the rest of us?" he asked, referring to the lunch Castle had set down.

"What're you talking about?" Esposito said, his voice coming from the elevator along with the tell-tale sounds of Kate's heels. "You don't need Castle to bring you food; you pack yourself a lunch every day. Like you're still in the fourth grade."

"Hey!" Ryan looked slightly embarrassed.

"Own it," Castle said to Ryan, getting up to offer Kate her seat back.

"Following up a lead," Kate said as she sat down, answering Castle's question before he even asked it.

He grinned. "You know me so well."

Zoey, who had been having a brief wrestle in Esposito's arms, now flew to Kate's side and looked up at her adorably. "We brought you lunch, mommy."

Kate picked Zoey up and onto her lap, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Zozo."

"Do you want me to make you some coffee, too?" Castle asked.

Kate shook her head, picking up her water bottle, "I've had too much already."

"For you to admit that—" Castle started, trailing off at Kate's glare.

"I know when I've had enough," Kate defended.

"Sure," Castle said, the rest of his sentence getting cut short when Kate's attention drifted back to their daughter.

Zoey was pulling at Kate's sleeve. "Mommy, mommy."

"Yeah, what is it Zo?" Kate said.

Zoey twisted her body slightly so that she could better face her mom. "I have a very important question."

"Oh yeah," Castle cut in, "Zo had ulterior motives for visiting you."

"Ssh, daddy," Zoey scolded.

"Okay, Zo, what is it?" Kate said, taking a sip of water to try and hide the twinkle in her eye at how effective their daughter was at getting Castle to be quiet.

After a beat, Zoey blurted out. "I want a baby sister. Can you give me one?"

Alarm skittered across Zoey's face when her mom started to choke.

"Mommy?" she asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kate replied, in between coughs, "Mommy probably shouldn't have been drinking that water, is all." Castle handed her a napkin, amusement in his eyes. There was a fair amount of bewilderment there also, which was how Kate figured that Zoey's question had most likely been a surprise for him as well.

It was a couple of minutes before Kate could compose herself enough to peer down at Zoey and say, "Why are you asking about a baby sister, Zo?"

Zoey sighed. "Well, because I'm always the littlest! And I don't want to be the littlest anymore. And Suzy Carmichael said that before she got her little brother, her mommy asked her if she wanted one except Suzy wanted a baby sister but—" she looked up at Kate "—I don't care if it's a baby brother _or_ sister, but since you didn't ask me if I wanted one, Suzy told me to ask you first 'cause maybe you forgot."

"Oh, that Suzy Carmichael," Castle said, shaking his head a little in mirth.

Kate, on the other hand, was at a loss for any words at all.

"So?" Zoey finally prompted. "Can I have a baby sister?"

"Um…" Kate looked at Castle. They hadn't really discussed the possibility of having another child but it would be a lie to say that Kate hadn't thought about it on her own. Still, Castle already had a grown daughter and with Zoey having been the pleasant surprise that she was, Kate had just assumed that Castle was done with kids.

Though, Castle's thoughtful gaze on hers at the moment suggested that maybe she had been wrong in her presumption.

"Zoey…" Kate started, stalling until Castle gave her an encouraging little nod, followed by a shrug. He knew that she would never give Zoey a flat 'yes' or 'no' and he was essentially telling her that any answer she gave would be okay by him. She met her daughter's eyes once again. "Zoey, I don't know yet if you can have a baby brother or sister. I can't give you an easy answer right now because it's something your daddy and I have to talk about."

"You and daddy?" Zoey asked, "I thought it was just supposed to be the mommy."

"Nope," Kate answered, shooting Castle a tiny smile, "The decision to have another baby is both mommy _and_ daddy's decision."

"Oh," Zoey said.

"So, can you give your daddy and I some time?"

Zoey nodded slowly. "Yeah… but—" her gaze flicked back and forth between Kate and Castle "—please, please... I _really_ want a little sister to play with."

* * *

_A/N: It's a safe bet to say that I'll be updating this story on Thursdays (or late Wednesday nights since I keep vampire hours). Please review! I love reviews! 3_


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